Okay, who didn't understand the last chapter and the a/n this is once more simplified.
If you understood the twist in the last chapter just skip this. Part.
And start where the **** begins.
The moon goddess sent Arian back in time in the hope she will maybe be able to change her future and stop her from dying. But the out come was always the same. She did that 55 times, sending Arian everytime back in time when she dies.
So how the time line goes Arlen leaves Arian with her parents, Arian gets raped, She loses Lily, she becomes a Bookman. Lives 600 years somewhere saves Jake, meets Jake and gets rejected. They work things out and she gets accepted. Liam shows up, Liam kidnaps Arian, uses Lily to torture her.
Then some things happen that are unknown which lead to the death of Arian (a death that made the moon goddess do all these time travel) And then the moon goddess brings her back in time.
She kept doing that 55 times and this story s the 56th She doesn't remember anything when she is put back in time, but repeated years did get stuck with Arian. the memories didn't just disappear but manifested in the back of Arian's mind as this weird voice That is the reason for her muted behaviour and why she didn't seem to be so affected by some things. Like the one year torture.
The voice is a part of Arian, In a way it is her, but also not Imagine Arian living her life with all torture she has gone through till the day she dies. And then the moon goddess brings her back in time Arian has gone through more than anyone can even grasp. So when the get becak in time without a memory of all those horrible things it isn't possible. Yes she doesn't remember each time she is sent back but the memory still lingers.
That lingering memory, that pain is that voice in the back of her head If Arian ever tries to embrace the voice in her that thing would destroy her it eat her from the inside. She would feel the pain of living her pathetic life 55 times in one moment.
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"Lily had a lot of fun..." Liam's dreading voice filled the room. Arian's head hung low she suppressed the smirk playing on her unmoved face.
You will die Liam...and I will enjoy seeing your blood paint the ground.
The bittersweet vow clouded Arian's mind, it was a promise she intended to keep.
"Aw come on, don't tell me I already broke you?--" his rough hand yanked Arian's hair back forcing her to look him in the eyes.
"Answer. Me" he seethed. Arian's features remained unmoved, someone would describe her mimic as brave or crazy.
What makes a human dangerous?
The most dangerous people are those with power, money, strength, influence. Most people would answer with one of them but...the right answer is far from it.
It is a human who doesn't have anything to lose.
Those who have nothing to live for, who lost everything they had, those who don't see the difference between life and death because they genuinely don't care what happens to them. Those who saw hell on earth and laugh at the thought of finding something worse because the have seen the worst.
Arian thought she met this stage of insanity the moment she saw Lily, but the truth was, she was pushing back the warm image of a specific person's smile in the back of her mind in the hope she could forget, she didn't want to feel the guilt of her selfish way of thought.
She didn't care.
Yet she did.
Because he made her care.
This feels quite familiar, the details are a little different. It reminds me of the time Jake rejected me in the cell.
A loop sided grin formed on Arian's lips, her eyes shone their silver shade of insanity "You can't break what is already broken" she whispered her grin never leaving her.
Liam growled at her change of attitude. He didn't want to see her grin at him like she's won the lottery. This wasn't how he imagined it. He wanted to see her at her lowest point to walk over her broken pieces.
But this wasn't how he imagined his fun to be.
"Slut" he muttered under his breath. With a rough yank the sound of Arian's bones breaking filled the room. He let go of her hair, Arian's head hanging back in an unhealthy angel.
She slowly raised her head, her bones snapping into place. She looked at a scowling Liam.
"I am not your pathetic father" Arian said nonchalantly. Liam's face turned a few shades darker at her witty remark.
She was doing it again.
If she had learned something from the day Jake rejected her it would be...if she wanted to get killed she just has to open her mouth.
Harsh words. She was pushing behind that deceiving grin to prove them.
Her face snapped to the left as Liam's fist connected with her right cheek. The taste of copper dominated in her mouth, a taste she became immune to. "YOU LITTLE B*TCH!" Liam growled out, Arian itched to cover her ears from his booming growl.
Gladly, I love playing karma.
She slowly turned her bruised face to look in his rage filled eyes, she smiled at him showing her red tainted teeth. She slowed down her regeneration, the blood in her mouth dripped down the corner of her mouth, not that it changed much since she still was from head to toe in her own dried blood.
