09
{ the girl, hopeful. }
-
' s h e
w h o
r e m e m b e r s '
- -
A NEW DAY ARRIVES.
"Good morning," is the first thing Esen says as she wakes up in his arms. He smells like pine forests, feels like home even though Esen has been through a century forgetting that place. But she is not referring to that home of marble and gold, with celestial thrones and a father that has punished her for loving. Home is her and Zeref snuggled together in blankets, watching shooting stars streak the sky overhead.
"Did you sleep well?" he asks and she can never tire of that kindness in his voice. He's easily breathtaking as he brushes a stray lock of her hair from her face.
Esen nods ans hauls herself to a sitting position. "Thank you for being my pillow."
"Thank you for being my blanket," he responds and she flares pink, thinking of how she was splayed all over him like a blanket. Their skins touching, her hand clutching his so tightly, afraid to have him leave.
She smiles and they found themselves staring at each other. Esen can easily get lost in those eyes. She feels the thrum of her heart underneath her ribcage and her eyes are suddenly attracted to the curve of his lips and how they would probably be soft when pressed against hers. She feels him drawing closer, hypnotized.
But then Esen pulls back. "We-We shouldn't," she says, there's fear lingering in her eyes. "The curse... it might get triggered by a... kiss..."
Esen loves him truly, so she will not risk her life like this. She recognizes the disappointment on his face and she feels ashamed. Mortification claims the cells of her body and she stumbles away from him. She is the water that will drown him. Love him, but not too close to hurt. Love him, but protect him from your love. She promises that she won't lose him ever again.
"I'm sorry," she mumbles, stands up quickly. "I'll go get us food."
"No, wait, Esen," Zeref stands up too and tries to grab her arms, but she flees quickly. "You need to rest."
She looks back for a brief moment and smiles at him. "I'll be alright," she says. "Just wait here."
She spends the rest of the morning finding berries and fruits. She stumbles across deers, but she can't find it in her to lay a hand on the magnificent creatures. She gathers some water from a nearby river and fills the containers she got.
She does her best and before the afternoon, she has enough provisions for the both of them. Maybe she should really get some meat, but she can't hunt those defenseless creatures. She closes her eyes and looks to the water. She dips a free hand on the cool surface. Maybe she should fish. With her magic, it wouldn't be difficult.
And she'd have a lesser conscience if t was with fish. Alright then. She stores the water she gathered and the berries on dry land, covering them with a huge leaf she got from one of the ancient trees.
Esen submerges her waist down to the water and concetrates on the ebb and flow of it around her. She dips her hands and tries to feel for anything moving in it. Maybe they could cook the fish over fire and sprinkle some herbs for extra flavor.
Esen closes her eyes, forgets everything around her except for the water. And she searches.
And finds nothing. Esen opens her eyes and sighs. Now she's damp with riverwater and—
Her eyes widen. The smell of fire lingers on her nose. She looks at the forest behind her and realizes that it is burning. Red flames are reaching the skies and smoke is enveloping the atmosphere. Zeref, she thinks as she walks toward the ground.
Oh Gods, she'll lose him.
"Think," Esen whispers to herself. She has to do something. She looks around, spots the river.
Esen dips her palm to the river water and she commands it. First, she starts with minuscule amounts and then she adds more. Esen twists it until there is a torrent of water circling around her like a gigantic hurricane. She whirls it toward the forest fire, splashing water wherever she goes. She gets more water from the river and it continues to flow like rivers do.
Esen wields it, like the god she is and the flames begin receding. The flames lessen and the smoke continues to rise up. The hurricane fades and droplets of water are falling on the forest floor. Some trees had been uprooted, and there is ash covering the ground, but Esen ignores it and calls for Zeref.
Frantic, she breathes in some of the remaining smoke. She covers her mouth with her hand and coughs. She can't lose him. Gods, she can't. Not when they're just beginning, unpeeling layers of masks that they've hidden under. Not when she's just starting to cherish every moment they step together.
Oh Father, why are you so cruel?
More smoke. It almost blinds her, but she persists. And she starts screaming for his name. Tears are escaping her eyes. Not again.
"Zeref!" she screams. Another cough racks through her body.
Gods, she will hold him close and savor all the moments she has with him. She'll hug him and tell him what she feels.
"Just give him back to me, please," she whispers, a gentle prayer offered to her father.
"Esen!" she hears his voice and it is like a drop of water in the barrren desert.
"Zeref!" she says, her mouth parted and he crosses the distance between them, pulling her into an embrace.
"I'm glad you're safe," he murmurs and caresses her face, small cracks present on his voice. "I don't know what I would have done if I lost you."
"I..." she says, awestruck by the affection gushing forth from his voice. "I thought that you were disappearing too and I was scared."
Another cough escapes her body from all the smoke that she's inhaling and Zeref holds her close to him as he leads her out of the forest. They settle under a clearing and he gives her water, wiping the ash that had stuck to her face with a damp cloth.
"Esen..."
She looks up to meet him.
"I'm sorry..." he says. "For trying to kiss you."
"W-What...?"
"I should have respected your boundaries," he says.
"It's alright," she answers back. "And thank you for the water."
He smiles at her and he's easily the most beautiful creature in this planet. He pushes back some of her hair that was sticking to her face and continues to wet her face with the damp cloth.
"I saw what you did with the water," he says. "You saved that forest, those animals. It was... amazing."
Esen smiles. "Magic is amazing," she says. "I just wish there was a way for it to save us from this curse. I'm so sorry that I can't find a solution."
He shakes his head. "Esen, I'm grateful, to be with you here, never apologize for things that you have no control over." He looks into her eyes. "We'll get through this. Together."
When she sleeps, she thinks back to the days of her blaming herself, to those days of treading the path of eggshells the accursed cycle has made her live. She realizes that it's not her fault, that life is impermanent, and she just has to savor the moment. Esen refuses to just exist, she chooses to live. And living means being with him and doing all these crazy, wonderful things that crush her boundaries.
They lay under the canopy of stars, not a word, just their breathing and a line still hasn't been drawn so Esen will savor this moment of peace with him. They look at each other, tracing constellations and universes in the images of each other's eyes. There is a certain warmth on the point where their hands are interlaced and Esen draws closer.
"Esen..." he breathes and traces her cheekbones with her palms. She draws closer and she is bracing herself for a cosmic collision. "You said..."
"I love you," she whispers, their foreheads touching. " And I'm no longer afraid..."
And she pulls him toward him. Esen forgets to breathe and their lips meet.
-
e n d.
[ thank you for reading chained flowers. ]
c o m i n g:
10 | "the boy, cursed."