Cliffhanger maybe ahead...just maybe *chuckles nervously*
Wow...this A/N started off good.
*******
Arian looked around, surrounded by the sky stretching trees Arian felt strangely at ease. It was night, the burning gas-balls called stars shone brightly adorning the night sky.
It was a breathtaking sight, through little slits shone moonlight like a path lightening the forest. You would think they were signpost...but what is funny is that this light was all around Arian like spears piercing the ground.
Does it mean that Arian has all these paths to choose from?
Can she choose what her future will hold for her?
"Bullsh*t" Arian muttered.
She played with the silver knife in her hand looking around for any familiar surroundings.
Arian had hoped to know where Liam held her, but she was clueless. Sighing she took out the map she found in the small house she got out of. Arian tsked at the one day trip she was away from the nighfall pack.
And Dahlia still hasn't talked, I know you can hear me Dahlia!
She was met with silence.
Arian ruffled her sticky hair in frustration. There is a possibility...a slight possibility that Dahlia migh never talk.
But that didn't concern Arian, it was the fact that she couldn't feel her. It was like she was completely..
"Gone" Arian grunted.
F*ck it, if she is alive she will let me know.
Now I have to get back as fast as possible.
A nagging voice in the back of her mind spoke up, it wasn't the voice of her memory but it was a voice of guilt.
'How can you just go on like nothing happened?'
'You just killed your daughter, how can you act like nothing happened?'
'Lily tortured you not only physically but mentally, she was the only person who is able to do that because she meant everything to you. Don't act like nothing happened'
'Stop acting strong'
'Like this didn't affect you'
'Stop lying by saying you are numb'
'You are feeling the pain, you never stopped...but now that you accepted it...there is no difference for you'
'You call it is numbness, but it is the feeling when the pain finally becomes a part of you'
"STOP IT!" Arian clutched her head in her hands, her fingers digging into her scalp drawing blood. Her breath became ragged, she tried to ignore these voices.
She knew they were right.
'The sadness consumed you, you want to know why The goddess said you will never be able to experience happiness--'
"STOP!" Arian screamed in desperation.
'Because this incredible sadness in you...it killed everything in you. You died the most painful...most tragic death of all'
'You are dead...yet alive. You might see Jake, be with him...but will you ever be able to feel the happiness of it?'
The voice taunted Arian, they were her own thoughts that are suffocating her.
Arian fell on her knees, her eyes looked up to search for anything..anything to pull her out of these taunting thoughts.
She was breaking, her deceiving built walls are crumbling. She was torturing herself by those meaningless thoughts.
Meaningless because the truth doesn't matter anymore, it won't change the mess she was.
"Arian" the Moon goddess spoke "you...didn't bury the two" she spoke to herself.
"I can't risk their blood getting in my system in any way" Arian gasped for air, her body was tense in fright.
"Good.." the moon goddess muttered.
Arian stood up on her shaky legs, her eyes narrowed at the goddess "good? I though I was the sadistic b*tch..." Arian shrugged "if you found watching my pathetic life 55 times enjoyable...I bet it turns you on to watch others in pain, you did your best to enjoy this kink of yours" Arian chuckled humorlessly.
The Moon goddess stared back at Arian, her eyes slightly wide "that...is also new" she muttered, shaking her head.
"In all the previous time lines...you buried the two and cried on Lily's grave for 2 days...you screams were heard through the forest that the native wolves came out of their hideouts to answer to your cries..." The Moon goddess muttered.
"That means I am 2 days ahead of the previous time line?" Arian asked.
The moon goddess nodded her head "yes...this could be the time you could stop it"
"Stop what?" Arian questioned.
"..." the moon goddess opened her mouth but no words came out. She huffed in frustration.
"I thought because this time line is different...I will be able to tell you but...what comes next is..a secret" she winced.
Arian didn't look twice at the goddess and went her way following the map's directions.
"Wait..you really want to go...you might not like what you will find" the moon goddess said, her voice dangerously on edge.
Arian turned to the moon goddess, her eyes darkened as her mind drowned in the memory of her mess of a life "when was I ever lucky?" amusment lacing her voice.
"You heard what the voice told you once...what you will find will destroy you. It won't leave--"
Arian cut the goddess off with a loud finger snap "just shut the f*ck up and maybe also p*ss off. Whatever I will see it won't be worse than poisoning my own daughter, am I right?" Arian snapped sarcastically.
"...Call me, you will know when" The moon goddess whispered, Arian was doubting herself if she heard a hint of pain in her voice.
Arian went her way, she hummed a melody to fight the strange nervousness, whatever the moon goddess was talking about, her body and her mind knew that it is nothing good.
**
Jenn sighed, another day where she watched Zaire furiously go through documents.
