A poem for a friend
When I first saw you I knew I wanted to talk to you
By the way your hair fell over your shoulders; by the way you smiled ever so brightly, how you softly
spoke beautiful words, how most of the time you never really looked
Put together but you still looked perfect
I knew you were special
When I finally started talking to you I felt
Whole
The numbness I had held for what seemed like a lifetime had just disappeared
And I could finally say that I was happy
I finally could say I felt something
And that something was so real
But then in the short time things changed between us
It came by so slow, so gradual
I noticed it happening but I pushed it away, thinking I was just paranoid
When you started changing at first I didn't really notice
Because first, you just cut your hair, and it didn't fall over your shoulders anymore, and for once you looked put together
Then you stopped smiling, and that bothered me so much but I didn't even say a single word about it
You lost your brightness and I could tell you were losing interest in me
And it hurt me so much but again, I tried to ignore it
Then, you stopped speaking softly and your voice boomed over mine
But the words weren't beautiful anymore they were just
Empty
Then the numbness started coming back
And when people asked how I felt I simply said
"I
feel
empty"
I felt empty like all the words you said to me
Like all the bright smiles you stopped providing for me
I was empty because that's how you left me
I wanted to feel again, but who wants to feel when their only source of happiness is gone?
And now I just sit in my room and wonder why I let myself get so attached
And I'm sorry you lost your brightness for me
That things changed
That your light burned out.
I'm sorry I'm writing this to you when you don't even think of me anymore
I'm sorry, that I'm sorry
But when you left I changed and I'm not the same person anymore
I'm sorry I let you change me.
And I'm sorry I still wish that you would care
But it's all too much for me
You were too much for me
And I try to feel but I still cant
And you just took everything away
When you took your brightness away from me you took mine too
You let me burn out
You let me burn out