I never thought I'd been able to walk in the halls of Colby High-School, nevertheless with my head up and not looking over my shoulder.
It was completely foreign being able to look around and notice things and people that I never seen because I've been staring at the ground for the last three years.
I can walk somewhat at ease through the crowds of blondes, brunettes and the occasional redhead that I'd would have never noticed.
As usual Eli walks maybe five or six paces behind me with his backpack hanging on one shoulder with his hands firmly placed in the front pockets of his fitted black jeans with a long stride as he tails behind.
His face is stern as always and just like his presences and demeanor he's intimidating. He stares everyone in the eyes with no fear because he knows he's that threatening to everyone since he made that clear.
When I first met Eli about five days ago he was cool, somewhat of a friend attitude.
But around day three, he told me where he and I stood in the situation. He acts the same just not as friendly, it's kind of hard to explain.
We went from close to being friends to this weird relationship where he's some type of bodyguard and self-harm experienced and trusted adviser to me.
But after it all he's still as hated as I am.
None of the kids have stepped to him yet. Which is shocking because Eli punched Joey Carson. Either there planning something big or there honestly scared.
We go into the empty classroom we sat in when we first met. It's our constant refuge before, after, and in-between classes. Then he starts with the same statement I get everyday.
"Don't leave out your class until you see me, but your class before lunch go straight to the library then I'll take you to the cafeteria, after school get your stuff and go to my car, Got it Fall Out Girl? "
"Yes Eli." I groan "You tell me this everyday."
The bell rings shortly after Eli's second part of it constant statements.
He grabs my hand and leads me to my Algebra II class.
"Wait for me." He says sternly and lets me go, then strides slowly to his class on the other side of the school.
***
To: Eli
Where Are You???
(3:20 pm)
-
From: Eli
I'm coming. Just stay at the car Fall Out Girl
(3:35 pm)
-
From: Eli
Got it?!
(3:45 pm)
-
To: Eli
Yes, Got It!
(3:45 pm)
-
I had to be waiting in the back of the school for at least thirty minutes until I see Eli.
He leaves the back exit with his hair damped sticking to his forehead and him zipping his pants up and fixing her clothes.
I stare at him with narrow eyes.
"I know you're about to ask me like five thousand question." He rolls his eyes
"Who was it?"
"Brittany." He says as we both get into the car.
"Brittany?!" I blurted "She's the worse one to hook up with!"
Eli just shrugs.
"So it that like your little girlfriend now?"
"Oh my god Fall Out Girl, I didn't realize it's 1930 and after you fuck a girl in a storage closet you have to marry her."
"Your over the top sarcasm is very aggravating."
"Fuck." He groans shaking his head.
"So I wait while you fuck the enemy now?"
"The enemy?" He says cocking an eyebrow "Correction your enemy?"
"They hate both of us." I say folding my arms
"No, to get technical the guys hate me." He interjected "Remember what I told you, all girls love my type."
"Meaning?"
"Look at it like this, they feel like there doing something bad with me, fucking the most hated guy here then going back to there boyfriends and listen about how much they despise me, they thinks it's amazing."
I shake my head
"I sense some jealously Fall Out Girl?"
I scoffed "Whatever"
"They'd love to be in your place. "
I'd never want my place. Ever.
"You know Fall Out Girl, there's so many eager young bunnies that I'd like to pursue, but now even though they're eating out the palm of my hand, there's only one carrot and they all gotta share it." He slight side smirks
My face goes completely straight. He JUST quoted a Bruno Mars' song. He's officially went from 'Pop Rock' to 'Radio Disney'.
"I hate you." I say regretting every getting in this car.
"You'll come around." He says parking in-front of my 'house'
"I doubt it." I smile getting out the car.
"Mhm...every girl thinks that."
I laugh "Bye Eli."
He waves and pulls off and I wait for awhile then start my walk.
***
I walk into the unsettling house and feel a calm.
Upon entree the house smells clean and the look matches. For once in a long time it look like a home.
Aunt Stacy walks out the kitchen with a women with a clipboard and a pant suit.
I almost don't recognize Aunt Stacy, she's wearing her old clothes. The nice black cardigan mom brought her, paired with a flowy white top, fitted blue jeans and black boots. Her hair, long and brown is in a dainty braid going to the side.
