“That’s Amelia Earhart in the center of that groupie mess over, and that should keep everyone distracted from the lack of alcohol for the rest of the night. Johl likes to brag that she performed the most successful disappearing act that a Vampire has ever pulled.”
“Amelia Earhart? A vampire?” I asked, with a snort. “Come on, Claudia.”
But Claudia said nothing, simply looking at me above the rim of her wine glass, as she as she took another healthy sip.
“Wow,” I said, suddenly impressed with Johl after all. “You’re serious.”
“Well, when he’s not insulting his family, or vandalizing rosebushes in the neighborhood, he’s got to find some way to stay relevant. Oops, did I just say that part about the rosebushes out loud?”
I grinned, immediately recalling Mrs. Planchon’s claim that someone was cutting down her precious plants. And amazed at my good luck, I tucked this information away for possible use in the future.
“You don’t like Johl that much, do you?”
“Is it that obvious?” Claudia replied. “Ever since the Romaines got involved in my family’s life, Johl’s had it out for my sister. But personally, I think that he’s just jealous he isn’t a Maker. He doesn’t like her, and he likes me even less, so he just uses Angel to satisfy his frustrations.”
“Then why are you here?” I asked curiously.
“I don’t know. An excuse to see my sister?” Claudia replied. “Boredom maybe? Ever since Angel and I were banished from our clan, I seem to find myself using any excuse to get out of the house lately…”
Claudia trailed off, and judging from her expression, she and I both seemed to notice how personal the conversation was getting. Hastily, I cleared my throat and we each looked away.
“Well,” I said. “The only reason I’m here is because I thought I was gonna get the chance to talk business with the Vampire Council. But that’s not gonna happen. And I have a feeling the only reason Johl asked me to come is just so he could string me along.”
“I’d watch out for him if I were you. He’s got a thing for pretty, unsuspecting girls. All the Romaines do…”
“So I’m beginning to notice… You know what, I think I’m gonna go get some fresh air. I’ll see you? Later tonight?”
Claudia nodded, and I walked from the room, skirting the crowd. I caught only a glimpse of short, curly, brown hair that supposedly belonged to Amelia. But I hadn’t the patience or the interest to investigate that phenomena more. So recalling the route back to the front entrance of the castle, I made my way from the happenings of the party, thinking only of an escape from the turmoil of the night’s events. Well that, including my disappointment at not getting the chance to meet with the rest of the Council.
And if I hadn’t been so wrapped up in my own thoughts, then surely I would have heard his footsteps or smelled his cologne before we met. But his voice is what dragged my attention from my thoughts.
“Leaving this early? But the night is so young.”
Tidus was walking towards me from the opposite direction of the long hall. He was coming my way with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, wearing an oddly un-formal grey sweater, with a plain black t-shirt that peeked from beneath. A pair of black and red Jordan’s finished off the outfit nicely, but his wardrobe gave me the impression that dressing for the party hadn’t been high on his list of priorities for the night. Which meant that he probably hadn’t planned on coming to see me either.
“I thought I’d take a breather, get some fresh air from outside.” I said, trying to be as low-key as possibly under his customary, piercing gaze.
“I could join you,” Tidus said. “To be honest I don’t feel much like a party anyway…”
“Ti, what do you feel?” I said, without warning. I had bypassed cautious and managed to cannon bomb straight into uncomfortable. “I mean, trying to understand you is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. And I have no idea – none – how you really feel about me.”
“Naomi…” he said, beginning and ending at a loss, it seemed. “I don’t know how to answer that right now.”
“Well, can you at least try?” I said. “Because I really have to know. Ti I did something a few days ago that I’m starting to really regret. I turned something down that I’m scared I’ll never find again…”
“I-I’m sorry, but I don’t know what you want me to say,” he said simply, helplessly, and it was as if my whole world crumbled and then went dark.
“No. No, it’s fine.” I said distantly. “You’ve said enough, thanks.”
I closed the distance between us, but when I made to walk around him, he grabbed hold of my wrist and held me back.
“Wait. Naomi, let me ask for your forgiveness. It’s clear I haven’t said nearly enough to you.”
