"I'm fine sweetheart. Harry meet Aliv, Aliv this is Harry Styles." I sniffled as I introduced my daughter to Harry. I knew that she wouldn't actually remember or know him. Harry smiled at the two year old that was in my arms.
"Hi Aliv it is nice to meet you." He said sweetly to Aliv, who giggled and shyly put her face into my hair. I didn't know what to say to him. My mind was blank, my throat dry, and there were no more words to say. I shifted Aliv's weight in my arms and held her tight. It is what I usually do when I am in uncomfortable situations.
"Hi." She finally said looking at him smiling. That's when I saw his eyes shift to her dimples. Did he think she is his?
"How old are you love?" He asked her as he started to take my daughter out of my arms. I realized after he did this that he was questioning her.
"I am two, and my baby brother isn't born yet." She informed him as he started to laugh. I started to smile. This is was how I always imagined how this moment would be, Harry holding our daughter and the connection they will have. Even though she isn't his I can already see that he is protective of her.
"That is awesome. Aliv what is your favorite color?" He proceeded to ask my two year old daughter questions that seemed to brighten up her day.
"My favorite color is orange!" Aliv yelled excitedly. She looked at him and took his face in her hands. She then looked over his face with a very serious face. Aliv usually didn't interact with other people. I was too stunned to even say anything. "You have dimples like I do and like mommy." She finished as her lit up.
"I'm sorry Harry, she usually doesn't do things like this." I started to apologize for her. It was the first thing I have said to him in over five minutes. He turned to look at me. I saw the confusion in his eyes. I shook my head, No. I saw the happiness that Aliv brought to him, immediately leave him. 'I'm sorry.' I mouthed to him so that Aliv didn't notice the silent conversation that was being taken place between us. I felt the tears start to drip. This was too much for one day, especially in my condition.
"Mr. Harry, do you have a girlfriend?" Aliv asked unexpectedly.
"Aliv that's not a polite question to ask someone," I scowled. "Apologize to Harry."
"I'm sorry Mr. Harry." Aliv said as her face turned into a pout.
"It's okay love. But please call me Uncle Harry." He said sweeping her curls out of her face. That's when he got a clear look at her eyes. The exact same crystal blue eyes like Connor. That's when I saw the hurt cloud his eyes. He figured out I was still with Connor.
*Flashback*
"El, why wont you let me touch you?" Harry asked as he took off his shirt before going into our bed.
"Just because. I don't like to be touched." I responded simply.
"But you let Liam touch you." He counteracted my defense. Harry was all about the games and this game was fought using the mind.
"Liam is my best friend. He only gives me hugs and then he helped me after surgery. It was nothing."
"Yeah boo boo bear. Nothing." He came closer as I began to shrink away. "Come here, let me snuggle with you love."
"Harry stop." I said has sharp as I can.
"El please, the monsters scare me," He whispered into my ear as he began to kiss my neck, leaving love bites. Although I didn't want it to a small moan escaped my lips. I sighed. "You like this don't you."
"Harry, please stop." I begged him to stop. All I could think back was to that day, exactly a week before I left him, my ex boyfriend, Connor. I used all of my might and pushed the very built Harry off of me. "Harry I told you stop!" I yelled at him.
"El, what is wrong with you tonight?" He yelled back.
"I JUST DON'T LIKE TO BE TOUCHED!" I screamed at him, I couldn't take it anymore.
"El, shhh, calm down babe." He said as he took me into his arms as I began to crash to the floor. I reluctantly stayed there. "Just tell me what's wrong love. I'll make it okay. I promise you."
"Connor." I began.
"Your ex boyfriend?"
"He. Used. To. Hit. Me." I chocked out.
"El, I will never do that to you. I promise you." He said seriously looking into my eyes.
"Youuu prom, pro,missssse." I stuttered through.
"I promise." Harry said kissing my wet cheek.
*End of Flashback*
"El, you can't be." He began he began to swing Aliv back in forth in his arm.
"I'm sorry." I looked at him, then I looked past Harry to see another familiar shape walking towards us.
"Hey Harry! Where did you go off to?" I heard Liam's voice ring out. Luckily we were in a secluded place so no, and I mean, no fans could see us.
"Liam, I was walking out of the bathroom when this little kitten came running out of the bathroom."
"And does this little kitten have a name?" Liam started to laugh at the name.
"Liam, meet Aliv." Harry introduced Aliv to him. Aliv being the shy one she is started to bury her face into Harry's chocolate brown curls.
"And who's daughter is she?" Liam asked in full Daddy Direction mode.
"El's." Harry whispered as he turned to face me. I just stared at the ground ashamed of what I did to Liam. Just leaving like that, it was wrong. I should have told him that I was going, to tell him I was safe.
