Her's
••• What Once Was •••
tell me all the important stuff,
what's your favourite colour?
what makes you so tough?
please don't let me go when you've had enough
•••••
Woo yay chapter twenty!! We're still not even halfway!!! Oh god what have I done!!!!!!!
Tw: mentions of: dead animals, dead body & blood. yn does her best at catastrophising
My agitated fingers fiddled with the dragon pendant at my neck while I sat glumly upon the couch, Lloyd to my right and Simon lounging on the single-seater across the living room.
I was exhausted - I had an awful, interrupted sleep, was subjected to a migraine, learnt that my powers could be fatal and that my new friends the ninja (and not-official-boyfriend) were all immortal demigods. It was twenty-four hours of monumental bombshells, and I was too tired to deal with my snobby cousin who always had a stick up his ass. The last thing I wanted to do was something ridiculous like being polite and cordial towards someone who didn't deserve it.
But Lloyd was polite and cordial enough for the both of us. He had more experience than I with an unwanted audience so the boys held a conversation, though I didn't pay attention to most of it. Every so often I'd catch Simon pressing a little too insistently with a question, but I didn't care enough to listen. I sat there, frowning, staving off my exhaustion and counting the minutes down until I could leave and pull Lloyd along with me.
"You are a very interesting specimen, Lloyd Garmadon," Simon noted. He leant forward, perched upon the edge of his seat as though intrigued to the highest degree, and his piercing yellow eyes seemed to dissect Lloyd's relaxed form.
I laid my head against the top of the couch's backrest and aimed my closed eyes at the ceiling with the kanzashi in my lap. He's so fucking weird.
"Stop being creepy," I muttered. It then occurred to me that Simon knew Lloyd's last name without us having told him - but really, aside from my own earlier cluelessness, that wasn't abnormal. It seemed as though everyone other than me already knew who Lloyd was. I grabbed his hand and stood. "I'm going to see if Mum needs help in the kitchen. That'll be way more entertaining than having to listen to you."
I left before he could reply to my face. Lloyd followed obediently, his amusement at my attitude rolling off of him in waves.
"Now, that's not very nice," Simon admonished at my back.
"Suck an egg, shitdick," I said loudly, before shutting the door to the lounge behind us.
Lloyd stifled a poorly-disguised snicker as I stalked to the kitchen. I turned course last minute and stomped into my bedroom instead, and he silently allowed me to steal him away. Upon reaching my room Lloyd perched on my bed and watched me pace with a grin.
"You really don't like him," he noticed. "I don't think I've ever seen you like this."
"No," I snapped. Each circle of my room was fuelled by a razing blaze of fury that took residence in my gut. "I hate him. He's an asshole, and-" my angry steps hesitated. "There's something unnerving about him. He always makes me feel so weird."
Lloyd went quiet for a touch, and the silence settled over us like a blanket of snow. My anger simmered into a tumultuous sea of uneasy despair, brain foggy with the thick clouds of a sudden offense of uncertainty. I stood on my spot and wavered. It felt as though my brain itself had buffered.
Lloyd's smirk was brittle when he finally spoke. "More unnerving than red eyes?"
My glassy eyes turned to him. "What?" Then my mind cleared and any confusing fog and tide of my cousin was washed away. I sucked in a clarifying breath. "Lloyd."
He looked away with a grimace, as if regretting his words. The familiar stench of curiosity drove me to ask - how did his eyes work? How did his fangs? How were they inherited, if they even were at all? But the dimness in Lloyd's green eyes forced the questions back down my throat. I would wait to ask them another day.
"Sorry," Lloyd muttered, still staring at the knitted threads of my duvet. His shoulders were slumped, pulled down with muted and crudely hidden despair. "Don't know where that came from."
I had an idea. Depths of insecurity so plaguing that it took root and exposed itself when his concentration slipped. It wasn't unusual. It was normal, even, to dislike a part of yourself. It was unfortunately, tragically human.
