I sip the coffee that's sitting in front of me as I stare at the screen of the phone that's turned off and sitting on the table. I'm sure that if I turned it on, it'd be filled with texts and calls from everyone. Especially Steve. But I'm also sure that as soon as I turn it on, Tony will pinpoint my location and someone will be here to convince me to go back faster than I'd be able to get away from the phone.
I realize that it was stupid to bring it, especially since I've been obsessed with it since I left. I know I won't be able to use it unless I want everyone coming after me. But I just couldn't leave it behind. It's the only way I'd be able to contact the team if I would need to for any reason. No matter how many times I try to convince myself to just drop the phone and leave everyone behind, I can't do it.
That team helped me through two very rough times, even though I'm not even completely over the second one. They were there for me when no one else was and I couldn't be more thankful, but I had become a burden. No matter how good I became at combat, that didn't change the fact that I wasn't always sure how to control my powers. I can't even count the number of times I unintentionally hurt someone while in training, or even outside of it.
I sigh before shoving the phone back into my backpack, right by the charger and headphones that have become useless since I won't be turning the damn thing on. I grab the travel coffee cup off the table and begin heading down the street, back towards the hotel I checked into just yesterday.
I'm not sure why I even chose Romania. It's not like I've always dreamed of coming here or something. And it's not like I could've googled it while at the facility, Tony would've been on my ass before I could leave the grounds.
I keep my head down as I walk through the streets, glancing into alleyways out of habit and paranoia. I immediately look away upon seeing a figure in one of them, not wanting to send any sort of bad message and get myself into trouble. But I can't help but glance behind me after I pass, and I notice a man walk out.
His hands are shoved in his pockets and his long dark hair is being used to cover his face.
I step over to the side and inspect a stall that's filled with fruit and glance back over at the man as he passes right by me. I let out a gasp when I get a small look at his face.
I've heard a million stories about Bucky Barnes from Steve. I've visited their exhibit in the museum more times than I can count, but I never expected to see the guy in person.
I wait until he's farther ahead of me before stepping back out into the street, but I really don't think I'm very good at discreetly following someone, and Bucky has been trained to notice these things. I keep my eye near the back of his head and pretend to read signs or look at things for sale if I notice him turning around.
As I turn away from a stall filled with various clothing garments, I'm unable to find Bucky. I pick up the pace slightly as I head down the street, searching for his dark hair and hoodie.
I don't even know why I'm so keen on finding him. It's not like I even know him, despite how many stories I've been told. I do know however, that this guy is a trained assassin and could easily kill me before I even knew what happened. It'd probably be best if I stayed away, but I'd almost like to have some sort of friend here. Or even just someone I could notice on the streets.
In the middle of my thoughts, I'm pulled into an ally with a hand placed over my mouth before I could even scream. I instinctively use my recent combat training to attempt to get the hand away, but it doesn't budge and the man doesn't even flinch.
"You're following me." I look up and meet Bucky's green eyes. He moves his hand from my mouth slightly but keeps me bound against the wall.
"You're Bucky." He just stares at me and I'm not sure how to explain myself. "I'm one of Steve's friends." Still just a blank stare. "I didn't really mean to follow you. Well, I meant to but I wasn't planning to."
"Look," I sigh. "I've been through some shit recently, and so have you obviously, and I left everyone. Steve and Tony and them. I haven't been on my own in awhile, so when I saw your face, I followed you. I'm not here to hurt you. I would never, or could never. I just latched onto a familiar face. I'm sorry. Just let me go and I'll be on my way. I won't follow you anymore. I'm sorry."
"You know Steve?" His stony gaze feels like it's burning a hole through my head.
"Yeah. We're close. Or were close, because I just left him yesterday with only a note. He talks about you all the time. He misses you."
"What's your name?"
"Riley. Riley Medela. A lot of people know me as Remedium though. I can heal injuries." I leave out the part about my inability to control whether or not I hurt people. For all I know however, my body could be burning up right now.
I sigh in relief as he drops my arms and I shake them out, getting blood flow back. The two of us stare at each other for a minute before I turn and head back out onto the crowded streets, not even turning back to see if Bucky left or not.
>.<
A few days go by with no sign of Bucky. I buy coffee from the usual stand and begin my search for an empty table.
I'm about to give up and walk away when my eyes land on the same long black hair I saw a few days ago. Without thinking, I make my way over.
"Excuse me?" No response. "Do you mind if I sit here? There's no other tables." Usually, I would take the no response as a no, and that is most likely what Bucky was implying, but I somehow get the courage to sit down across from him instead.
I sip my coffee as the two of us sit in silence for a minute.
"Bucky." He still doesn't move. "Is that what you want to go by?" He still won't even glance up at me. "Well, I could use some advice. I think the owner of the hotel I'm in is starting to recognize me, or at least get suspicious. She's been asking me all these questions but I've only been here for less than a week. I'm supposed to check out in two days though. Have you found any decent apartments while you've been here?" He finally looks at me, still no emotion to be found.
"I know that's probably not at all what you were expecting, or wanting to talk about, but I'm trying to make small talk. We can talk about something else if you want."
"Why are you here?"
"I come here to get my coffee every morning." He continues to stare at me. "You didn't mean here here, did you?" I pause to take a deep breath. "I told you the other day. I left because I couldn't handle all of that anymore. I wasn't expecting to find you here. That was just some sort of huge coincidence."
"You've heard stories about me?"
"Yeah. There's a lot of times Steve can't stop talking about you. He misses you."
"He doesn't miss me."
"He does. You're his best friend."
"I was his best friend. I'm not that man anymore." He looks down at the table once again.
"I can help you." He glances behind me rather than at me. "I've heard stories. I've read books. I've been to the museum exhibits more times than I can count. I don't remember a lot of facts about you, but I do know what Steve thinks of you, and the relationship you two had." I pause again and attempt to make eye contact. "Let me help you, and you'll be helping me in the process."
Without even thinking, I left out the fact that I'm also regaining memories. That every memory gained reopens a wound that had just begun to heal. That I've also been a part of Hydra, not to the extent that he has, however.
"I don't need-"
"Please." I interrupt him when I notice him begin to stand up. "I need this." He ignores me as he begins to walk away. "Bucky." I yell out for him but he doesn't turn around. I throw my hands up in frustration and notice a slight gold color coming off of them. I swear to myself before immediately standing up and walking down the street and stepping into the first empty alleyway, hiding myself in the darkness.
I run my hands through my hair despite their gold color and lower myself to the ground. I close my eyes as I attempt to steady my breathing, but the color only grows.
It spreads up my arms to my shoulders and I can't figure out how to make it go down. I panic even though I know it won't help anything.
I begin to doubt my decision of leaving. Steve was always able to calm me down even though I'm not sure how. It didn't matter how many times I hurt him, he was right there trying to help. But then I realize that this scenario is the reason I left. It's out of control, and that makes it unsafe. That's why I left. I wanted to stop putting my friends in danger any time I became slightly aggravated or annoyed.
If this actually caused me pain, I'd argue that I deserve it. But the only pain it causes me is mental. But maybe that's the worst kind.
I jump up when I hear a noise in front of me and the gold that has spread through most of my body illuminates Bucky's face in front of me.
"You need help." It comes out as a statement as he stares at the light all around me and I can't help but let out a self deprecating chuckle.
"I need help."