Want You Back
5 Seconds of Summer
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Kara didn't want to feel this way. She didn't want to feel upset, and guilty for what she'd said to Sirius the night before. All Kara wanted to do was sit in the Astronomy Tower and hide.
Her book and dead cell phone sat in her lap, her hair tucked behind her ear. She'd stopped reading ages ago, the thoughts of the words from the night before being too distracting. Kara sighed, reopening the book, blindly letting her eyes move across the page.
Every word they'd said to each other ran through her mind on repeat, the hurt look in his eyes plastered to her eyelids. The more she thought about him the worse she felt, but it was normal wasn't it? She felt hurt and angry when she'd think of him with others and not acknowledging their bond for years before now, so what was different? Was it because she had hurt him this time?
Kara shook her head. No, it wasn't her fault. He'd gotten what he'd deserved, right? She sighed, wishing she could talk to someone about her predicament. The guilt was beginning to become overbearing, but she would push it down and ignore it, no matter what it took. She yawned, her eyes stinging with exhaustion. Kara closed her book, standing from her seat in the window.
She turned back to the window, looking out over the grounds and leaning against the wall. Her balance wavered, her lack of sleep starting to over take her bodily functions. She pushed herself away from the wall, walking towards the spiral staircase, stumbling all the way.
Kara was halfway down the stairs when she was nearly run over by someone rushing up the stairs. They ran straight into one another, her and whoever this person was, but due to their quick reflexes she didn't find herself falling back onto the stair behind her. Whoever it was extremely warm, and she could feel their heart racing underneath her hand that had gripped itself in the fabric of their black AC/DC t-shirt.
"There you are! We've been looking for you all morning!" She heard Lily cry, her redheaded friend holding onto James' arm tightly.
Kara smiled to herself, but still taking note of Lily and James' relieved faces. She watched Remus come running up behind them, out of breath, Alice and Peter right on his heels. They were all there, but where was Sirius?
"Are you alright, love? You look like you haven't slept lately." She heard him say, his voice deep and raspy as if he'd been talking or yelling too much.
Kara looked up at his face, confused by the relief and... was that concern?... in his grey eyes. His black hair was messy and windswept as though he'd been running or flying a broom recently. Sirius was holding her against his chest, one arm wrapped around her waist, the other up against hers, her hand clasped tightly in his.
Somehow, she was just noticing, she had dropped her book, her phone sitting in her back pocket. She hadn't realized how close his face was to hers, or the fact that she didn't seem to be alright. She looked at him and nodded, letting her hand relax, and let go of his shirt, her hand slipping out of his as she stepped back.
She pushed her shock away, ignoring her heart hammering in her chest, her eyes hardening, and walls going up. She stared at Sirius long and hard, struggling to hide her shock at the raw emotion on his face. He held so much worry and relief in his expression she had to look away. How was she supposed to stay mad at him if he kept looking at her like that?
"Kara, did you even sleep last night?" He asked, reaching out to touch her face.
"Don't, Sirius. Just don't." She grabbed his hand and pushed it away, shaking her head.
"Don't what? Worry about you?" He asked, confused and hurt.
"Don't act like you care when you don't! I'm tired of the games, Sirius!" She felt the exhaustion leave her body and her adrenaline kick in.
"Games? Kara what the bloody hell are you taking about?" He argued back, defensive of his actions.
"You were the one that wanted to fix things! And then you just up and forgot about me and everything you said practically the next day! What happened to wanting to try and work this out? Was it all just some sick and twisted prank you wanted to pull?" She shouted at him, her voice cracking with the weight of a thousand different emotions.
"Kara, I get that you're upset, but-" He started, trying to explain, but not using the right words.
"Upset? You think I'm upset? Ha! Well, newsflash, I'm sick of being picked up and then thrown away! Pick one, Sirius! You care or you don't, but I'm tired of waiting." Kara sniffed, blinking back the tears that had gathered in her eyes.
She turned away, breathing in deeply, and taking the last few stairs, went down to Lily and Alice, who were standing there with tear stains on their faces. Remus turned away, suggesting Kara go get some rest before her body shut down from exhaustion. She nodded, saying a quiet thank you, and with Lily and Alice on either side of her, walked back to the common room.
