Somewhere in Arizona. 23:58.
sat, with her legs crossed, one over the other, listening intently to their conversation. ears perked, body on edge, confused as to the whereabouts of her new surroundings.
outside, it looked indescribable: indecipherable. she couldn't possibly place a name to the location. so foreign and new and bizarre.
the heat had sunk heavily into the dim atmosphere; a burning amber had settled into the small mounds and crests that lay beyond her vision, as she looked out of the window, in her periphery. dusty orange swam a length through the blazing horizon. it was a beautiful juxtaposition; the black of the night sky to the line of reddish-gold that sat, all ablaze, beneath it.
new territory. stepping into the unknown for what felt like the thousandth time.
hot. underneath her collar, sweat perspiring and gathering below her neck, sleeves rolled up, bare legs. hair cascaded casually over her right shoulder.
baekhyun and chanyeol sat on opposite sides of the large, glass coffee table resting between them, each respectively on the huge sofas that had been placed parallel to one another. roma noticed a finished bottle of red wine centred in the middle of the polished glass. noticed baekhyun eyeing it in a suspecting manner.
stained scarlet marks, drops of red, across the clear, glazed surface. missed the glass, or something. missed his lips. maybe. only imperfection visible in the spotless space. the heat was already getting to her. it was late, anyway, and...she didn't know. couldn't think straight.
chanyeol was reclined. he looked extremely comfortable, like he was used to this. and roma supposed he perhaps knew this sort of setting all too well. one leg was folded, crossed over the other, shorts exposing his long and deeply tanned legs. white shirt draped over his wide shoulders but thinned torso, arms outstretched around the back of the sofa.
baekhyun almost mirrored him, except:
he was sat slightly forward, shoulders hunched, his body seemingly ready for any situation or occurrence that was going to be thrown at him. t-shirt and jeans and long hair falling forward over his blackened eyes. hands folded, interlocked, resting on his poised knees, jutting forward against the coffee table.
and roma looked relaxed, too. but wasn't. she wasn't stressed, either. an odd state of mind; where everything seemed to be slowly flitting and filtering from her brain, like a stream of confusion, ebbing and flowing. not relaxation, but not deprivation.
their soft chatter, friendly and murmuring, was comfortable for her ears to listen to. background noise.
"are you still as big of a drinker?" chanyeol's voice laughed, bellowing slightly louder, catching her attention.
roma watched for baekhyun's reaction. her mouth and throat craved something cold and alcoholic. a bottle of wine seeming ever-so tempting.
"ha," baekhyun replied, equally as casually and under his breath.
not making eye contact with roma. looking down.
"nah, not as much anymore," he responded, tilting his vision upwards and forwards. a light and somewhat awkward laugh accompanied his answer. averting gazes.
like he did with all of the others, he exchanged a look that could only possibly be comprehended on a whole other level; a message that transformed through the static, electric glances, each twitch producing a different signal. missing her.
roma sighed to herself. but they couldn't hear her.
"shame, man. not that there are any good parties in this deserted shithole, anyway," chanyeol spoke abruptly, a large smirk still hitched up into the corner of his mouth.
"yeah," baekhyun agreed, nodding his head slightly.
he locked gaze with roma momentarily.
then, back to chanyeol.
"how the fuck did you get this place, anyway?" baekhyun enquired. "it's so nice, man."
his chin tilted backwards, upward glancing, marvelling at the massive expanse of perfected ceiling; swivelling in his seated position, taking in all of the glass ornaments decked out on the table-tops, and at the pristine arrangement of flowers, and at the intricately-designed ashtray, sat atop the wide television.
roma's lips formed an 'o' shape as she gaped in awe at the glamorous aura that the modern setting gave off.
"luck. and, i don't know, guess i just knew the right people," chanyeol laughed softly and deeply, revelling in the apparent astonishment on both of their faces. "guess that's how it goes in life, you know."
that seemed a very vague answer, and roma knew that there was obviously more to it than that. it truly was a beautiful house, though. roma was jealous. and, yet, there was something off about the whole place. like, a mansion so clean and tidy and glamorous couldn't possibly just belong only to this young man, chanyeol. he appeared to be a similar age to baekhyun.
they were all in this world. young men surrounded by a suspicious but obvious amount of wealth. roma had pondered over where all of baekhyun's money came from many times. she remembered a past conversation; it was in lyon and it had been dark but the stars had been twinkling, and he'd explained briefly and vaguely what he did for a living.
but roma couldn't really remember exactly.
roma could only guess, because her throat was dry, and her tongue felt incapable of speech, and she wasn't about to blurt out and interrupt whatever was going on.
"it's so nice," he repeated. "seems pretty comfortable," baekhyun nodded slowly, putting his two hands together. "how long are you here for?"
tense.
a switch.
unnoticeable; but a slight dimming. from deep orange to dark orange. orange. like flames; like fame; like the images of fire that plagued her vision, that danced around her periphery, that striped the landscape beyond her horizon. that burned the same hue that the discrete moon did.
"until it gets better," chanyeol replied simply. "same as you."
he looked straight at roma this time. it wasn't an accusing stare, not at all. it was more of an odd mixture of recognition and wanting to understand more. roma looked back at him.
chanyeol had beautiful features, too. a slender nose split his perfect face in two, bronzed cheek bones protruding from his glistening skin. dark and darting eyes were framed with thick eyelashes and bushy eyebrows. messy, dark hair fell forward. a thin line of pink lips were pursed, in preparation for his next movement. ready for retorting with a witty and mysterious answer.
baekhyun was quiet.
mellow, like the deep slumber of the hills and canyons.