“Really, I get it.” I insisted, too embarrassed to look him in the eye, and understanding at once how Ethan must have felt. “You still can’t trust me. The serum wasn’t enough, and like Claudia said, visions don’t lie –”
“But they don’t always tell the truth, either.” Tidus said firmly. “Not the whole truth anyway. And I already told you that I trust you now. The visions may be real, but I don’t believe – for a second – that they define us.”
“Then why the space? Why are you still intentionally pushing me away?”
Tidus dropped my hand, and with fear, I understood that I was losing him. Whatever this was, and whatever we became, would be defined by how we handled this one, precious moment. He was afraid of something, and if I didn’t protect him from it, our chances would never grow.
“Naomi, history has a pretty nasty way of repeating itself – just look at Caspian and Sully. They broke The Rules of the Red, and now they’re dead because of it. And granted my family wasn’t doing so great before Cas died, but afterwards… afterwards, we fell apart. So I have to do what I can to protect my brother and my sister. I have to save them from things you just can’t understand. But I can’t do that – none of it – if I’m with you.”
“But why?” I said, struggling to understand, and failing, miserably. “Tell me what is that you think I won’t understand.”
“I can’t,” he said, with a sadness that was infuriating. “I can’t tell you anything, and it’s because I care about you and because I want to protect you too. I know you aren’t anything like Sully – in fact you’re better and more stunning in ways that I would never have enough time to describe.”
I looked away, holding back both tears and a smile, as I realized that the friend-zone speech had been given more than once tonight.
“But?” I said, closing my eyes against the inevitable truth.
“But… I can’t be with you,”
And there they were – the words that I had dreaded the most to hear again– falling like bombs from his lips. I thought that after taking the truth serum, and proving to him that I was someone he could truly trust, that he would give us a chance. But apparently, like so many other things I believed, I was wrong.
“I can’t stay here,” I said dully, beginning to back away from him, preparing to flee. “I can’t do this. I have to go.”
“Naomi, just tell me that you understand – that’s the only way I can feel good about this!”
“I can’t…”
“But you told me you weren’t in love, remember?” he said, dropping his voice into a low, furious whisper. “You said that at a moment when you couldn’t lie. So why does this hurt you so much?”
But before either of us could make a further move, the doorbell sounded from the end of the hall, and Tidus and I exchanged quick glances.
“Carl’s gone for the night. I’d better get that.” Tidus said, with reluctance, but before he could so much as turn in the direction of the door, I felt something solid and heavy brush against me. I blinked, and there was Johl standing with a look of sick pleasure pasted on his face. He had this cunning, toothy grin, as he looked from me to Tidus and back again. And suddenly, I had the unpleasant, sinking feeling that he had been listening to the entire conversation.
“Please, allow me brother. You two look… busy. Don’t let a silly doorbell ruin your conversation…”
And with a last, wicked grin, Johl was again that familiar, speeding blur, disappearing up the hall as he made a beeline for the front door.
Tidus and I exchanged looks. He rolled his eyes, wearing the face of someone who was used to Johl’s capers and had grown wearisomely accustomed to them.
“I knew it was a bad idea letting him and my sister move back in…” Tidus said, furrowing his dark brows in a manner that caused my pulse to quicken.
“Well,” I said, gathering my steel and courage to salvage from this what I could. If Ethan could be a friend in love, then I could be one too.
“That’s what friends are for right? When you fight with your siblings, you go to your friends.”
I reached out and took his hand; he looked down, for a moment barely seeming to register it. But suddenly Tidus’ fingers were there, twining around my own. Mine were burning hot, and his were freezing cold, coming together in a way that was simply right for the both of u.
But after a second or two of this euphoria had passed, in a swift move of self-preservation, I dropped his hand before he could push me away. And I reminded myself that the moment that had passed between us, was only what we desired, not what we truly had.
Wordlessly, I allowed Tidus to lead me the rest of the way down the hall, arriving long after Johl had already opened the front door. My plan was to slip outside, away from everyone else, to merely stand in the night air and be alone with my rejection for a little while. I had put my heart on the line, only to have it disappear out at sea. And I would never get back what I had given to him.
As we entered the foyer, I looked to Tidus with the last bit of comfort and encouragement that I could muster, given the fragile state of my emotions. And sensing my gaze, Tidus flashed me a small, reassuring smile, as if to let me know that given everything that had just happened between us, we would still find a way to be alright.
“Hello, Tidus,”