The three boys turned to Sirius, watching as he picked up the book she'd dropped, his eyes tracing over the title. His hands held it tightly as he opened the front cover, flipping the pages quickly. He'd never suspected her to be one to enjoy fantasy novels. Especially when she already knew the creatures existed in real life and didn't look a thing like the novels description.
"Sirius, mate, you alright?" Remus asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." Sirius nodded, not looking up from the page he was looking at.
"You find something interesting, mate?" James laughed, trying to lighten the mood.
"Yeah, I did actually. Look at this." He showed James a small card, obviously serving as her bookmark, written all over the back.
Sirius flipped it over, the three boys crowding over his shoulders to look at it. It was a picture of Kara someone had taken when she wasn't paying attention. Her hair was loose, and flowing down her shoulders, a smile on her lips, her eyes full of happiness among many other emotions, her cheeks and the tips of her ears pink. Warmth at how happy she looked flooded through his body, making him smile.
"What's the back say?" Peter asked, him, James and Remus looking at Sirius.
"Not sure." He responded flipping it over, and starting to read.
"Let me see!" James reached around, trying to snatch the pictures from Sirius.
"Just a minute, Prongs! Oh." He shoved James' hand away, his eyes widening at the words he was reading.
"What? You can't just say oh and not say anything else, Padfoot!" Peter inquired, feeling suddenly very nosy.
"Whoever sent her this is talking about her talking about me." Sirius looked up, handing the photo to Remus to inspect.
"'You looked so happy telling us about him that Mum made me snap a picture. They really want to meet him, Kara. You talk so much about him to our sister and I that I don't blame them. I know you're afraid, and you don't know what to do, but if Sirius is really sincere you'll know. Soulmates are difficult I know, but it's going to take time. Call me the next time you go to Hogsmeade, and we can talk. Much love, your favorite brother.'" Remus read aloud, handing James the photo next.
"I didn't know she had a brother, or a sister for that matter." James said, looking at the photo closely, and handing it to Peter.
"Yeah. Her brother is her twin and the oldest of the three of them." Remus smiled, thinking about her family she'd mentioned on occasion.
"So...What're you going to do with it?" James asked, holding the photo between two fingers.
"Give it back, obviously." Sirius shrugged walking down the steps, and turning to his friends.
"She's right y'know. You really need to talk to her and fix things before she really gives up." Remus said, following him down the stairs.
"And you're going to have to find a way to get her to talk to you, or get her alone when she's with Lily and Alice." James added, running a hand through his hair as the four of them walked down the hall.
"I think I have an idea." Peter spoke up, a mischievous glint in his eye spreading to the rest.
The Marauders looked at each other, grinning. They'd need to be really convincing to pull this off.
***
"Kara. Kara, wake up." Alice shook Kara's shoulder, trying to wake her up to go down to lunch.
She stirred, blinking a few times, and yawning. She sat up slowly, looking at Alice who was sitting at the foot of the bed.
"What time is it?" She asked, rubbing her eyes and trying her hardest to wake up.
"About noon. You've been sleeping for about four and a half hours." Alice spoke softly, concern still written all over her face.
"Alice, I'm fine. I'm sorry you and Lily had to see me lose it with him." Kara apologized, taking Alice's hand and giving it a squeeze.
"Why're you apologizing? You had every right to call him out, and you did. Which is good because maybe now he'll get his act together." She squeezed Kara's hand back, giving her a hopeful and reassuring smile.
"Thanks, Alice. We should head down shouldn't we?" She smiled back, pulling back the covers and standing up.
"We should. You ready?" Alice walked to the door, opened it and took a step out of their room.
"Absolutely." Kara smiled and nodded, mentally preparing herself to encounter her soulmate.
The pair walked down the steps to the common room, smiling and laughing when a small, paper crane flew into Kara's face, flapping its wings until she reached up and took it from the air. She looked at the wing, unfolding the crane as instructed by the handwriting. She looked up, trying to find who might have sent the note.
She stopped, making eye contact with Sirius from across the room. They held each other's gaze for a moment or two before James tapped his shoulder and made him look away.
"Kara?" Alice asked, touching her arm softly.
"Hm? Oh, I'm sorry, Alice. Let's head down to lunch." Kara smiled at Alice, folding the note up, and placing it in her pocket.