"El, is that really you?" He asked me in disbelief he walked by Harry and took me in his arms. "I've missed you boo boo bear." He kissed my forehead as I started to giggle and cry a little more. He took my hand and we walked a few feet away from Harry and Aliv.
"I've missed you too Daddy Direction." I said poking him in the stomach.
"Wow El, you are pregnant. REALLY pregnant." He said in shock as he put his hands gently on my stomach.
I looked down, I have always been selfconsious of being pregnant. "Yeah, I guess you could say that..." I mumbled.
"What was that dear?" He asked not hearing what I said.
"I said, 'Yeah, I guess you can say that.'" I said quietly as I slowly lifted my head.
"El, there is no need for tears love." He laughed as he began to wipe away the tears from my face.
"Its just that I missed you so much." I hugged him again. "I am so sorry for everything I put you through. And I don't want you to hate me anymore. And I-" I couldn't finish my sentence, the sobs took over my body.
"El, calm down. I don't hate you. You had every right to leave, I just wished that you told me where you were going. I thought you were dead for a week! But here and now we see pictures of you in those silly magazines and on the Internet. I never know if you are doing okay. I just miss my best friend." He said as his hug became deeper. I slowed my breathing enough to pull away and look at my best friend, my Liam. I looked at Aliv and Harry, who looked like were having a very deep conversation.
"I got your shirt all wet." I pointed out sorrowful.
"It's okay. It is just water, it will all dry." Liam shrugged it off. "So I was reading a book the other day and the character of the story reminded me so much of you."
"Oh really?" I said sitting on the near by bench.
"Yup. I was quite a mind blowing story." He continued.
"What was it called?" I asked him, intrigued to maybe read this book.
Yes, I know it looks weird that we were having a conversation about a book. Yes, the inner nerd took over my brain. But what else can you do when you are seven months pregnant and you have a two year old daughter in a early childhood development class all day. I have nothing to do. Anyways..
"It doesn't have a title." He stated, I then realized that he was referring to the journal that I had left behind two years ago.
"Oh that book. Why did you read it Liam?" I gave him a harsh scowl.
"Because Harry read it when you left. We all saw how it had him possessed over you. He couldn't stop reading it. So I wanted to know why." He shrugged me off.
"Well that was private."
"El, you were the one who left it behind. It was fair game to all of us." Liam said as he took me under his arm. "Why didn't you tell me that Connor hit you?" He brought the answer nonchalantly. Liam always had a way to make an uneasy conversation so comfortable.
"Because, I didn't know it would matter."
"No one should hit you." His voice became angrier.
"No one is." I lied.
"But I assume you are with him again."
"Yeah, that's his daughter sitting on Harry's lap."
"El, you can tell you aren't happy."
"I am really happy Liam. I am just all over the place because of my mood swings and just stuff." I started to blabble again. "I am happy, trust me, please."
" I don't believe you, boo boo bear."
"I hate when you call me that." I laughed. "Ohh." I gasped as the baby kicked. I usually don't but this one was hard.
"El are you okay?" Harry asked with those worried eyes coming towards where Liam and I were sitting.
"I'm fine Hazz, he is just kicking." I said nonchalantly as I looked at my best friend who looked like he was about to put on Daddy Direction Mode on. I gave him a reassuring smile and his expression seemed to soften.
"El, where have you been!" I heard my best friends voice ring out. Oh no, how long have I been gone.
"Jean, I've been here the whole time." I met her half way walking towards her.
"Well we have all been waiting for you two. Connor is getting all mad and Jon is trying to calm him down. It isn't working."
"Aliv ran out of the bathroom and I couldn't find her. I had to ran to find her and she ran into someone-"
"And that someone was Harry Styles." She interrupted as she looked past me two the two boys that were walking up behind me.
"Yes Jean, but you can't tell Connor. He wil get so mad and you know what he does when he is mad and I can't deal with that. It has been seven months of no hitting or anything. I can't deal with it." I hissed quickly.
"You can always stay at my house tonight and I promise."
"El, we should get going now. We need to go get ready for our show tonight." Liam began as the baby kicked again and this time was really hard.
"Ouch!" I said while rubbing my tummy.
"El, did the baby kick again?" Liam asked me.
"Yeah, he did."
"Wait, did you say again?" Jean asked. "Didn't he kick when we walked into the fair?"
"Yes, and he kicked this morning a couple of times, then they were getting closer. It's nothing." I tried to shrug her off, it happened before. All of a sudden I felt warm water start to drip down my leg. Did I really just pee myself? Is it because of being pregnant that my bladder is that small?
"El, I think-" Liam began but was interrupted by Aliv who asked,
"Mommy did you pee yourself?" I looked wide eyed at Jean.