•| requested |•
IM ON A ROLL WITH REQUESTS HURRAYYYY
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"I don't love you anymore, Sungrin, I---" Jibeom closes his eyes, maybe to stop the tears from coming out, and breathes as he looks at my eyes directly. "I didn't... I didn't even love you before... all of this is just so wrong, I'm just t---"
I hit his cheek so hard, a red shade already forming as he holds onto his face, looking down to the ground, his eyes void of emotion.
The tears force their way out of my eyes and I blink them away, sending them down through my cheeks as my breath hitches.
"How dare you?" I say, my voice cracking as I didn't want to let out a sob. "How fucking dare you?"
He hesitates looking at me directly in the eye. "I-I'm sorry I---"
I hold out my hand. "Stop. Don't talk if you're going to apologize because that won't work this time around. I don't want to hear your useless bullshit you're going to pull on me this time. I'm tired. All this time, I thought that we," I point to him and me, my hand slightly shaking. "were going steady. But after this...? I don't know anymore."
"Look, Sungrin---"
"I said to fucking stop!" I stop him from speaking again. "I trusted you! I loved you! But this whole time, you lied to me, you lied about this... you lied about this relationship, you lied about your feelings, you just fed me with a thousand lies and now that I've known the truth I don't know what to feel anymore."
Finally, he stops from defending his self, and I see a tear coming out of his right eye.
"Was our relationship built on lies? Was it just me that forced you to keep the relationship? Did you get tired of me? In the first place, why did you even agree to be with me?" Questions keep on coming out of my mouth as I try my best to be strong, when I am already full out crying, my voice breaking, and losing strength. I feel that my heart has just been shattered into a million pieces as I reminisce those times we spent together, those times that I felt genuine love for him, when he didn't.
"Am I just a toy to you? Am I just to be played with?" I scoff sarcastically, a new wave of tears forming. "I can't believe this."
Jibeom closes his eyes in defeat. "I'm sorry," he squeaks.
"Why did you have to tell me this just now? Why not before? Why not when we just started dating? Jibeom, I need an explanation," I cross my arms.
"Sungrin, I'm sorry, don't be mad---"
I laugh sarcastically. "Oh? Why would I be mad?" I glare at him. "Because you hurt me? Because I gave my all to you and you didn't? Because I loved you so much?"
He didn't respond.
"Of course I'll be mad!" Tears keep on falling as my heart keep on breaking. "I have the right to!"
"At first, I actually didn't like you but I gradually learned to love you and---"
"So why?" My voice calms down, finally, my throat hurting from all the crying and shouting. "Why did you even ask me to be your girlfriend in the first place?"
Jibeom still refuses to have eye contact. "It was a dare, a heartless and terrible dare that I didn't even hesitate to do..." He pauses and finally glances at me. "I'm really sorry for this---"
"Are you that dumb?"
"....What?"
"Playing with a girl's feelings... Are you really that idiotic?"
Jibeom's eyes water and I can't help but cry too. "I don't know..."
All the anger and madness leaves my system as sadness takes over, making me just sit down on the nearest chair, holding my head.
"Just...just get out of my sight..." I murmur.
"But Sungrin I still---"
"Did you hear what I said?" I look at him. "We're over, Jibeom."
He reluctantly, and defeatedly, went out of the room, leaving me alone in a crying mess.
That's when I shatter all over again: my sobs are unstoppable, I continue to cry up to no end. Sure, it doesn't change anything, but I still find comfort in crying. It tells me that I still have emotions intact.
It hurts me even more when memories of us together break into my mind. Memories when I was so happy and bubbly, especially with Jibeom, and memories when I felt Jibeom loved me. But now, they were all fake.
I was caught in a lie.
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Joochan sees Jibeom getting out of the room and becomes curious as to why his face is covered with what seemed to be like tears. Without a thought he runs to him to catch up.
"...Jibeom?" Joochan asks, concern etched on his face. "Are you okay? Why are you crying?"
