june|1983
jimin watched a leaf fall from the tall tree above his head. it was falling onto his paper that he was writing on with a little pink, glittery pencil. little jimin delicately picked up the leaf, and put it on the grass beside his crossed legs.
he put his pencil to the little notebook, which he never let anyone see. his little diary. he was made fun of the last time people found out that a boy had a diary, so he pretended like it wasn't his, and threw it in the trash.
he didn't let anyone know about this one.
6.5.83 - sunday
that cute seventh grader is here. at the park playing basketball. i don't know who he's with but he's here with two other boys.
i like his hair, it's white. i think he just dyed it because school got out.
i'm sitting under a tree, the one that taehyung climbed last summer. it's a perfect view to see them, but they can't see me. i don't want them too. i don't want to look like some kind of stalker who likes looking at them play sports. "that one fifth grader."
well, it's sixth grader now, i think. it's the summer.
taehyung is going to camp this summer, so i won't be able to see him much. i hope jin hyung lets me come to the park more often.
jimin heard the laughter of the boys from the court to the tree. he thought the white haired boy had a nice laugh. he didn't look up; he couldn't or else he would have been seen.
jimin's heart faltered a bit when a bunch of high school girls passed them, and they tried their best to be charming with gross cat calls and remarks. jimin's smile was gone in seconds.
he scribbled the last sentence out.
i hope jin hyung doesn't let me come back.
∞
july|1983
jimin's little hands were holding onto the pocket holes in his shorts, his legs kicking from the porch. he was just small enough that he couldn't reach the grass below with the tips of his toes.
the little fifth grader's best friend went off to summer camp less than an hour ago. jimin had walked with him to their school where he was picked up by the bus, and had only gotten back to his own house minutes ago.
jimin turned around slightly when he heard the door opening. he watched as his older brother, seokjin, quickly stepping down the porch steps onto the concrete sidewalk. jimin pouted a little when he saw his hyung pick up his bike from the lawn and go to the end of the street.
his brother looked up and caught eyes with jimin, "why are you here? i thought you were at tae's."
the younger twiddled his thumbs. he was bored; he was always with tae and forgot everything he did without him, "he left today. he told me he's going to call once he gets there, but it'll be a little longer."
jin felt bad. he was a good older brother. jin and jimin's parents were constantly at work until dinner, and before they wake up. jin basically raised jimin, who knows how to fend for himself alone anyway.
jin kicked his leg over the bike, nodding his head to the back of it. "i'm going to be babysitting for a while, if you wanna come." jin's summer job was always babysitting; yet another reason why jin was so good with his little brother. he babysat a nine year old, jeon jungkook, who had a massive crush on the fourteen year old who took care of him during the summers. obviously, it wasn't mutual, but jimin thought it was awkward, so he never went.
jimin shook his head lightly as he kicked his legs a little harder. now he didn't even have the option of annoying his brother for fun. but he wasn't about to hang out with a nine year old for entertainment either. jungkook was mature, but was still a nine year old who enjoyed nine year old things.
"you sure?" seokjin asked. jimin nodded, and jin began to peddle off, leaving jimin alone on his porch.
the sun casted an almost painful ray onto jimin's light skin, as he sat alone. he enjoyed sitting outside, it gave him time to think about things. other eleven year olds were always rushing to the tv or off to play with their friends, but jimin liked to sit and think. besides his only line of entertainment, taehyung, he wrote things down in his light blue notebook, and dreamed.
"no, you're a liar!"
jimin's head shot up for the second time in a couple of minutes. he looked around for a couple of seconds, around the corner of his house, and around the end of the street.
he swallowed a bit of his saliva. he didn't move though, he didn't want attention drawn to himself.
"fuck you!" he heard, the voices getting closer to his house. they were in the middle of the street, and jimin resisted staring. they were the kids from the park who played basketball. jimin hadn't been back to the park since the day he saw them flirting with upperclassmen. his wish had come true, and jin didn't let him go anymore.
jimin blushed when he caught eyes with one of the boys who was holding the basketball that they were probably playing with all day. he looked down slightly.
"i'll don't believe me? i'll show you," he said. he dribbled the basketball a couple times, and he was looking at jimin. "hey, kid, can you catch?"
jimin's eyebrows raised at recognition. they were still in the street. jimin nodded without thinking. the other two boys were behind him, and they were just watching. "heads up!"
∞
7.16.83 - saturday
his name is min yoongi. the boy i was watching at the park who played basketball last month. white haired boy. his hair is fading now, though, it's black at the roots.
he's cuter up close. he threw a basketball at me earlier today, and I actually caught it! he's good at it.
and i didn't know he was neighbors with taehyung! he said he's seen me go into tae's house a couple times. that's a little embarrassing.. his friends were nice too, but they were in sixth grade. namjoon hyung and hoseok hyung.
i might beg jin hyung to let me go to the park again. i like yoongi.
∞
7.17.83 - sunday
do yoongi hyung and his friends come to park every single day? i've been here for about an hour, and they still haven't left, and they were here when i showed up.
no wonder he's so fit, and good loo-
"hey!"
jimin whipped his head around so fast he was surprised it didn't sting afterwards. his twitchy hands closed his notebook quickly, placing it by his leg that was facing the tree. yoongi couldn't see it.
"what are you doing back here?"
jimin's face was now red, looking at his crush so close, not to mention he was leaning against the tree at such an angle that made jimin's actions get more twitchy the more he stared.
"i-i.. u-um.."
"yoongi! what the fuck are you waiting for, man?" jimin took the time that yoongi was looking back at his friends, to slide the little notebook under his bum, sitting on it just in case yoongi caught a glance.
jimin didn't want yoongi to think he was a weirdo.
or a faggot like others called him.
yoongi looked back and bit his bottom lip, and jimin had to control his nerves, and he wanted to pull the top of his shirt to his eyes to cover his blush.
"are you okay? you look lonely.. and scared."
jimin swallowed the fear in his throat and nodded his head. yoongi's eyes were simply looking at the fifth grader, though jimin felt like he was being stabbed with how much admiration he had to yoongi, who as finally looking at him. he felt the same the day before, only yoongi's friends were with him to make it less intense.
jimin couldn't explain how much he liked yoongi in a jersey, which he hasn't worn in ages. it was the hottest days of the summer though, and usually his shirt was just plain off by now.
yoongi walked a little farther away from jimin to pick up the basketball that had rolled over, and tossed it in his hands.
"if you need anything, i'm just on the courts, okay?" yoongi smiled and jimin was overwhelmed. he didn't look at him anymore. "be safe when you leave."
jimin waited until yoongi was long gone, and he began to cry a little. he was overwhelmed, and he was definitely not ready for something like that to happen.
he opened his notebook again.
i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him