"Lloyd." I stepped forward between his knees, inserted myself into his space. My palms cradled his cheeks and turned him to face me; his eyes lidded and hiding before finally meeting mine. I bent down to kiss each of his eyelids, then a lingering press to his lips. When I pulled back to admire his pretty face, it was flushed lightly with pink. "You're beautiful."
His blush darkened. He avoided my gaze again, but this time for a different reason. His strong arms wrapped around my waist and he tugged me deeper into him. His cheek anchored itself against my stomach.
"You're just saying that..." Lloyd's soft-spoken accusation trailed off. I carded my fingers through the messy locks of blond at the crown of his head.
"Would I ever lie to you?"
He audibly swallowed. His grip loosened a tad. "... no."
"Exactly." Satisfied, I bent down to find his hidden face and stole another kiss. He hissed in a breath before chasing my lips. I kissed him until my bent legs began to burn with protest, and then kissed him some more. My legs could suffer for this. I would make them.
Lloyd's gaze was dreamy when I stepped back. They followed my movements across the room. "Where are you going?"
I stopped at my desk, delicately placed the kanzashi back into its box, and signed into my laptop. "Just pulling up something to watch until we inevitably have to deal with him again."
Lloyd huffed with slight laughter. "He's got you fuming." His amusement rose with a chuckle at my grunt of displeasure. It calmed shortly after. "He's got strange eyes."
I paused my typing, thinking back to Simon's eyes. I couldn't quite seem to remember the shade - were they green? Hazel? Maybe I just didn't pay enough attention to him. He didn't exactly deserve my attention.
I shrugged it off and unhooked my laptop from its charging cable. "Maybe. Now -" I spun back around to Lloyd with a sly grin. "- are you ready for your world to never be the same again?"
Lloyd raised his brows at my bold statement. "What's this?"
"This," I said, dropping down onto the mattress beside Lloyd, "is The Last Airbender."
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There was an unfamiliar weight on my left side when I woke the next morning. The heat was just on the cusp between comfortable and too-warm, though with the rising sun I was sure that it would soon topple across the precipice.
I shifted slightly beneath the weight. My sleep-addled brain briefly wondered if I'd retrieved my weighted blanket from my closet (it was simply too hot to use in summer) but the thought was quickly abandoned when I turned my head and my nose touched the warm arm of the body lying next to me.
My eyes fluttered open in confusion and my heart gave a startled double-beat. They were greeted by the sight of Lloyd deep in slumber, who completely disregarded the amass of mattress real estate at his back. He had instead draped half of his body along my left side, with one arm slung across my shoulders.
Lloyd's a snuggler, my barely-conscious thoughts supplied, and my heart trilled in response. I inhaled shortly. Wasn't it too early to get so flustered?
Eyelids still heavy with the remains of sleep, I blinked hard into waking. I'd never seen Lloyd asleep and I drank the sight in as though I were parched. He didn't have a face full of peace like I had assumed - a tiny wedge had been carved between his brows, as though he were worried even in his sleep. I resisted the urge to smoothen the skin out with my thumb. Did he not have a headache from frowning so much?
My foot nudged something and I glanced down. My laptop was half-closed and dead. After a rather awkward Christmas Eve dinner (and faking Lloyd's departure) we must've gotten halfway through the first season of Avatar before inevitably crashing. I was also doubly sure that I had fallen asleep far sooner than Lloyd.
I reached up to link my fingers through his hand that curled sleepily against my collarbone. My knuckle hit the dragon-shaped pendant at my throat and I forcefully pushed away any thoughts regarding the day before. I could digest everything later. Right now all I wanted to do was bask in the early morning sun with a pretty boy pressed against my side.
His breathing rhythm shifted and I knew he would wake soon. I watched as his face contorted as he pulled himself from sleep, committing the sight to memory. His dark lashes fluttered and the startling shade of green was presented to my room before turning to my waiting face and melting into a stunning shade of red. I don't think I could ever tire of watching them shift colours.
He briefly matched my earlier surprise. Neither of us were used to sharing a bed.