"Hey Baby girl, how was school?" She says giving me a hug and motioning me to the couch.
She smells like the perfume I got her about three years ago.
"You remember Ms. Joan?" She smiles to me.
"My social worker, right?" I choke out.
"Yes, and from what I hear everything is good?" Ms. Joan says
No.
"Yes." I nod "Perfectly fine."
"And Stacy, you haven't relapsed with your drinking?"
"No ma'am, sober four years now." She falsely brags. "I think since the situation the only thing keeping me together is Stephanie, she's my life. "
"What's wrong darling?" Joan leans over grabbing my hand.
"What are you talking about?" I say and my voice is hoarse. I feel my face and a few tears rolled down and I'm hot.
"Oh nothing." I whisper "My allergies are really bad around the end of September."
"Aww baby go wash your face." Aunt Stacy grips my hand a bit then pats it.
As I walk away Joan scribbles something on her clipboard and resumes talking to my aunt and asking questions.
The moment I close the down and I turn the water on I'm bawling my eyes out. Is me lying for her ever going to help me in the long run? I have the prime opportunity to just get this part of my life to stop.
On the downside what if they take me away, I'm moved from here and Eli and Aunt Stacy stops getting her checks for me. She starts doing worse than drinking and hurts herself behind repair. That's another burden I don't need.
I splash my face with water and l return to the living room.
Joan motions me into the kitchen and we leave Aunt Stacy on the couch tidying up.
"How are you Steph?" Joan smiles as I sit across from her.
"Good."
"How's school?"
"School is school."
"Many friends?"
"I guess."
"Your twelfth to fourteenth year wasn't the best, how are you doing now?"
"I'm okay, Joan" I whisper
"Steph." She breathes cupping my hands "You don't have to act in front of me, Steph people like you aren't just okay after you circumstance."
"My circumstance?" I scoffed.
"Yes, I can see you scars Stephanie, I see your bruises, I know school is not fine, your aunt is not sober I can see the bottles stuffed under the couch, you where contently molested and attemptedly raped less than two years ago, and overall just four years ago your family was-"
"Shut up." I say through grit teeth
"Steph I can hel-"
"Help with what??"
"NOTHING IS WRONG!" I scream "You don't know anything! And I want you to leave!"
"Steph you being irrationa-"
"Joan leave."
"Steph-" She coos
"LEAVE!"
Without further words she gets up. She talks to Stacey and I know she's gone when I hear her car pull off.
"She said your outburst has her worried and she'll be checking on us every week." She says calmly.
"Don't mess this-"
"I should have told her." I say lowly "Should have told her every fucked up thing you do."
"Every. Single. Thing." I hiss
"Tell them how your a washed up drunk who knows she's nothing and takes it out on her niece who 'fucked up her life' when you just have a poor choice in men." Ball up my fist and get in her face. "Your nothing without me Stacey, that's the only reason you wont kill me."
"You're nothing with out me." She says gritting her teeth.
She starts to grabs my arm harshly and yanking me with exasperation up the stairs to the attic (my bedroom).
She throws me on the old wooden floor and the door swiftly slams behind her. Shortly the sound of lock after lock latching from behind the door fills the hollow space. I look up to see the only window in my space is boarded up and bolted to the bordering.
How long has she been planning to make this a retribution?
***
Tonight was one of the biggest storms I've heard. The sound of rain slamming on the old roof complimented by the the striking blue electric spark discharging into the atmosphere followed by the explosive sound of the thunder don't have it's same emotional therapy.
It doesn't sound nor feel light and airy like I make every storm seem.
But it can't feel like it because I'm not feeling it.
I'm isolated by rows of stained plywood sheets and on the outside looking in onto the storm, it doesn't have it's security.
It feels like I'm going to lose everything, similar to the storm that fell onto me when I did.
As the thunder booms like the clash of armor, when the lightning pierced the night sky on the rolling battlefields that was the black-silk clouds as they go from day to midnight.
My only choice?
To sit and listen because nothing is or will ever be in my control.
-
Author's Note
Sorry It's Kinda Short, Next Chapter Will Be Longer.
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