Liam did one mistake. Freeing Arian from the silver blades that were keeping her from regenerating now she has the complete control.
Liam underestimated Arian,nhe thought he knew her, watching her for so long he thought bringing her daughter into this will suck the last happiness she had within her, that she will be so broken that she won't be able to heal. Healing takes great mental concentration something Arian, who was held here with Lily for a week playing her games, would be more than impossible.
Arian was more than calm.
She should feel guilty for feeling this apathy but the numbness is making it easier for her to forget the guilt.
Once more his fist connected with her cheek, she felt her cheek bone break and her mouth filled with her own blood to the point she choked on it.
Perfect.
She slowed down her regeneration that the pain stilled.
"What is wrong sunshine?.... Can't take the fact... your daddy was a sl*t and made you, his b*stard son? News flash kid, you didn't have to take revenge, it would have made him the happiest daddy if you could go back in time and give him a condom...you know...keeping accidents from happening" Arian grinned at him her breaths uneven.
He growled loudly, his disgusting breath brushing Arian's face, "The same I could tell you" he seethed. Liam's mind was clouded with rage as he began to make use of his clenched fist. His fist met Arian's empty stomach with a strong punch that knocked all air out of Arian.
She grinned while he didn't stop at just that and switched to her face, once right then left the sound of her teeth being crushed, her bones breaking it made Arian happy.
Because she had the control, she had the complete control over him.
Arian closed her eyes concentrating on slowly pulling her arms out of the already loose silver ropes while Liam blood splattered face was focused on smashing Arian's pretty face occasionally crushing her guts.
He grew frustrated by the second, he was waiting for her cries, for her groans of pain even pleading for death. But she was completely silent.
He stopped beating up Arian, his eyes dark with rage, his faint pants filled the room. With hazy eyes he looked at the Arian, his eyes widen at the pity in her eyes.
Her gaze screamed.
It screamed "You will die"
"STOP LOOKING AT ME!" The back of his hand slapped her red cheek. His breath became ragged by the second, he didn't want to believe that he was scared of her. Scared of the woman who is the reason he was left behind.
"LILY!" he shouted for the hazel eyed girl, Arian's grin widen into a full blown smile.
Thank you Liam.
"Will you still have this smile on when I kill your daughter in front of you...again..and again..and again" Arian sighed at the idiot. The desperation in his voice almost amused her.
She played along "No...Please let Lily alone" she cried out, but in the same time it was hard for her to not let her smile win.
She knew she was completely and utterly insane at this point, maybe even before.
Liam's lips twitched into a smile, hearing her plead brought his thoughts back into track. Arian gave him the satisfaction of her fake fear. With that he became careless and turned his back to Arian.
You will see how much of a b*tch I truly am.
With one last movement her last pinned limb was free, it was easy to get out of the ropes, for Arian they were nothing.
But why didn't she free herself from the beginning...it might be because she was restrained less than in the beginning, or that all sharp silver objects aren't digging through her flesh weakening her. The answer could be either of them but it is neither of them.
It was because she couldn't leave, maybe the voice inside her or the memory that stopped her from fighting for her freedom--no...it was nothing of that.
Arian wanted to torture herself.
Sitting in that room, on that chair gave Arian a little time. People seemed to enjoy torturing her...she was curious why people enjoyed seeing her in pain. She truly wanted to understand it, what happiness did it bring to others to watch her suffer.
Arian stood on her wobbly legs, it was long since she last was able to stand on her feet, Liam turned to her expecting to see a restrained Arian. Shock over took his features he was frozen on the spot. Arian bit her tongue hard drawing blood. As if snapping out if his daze he lunged his arm back to knock Arian out.
But Arian didn't let him, she took a step foreward wrapping her arms around his neck pulling him flat on her. "Idiot" she whispered against his lips before they connected.
Liam's eyes widen he tried to pull back but Arian's claws were digging into his neck. They shared the copper taste of Arian's crimson blood. She could feel Liam slowly stopping to struggle, Arian smiled into the kiss. It might have been seconds.
120 seconds to be exact.
As Arian reached second 120, she pushed Liam back with all her might which was a lot since Liam was thrown against the wall. The visible crack on the wall a prove of her strength.