"Good morning, hero," I greeted. A sleepy smile pulled at Lloyd's lips.
"G'morning, sunshine," he replied, voice deep and gravelly with disuse. I tried not to let my enamoured reaction be too obvious, but the mischievous glint in his gaze told me I'd failed.
"You know you're a cuddly sleeper?" I asked, eyeing his proximity with a smirk. Lloyd wasn't fazed by my teasing and instead pulled me tighter against his crumpled shirt.
"Nope," he confessed in the same wicked deep timbre of his voice. "But I don't mind it."
My face felt as though it were aflame. I hid against his chest. "Me neither." It came out as a squeak, which was absolutely mortifying. His chuckle rolled through me like I were a rowboat upon the ocean, surfing upon his gentle swells. "You're drooling."
Lloyd swiftly rose his hand to his chin before pausing in confusion. His hand dropped back to my waist with a huff of amusement from the back of his throat.
"Got you," I quietly paraded, smug.
"Very funny."
I closed my eyes with a snicker and relaxed into his close hold. I took a meditative breath and was thrilled that my bed smelt of his weird Elemental Master scent. I could definitely get used to this - nothing to worry about, no crime-fighting, no migraine-inducing power bursts, no sharp swords or sleepwalking through the city. Just snuggled up against Lloyd, savouring the peace of a morning that the world had yet to wake to.
Morning. It was morning.
My eyes shot open. It was Christmas morning, which meant-
Lloyd quickly sat up and almost sent me toppling onto the floor. His eyes met the door just as it swung open with a joyful greeting from my mother.
"Merry christmaaaAAAAH-"
She abruptly cut her happy exclamation off with an enraged splutter. I quickly fell from my bed in an effort to put space between us, tangled within my sheets, but the damage had been done. It was obvious Lloyd had spent the night - something she wasn't aware of, something we had definitely not agreed to, and something I was absolutely not allowed to do.
"Mum!" I squeaked.
"What the hell is going on here?" Mum demanded to know, looking between Lloyd and I with unrivalled fury.
"I'm- I'm sorry-" I began to stammer, but it was no use. My mother's protectiveness was a thing to fear, and she may have had joked about it before my first date with Lloyd, but it was our most golden rule; no boys in bed.
"We didn't do anything," Lloyd said in startled assurance.
"It was an accident!" I shrilly added. "We just fell asleep!"
This probably looked so much worse to her than what it was, and I could only imagine what was going through my young mother's mind. Guilt skyrocketed through me. I couldn't blame her; she was my age when she got knocked up, and she loathed to think that the same thing would happen to me. It was difficult for her - it almost ruined her studies, and society didn't react well to teen mothers. Her one fear was that I'd make the same mistake.
My mother's gaze locked onto Lloyd, who looked about the most scared I'd ever seen him. "You-" she pointed at him with a fierce look I had never seen her adopt "- I told you to protect Y/n, not- not this! Do all Elemental Masters just do what they want?!"
Lloyd began to stammer an apology. My head was swimming with the suddenness of the last few seconds, but one thing stuck out from the mess of my mind. I gathered myself from the floor and fixed my mother with a suspicious frown.
"... how did you know Lloyd's an Elemental Master?" I asked. A sick feeling erupted within my stomach then, as multiple ill-fated theories came into fruition. "I never told you that."
Mom looked at me and exhaled a strangled huff. She opened her mouth to say something but failed upon finding the words.
"What do you know?" I asked, voice low with suspicious disbelief. "What haven't you been telling me? You knew about him this whole time?" I looked between my mum and Lloyd and a terrible thought struck me. "Did we even move back here for your job?"
Mum's sudden bashful, guilty look struck twice as hard as her anger. "When God himself tells you to get your ass back to Ninjago City, then you listen."
"What?" My head spun faster. "Uchū?" I pointed at Lloyd. "His grandfather? He spoke to you?!"
Mum fidgeted. "Our family has been intwined with his since the creation of time." As if that was an answer. "Our powers connect us."
