" But we loved with a love that was more than love. "
-Edgar Allan Poe
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"Where are you today ?
The sky seems empty of stars tonight.
Sitting on the rooftop today, I feel what I didn't feel since ages. I feel like an urge to talk to you, Mohit.
I feel like...It's quite a silly thing to say, still...
I feel that I miss you...miss you so so much.
I feel like I'm falling for you all over again. Falling for the love that I once ignored.
My days are numbered, and thus I fear nothing. Not even my own feelings. So, I won't keep anymore secrets from you, my angry little boy. *giggles*
It's time to giveaway all the love that you indebted me with. I want to tell you, that I love you the most, my idiotic tall and super cute teddy.
I love you to the infinity twice and back. That's a long way, dumbo. I love you to the extent where my past, my scars....don't even matter.
It feels like I'm home, when I'm with you. It feels like, I've travelled the world to find my soul, but it was here with you, all along.
That walk back from the park, that face you made when I forced you to pout along with me.
Those midnight ice cream breaks, that little birthday key chain you gifted me saving your pocket money.
That extra mile that you walked with me to my hostel. That last slice of pizza that you saved for me.
That eye contact we shared, when you held my hand while walking through the deserted lane, in the dying rays of the sun.
That blush on your cheeks when I said you are as cute as a teddy.
That...
Well, the list continues.
My commitments destroyed the chance of our perfect love story. Commitments that were made before I found the naughty safekeeper of my soul....
YOU.
But, our story isn't a fairy tale. We are torn apart, and fairy tales always prevent that. And, this torn apart feeling persists because of a secret between you and me.
I never could directly tell you this, but my engagement was fixed even before I stepped in class 12.
In Rishav, I saw my soulmate. He seemed to be a caring person when I first met him. So, I agreed quite happily to marry him.
Rishav's father was Papa's old friend, thus we felt the match would be perfect. But, god suddenly fell in love with the imperfection.
That's the reason we met, and unknowingly fell in love. It's such a fickle thing...Love.
It's so easy to write about love, and confess all my feelings to you here in this letter.
But, whenever I tried looking into yours eyes to confess my love, I had a sinking feeling, in the deep black oblivion of your eyes. My words seemed to lose their way to my mouth.
So much I wanted to say, that I ended up saying nothing....
But, our kind of love is bound to last a lifetime. Love, only the eyes can reciprocate.
I walk with a void in my heart. That void can only be filled by you, Mohit.
We aren't two jigsaw puzzle pieces that fit. We are just two odd shaped pebbles journeying through harsh temperatures together, to find forever.
And, I'm sorry that in our little infinity, we were unable to find our forever.
After the end of college...marriage happened. It all escalated so quickly that I failed to see the way you faded from my life.
And I foolishly believed, we are destined to love each other, but never be together to see that love turn into forever.
And with time, we started breaking apart. Turning into the strangers we once were. I fumbled with words, while you fumbled hiding the tears that welled up in your eyes.
But, you pretended to be the Mohit I knew you to be. Funny, handsome, idiotic and quite prone to fall in trouble.
I hope you don't mind, if the letter is a bit tear stained. I'm crying by now and my tears fill the absence of the stars in this empty sky tonight.
I don't know how things went downhill with Rishav within such a quick span. It was like in one moment everything seemed so perfect, and suddenly all of it smashed.
In the beginning, it was all very smooth. We were happy and loved each other's company. But, he was all discreet and never talked about his job. I egged him constantly, and he always used to slyly dodge the topic.
It all had a pattern.
I saw him talking on phone for long hours before vanishing for the next few days.
After three long years, I finally found out about his business....
Drugs. He was the epitome.
One of the many masterminds behind the import and export of drugs in Shimla.
One day while searching his cabinet, I discovered some documents that clearly stated about an agreement that was scheduled to be signed that day.
I still remember staring at those documents in utter despair. Hoping they would suddenly change.
Then, I quickly restored everything back to it's place to avoid suspicion, before moving out of the room.
Nikki was just one and a half year old, back then.
After that, I had investigated a lot. And, more I investigated, the more I was horrified. It was time...
I just wish to put an end to all this now.
He killed people indirectly, that too without any guilt, something that I feel is unpardonable.
So, accompanying him, I am planning to go on a road trip after a few days.
And, I'll cut the brakes on the trip day, so the car without any control of itself will happily tumbles down the cliff.
I'm still alive in your heart, Mohit. And, I'll keep on doing so, I promise. But, I don't think you will ever see me again.
For I will be no more.
Everyone will know, we died in an accident. With death being a veil of peace to me.
And, I'm volunteering to die, because I can never live on with this truth. I will take the blame of killing someone to my grave. A grave, that now is destined to be thousands of feet deep inside a cliff.
I won't survive. And, I'm happy about that.
Higher...much more higher... somewhere up there, you will one day see me, I guess. Burning.
And it would be a long journey. From thousands of feet below to thousands of feet above.
So, all I ask from you now, is to take care of my daughter. She is just 2. Unable to even walk and talk properly. Not an age to sacrifice everything.
And within a few more day, she will be an orphan. Alone. All alone in this entire world. Without anyone to love, or be with her.
I feel she deserves better, she deserves someone like you in her life. She will never know what mother's love is like, but I definitely want her to know the love of a father.
The love that only you can give her. With she not being the daughter of a maniac drug dealer, but the daughter of a kindhearted person like you.
Always tell her that you are her father and I'm her mother.
This is my dying wish, Mohit. I don't think you will even find this letter....but I know you in person.
I know you will love her like your own daughter. Be happy and have a safe life.
Until the next time we meet...
Love you lots and lots and lots, my love.
And, please don't cry. I'm always with you idiots. Smile for one last time on my not so funny jokes. I can't afford to make you cry, you fool.
I love you very very very little ( Sarcasm is love! ) but I can't stand you being sad.
After all, we are star-crossed lovers.
So, here's one last poem for you. This is all I'm left with now. I'm sorry that it's not much, but I tried....
Gone will I be, like footprints on sand.
Once again our love will touch eternity's hand.
And, all that will remain will be you, my love.
With me waving at you from high above.
Because, I will forever love you....
My Mohit.
- Aahana
By the end of the letter Mohit was in a puddle of tears, not caring about anything or anyone around him.
"Jeez...I hate emotional breakdowns. They give me creeps," Ajay screamed inside.
After a while he spoke in his calm and serene voice.
"I hope you realize that Aahana is alive and...preparing her return, somewhere out there."
"Wha-what ?" Mohit gasped looking up, with eyes redder than tomatoes.
"You really are the idiot she mentioned you to be," Ajay sighed, pointing out a pattern in the letter.
Seeing the pattern, Mohit fainted with a scream.
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C'mon, run your fingers wild. Let them trace that beautiful hollow star and click it.
With that star being filled with deep yellow, fulfilling your heart's buried desire.
Satisfied at last, you slowly turn on to the next chapter....