Deja:
Jayden wasn't home. He decided to go and visit his parents. I could tell that he missed them and he wanted to go and live them again, but he couldn't stand his brother which I totally understood. The little meeting we had a week ago still had me hurting. I said so many things that I never I was going to say.
I sat on my bed and watched YouTube videos. I was on that one depressing side of YouTube again. The part you get by clicking random videos and you're sitting there at 2 in the morning questioning life and you can't remember how you even got there. Yeah, I was there. I checked the time it was 10 and Jayden still wasn't home. I began to worry. I called him and he didn't answer.
I heard knocking on my window and I looked over to a smiling noodlehead. I walked over and opened the window. He flopped in and Hashbrown began licking his face.
"Hey," I said.
"Hello!" He smiled and sat across from me on my bed. "How are you?"
"I'm ok..." He looked at me with eyes that meant he was worried.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I said.
"Don't lie. Because behind every 'I'm Ok' is a girl screaming 'I'm Broken'."
"What?" He grabbed a sticky note off my desk and a pen. He wrote something on the sticky note.
I'M brOKen it read on the sticky note. I looked up at him.
"Is it really that noticeable?" I asked. He nodded.
"You wanna know what I realized?" He asked.
"What?"
"You're not the same Deja that I met over the summer," He said. "The Deja I met over the summer came with a frown on her face and a deep hatred for everything, but somehow she learned to smile. But that smile is slowly fading and she's breaking again..."
"So what?"
"I wanna fix it."
"You can't fix something that started off broken," I said. He looked at me with caring eyes before placing his hand on my cheek and rubbing it with his thumb. We looked into each other's eyes and for the first time since the summer, we spoke without moving our lips.
Jack knew everything about me. He didn't need me to tell him for him to know what I was feeling. He just knew it and he felt it.
We sat there for a couple of minutes.
He then quickly removed his hand from my cheek and just stared at me. He parted his lips to say something but quickly shut his mouth again.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing," He said.
"Tell me," I said. "Why are you being weird all of a sudden?"
"You'll hate me if I say it..."
"What are you talking about?"
"Deja..."
"Jack?"
"You're in love with Zach..." I felt myself stop breathing for a second. He looked into my eyes as if he was reading my soul. "Deja... are you in love with Zach still?"
"No," I said. "Yes, I don't know anymore!"
"Explain," he said.
"I- I can't."
"What do you mean, you can't?" He asked.
"I thought I knew my feelings, but I just don't anymore..."
"Do you love Jayden?"
"Of course, I do. Is that even a question? I love him more than anything," I said.
"But do you love him more than anything and anyone?" He asked.
"Do you want to know why I love Jayden so much?" I asked.
"Why?"
"Because when I'm with him, I feel loved. I feel amazing when I'm with him. I know he loves me and I can read his mind and he can read mine. He's not like me, we don't have anything in common, but I feel something when I'm next to him," I said.
"What do you feel when you're with Zach?"
"I don't know. I get confused. I feel all awkward. I don't know what to say. He makes me feel intimidated and I feel... scared. I think that's the right word, but I don't know..."
"You're scared of... Zach?" Jack began laughing. "You do know he's like an inch taller than you, right?"
"Yeah," I said. "I don't know. I'm scared of being hurt... again."
"But do you love him?"
"I don't know. My feelings for him are confusing. At times, I hate him, but when he confesses his feelings for me it's like eating ice cream and playing video games with Jayden. And eating ice cream and playing video games with Jayden is like heaven."
"Is ice cream and video games like a secret code name for something else?" He asked.
"What?"
"You know because video games are kind of like Netflix and ice cream is cold which makes it Chill. So, like Netflix and-"
"No!" I yelled laughing. "We just play video games while eating chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream!"
"So, what you're trying to say is... when you're with Zach you hate him. But when he says he loves you, it's like you're spending time with Jayden." I nodded. "Where is Jayden?"
"Uh..." I checked the time. "He went to his parent's house. He should be back soon."
"It's like 10, Deja..."
"So?"
"Aren't you worried?"
"I'll call him later. He's probably just spending time with them."
"What if he's not though? What if he's with another girl?"
"He's not."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course, I am." I looked at the time. Jack made me question Jayden. "Jayden wouldn't do that to me."
Jack quickly changed the subject, but my mind was still on Jayden being with another girl. But my mind was also thinking about if I still loved Zach.
I got a phone call from Bridget.
"Hello?"
"Deja?" Her voice rang.
"What?"
"I need your help," she said.
"With what?" I asked.
"Lucas took me on a date and left me in the middle of nowhere and I have no idea where I am. It's pretty dark."
"Well, how am I supposed to come and find you if I have no idea where you are?" I asked. "Can't google tell you where you are?"
"Oh yeah, one second." She hung up.
"What does she want?" Jack asked.
"She needs me to pick her up," I said. My phone rang again and Bridget gave me the place where she was.
"I'm gonna go," Jack said.
"Okay," I said. He left through the window. I walked into Bridget's room and grabbed her car keys. I smiled and walked downstairs.
I got into the car and began driving. Bridget did me so wrong and she always hurt me, but I was taught to good things for those who are in need of help.
I was driving when I saw Peyton... With Jayden. Hugging and looking like a cute couple. I felt my face getting heated. I wanted to get out of the car and stomp out there to slap him across the face.
How could I be so stupid?!
I gripped the steering wheel so tightly that my knuckles were turning white. I felt angry and sad at the same time.
I stopped in front of a little restaurant in the middle of nowhere. Bridget got in and thanked me. I didn't say anything, I just drove. I could feel her eyes on me.
"Are you okay?" She asked.
"Why do you care?" I asked rolling my eyes.
"Because you're my sister and I'm supposed to care..."
"Yeah right..."