The powers. She knew about the powers. I felt dizzy. Incredulous. I felt as though I had been slapped in the face. All this trouble and fear and pain - she could have warned me. She could have prepared me. Instead, she kept secrets from me. What more was she keeping? Why did my world suddenly have to be surrounded by secrets?
"Do you have any idea what I've been through?" I seethed. "How scared I've been?"
"Y/n-"
"You kept this from me!"
"And you kept a lot from me, too," Mum reminded firmly. "You don't speak to me anymore. Not about Lloyd, not about your powers, not about this secret world that you've been sucked into."
My eyes began to sting with frustration. "You're meant to be my mum. You're meant to tell me."
"And you're my daughter," she snapped back. "You're meant to talk to me, too."
"It goes two ways!"
"It certainly does," she said firmly. "Lloyd, go home. Your parents will be missing you." Then she turned and left, leaving me gaping at the door.
The two of us existed in my room, unspeaking. Cicadas began to buzz outside, an incessant melody of white noise amid the gentle rustle of tree leaves. It was the only sound that spoked our silence for a brief moment.
My emotions were a tumultuous mess. I was filled with regret and indignation, fighting together in my gut and trying to claim victor. Was I more guilty for shouting at my mother, or was I more offended that she had kept something this important and life-shattering from me?
The far away voices of my aunt and Simon greeted my mom. She was cheery in response, fake and hiding. I wondered if they heard our fight. They must've - it wasn't a big cottage.
A hand gently slid into mine. I wiped away my tears and turned to Lloyd, who was watching me with a concerned frown. He looked rattled, too. Things had exploded between my mother and I, and he was an unfortunate victim.
"I can stay," he offered.
His sincerity made a wobbly smile pull across my face. Understanding gleamed in his eyes - he knew what it was like to fight with his parents, and he knew how rattling it could be. My fingers squeezed his.
"Actually, can you take me somewhere else?" I shyly asked. His nod was immediate and, after helping me sneak through the house, we mounted his dragon and took to the sky.
My eyes burned as I held myself to Lloyd's back. I pressed my face against his shirt, but that didn't stop the tears. The reality had settled in, and with it brought a magnitude amount of despair. I couldn't believe we had a shouting match right in front of Lloyd. I couldn't believe we had a shouting match at all.
The things she kept from me. The things I kept from her...
When did we get so unaligned?
We landed on a low lip of the Alps, on a spot tall enough to look out over the city but not as high as the first clumps of the unmelting snow caps. Lloyd was silent as he watched me take a seat on the edge of the cliff face. I couldn't even marvel at the view - my head was too busy, my eyes distracted.
"Merry Christmas," I muttered while drawing my knees into my chest. Lloyd took a seat beside me. "I'm sorry you had to see that."
His answer was a small shrug. "Disagreements with parents are a natural thing. Not everyone can exist so smoothly. How else are we meant to learn?"
"We've never fought like that before," I murmured. "I can't believe she kept that from me. And she knew who you are!"
"Oh..." Lloyd shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah - she, uh - she confronted me a few weeks back about that. She told me that she talked to Uchū."
My eyes shot to him. Disbelief tore another hole through my stomach. "What?"
Lloyd raised his palms in a placating manner. "I thought she would've told you. It was before you figured out who I was and..." he guiltily winced. "I forgot about it, honestly."
"My mom spoke to a dead guy and you forgot?"
"You think that's the weirdest thing I've heard?" Lloyd said in strained jest. "That's my average Thursday."
I dropped my head back with a weary sigh. The sky was a shocking colour of blue, but even that couldn't lift my spirits. Lloyd's hopeful smile fell.
"I'm sorry," he said.
I shook my head imperceptibly. "It's not your fault. You already have so much going on." I sighed again. "It's just- mom and I always told each other everything. With my dad so busy all the time, it's always just been us. But ever since we moved here we've been keeping secrets."
