“Yuanji?” Sima Yi asked, knocking gently against her chamber door. The young attendant had given Yuanji the evening to flush her anguish, a near destructive form of meditation Yuanji seemed to rely on when confronted with troubling moments. Though no event in her life had ever elicited such a seething and explosive response from the girl, Yi believed in Yuanji’s strength to work herself through it. The boy came by the following morning before sunrise. He carried with him a tray of Yuanji’s typical breakfast: rice with a peeled orange and a kettle of honey tea with an empty cup. Yi held the tray against his chest as he continued to knock. “Yuanji, I have food. I know you didn’t eat much last night, so you must be hungry. Yuanji?” No response. Sima Yi grabbed the handle and started to push the door open. “Yuanji, I’m coming in.”
“Are you alone?” Yuanji answered quietly on the other side of the door. She held the door shut with two extended arms.
“Yes, I’m alone,” said Sima Yi. “What’s going on?” Yuanji paused before opening the chamber door. The girl wore a dark cloak with a hood and a pale expression on her face. Yi stepped inside and laid the tray down atop her desk.
“You need to leave,” said Yuanji.
“Why?” Sima Yi asked. “What’s going on?” Yuanji looked away. Her eyes were large and glassy. The girl’s nose was puffy, glowing red.
“Okay, I know it’s going to seem crazy, but I think that’s just where we are now,” said Yuanji as she paced around the room. “My father has really crossed a line this time. I’ve been patient and obedient about this whole ‘princess’ thing for all my life, but I can’t do this. I can’t marry this man, this stranger.”
“You had to have known that something like this would be happening soon though, right?” Sima Yi asked. Yuanji lifted a small collection of clothes from on top of her bed and stuffed them into a traveler’s pack.
“I don’t know, maybe,” Yuanji said. “But I guess, I don’t know, that I would have gotten over these feelings before then, that I would have achieved the same complacency in my life that everyone else has for theirs. But I haven’t. I want more and I can’t get over that.”
“So, what? You’re just going to run away?”
“I don’t know, maybe, yeah,” Yuanji stuttered. Sima Yi walked up to her.
“You can’t,” said Yi. “It’s one thing to want to, but you realize why you can’t, right?”
“I have to,” said Yuanji. “Just for a day.” Sima Yi rubbed his head.
“The Emperor will not go easy on you because you’re his daughter, you know that, right?” Sima Yi shouted. He grabbed for her hands and held them to his chest. “You can’t leave, even if it is just for a day.”
“Then a week, a month, a year,” Yuanji arged. “I don’t care. I have to get out of here.”
“Yuanji, he will send the entire guards to hunt you down the minute he finds you missing,” Yi said. “As much as I’d be afraid of facing the consequences of letting you go, I can’t bear to think of the lengths he’d go through to keep you here after.”
“That’s why you have to get out of here,” said Yunaji. “You didn’t let me go. I slipped out before you came by to drop off breakfast. You played no part in this.” Yi puffed and shook his head. Yuanji pulled away from him. She took his mother’s book and placed it in the pack. “I’m really sorry to dump all of this on you. You’ve been the just the best friend I could have ever hoped for in a place like this. I owe you a lifetime of gratitude. But I have to do this.”
“Yuanji, you’re not thinking this through,” said Yi.
“Do you want me to be happy or do you want me to be miserable?” Yi sighed and shook his head.
“Where would you go?” Yi asked. “Are you just going to live without a home like some vagrant? How will you eat? How far do you think you can go?”
“I don’t know,” said Yuanji. “But maybe that’s the point. Maybe I don’t want to know. Maybe, for once in my life, I don’t want everything so planned out for me. I want to live like your mother did. I want to see the world. Or at least my own village. With my father having kept me trapped in this palace, I know that this prince would only do the same. I can’t, Sima Yi. I can’t live like that any more.”
“What if you get hurt?” Yi asked. “You know I can’t come with you.” Yuanji slung her pack over her shoulder.
“I’ll just have to learn how to take care of myself,” said Yuanji. She approached her friend up close. Large, pleading eyes shimmered back to him. “Please understand. I feel meant for so much more than this.” Yi nodded and looked down. Yuanji placed both hands on his chest. “I need a friend here, not an advisor.”
“I just… I want you to be safe,” said Yi. “I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.”
“I’ve spent my whole life ‘being safe’,” said Yuanji. “I’m grateful for your concern, but maybe you should want more for me.” Yuanji broke away from the boy. She bowed before him. Before Sima Yi could clear his head long enough to return the gesture, she was behind him, heading for the door. Yuanji inched the door open.
“Yuanji,” Yi called. The girl turned around. Sima Yi dipped into his tunic satchel to produce six silver coins. The boy took both of Yuanji’s hands, dipping the pieces into her palms. “Please take care of yourself.” Yuanji looked up to Sima Yi and smiled. The open hallway beyond her door began to murmur with the sounds of guards switching shifts. Yuanji stole one last look at her friend before slipping into her only opportunity to escape.
Leaving Yi standing in her doorway, the crown princess glided down the long, elaborate corridors. She moved swiftly and silently, peeking around corners the access the most empty routes to take to the palace courtyard. The girl’s pack shifted against her back with noisy jingles, but her feet scurried feathery placement. Her eyes darted in every direction. Her heart pounded with the chance of getting caught. Palace guards roamed the halls, forcing Yuanji down alternate routes and into hiding nooks until they passed. The girl had the guard’s schedule memorized fairly thoroughly, but her confidence waned the longer she remained within the palace. She darted her way toward the main hall, where the palace doors stood. The girl began to pant with how hard her lungs worked to keep up with her firing heart. Yuanji wiped a layer of sweat from her head, the first time she had sweat in months.
Yuanji came up on the main hall. The girl could only survey the room so much from behind two large staircases leading up to the throne room. She knew that there could be guards where her vision would not allow, but how far she had come and how close she was, nothing could stop her from seeing her escape through. Yuanji hid behind one staircase, listening for signs of life stepping or standing in the rest of the room. The silence she requested remained mildly, yet effectively interrupted by the humming of her own rapidly beating heart. Yuani knew that the longer she waited, the more likely she would be to be caught. She made a decision. Without full confidence in what laid beyond her blocked sight, Yuanji bolted out from behind the staircase. Her eyes fell upon the door and only the door. Without knowing whether or not someone had seen her, Yuanji pushed her whole body against the front door. The gold plated frame cooled her burning, sweating palms. The girl pushed with all her strength, feeling the door bend to her force. Yuanji pushed the door just far enough to slip her and her pack through.
Outside, Yuanji pushed the door back close. The deed was much quicker the second time. When finished, the girl turned around. Morning sunbeams were just beginning to crest over the horizon, paining a rich blue tint to the world. The smell of fresh lavender blossoms filled the cool air, not in the form of incense. Birds sang from far away, gliding through the sky without a care. Yuanji halted. She took one slow step into the world beyond her palace. She looked back at the beast. It’s outer magnificence did nothing to depict the prison that laid within. A widening smile came to Yuanji’s lips. The girl adjusted her pack and took more steps into the great beyond.
Over the palace courtyard, she saw the village of Xian readying itself for another busy day. Yuanji’s single steps became a brisk walk, followed by a flowing run. The girl failed to remember the last time that she had ever fully ran before. Her feet guided her toward the village like an spirit lifting itself off to heavenly freedom. Tears streamed down her face in a way that she had never experienced. Yuanji felt herself laughing as she ran, never wanting to stop until she had seen the whole world and all its unknown splendors.