- Chapter 2 -
16 days before
( Lauren's P.O.V. )
I haven't spoken to Zayn since our fight yesterday, we were constantly fighting & it was incredibly tiring. But I could never let him go , I love him. Therefore, I will put myself through whatever obstacles face our relationship.
I don't usually walk out of our fights crying my eyes out , but this time Zayn really pushed my buttons way too far.
He knows specifically how that one subject hits home but he still seems to not care , from what I see.
" Lauren ? " , a deep voice called out. It was Harry. And no don't start thinking anything , I came over to Harry's later on because if Zayn even put effort into looking for me the first place he would obviously go to is my own home. Anyways, I was staying on the couch not Harry's bedroom.
" yes? " , I responded.
" are you okay ? Honestly are you okay ? " , Harry questioned with sympathy laced in his voice.
Before I got the chance to answer Harry spoke again , " and don't pull that ' I'm fine ' shit with me because you & I both know when you are and when you are not fine "
" I'm fine " ,I plainly spoke no emotion behind my voice .
" Lauren " , Harry grumbled.
" alright" , I mumbled. " I'm not fine okay ? There I said it. I'm honestly not fine whatsoever "
" what's wrong ? Tell me darling because I care so much, and it actually pains me to see you like this .. So sad yet so empty " , Harry was now sitting next to me on his couch , close but not suffocatingly close.
" it's just , we fight all the time ; Zayn & I . It's always the same thing , yet I've learned how to deal with it. He just says these things sometimes that hit me so hard and it hurts god does it hurt. I wish I could just rewind to before it all went wrong. I love Zayn I really do , but I'm afraid he doesn't love me as much as he used to like he's tired of me. And that's my worst fear : loosing someone so important to me. I mean look we've been dating for a whole year & we've known each other for 3 & he still hasn't asked me to move with him. I know that shouldn't be a big deal but for damns sake that makes me feel 100 times worse because I put these thoughts into my own mind telling myself that it's me , he hasn't asked me to move in because he doesn't want to deal with me 24/7 . When we fight I feel like I can barely breathe like he's my rock , what keeps me stable & the one that keeps me stable is actually the one knocking me down. " , my voice quietly breaking at the end as I tried to hold in my tears.
" wow that was wow I'm speechless, Lauren . I'm sorry I don't have anything to say . But Zayn is incredibly stupid because you are the perfect girl trying to keep your relationship stable he should be lucky to have someone like you. " , Harry spoke as he leaned over enveloping me into a hug.
" thanks Harry . What bothers me is that I feel something at the bottom of my gut telling me something's wrong " , I smiled hugging him back.
" do you ever feel horrible because the person you care so deeply about may not even care for you the same way? Like you're putting so much into something receiving absolutely nothing back " I sighed
Harry didn't respond he just nodded , which I think counts as a response.
After a few seconds of sitting in comfortable silence as Harry rubbed circles into my hands there was banging on his front door. I instantly knew who it was. Zayn . I think Harry knew too because he sent me an apologetic glance before standing up to open the door.
" Do you want me to let him in ? " , Harry asked.
" yea , it's fine "
Zayn barged through the door right into the living room when all Harry barely did was unlock the front door.
" Lauren " " Lauren baby " , Zayn spoke kneeling down to his knees so he could be at eye level with me since I was still sitting on the couch.
" What do you want Zayn ?! " , I hissed.
" listen I'm sorry about what happened okay I'm so sorry. We always have these fights and I always take them too far but I'm sorry alright babe "
" Zayn it's - it's just that it's always the same thing. Fight after fight & it's exhausting. In case you haven't noticed your words hurt a lot " , I sighed.
" Lauren baby I know and I'm sorry okay I just can't always control my temper and you know that. You know words just slip out of my mouth before I can even comprehend them. But I'm sorry I really am. Please come back with me , come stay the night babe. " , Zayn pleaded as he held both my hands in his.
I looked into his eyes & that's what killed me they looked so hurt , sad , vulnerable and I was causing that which gave me control for once. But knowing myself I always crack , whatever he does I don't think I'll ever stay mad and this is how deep I am , I am in so deep it's ridiculous. So it always ends like everyday , after every fight , same words coming out of my mouth time after time...
" I forgive you , Zayn. It's okay. "
" thank you Lauren thank you , love "
" Harry thanks so much for everything man , thanks for always being so amazing to Lauren when I'm not I really appreciate it. " , Zayn spoke to Harry
" Yea it's no problem " , Harry huffed as his eyebrows furrowed together.
" Well we better get going now shouldn't we , darling ? " , Zayn questioned as he held my hand leading us both to the front door.
" yes of course " , I sweetly responded
" Oh and thank you Harry thank you so much " , I spoke as I pulled Harry into a one armed hug since Zayn didn't let go of my other hand. I could feel Zayn's hold on me tighten when both of Harry's arms went around my waist.
" Alright that's enough we should get going , goodbye Harry " , Zayn angrily spoke as he literally pulled me away from Harry.
" Goodbye " , Harry waved as he shut his front door.
Zayn opened the passenger door of his black & white mustang for me and also closed it once I had gotten inside , before he closed the car door I said a quite ' thank you ' to his kind gentleman like gesture. I wasn't sure if he had heard me but I figured he did since he placed a kiss on my right cheek and muttered a ' no problem '
" Babe? " , I called out as Zayn started the car and drove out on to the road back to his house.
" Yes baby ? " , Zayn replied as he stretched his right arm out to hold my hand while still managing to drive with only one hand.
" Why were you a bit angry when Harry and I were hugging each other? "
" I wasn't angry " , Zayn sarcastically laughed.
" Yes you were , don't even try lying " , I smiled
" Alright maybe I was " ,Zayn laughed. Before I could respond , he spoke again . " but I had to be mad like seriously the way Harry looks at you just sends me over the edge sometimes "
" really ? Haha wow. Harry doesn't look at me ' that way ' he never has & I doubt he ever will " , I declared.
" You might be too oblivious to see it but I sure see it "
" Oh really ? Then how is this way that Harry looks at me that you just happen to assume "
" With lust . Like he wants to bend you over his dinner table and fuck the life out of you. Too bad that's my job not his. "