Lloyd stared out at the view. "Things would be easier if elemental masters didn't have to live in secrecy. I wouldn't have to make you keep my secret from your friends and family."
"That's not your fault, either," I mumbled. He opened his arm for a hug and I took the opportunity to fall into his chest. "Things are just complicated and I'm- I'm in over my head."
"If it makes you feel better, I'm always in over my head," Lloyd said. "Maybe that's why you came to help at the warehouse the other night."
I snorted. "Elemental master of getting you out of sticky situations."
Lloyd chuckled softly. A trio of birds darted across the sky, singing a tune to the rising sun. It should've been colder up here on the side of the mountain, but the sun beat down so mercilessly that the chill in the air was welcomed.
"You should talk to your mom about your ancestors," Lloyd suggested. "She might know more about your powers."
I hid my face into his chest. "I don't wanna talk to her."
He rubbed a consoling hand down my arm. "You'll have to talk to her eventually."
I quietly groaned.
After spending a few more minutes to collect ourselves, Lloyd dropped me off home before returning to his. While the elemental masters didn't celebrate Christmas in any sort of way, they did celebrate the summer solstice, and he was needed home for that.
I almost begged him to take me with him instead.
But I didn't, and I couldn't avoid my mother forever. I couldn't even avoid her for a morning.
Breakfast was waiting and I was welcomed back by my mom with a nervous-looking smile and an offer for an apology hug. I dove into it.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled. She stroked my hair and kissed the crown of my head.
"Me, too." She tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and smiled tiredly. "Let's talk after Rose and Simon have gone."
I nodded. "Okay."
Christmas with Aunt Rose and Simon was about as predictable as I assumed it would be - Rose was sweet as always, and Simon said every comment with a hint of malice. I didn't know why mom and I decided to bother with presents for him.
When they had left, dad called in from his station. Talking to him was always nice, even if it did leave me feeling a little hollow after the call had ended.
"I don't know much," mom warned me after setting down a cup of lemonade before me. We'd taken to sitting on the deck to soak up the sun and discuss our family's mysterious past. "After the whole thing with the war against elemental masters and them going into hiding, a lot of our heirlooms were lost or destroyed, so our recollections back to Uchū's days are all but nonexistent."
"Were we close with them?" I asked. Mom lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug.
"We knew of them," she answered, "but we weren't friends or important enough for them to know us."
"What is our power?" I asked. "Can you do it?"
Mom shook her head. "It's been dormant since our first ancestor. I don't know what they are or how she got them, all I know was that she and Uchū were friends."
"What was her name?"
Mom looked down at her drink. "I don't know. That was lost, too. All I know was that there was mention of some kind of prophecy passed down through generations, waiting for the moment fate needed one of us. None of us were aware of its contents." Mom took a deep inhale. "Until Uchū spoke to me in a dream."
I stared at the fizzy liquid in my grasp. It glittered beneath the sun.
"I'm guessing you can't tell me what he said."
Mom shook her head. "I knew, though, when the ninja had first popped up and drove the world crazy with their powers, that you were going to be called upon." She patted my knee. "I could see it in your eyes. You've always been so quietly determined, so good, so- so enthralled with learning about the world. It's like you subconsciously knew you were going to help save it one day."
I looked away. That didn't sound like me. That sounded like someone who was more courageous than I.
"Your turn," mom said. "Tell me what's happened."
I told mom about the tugging, the mind control and the weird peach-coloured shield that protected the team from an explosion and caused me to have a major migraine. I told her about the prophecy being compromised and my powers getting all screwed-up in response. I told her about my possessed walk through the forest that almost made me sick to death and the strange necklace Borg had created for me. All the while, mom's face grew paler.
She set her drink down with a shaky hand. "That's... concerning."
"Lloyd's team and his family are keeping a close eye on me," I reassured. "And he keeps me safe, too." I decided not to tell her I was going to be learning how to fight.
"Still..." Mom looked out to the horizon. "I wish there was more I could do. I wish there was more information."
"Me, too," I murmured.