"Zaire...I am overjoyed that you are trying your best to find Arian...but didn't you dislike her. You are a stubborn pig, why did you change your mind?" Jenn asked Zaire, she stared back at his red eyes.
He held her stare, both his arms flat on the tables surface. "I love you" his lips twitched upwards at the blush creeping on to Jenn's cheeks.
"Y-you will not get out of this like that again! Zaire...what is wrong?" She questioned, a hand on her cheek trying to cool her warm face.
He chuckled and motioned for her to get closer, it was a strategy he has been doing for almost a week now, he was surprised it has lasted for so long.
It was not like he didn't enjoy seducing his Hazel, but he felt guilty for avoiding her questions.
"No" Jenn whispered "don't think I haven't noticed this. You are trying really hard to avoid my questions...you don't want to lie to me, I get it. But avoiding my questions is not a way" Jenn crossed her arms.
"First...don't do that" Zaire raised a brow, he pointed at her crossed arms, "second....I love you" he gave her an Oscar winning smile.
I love you.
The three words he has kept repeating to her, not a day has gone by since Arian has vanished where he hasn't told Jenn he loved her. It was the fear she could die any day and Arian isn't here to keep her promise.
Whatever or whoever has killed Jenn in his dream, it must be someone he couldn't fight against, someone he was useless against because even in the dream, if it was someone he could fight, Jenn wouldn't die. It isn't possible, he wouldn't let it happen.
Arian isn't here, the only person who could be able to protect her. He hasn't taken a blow on his pride to ask for help for her to disappear.
Now...the only thing he can do is to search and wait.
.....And tell the love of his life his feelings in the hope when it comes to the point of no return she will remember those three words.
The words he will repeat only for her.
Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts "Zaire--...Zaire" he felt her fragile arms around his neck pulling him down to her. He felt her warmth making his heart speed up but strangely the same warmth calmed his demons.
"You are...crying..." Jenn muttered, her eyes narrowed at the wall behind him.
"you are delusional" he whispered back.
"Then is it your drool on my chest?" She raised a brow at him, she knew he was too proud to stand for his tears.
"Maybe you are lactating?" He wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her closer. His head wandered higher, he breathed in her scent calming his mind.
He chuckled at Jenn's small fists that tried to hit his back, but in vain since he couldn't say he felt anything but a feather brushing his back.
"Really?" Jenn huffed.
He left a lingering kiss on her neck before answering "Really."
A bored voice interrupted their almost romcom type moment, "Ah...my poor eyes"
Zaire swiftly hid Jenn behind his broad back and growled at the intruder, the heavy smell of blood alarming him.
A figure covered in dried blood waved at them, "I see that I haven't been missing much" Arian muttered leaning against the door frame.
"Blackburn..." Zaire took a step foreward not believing that the person he has turned his territory and beyond upside down is right in front of him.
Arain's nose wrinkled in distaste "What is this sentimentality in your eyes Walker? I could puke"
"No..no" Jenn's voice came foreward, her voice shaky in shock. She stormed at Arian, her hands trembled as she took Arian's tattered sweater in her hands, she felt fresh blood on it. Arian read her mind and answered.
"The fresh blood is not mine...I met some rogues on the way here" Arian looked Jenn in the eyes, silver meeting hazel. Arian didn't even bat an eyelash telling the truth, it didn't move her at all that she killed people even if they were rogues, lives are lives.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" her voice screeched, it wasn't for the lives she has taken but for the fact that Jenn couldn't find Arian anymore. Arian smiled at her, a cold shuddering smile wiped of any warmth.
"Y-you have...these eyes again, what happened Arian?" Jenn took a terrified step back. She has seen her like this once and hoped to never see her like this again. Her presence was unhuman like.
Arain's eyes narrowed at Jenn for a second, her lips pressed in a straight line "Jenn..you are..." Jenn's eyes widen as she noticed that Arian was going to spill a secret she has kept save for a few days until now. Not even Zaire has noticed it, it might be because of his lack of sleep or lack of presence around her.
"What happened?" Jenn cut her off frantically, her eyes looking to the side Zaire was standing.
Arian gave her a bored look, it didn't concern her if Jenn wanted to tell Zaire about her pregnancy. She didn't care because it was her choice.
"Let him put his friend aside and we can talk" Arian tilted her head nonchalantly.
Jenn looked back at Zaire confused "Do you have a friend here to spy on us?"
Arian flicked Jenn's forehead "Just sit down"
"I think I liked it better when you were gone" Ziare muttered and rushed out of the room, Jenn looked confused after his blushing figure.
"Which friend did you mean?" Jenn whispered.
Arian glanced at her "If you are pregnant you should know that friend" Arian let her hand entangle her hair, she picked a piece of furr and skin out if her hair. She flicked the small souvenir of one of the rogues away.
