-Aimee, Earth-
Meetings with the other angels were always so boring. I played with my nails, changing the designs over and over again while they talked about the human governments, economy, agriculture, population, and other things like that. Bla, blah, blah. I started humming a catchy song that was stuck in my head.
“Aimee, be quiet. Pay attention.” My father scolded.
“Why are these always so boring? You guys were much more interesting when you killed people.” I complained.
“I swear… I hate her more now than when she was half human.” Zella muttered.
“Care to say that again?” I stood up fast, knocking my chair over. The boom echoed throughout the stone room. I personally think they should redecorate this old Scottish castle.
Zella stood up too, just not as fast. “Yeah, actually. I hate you more --”
“Zella, enough!” Michael yelled.
Hope snickered and Amelia glared at her, while the Cherubim sat back in their chairs with grins plastered across their faces.
“Do you two think something is funny?” I directed at Uriel and Raphael.
“Aimee…” Michael warned.
“What are you going to do about it?” No one said anything. “I can’t believe you’d rather be doing this than --”
“Stop, Aimee!”
“-- Regaining your wings and full power in Heaven.” I finished. The silence was so thick, I could almost feel it with my fingertips. “What? Reven didn’t tell you? I was sent back to get all of you. God’s orders. Anyways, I’m leaving to go party or something. Any objections? No? Ciao, then.” I arrived at an illegal rave in Tokyo.
I had a knack for finding good parties. The Japanese screamed my name “Aimee, Aimee, Aimee!” I loved how open the humans were at raves. You know, clothing optional. I also loved the electronic music, crazy dance moves, and mesmerizing light shows. Of course, the humans’ auras made a private light show just for me. I put my hair up in a bun and changed my clothes into leather boots, fishnet stockings that rose up to the middle of my thighs and fastened with garters, a black tutu mini skirt, and a red corset top that laced up the back.
Then, in Japanese, the DJ announced, “The world’s hardest, craziest partier is now here. Put your hands up for Aimee!” The noise was deafening. I melted into the hoards of people. Laser lights changed my skin tone into different hues.
All the pulsing bodies rubbing up against me, the hypnotic sounds, was as close to a high as I was ever going to get. On multiple occasions, hands groped my body. I didn’t care. I was free to do as I pleased. No one could hurt me, no one could stop me.
Cocking my head, I felt a tear and I knew Hope was coming. With practice, I had learned how to detect which of the fallen were teleporting. Hope appeared beside me. In the past year since I’ve returned, she and I had grown close enough for us to be considered friends. She chuckled when she saw me.
“We’re supposed to be politicians. This isn’t helping the image.” She raised her red eyebrows at me, but her dark eyes shined as she said, “But you always do find the best parties.”
“It’s a talent.”
“What would Reven do if he saw you now? He already knows, but Aimee…” She continued on, saying, “He still loves you, whether you’ve changed or not. At least put a shirt on. Don’t hurt him more than you already have.”
“You’re no fun.” Another red corset covered me up. “But you’re right.” I kissed her cheek, inhaling her scent that smelled faintly like roses and clovers.
“Go to him. Make him feel better. Take a shower first, you reek of the humans.” She crinkled her nose at me, but patted her hand on my back for encouragement.
My clothes changed into a soft t-shirt and skinny jeans. I was instantly clean and flashed her a proud smile.
Hope tsked. “Don’t you miss the feeling of a good shower?”
“I still take showers, but this is so much more convenient.”
“Before you go… Aimee, did you really mean what you said earlier?” Her voice was low, but my hearing easily deciphered it and filtered it out from the background noise.
“Yes.”
“That’s what I was afraid of. We don’t want to go back, especially now that we know what it means to be free.” Her red brows were pulled tightly together and her eyes were far away, lost in a distant memory. She looked back at me once it was done. “I have a feeling this isn’t optional.”
I hugged myself as I looked across the ravers, it was my turn to look away. The humans had no idea. “I know. I don’t want to go either.”
“We have to. You don’t know what he’d do…”
I gave her a hard stare. “I know better than most.”
“That’s always a possibility, but there’s other things.” Hope ran her fingers through her short, red hair and tried to tuck it behind her ear out of habit. It was too short.
“Do you miss your long hair? I always thought it was lovely.” I changed the subject.
“I like this. It was time for a change. It will just take some getting used to.”
“I cut a foot off of mine. It had grown down to my thighs.”
“When you were Nephilim, it was always fairly short.”
“It was more convenient that way.”
Hope grinned mischievously. “You’re procrastinating.”
“Guilty.” I laughed. “It was working.”
“You’ve been avoiding him. Every meeting, he tries so hard to catch your gaze. I can practically hear his thoughts begging you for your attention, but I’m assuming you’ve been blocking him. You come late, so he can’t sit by you, and leave early, so he can’t follow you. We all see it.”
I sighed. “It’s difficult, Hope. I would feel guilty if I broke his heart, but I don’t know if I love him… Like I used to.”