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Lloyd decided to take me out for a date the next day in an effort to distract me from all the shit that had just went down. It was an attempt I deeply appreciated.
Mom opened the door to greet Lloyd, who went suddenly very still and pale. He wore a faded 'fish want me, women fear me' cap that I had a sneaking suspicion was Nya's. Beneath it laid his blond curls, and beneath that was an expression of fear.
It seemed that he could face down villains no sweat, but my mom was a different level of scary entirely.
"Calm down, kiddo," mom said with an amused roll of her eyes. "I'm not gonna kill you."
Lloyd visibly relaxed. "Okay."
"Unless I catch you in my daughter's bed again."
Lloyd's shoulders tensed once more. "Oh."
"Stop it," I chided my mother. I sent Lloyd an apologetic look. "She doesn't mean it."
Mom turned with a snort and headed back to the living room. "Yeah, I do."
I shook my head in exasperation. Lloyd sent a pained smile my way.
"I take it you're back on good terms?" Lloyd asked after I pulled on some shoes and shut the door. I nodded.
"We talked it out," I said. "She doesn't know much about my powers, though. She said we lost a lot of knowledge during the Elemental Master war."
"I suppose you wouldn't want to be found associated back then," Lloyd said darkly. I hummed in sad agreement. "Oh, well. At least things are better between you two."
I smiled up at him. "Yeah."
Lloyd's date idea was a hike. According to him it doubled as an 'easy start' to my training and would give him a solid gauge on my current stamina levels. There was the start of a hiking trail nearby my house which he led me to with an excited skip to his step. He even brought along a big backpack, which I could imagine was filled with a picnic lunch.
I shivered at the sight of the towering trees as we followed the trail. Last time I'd taken a walk through the forest, I'd almost gotten myself into some serious trouble. But then again, I was saved by Lloyd, and Lloyd was with me now.
Yeah... I was saved by Lloyd. When he was shirtless...
My face suddenly turned into a raging inferno. Oh, god, did I really forget about that? I supposed I was so ill and delirious that it slipped my mind, but he had carried me shirtless through the rain. Did it really only just click now?
I turned my face away before he could take notice of my flustered expression. I tried not to think about it. It was ridiculously hard not to.
But then my feverish response faded when I recalled the massive, ugly scar that had sliced his skin from collar to hip. I recalled the jagged way it had healed, of the bumpy flesh and the shiny skin. It was an old wound that looked like it could have easily killed him.
I wasn't naive. I knew all too well about the dangers of Lloyd's job, but being reminded of that scar put everything into perspective, and it was damning. As brilliant a fighter Lloyd was, as powerful as he was, he wasn't invincible.
"Wait, shh." Lloyd held up a hand and peered forward. He was looking at something I couldn't see through the trees, peering from beneath his stupidly adorable cap. "Look up ahead."
I followed his gaze but found nothing out of the ordinary. Just more tree trunks and dirt trail. I shook my head and opened my mouth to speak when Lloyd lifted his hand again. My words didn't make it past my teeth.
A doe walked its way through the pine trees, followed closely by a fawn. It tottered after its dam with gangly toothpick legs and a dappled backside that kicked up with each playful buck. My lips parted in awe. I'd never seen them in the wild like this. Not with a mother calmly snuffling through the dropped, yellow pine needles and her baby frolicking beside her.
My breath drew into my chest. Life was so precious, so fragile. Lloyd put his own in the line of fire everyday, for a city that hated him and a world that didn't know of his sacrifice, not truly. He was powerful, he was almost immortal, but he could still be killed as easy as a hunter's rifle to this fawn's mother. What if he, too, was hunted? What if he was shot down like a deer in the forest?
Lloyd looked down at me with a brilliant beam and faltered upon the sickened look on my face. I couldn't push away the bloodied images in my head and they swarmed over the sight of the peaceful deer. I couldn't stop imagining Lloyd in a world where the scar across his chest had truly met its mark, and he lay upon the dark concrete of a back street or an alleyway, bleeding out beneath the cloudy skies of the city, eyes foggy and lifeless.