"What was that?" Alice asked excitedly, giggling and smiling widely.
"The note? It's not important, really. It's just-" Kara laughed, tucking her hair behind her ear, and looking away.
"From Sirius? And that look! Kara, you should've seen the way he was looking at you when you were reading it!" Alice giggled, opening the portrait hole door and stepping through it.
"What? What'd you mean the way he was looking at me? Alice!" Kara stopped at the entrance, running out after Alice.
"Kara, he looked like a bowtruckle who'd just found their tree!" Alice said, her voice breaking into a breathy laugh.
"What?" Kara felt her face heat up, her eyes wide and heart beating a tad faster.
"Your face is so red!" Alice laughed, stopping as the stairs decided to move.
"Hey, Greenwright! Wait up!" Someone yelled, making them turn away from the bottom of the stairs to look at the speaker.
"Oh, hello James. Everything alright?" Kara asked, taking a deep breath and trying to calm herself down.
"Everything's fine! You get the note?" James asked, a mischievous glint missing from his eye.
"Yes, I did. It was from-" She looked at him curiously, suspicious of his intentions.
"Sirius. It was from Sirius. Kara you really should go, tonight. It's really important that you do, I know he has quite a bit to say. Just hear him out and let him explain." James pleaded, putting a hand on her shoulder, a worried yet confident look on his face.
"I was planning on it. I have plenty of things to tell him, too. James, I already know about what happened with his family, word spread like wildfire after Marlene told one of the fourth years last year." Kara frowned, remembering how awful she'd felt after she'd found out.
"So she was the one that told everyone! You're going to want to mention that to him, she told all of us that you had eavesdropped on her conversation with someone about it and told everyone. I didn't believe her, but Sirius, he was really hurt." James said, his eyebrows coming together as he frowned.
"I wouldn't have. I swear, James I never did that. I would never do that to him." Kara shook her head in disbelief, Alice nodding in agreement.
"Marlene told us about what happened and even had a letter in her hand. I'm fairly certain it was Sirius', it had his name on it." Alice added, turning back to the landing and stepping off, James and Kara following her.
"I never liked her, y'know. She was never nice to any of us unless Sirius was around. I don't even know how she got the letter, Sirius wouldn't even go anywhere with her last year, let alone let her into our dorm. Which he's never done, by the way." James added, following Alice as he and Kara spoke.
James smiled at the two girls and said goodbye, going and sitting down with Peter and Remus. They smiled back, saying goodbye, Kara waved at Peter and Remus as she and Alice went to sit with Lily. They sat down, Lily launching into a full scale rant about how idiotic the third years were at times, and how frustrating James Potter was becoming. Alice laughed, telling her Frank, Alice's soulmate, was often too chivalrous, much like James being too confident at times.
Kara smiled, wondering if she would be talking like this if she and Sirius were closer. She looked up as Sirius walked into the Great Hall and sat down. Kara looked at him and smiled, deciding she was going to meet with Sirius, and she was going to get the explanation she'd been looking for since their third year.
***
The Gryffindor common room was unusually empty for eight o'clock on a Saturday night. Kara peered out of the corner of her eye at the notice board, wondering when James would put up the list for Quidditch. Sirius would be put on the team, it was a given, Kara knew, but what about herself? Had she blown her chance?
She stared at the fire as it crackled and popped, her blanket her mother had sent draped over her legs, and her kitten in her lap, purring as she scratched her neck. She blinked, someone saying her name ripping her from her reverie. She looked to her right to see Sirius standing at the other end of the sofa, a worried look on his face.
"Sirius." She said, trying to hide her disbelief.
"You came." He smiled, standing up a bit straighter.
"Of course I came." She let out a breathy laugh, her cheeks a slight tint of pink, and patted the seat next to her.
He smiled at her again, sitting down next to her. She turned and tucking her legs underneath herself. Her kitten stretched, standing up and hopping off Kara's lap to lay down on the cushion between her and Sirius.
"Before you say anything, I want to know something." Kara stated, folding her hands in her lap.
"Anything." Sirius said, looking at her, and knowing he was vulnerable.
"Why did you abandon me in our third year?" She asked, trying to hide the emotion in her voice, in her eyes, and on her face.