“It’s because of Lucien, isn’t it?”
I jerked back, stunned. “How did you know?”
She shook her head, grabbing my left hand. She made the ring appear on my finger. I would always keep it invisible, but somehow she knew. “Womanly intuition, but I didn’t know it had went this far…” She trailed off.
“I don’t know what to do.” I looked away from the ring, and from her, so she couldn’t see my eyes change to blue.
The music disappeared and we were in a small room. “My home, in Paris.” She pulled apart the curtains that concealed a window, revealing a view of the Seine and the Eiffel Tower. “Sit on the bed. We need to talk.”
I complied with her commands and she came to sit next to me. “I really don’t know what to do.”
“You married him.”
“I thought I would be with him forever.”
“But what about your soul wasting away? Didn’t you know about that?” She clasped my hands in hers.
“I did but… Lucien tied a part of his immortality to me, so I would remain the same.” I couldn’t look away from the ring.
“How did you leave?”
“I accidentally read a prayer in a book I was reading out loud. I didn’t want to leave him. This wasn’t voluntary.” I tried to keep from crying, rapidly blinking. “God pulled me away, but it tore my soul in two. The human soul is still with Lucien.” I drew in a shaky breath and swallowed a sob. “She doesn’t even know that I’m here. She’s still loving Lucien.”
“Oh, Aimee… You really love him?”
“Yes, I love Lucien. I’m his wife.” I finally said those words out loud.
“This is why you’ve been avoiding Reven?”
I nodded, looking down and wiping at my eyes. “Reven looks so much like Lucien and it just hurts to even look at him. I’m scared because I think this part of me was the one who loved Lucien and the human side loved Reven.”
“Aimee, both of those sides were you. Interchangeable, mingling, and one. You were both of those.”
“But what do I do?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. I’m assuming you didn’t talk to God about this. His foresight would have been useful. Knowing Lucien, he did it properly and… Completely.” Hope eyed me, so I know that she meant sex.
“Yes, completely.” I swallowed. “No, I didn’t talk to him about it. I was busy being turned into a full angel to not perish forever.”
Hope pulled me into a tight hug and I finally started crying, for the first time as an angel. She brushed my hair through her fingers to calm me and rocked me back and forth. “Shhh, Aimee, shhh…”
I cried into her shoulder and went on and on about loving Lucien, him being my husband, how he’s the one for me, just like a teenage girl would to her best friend. This was a turning point in our relationship, becoming best friends. I talked to her through the night until she fell asleep in my arms. My tears had dried up and I felt much better. I laid her down onto the bed and decided to follow her advice, leaving her asleep in Paris and arriving in Reven’s new home in the Caribbean.
This was another reason I didn’t want to face him. It reminded me so much of the home I shared with Lucien; not the home itself, but the white sand, turquoise water, warm climate, rainbow sunsets, sound of the waves crashing, and the smell of the salt. Reven’s house wasn’t like the mansion. It was modest and relaxed, looking like it belonged on this beach, instead of being made on it. I thought it was cute.
“Is that you, Aimee?” Reven asked from the other room, surprise and happiness in his voice.
“Of course it’s me.” I snapped defensively.
Reven stepped into the doorway that led to the bedroom. He reached for me but dropped his arms when I made no move to come closer. “I didn’t mean anything…”
“Hope said I should come here.” I said quickly, stroking my wings to avoid eye contact. They itched with the need to feel the wind beneath them.
“Of course she did,” he muttered under his breath. “You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to.”
“So… What do you want to do?” I asked awkwardly.
“First, I want you to at least look at me. I don’t have the plague.”
I let go of my wings and looked at him.
“Your eyes rarely change color anymore.” He noted, looking into the eyes that weren’t blue anymore, but gray.
“I don’t feel things the same way anymore.”
“I know, I know. It’s a pity; I loved your eyes.”
“I don’t want your sympathy.” I sighed, “I knew this was a bad idea.”
“Then why did you come?” He was so bitter now.
“I… I’ll just go.” I moved to go out the front door but heard him say, “please don’t go.”
“Was I not supposed to heard that?” I asked, turning to face him again.
“You heard?” He shuffled his feet as if he was embarrassed.
I tapped my temple. “You project your thoughts too much.”
“Oh, you aren’t blocking me anymore? That’s new…” He trailed off and I didn’t make him finish.
I walked slowly over to him and forced his clenched fists open. I slipped my fingers in between his and he grasped mine tightly. I looked up at him and he looked down at me. His free hand cupped my cheek and he said, “I don’t care what you say, Aimee. I’ll make you fall in love with me again.”
“I’ll try to let myself fall.”
We sat in his bed, leaning against the headboard. His thumb traced circles in my hand as I rested my head on his shoulder. It was… Nice; finally not arguing and just being quiet. I didn’t speak because I didn’t want to ruin it.
Maybe if I started feeling again, I could love him and not obsess over the love I lost.
Maybe.