"Y/n? Y/n."
Lloyd's distant, watery voice brought me back. My wide-eyed gaze snapped to his. He watched me with great concern.
"Are you okay?" he quietly asked. "Are your powers playing up?"
I shook my head. "I'm fine. Just a little lost in the clouds."
Lloyd nodded slowly, far from being convinced. Even his hat didn't make me feel better.
We looked back over to the deer and found them gone, having darted back through the forest - either from our voices or another startling sound. They fled. I don't think Lloyd had ever fled, or ever would.
"Let's continue," Lloyd suggested in a chipper tone. "There's this place with a great view that we'll have lunch."
I nodded, letting Lloyd lead the way. I tried to calm my rolling stomach and control my wayward thoughts, but even the noisy summer insects and the occasional chatter of birds didn't make the nastiness waver. I was stuck watching imaginary horrors.
"Lloyd?" I called, after the imagination got too much. He looked down at me with a patient smile. My eyes bounced away from his gaze, instead finding interest in the canopy. "... how'd you get that scar?"
Lloyd had many battle wounds - shiny white scars that stood out against his pale skin. Slashes from swords, nicks from knives. But he knew which one I was talking about.
He drew silent. My eyes fell to him and found that his expression had gone taut, lips stuck in a thin line. He exhaled a reluctant breath.
"It's not really a memory I'm... comfortable sharing," he weakly confessed. "It was a pretty hairy situation."
I patted back my disappointment. "You don't have to tell me if it's too much for you."
Lloyd squeezed my hand with a small, grateful smile. "One day," he promised.
I nodded. "One day."
He was still Alcatraz, and I still only had a plastic spoon.
We continued walking.
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The meadow Lloyd brought me to was something out of a dream. Unlike the last one, which held a small crater lake, this one had swathes and swathes of wild flowers, all bundled over mounds and threading through copses of vegetation. The blue sky above seemed so close I could almost touch it.
I laid down a picnic blanket while Lloyd pulled the food from his bag. I watched as a rabbit darted across the other side of the meadow.
"How have you been holding up?" Lloyd asked as he set out lunch. I took a seat on the blanket and pulled a grass stalk from the ground to distract my fingers with.
"Handling it," I murmured. I wound the grass around my finger. "I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around everything."
"Yeah," Lloyd sighed, "it'll be like that for a while."
"When did things settle for you?" I asked. I tried not to let my eyes linger on the edge of the scar that peeked out from beneath his shirt collar.
"Honestly, I think you just get used to the crazy," Lloyd answered with a hint of amusement. "Nothing's ever been settled."
I smiled in exhaustion. "Great."
Lloyd chuckled and patted my knee. "You'll be okay. You've got us."
My smile turned genuine. "Thanks."
He handed me a sandwich. "How are you faring?"
"A little tired, but alright." I grimaced. "My thighs are a little sore. I'm not used to walking up the side of the mountains, even if they're tiny ones."
I also didn't want to mention how sweaty I was, considering that Lloyd looked like he wasn't even yet clammy.
Lloyd smiled. "You'll get your strength up again soon." He took a bite of his sandwich. "Any issues with your powers since the other night?"
I shook my head dejectedly. "They've slivered away again. I don't know how I'm ever going to control them."
"Start by analysing how it felt," he suggested. "Do you remember how it felt to use them?"
I thought back to the night outside the warehouse while chewing on my bite of sandwich. I certainly felt compelled to stand right in that spot, despite Nya and Cole's attempts to lure me away to safety. And then just before the explosion, it was like... a bubble or something lifted up through my chest and burst outward.
I relayed that back to Lloyd. He nodded thoughtfully.
"Strange," he hummed. "All elemental power stems from our hands." He lifted up his hand to demonstrate. A tiny sphere of green light popped into life above his palm. "And bigger power needs bigger movement." He thrusted his arm out sideways and a larger sphere, about the size of a car tyre, illuminated into life beside us. "But yours..."