She spat out the disgusting taste of the kiss they shared, she wiped away the access blood that dripped down the corner of her mouth. Her eyes snapped to the groaning figure cowering on the floor.
A sinnister smile graced her lips at the visible pain he was in. She remembered the words of the moon goddess.
Her blood was poison to him like his was to her. She will enjoy watching his soul slowly leave his body. By the blood she shoved down his throat it would be a surprise if he could survive.
Arian crouched down in front of him.
She held his light brown hair in her fist forcing their eyes to meet. "If you have anything else to say...spit it out now before you die" Arian let go of him waiting for his answer.
He glared at her but closed his eyes as a groan of pain escaped him. His body's temperature rapidly rose. Liam felt his blood boil inside of him burning him alive. A ear piercing scream shook him. With his hand he clawed at his chest digging through his own flesh.
"I am not the one to judge when it comes to revenge, but you have done a sh*tty job" Arian picked the a strand of her hair between her fingers, she examined the dried blood on it, how the strand was no longer bending by the amount of blood.
His groans of agony mixed with low chuckles, it slowly became louder till only his hysteric laughter was left. His choking coughs cutting in between them "You are right...I had 600 years... to plan this and only....this came out of it" He continued to laugh.
Arian's eyes widen at the visible sarcasm hidden in his words.
She sprang up her legs itched to run, her instinct told her to not. Like she will regret what she will see.
And she will regret leaving this mess, because there is always a bigger mess ahead.
Arian walked over to Liam's neatly placed tools, she took the familiar silver knife he had slammed into her stomach when she first was here. With slow taunting steps she approached his shaking, cowering figure "I changed my mind, just shut the f*ck up and die" Arian said coldly before slamming the knife into Liam's throat.
He was now frantically grasping for air croaking screams replacing his laughter. Arian scowled as his now limp body.
He was dead, the blood not only poisons other immortals but also stops their regeneration which makes them weaker than humans, if Arian knew that she would've restaned herself from her impulsive act.
"His death was not half painful as I wanted to be" she tsked.
Faint steps approached the door, it slowly crept open to reveal a pouting Lily. Her eyes wandered to Liam's dead body.
"Uncle Liam is dead...can I play surgeon?" She looked at Arian for answers. Arian sighed at her innocent daughter's question.
Arian bend down to take out the silver knife of Liam's throat. His blood rushed out of the open wound, a small smirk ghosted on Arian's lips at the master piece in front of her.
Not what I expected and Lily was right...the crimson colour of blood is truly fascinating.
Arian wiped away Liam's blood on the knife, she could just use his blood on Lily but she is her daughter and if she dies by her hands, it will also be with by her blood.
She placed the knife on to the palm of her hand, with a slik move she pierced her red palm. Fresh blood oozed out of the deep cut, Arian fisted her hand hard while the knife was held under it, slowly she let her blood drip on the blade until it was completely glazed by the red colour.
She held the blood soaked knife in her hand, extending it to Lily. With a soft meaningless smile she spoke to her.
"Drink" Arian said. Lily looked up at Arian with her big hazel eyes.
"Okay" Lily said and took it from her hand. Lily was just a hollow obedient shell, she doesn't decide for herself which Arian guessed.
Arian went to the chair she was chained to for more than a week, you would think she is scared of ever sitting there again...but right now she didn't care for anything.
She sat down on the chair that was drenched in the red brown colour of her blood. She motioned for Lily to come to her. Lily giggled and went to her mother. She sat down on her lap with the bloody knife in her small hands. Arian's smile not faltering she brushed her hand through Lily's dark blonde hair.
Arian looked down at her daughter, her body was cold missing the warmth she once knew. Lily raised the knife to her faint blue lips, she let a drop of Arian's blood drip on to her lips before licking the red metalic liquid.
Arian could have pierced her daughter's heart with the blood and caused her a quick death.
But this wasn't her daughter.
It deserves the same death as Liam, feeling my blood in them burning every cell in their body.
Arian leaned back closing her eyes. A memory flooded her mind.
"Bawt mommy! Pwease?" Lily whined.
"Why do you want to cut your hair Lily? Didn't you say you wanted to be like Rapunzel?" Arian picked the two empty plates from the small table.
"Becouse I... want to bwe straong!" Lily pouted, crossing her her small arms in front of her chest.