I need a bath. Arian thought for herself, she didn't mind the blood on her but the pieces of rogues that might be stuck in her hair weren't very sexy.
"I thought you finally were happy, you showed more emotions, you were normal...but now you disappeared for more than a week and return as if someone pressed reset" Jenn had tears in her eyes. Arian might have not noticed, but Jenn was always looking after her.
She had Jake and Arian always under her watch, it was the feeling that she had to protect her, to help her. When she met Arian, Arian was just a hollow something that lived without the spark of life in her eyes. Jenn thought, if Arian had saved her even with that state of mind...it meant that there must be some humanity to save within her.
She was right, with Jake Arian warmed up. Jenn thought she had finally repaid Arian for saving her life.
"So where the f*ck where you?" Zaire came into the room with new clothes and fresh out of the shower.
Arian had a smirk playing on her lips, yet her eyes darkening "Liam, the person who has manipulated my memory has kidnapped me and held me as his little torture b*tch, any more questions?" Arian challenged.
Zaire's eyes widen, it was a first that he truly regretted his word choice towards Arian "I..am sorry"
"Were you the one who did it?" Arian glanced at the scattered papers around the office.
"No" Zaire answered curtly.
"Then shut the f*ck up" Her voice laced in annoyance. "I can guess why you searched for me, glad to see I can still keep my promise" Arian yawned, her eyes flattering close.
The truth was that she didn't give a sh*t but a promise is a promise and the little spark of humanity in her might still care about Jenn...or the bloodlust to kill someone. Either could be true.
Or it coulf be just for redemption after killing a dark blonde, hazel eyed girl.
Arain met Zaire's silent stare, questions were floating in his curious mind.
"You two sure want to know what happened right? Zip your mouths shut and listen because I don't find it necessary to repeat this sh*tty story" Arian said in a monotonous voice.
The slight aggression in Arian's voice muted their thoughts. Jenn spoke up wearily "your story...isn't sh*tty. It is your life after all"
"You want to know what happened?" Arian chuckled darkly at her naivity "I was kidnapped by a f*cking psychopath who wanted to get revenge by taking away everything dear to me. He used my daughter to torture me. Her name is Lily, she died 600 years ago by the father of that psychopath, Liam, who I killed. He found a way with the help of another psycho to bring Lily back to life, he trained her to be an impressive torturer. She is my daughter after all, she is like her mother only good to inflict pain.
Zaire might have not told you Jenn, but I am a Bookman, an immortal piece of sh*t. So the week of silver knifes, redecorating my guts and bathing me in my own blood didn't kill me but how I wished it would have. I lost all sanity. Liam was careless for a moment and I was able to kill his half immortal a*s. And I killed my daughter with him. I killed my own flesh and blood and didn't even regret it. So if you ask me, I had a great week, a little killing there, a little silver play there you know...my little perfect life" Arian's cold eyes glared back at them.
"A-Arian...you are a Bookman and immortal...You had a...daughter?...Who are you?" Jenn stepped back searching for Zaire to lean on. Jenn's hands touched the silent tears that escaped her eyes. Jenn, felt her pain.
She had a feeling that this was just a shard of her story. But if this was just a little piece...how painful must be her whole story, how much pain is behind those emotionless eyes? How could Arian talk about her life like it is some kind bad plot.
"One way to drop a bomb" muttered Zaire.
"That was a bullet, the bomb is far more than that. If this day ends and I am still alive...we can have a story time" Arian looked down at her bloody clothes, before she looks for Jake she has to change, she thought.
Jenn sat down on Zaire's chair, her head in her hands. She was muttering words under her breath. She felt like Arian was f*cking around and this was just a joke. Nothing was a joke, reality is never roses and rainbows, Jenn should know that but it was the hope within her that wished for Arian to have not gone through that.
"Why didn't you search for Jake first?" Zaire asked.
Arian stilled, her eyes did not meet his, "I promised something, just making sure I am not late" she whispered.
Lies.
It was the doubt that made her choose to see them before Jake. The words of the voice within her still floated in her mind.
She might be broken.
She might be wiped of any emotions.
She might be insane.
But now losing the only man she felt this damned feeling called love towards....
Words could not describe...what might happen to her.
What darkness might take her.
If anything happens to Jake, it would be her fault. No matter how many times Arian breaks or shatters there won't be a time where Jake wouldn't matter to her.
And that might just be her curse, her love for Jake will be her downfall.
*****
Next chapter...*sigh* I am...excited.
I am scared of the last chapters, but I hope you will like them like I do.
It might just destroy this story or connect it.
you're welcome for updating btw :)
put you theories for next chapter here if you have any.
Till next time (and that might take a damn while)
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