I watched him worriedly as his power faded, dragging away the green light that had illuminated the side of his contemplative expression. "What?"
"It comes from your chest," he said. "And you don't have to move your body's energy to generate a big amount of power." He tilted his head at me, staring as though I were a massive puzzle to solve. I supposed I was. "Skylor said that your power felt old, right?"
I nodded. "She seemed pretty spooked about it."
Lloyd nodded. "If she feels that it's old, then... that means it predates Uchū's. I wonder if you circumvent your power's energy from the world instead of yourself?"
I shook my head in doubt. "How can my power be older than Uchū's if I get my power from the world? It didn't exist before he arrived."
Lloyd huffed in gentle amusement. "You can't create or destroy energy..."
My eyes lit up. "You can only change it." I stared at him for a brief second in shock. "Are you saying that someone existed here before Uchū created the world?"
Lloyd shrugged. "I'd say that's our best theory."
I turned my wide-eyed gaze out to the wildflowers. The more I learnt, the more crazy everything seemed.
"Here," Lloyd said with a bright grin. He chucked an apple to me, which I fumbled to catch. "Let's not think too hard about it. I feel like I'm back in school."
"This is a little bit crazier than algebra," I said breathlessly, but took a bite of the fruit anyway.
We sat in the meadow until we finished eating, and then I gathered a bouquet of wildflowers. We walked back down the side of the mountain (which was way easier than going up) and ended up back on my porch before dusk began to drag the sun down. I'd stolen his cap halfway through the walk back.
"Hey," Lloyd said once we stepped up onto the porch. "The team and I are going away for a boat trip during new year's for a few days. You're invited to come with."
"Oh." I blinked in surprise. I didn't realise the team liked me that much. "Are you sure that's okay?"
"Of course it's okay," Lloyd reassured gently. He affectionately placed his hands on my shoulders. "They love you. You're part of the family."
I blushed and held the wildflowers to my chest. "If you insist. I'll ask my mom."
Lloyd grinned happily and said his farewell with a sweet kiss. I watched him go and, only when he'd disappeared from view, I stepped inside to tell mom about our new theory and the trip invitation.
🍃🍂🍁🍂🍃
Chen could feel his heartbeat in his throat as he snuck through the Domu Library.
He didn't know how, but he was let in by the two monks that stood guard outside the giant, ancient doors that held the giant, ancient library. They let him through without a word, eyes glazed over and unseeing. He had an idea that it was Simon's causing.
Chen could practically feel the old magic stuffing his nose as he crept down the halls of tapestries and bookcases. It was the dead of night and the place was silent, making him wince with each step against the mosaic floor. He didn't have time to see what it was a mosaic of. He didn't have the luxury to explore.
His fear pushed him onward, following the directions in his head. They took him to one of the many rooms the Library held, a tall tower of books upon books. They seemed to reach as high as the sky.
Chen stared at the multitude of books in dismay. He was after a spellbook for Simon, but there were so many books that it seemed impossible. He was so going to die.
But then his eyes caught something that made him stop. In the centre of the room stood a small, marble pedestal. And on it was a book of worn leather, encrusted gemstones and a title in ancient writing he couldn't read. It was the spellbook. He knew it was.
Chen walked towards it, as if compelled. It seemed to call for him in words he couldn't understand, but the message was clear. Take me. Learn me. Avenge me. It smelt of death.
He swallowed. The book was powerful. It sizzled along his veins and curdled his blood. It felt dark, dangerous; it felt as though evil itself had became a physical form. His hand shook as he brushed his fingertips against the cover and, with a turn of his stomach, realised that the leather cover was made of human skin.
Chen held back his nausea. Every part of him was trying to get him to turn away, to flee. He wasn't meant to partake in black magic. If he took this book, he could be dooming the world.
But if he didn't, he would lose Bethany. His little sister. Pure-hearted, kind, sweet Bethany.
Chen blinked hard against the tears.
For Bee.
He grabbed the book and ran.