Arian picked up her daughter off the chair, Lily squealed, giggling. Arian laughed as she spun Lily in the air, their laughter mixed in a delightful melody. Their laughter was heartwarming, a daughter and her mother's shared happiness, it was one of the few moments Arian truly forgot all her problems and really looked at her daughter. At the smile on her light filled face.
Arian slowed down and sat down putting Lily in her lap, she watched her continue with her cute giggles.
"You don't have to have short hair to be strong Lily" Arian said brushing her dark blonde hair.
"But bowys are... stroang. Lily...want prowtekt mommy!" Lily tilted her head back with her big hazel staring back at Arian.
Arian's eyes narrowed in played anger, she puffed her cheeks and pouted at her little daughter, she didn't like the slight sexism in the statement "No-no-no..." Lily's eyes widen slightly in attention "Boys are strong, girls are also strong. And you don't have to protect mommy, because mommy is strong, look" Arian smirked mischievous. She let her fingers lightly brush Lily's ticklish sides.
Lily squealed loudly and bursted out laughing telling her mother to stop.
"MOMMY..." She laughed gasping for air. Lily jumped off her mother's lap laughing.
Arian smirked at her "Look, I am the strongest" she wiggled with her fingers chuckling.
"Yow wil never gewt me" Lily laughed and ran with her short legs, Arian didn't give her daughter a second before she already leapt her off the ground holding her in her arms. Lily's delighted giggles filled the room, she shifted in her mother's grasp, the little girl was a little fighter Arian thought.
Arian dramatically put Lily on the ground and fell on her knees, then flat on the ground "ah! The little angel has beaten me"
Lily giggled at her over dramatic mother, she bend down her and planted a kiss on her cheek.
"Look, you are my strong angel with the long hair, no need to cut your hair baby girl" she smiled at her smiling daughter.
"Okay...Lily wil bwe like mommy" Lily declared proudly, forgetting all about her previous thoughts.
Arian's face softened, she pulled herself up, her eyes on the same level as Lily's.
"You can't be like mommy, mommy will not let this happen, Lily" Arian said. Lily's small lips formed a pout.
"Why not?" Lily asked.
Arian snapped out of her daze pushing back the bitter memories she smiled at her daughter, her own flesh.
"You will be better than mommy" Arian smiled at her.
Lily tilted her head slighly to the right, a confused look on her face "Mommy is thee best"
Arian chuckled at her daughter's innocence.
Arian wanted to tell her daughter that she was the reason she could be her best. That she was able to be so strong till now.
She held the words back with a smile, one day she will tell her.
Arian was snapped out of her memories by Lily's violent coughing. Her blood soaking Arian's knee. Lily whimpered in pain, she was no longer abel to hold herself up and fell on the ground with a hard thud. The knife falling out of her hand.
"M-mommy" Lily groaned in pain.
"Yes Lily?" Arian stood up, her icy eyes looking down on Lily.
"Thank you" Lily smiled blood painting her pale skin.
Shivers ran down her back, her eyes widen at her daughter's words.
Her groans stopped, her violent coughs no longer shaking her small figure. Her body was limp laying in her own blood.
A tear flowed down Arian's cheek meeting her smiling lips.
"They were the same words I have told Jake when he was going to kill me...now I know why the words had this bittersweet taste of a deja vu on my tongue...I guess I learned something from you Lily" Arian wiped away the stray tear and picked up the silver knife.
Without looking back she strode out of the room.
"Thank you" the words Arian has said in the face of death, she didn't only mean to thank Jake...but also she has quoted her own daughter who thanked her. They weren't her words but Lily's.
Arian knew too well how it felt to hear those two small words, she knew how Jake must have felt. With the little difference that she didn't hesitate to kill her daughter.
And didn't regret it.
"Sleep well my angel" she muttered under her breath.
***********
Aha...ehm well that took me long enough.
My tests don't have an ending, I have two weeks, every single damn day a tests and directly after that I have mid term exams.
The system sucks. We are slaves.
So please have mercy on my poor author soul *cough* which I have sold to the devil *cough*
I will probably be dead for some time. No biggie.
Fun fact while writing this I have fallen asleep twice...I honestly don't know how.
Ehhh till next time.
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