"does she...?" chanyeol began, only to be immediately cut off. confusion.
"yeah. don't worry, it's fine. you can talk," baekhyun interjected sharply.
roma could feel the hole in her chest expanding.
chanyeol stared at for one, two, three seconds. he then turned his attention back to baekhyun and his cold, hard stare. contrasting to the heated temperatures that surrounded and enveloped them.
"oh, yeah. i mean, yeah, jongdae told me something about it--"
"you've been in contact with jongdae?" baekhyun interrupted. his voice wasn't aggressive, just sharp and commanding.
this side of him scared her, sometimes.
why did it matter whether he had or not?
"nah, not really. he just called me a couple of weeks ago, i think it was. he just told me what was going on, and stuff."
baekhyun's mind seemed to be buzzing; cogs whirring, his brain hard at work. piecing the broken puzzle pieces together. making sense of it all.
"but...you didn't feel anything? you couldn't figure out what was happening without jongdae telling you?" baekhyun demanded from chanyeol.
chanyeol appeared more relaxed than roma could comprehend. her whole body ached with nerves and fear and curiosity and the constant reminder that she could never be a part of this.
"i mean, baekhyun..." chanyeol started, moving his legs around, starting to look nervous and uncomfortable for the first instance of their interaction. he gulped visibly. "you know why me and kyungsoo came here...there was a good reason for it."
baekhyun tensed. jutted shoulders and heaving chest.
"yes, i understood that, of course. but, like...i didn't think it had stopped."
"it hasn't stopped. not completely, anyway. it's just, the rest of you all got away, yeah, but you all stayed kind of close."
baekhyun breathed heavily.
"we were all apart for a while. all in different places and countries, like we'd agreed," baekhyun spoke dryly, with trepidation, roma noticed the slight and sideways glance he threw her way. "but, then, i'm not sure. things got complicated, and kai had to leave london, so he came to stay with me and minseok for a while."
chanyeol seemed to be hanging onto every word that was uttered from baekhyun's mouth. as was roma. she, too, was attempting to piece every single piece of information given to her together.
kai and sehun had been in lyon when she first met them; they'd never spoken of their previous residences or of occupations or of anything like that. and, then, jongdae. in monaco. but they'd said that that place had been their house, and not just his.
minseok, in berlin. baekhyun said they'd used to stay and live together. the two had been more than comfortable; as if they had been completely used and adjusted to each other's behaviours and mannerisms. but, how long ago had that been when they shared an apartment? roma had never thought to ask, until now.
everything was inter-linked. everything needed to be laid out and fixed into one solidified answer. roma had an inkling that that wasn't going to happen any time soon.
she uncrossed her legs, releasing them from her arm's grip, and swung them over the large window sill. drew attention to herself, slightly. unintentionally. two pairs of ever-darkening eyes looked her way for a few seconds. returned to their intense conversation.
"yeah. i mean, i figured that that was what happened," chanyeol worded slowly. he leant further back into the couch.
electrical currents. transmission. the thin, white line connecting their two beating hearts, over and across the shaking coffee table.
roma felt as though she was being sucked in.
suddenly, it stopped.
baekhyun turned to face her, over his shoulder. she felt herself visibly shudder, but she tried to force a small smile, to show him that she was okay.
he held his outstretched arm out for her, beckoning her to him.
roma couldn't help her own nervous nature, eyeing chanyeol to see his reaction; whether he was staring, inquiring, or unhappy with their whole situation. she got up, edging carefully towards the sofa that baekhyun was sat on, seating herself beside him.
immediately, her posture melted into his hold, his hand scratching circles into her back, comforting her on purpose. roma wished--wished more than anything--that she would eventually be able to relax; to be not wary of others views or of the way she was sat, or the way in which the perception of her was moulded.
"it all got a bit much, yeah," baekhyun sighed deeply, massaging her left shoulder. taking out his energy onto the soft and padded feel of her warm skin.
chanyeol seemed to be configuring; looking down at a blank spot on the floor. not a distraction, but a way of trying to find answers to his questions.
"jongdae mentioned something about all of us re-grouping."
baekhyun's fingers pressed just slightly harder into her skin. she winced, but made sure that baekhyun couldn't tell or see. roma didn't like the effect that chanyeol's speech produced.
"but, we haven't..."
chanyeol stared at baekhyun. his long features looked as though they had been drawn out.
"yeah, we--"
"we haven't done that in almost five years. we never had to before."
roma felt chanyeol's eyes burning into her slumped posture. her eyes were elsewhere; her mind was stuck in this current moment in time.
chanyeol shrugged.
"it may be the only way to really figure out what the fuck is going on," he spoke, enunciating the expletive in a stressed manner. making sure that the baekhyun understood the gravity and depth of which he was speaking.
roma knew. baekhyun knew better.
"i'll call him tomorrow," was all that he could respond.
it finalised and put a full-stop to the conversation.
let go of his grip on her.
roma felt the surge of electricity subsiding from his touch. she bravely, in front of chanyeol, placed her hand on baekhyun's inner-thigh. to show him that, whatever happened, whatever was going to happen, she was there.
she thought that baekhyun forgot that sometimes.
"cool," chanyeol said casually, hoisting himself up.
baekhyun squeezed her hand back.
"anyone for a drink?" he offered, that mischievous trace that roma had already identified playing on his lips.
baekhyun let out a light laugh.
"why not."
he removed his hand from hers, as chanyeol disappeared through the huge, looming doorway into the kitchen.
//
so sorry omg
haven't updated in so long ! i hope you liked this update :) and that you can forgive me for being a shitty author.
love, em x