Jibeom leans on the wall, looking at the ceiling to hinder the tears from falling. "Honestly? I shouldn't be the one you're comforting." He lets out a heartless laugh.
"Huh? What are you talking about?"
Now Jibeom looks down, trying to calm down. His guilt and conscience is swallowing him for hurting the girl he loves, but now that Sungrin knows about the secret he's been keeping, he's hurting more. The ache in his heart has gotten stronger, especially when he tries to remember the painful words that came out of your mouth after he confessed to you the truth. He knew he deserves it, and that fact made it much more painful.
"Joochan..." He pauses, trying to collect himself. "I lost now...we're over..."
Joochan, still unsure of what happened, is still confused. "Huh?"
Jibeom looks at Joochan and gave him a sad smile. "You can have her now... Besides she wouldn't even like me if I try to get her again..."
Joochan is still confused and curious, but he seems to put two and two together and sort of understood what was happening. "Where is she?"
"In the room that I just left..." Jibeom points to where it is and Joochan nods. "I'm sure you'll be able to comfort her, after all you're her bestfriend."
"Just a bestfriend," Joochan laughs bitterly. "I didn't stand a chance against you."
"Yeah, well I ruined my chance."
Joochan rolls his eyes. "I'm going to call you later and you tell me how this happened, okay?"
"Please take care of her for me."
Joochan nods and goes inside the room where Jibeom pointed to.
There he sees her, silently crying while sitting on a chair, blankly staring outside the window. The sight of her silent sobbing made Joochan's heart ache so much, and his mind told him to go to her and comfort her.
Cautiously he enters. "Sungrin?"
She removes her hand under her head and glances at the person who just entered the room. When she recognizes him, she quickly wipes the tears away to hide the fact that she had been crying. "Hey, Joochan," she greets with a croaky voice.
"Yah, why are you crying?" Joochan sits down on the chair next to her and pats her back in a comforting manner.
"I wasn't."
"You did. Your eyes are all red and your voice is cracking," Joochan enumerates as he smiles softly.
Sungrin hugs him tightly, afraid of getting hurt again. "He just told me he didn't love me..."
Oh, so that's what Jibeom said, Joochan thinks. The dare.
Joochan leans onto her so that his cheek grazes her hair. "He did love you...only later, though."
"But why now? Why tell me just now?"
"He had his reasons, Sungrin," Joochan says. "And it's okay, I'm here. I'll always be here."
He stayed with her like that. Sungrin silently crying, and Joochan just telling her comforting words as they hug each other.
"Don't worry Sungrin. I'm here, okay?" Joochan says after a while and kisses her head. "I'll always be here for you. No matter what." Joochan promises with conviction and assurance, and she nods her head.
Because I love you.
Joochan says at back of his mind. He chooses not to say that out loud because he knows her heart still belongs to Jibeom, and not him. Those unsaid words, he tries to say it but he doesn't have the confidence.
No, he ponders. I won't say it, not if she's in this state.
"I love you, Joochan," Sungrin sniffs and smiles while closing her eyes, finally relaxed and calm being with Joochan and hugging him close. "Thanks for coming into my life."
Joochan tries to smile, but he couldn't. Not after what Sungrin had just said.
I love you, Joochan.
A tear falls on Joochan's cheeks and he closes his eyes. That can't be true. She loves me as a friend only.
I am caught in a lie.
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I SUCK AT WRITING YALL WHY AM I STILL WRITING AHAHAHA
This one was lame I know I'm sorry
Idk did you find this confusing or smthng lmao im really soery
Did you like it though? :3
I think I already did a lot of Joochan oneshots AHAHAHA (I love you joochan MWA)
I love the dumb and dumber couple 😊
LIKE LOOK AT THOSE TWO VISUALS 😍😍😍
Anyways belated happy birthday, Kim Jibeom!
Also I'm really addicted with 모든 날 and LADY LIKE BITCH THOSE TWO ARE JUST THE BEST SONGS EVER I LIVE FOR THE WHOLE ALBUM ヾ(*'∀｀*)ﾉ