"No, seriously. I hate you, but you look really mad."
"Jayden is with Peyton right now," I said letting a tear slip.
Weak.
She looked shocked.
"She's a hoe anyways," Bridget said. I laughed a little.
We drove home in silence. I handed her the keys and ran upstairs. I sat on my bed hoping that Jayden wouldn't come home. I looked over at the framed picture of Jayden and I on my nightstand. I faced it down so I couldn't see it.
I packed all of his stuff in his bags and threw them into the hallway. Hashbrown got onto the bed and sat next to me.
Jayden: *earlier that night*
"Bye mom! Bye dad!" I said walking out of the house.
I drove to a Nike Outlet which was right next to Forever 21. Deja had been looking at these basketball shoes for the longest time and I decided to buy them.
I walked in and looked for the ones shes wanted. I smiled when I found them. I quickly paid for them before going to Forever 21 to get her overalls. Hashbrown ripped up the last one.
"Jayden!" I heard a voice say. I turned and saw Peyton.
"What do you want?" I asked while rolling my eyes.
She kissed me. I pushed her off and wiped my lips.
"I have a girlfriend!" I yelled causing all the girls in the store to look at us. "Leave me alone!"
I grabbed Deja's size overalls off the rack thing and paid for them.
"Buying stuff for your girlfriend?" The woman at the cash register said.
"Yeah," I said with a smile. She gave me my change and the overalls. I walked out when I felt someone grab me.
"Peyton get off!" I yelled trying to push her off.
"Jayden! Please!" She yelled trying to kiss me again.
"You're with Zach! And you told him that you changed!"
I tried to push her off when I saw Deja drive past in Bridget's car.
I finally got her off and got into my car.
"Fvck off!" I yelled driving away.
There's always that one crazy ex, in this case, it was Peyton. I cringed remembering how she forced herself on me.
I drove to McDonald's and grabbed 2 Mango Pineapple smoothies, then I drove home.
I pulled up and saw that Deja's fairy lights were on meaning she was home. I smiled and got out of the car. I unlocked the car.
"Deja?" I called walking up the stairs. I got to her room and saw my bags lying outside her door. They were fully packed along with a black trash bag of my dirty laundry.
I opened the door.
"Why are my stuff outside-" I felt a pillow hit my face.
"I hate you!" Deja yelled crying. She was shaking from her bed.
"Deja?" She threw another pillow. I dodged that one.
"How could you?" She asked softly.
"What?"
"Where were you?" She asked.
"At my parent's house," I said.
"Is that it?"
"Yes..." I said hiding the bags and smoothies behind me. I didn't want her to see her surprise yet.
"Liar!" She yelled. I shut the door behind me. "I saw you!"
"What?"
"I saw you with Peyton! You were hugging her! And you both looked so happy!" She cried. "I'm an idiot."
"What? No. She forced herself on me!"
"So you were with her! You just told me you were only with her parents," She said.
"Deja-"
"Go," she said.
"What?"
"I said go!" She yelled. She got up and tried pushing me out. I set down the smoothies and dropped the bags. I wrapped my arms around her.
She cried into my shoulder and punched my chest.
"Why, Jayden?!"
"I didn't cheat on you," I said. "I would never."
"I'm such a fool!" She continued to cry.
"Peyton forced herself on me," I said.
"Stop lying!" She cried loudly. She pulled away.
"Deja..." She stood by her window. "I wouldn't-"
She threw a water bottle at me. She continued to just pick things up and throw them at me.
"I wanted this to be a better surprise," I said. She continued to cry.
I grabbed the bags and threw them on the bed. She looked at them.
"What are those?" She asked.
"Are you going to actually listen this time and let me finish?" She sniffled and nodded her head.
I grabbed the bag and sat down on her bed. I pulled out the box of shoes.
"You've been looking at these shoes for a while now and I bought them for you," I said. She stared at the shoes. "And then... I bought you these overalls because Hashbrown ripped up your other ones. And then I bought the smoothies on your desk because I knew you didn't eat dinner today," I said.
"But why did you hug her?" She asked.
"She was there shopping and she forced herself on me and she wanted us to date again, but I told her that I have you and that I am so very happy with you and I would never in a million years trade for someone else," I said.
"I feel like an idiot," she said sobbing a little.
"You should," I said. "For thinking that I would cheat on you."
She glared at me.
"Come 'ere you dork," I said opening my arms wide. She walked over and sat on my lap.
I hugged her and kissed her cheek. She cried onto my shoulder.
"Why are you still crying?" I asked.
"Because I thought you were cheating on me, but you weren't and I was scared that if you really were... I would lose you," she said.
"You're never going to lose me," I said kissing her knuckles. "I promise."
She fell asleep in my arms. I softly lied her down and covered her body with a blanket. I took her smoothie downstairs and put it in the fridge.
I walked back upstairs and changed. I threw on a pair of shorts before pulling my bags back into the room.
I looked over at Deja who was sleeping. She still had her makeup on. I sighed and grabbed a makeup wipe from the bathroom. I walked over to her and carefully removed the makeup from her face. I tossed the wipe in the trash.
I smiled and brushed the loose hairs from her bun out of her face. I kissed the top of her forehead.
I got up to go to my own bed when I felt a soft hand grab mine. I looked down and saw Deja smiling a sleepy smile.
"Sleep with me please?" She asked.
I sighed and crawled in next to her. I smiled as she buried herself into my chest and I hugged her close to my body. She left a kiss on my collar bone.
"Goodnight," I said.
"Goodnight, babe," she said sleepily.
"Say it again." I smiled.
"Goodnight, Jayden." She laughed a little. I placed a kiss on her lips before she fell asleep.
I sat there and stared at the ceiling wondering how I became the luckiest guy in the world. 🌎