I remained awake after Samil had his fill. My eyes dry and opened, staring at the metal framed ceiling of the trailer. The water from the spouted bin dripped against the floor. Echos from the late party continued outside.
A snore escaped the man beside me. I shuffled out of the sheets and quietly slipped back into the sheer dress. I shivered in the cold, tucking my arms around my bare breasts as best I could.
It still rained outside. I muttered in disappointment as I made my way towards the performers' trailer. I knocked gently against the metal doors. It opened revealing a delicate full framed woman. Her pink lips glowed in a grin against her dark skin. "You're here!" She cheered wrapping me in her warm embrace. My body fell limp against her. Instantly she understood.
"Artin!" She called out.
A scrawny peppered hair man approached us. His quick scamper slowed to a stop as he spotted me collapsed against Mirna's arms.
I cried silently as the others in bed rustled awake.
"Let's get you cleaned up," Mirna whispered. Artin nodded in agreement, as he hurried towards my bunk to gather new clothes.
Once hidden behind the make shift divider of the trailer, I stood over the plastic basin sink. Mirna behind me shuffled preparing water and towels. "Sit." She stated. I did as told.
My bare body sat cold on the plastic chair, my eyes glued to Mirna's tethered skirt. She carefully twisted a towel over me, cool water flowed. I watched as the mud and sweat washed off, and seeped through the hammered holes on the ground.
"Dandra and I were talking today..." Mirna whispered.
I sat silent.
"We could find a way for you to leave..."
I looked up through my wet hair. "I can't" I croaked.
Mirna moved her skirt to the side, bending down at me. Her brown eyes looked deep into me. "You must."
~*~
Artin sat on my bed, his hands gently tending to the bruises on my wrist. He rarely spoke. A silent old man, for reasons I did not know.
"Were the animals good tonight?" I whispered.
He smiled.
"And Invidia?"
The man chuckled softly.
"I figured. She's never good to her elephant."
Artin snapped a look up at me.
"Your elephant." I corrected.
He nodded as he carefully placed my hands on my lap. I kissed his cheeks as thanks, and tried my hardest to sleep through the night.
Unfortunately, sleep never came. The sun seeped through the cracks of the metal trailer. A loud knock soon followed.
"Wake up." Samil yelled. "We're leaving."
As demanded the men and women in the trailer awoken, their groans of displeasure escaped their sleepy lips. I too followed.
The sun had barely peeked through the horizon as we all began to pack our tent away. The performers and workers became a well oiled machine. Samil would be proud.
Some took down ropes of our ash white tent, some began to stack chairs and tables away, while the others tended to the animals. I had just finished strapping loose furniture and equipment down in our trailer when Dandra approached me. Her hands red from pulling the cubs into their cages. "One day, I'll set them free." She whispered up at me.
I chuckled in reply. "As you should."
She shrugged. "Once the Little Doll, looses her charm and Mr. Samil won't want me around, I'll take those bears with me."
I sat down on the trailer steps. "I like it."
"Me too. Me too."
We remained sitting, staring out into the orange sky. "Do you think the next crowd will be nice?" I whispered.
Dandra shrugged, "They're all terrible. Nothing seems too warm and fuzzy these days."
I curled the side of my mouth. "I suppose."
She placed her hand on top of mine. "He's coming here," She whispered. "Be careful."
The ring leader stood above us, one leg brought up against my step. He leaned down on his knee, his breath too close for comfort. "Ride with me," He demanded. I stood up.
"Yes Samil."
~*~
I sat at the edge of his mattress, the rough fur blanket scratched my thighs.
"We shouldn't be too far away from the next audience," He stated, as he tried to balance with the moving vehicle. "But at this rate if Manuel doesn't drive slower we'll die before then."
I forced a giggle. He smiled in satisfaction, sitting down beside me.
"Do you think the next place will be nice?" I asked.
He laughed a deep roar. "Nice? Darling, who cares!"
My shoulders slumped forward. His hands lifted my chin up in response.
"Song bird, it doesn't matter what the towns are like...as long as you keep singing and please the customers, we will always have a roof over our heads and food on our plates."
"I understand."
He squeezed my thigh too tightly. "And maybe, if you're extra good I'll find you something special?"
I weakly smiled. "You're too sweet, but I don't want you to trade anything to get something for me."
He pressed his lips against my neck. "I like how little you need - but don't fret darling, I didn't say I'd trade anything." He chuckled.
"Don't steal."
The ring leader pulled away. His hands tight around my wrist. "You don't want my gifts?"
I squirmed against him. "I appreciate what you do g-"
"Darling, I know. But sometimes it doesn't seem like it."
"I'm sorry..."
"I don't want you to say you're sorry. I just want to feel like you're truly grateful for what I have given you."
I nodded nervously. "I am, Samil."
He frowned, his hand grabbing my face. "Are you? Because I have done so much for you. Do you remember?"
"I do."
"I picked you up from the street, you were so cold. So young. So alone. But I could tell that you were worth so much. I just couldn't imagine how your life must have been like before the nukes hit. You seemed so broken. But when you sing, oh my song bird it was magical, I knew you were special. I knew you were mine. I'd do anything for you."
His dark eyes looked into me, black make up still stained his lips. I watched as his jaw clenched impatiently waiting for me to respond. I took a deep breath as a rehearsed smile spread across my face - the one he loved. He sighed in relief, bringing my stiff body close to him. I shook. Whether or not it was from the potholes or his touch, I did not know.
"Darling, take these off." He tugged at my trousers.
I tugged back. "Maybe later?"
His soft face grew stern, but he quickly tried to recover. "Darling...'
I shook my head. "Later? Please?"
A sharp pain stung my cheeks. My sight fogged with tears. Suddenly the hand that struck me was around my throat. "I won't say it again."
I whimpered as my hands found my front button. Samil let my neck free to let his hands find their way to my hips. With a quick thrust he threw me against his bed.
Thankfully, the vehicle slowed to a stop. Samil groaned in frustration, pressed his lips against mine and stood up. "Another time then, darling...You can leave now."
I did.
~*~
The ground in this area was much softer than the last few. The air felt lighter as well. I stared out into what appeared to be an old town. It's building smaller than most I had seen, some windows were boarded with wood paneled doors where glass used to be, people were lively and walked along the streets. From afar appeared to be small fields of stalks. I grinned at the thought of seeing fresh corn.
"Nightingale!" Samil's driver called out to me. "Sam is asking for you."
With a sigh I made my way around the trailer to where Samil stood with Invidia. Her arms were sternly placed on her hips, her mouth tucked in a hard line.
"Darling," Samil called. Invidia's eyes rolled. "Invidia here had a great idea. She wanted me to promote the featured acts tonight to the crowds in town."
"Just my featured act - " Invidia interrupted.
Samil growled under his breath. "Won't you wear your best dress and come along?"
I rubbed my bare feet together. "Whatever you need, Samil."
"That's my girl." He smiled, forcing his lips on top of mine. With a slight twist he turned my body, and I didn't see but I understood his movement. His lips against mine for Invidia to see.