Zach:
I hesitantly blocked Deja on all of my social media. I thought it'd be the best if we just cut off all communication. We were living two completely different lives and in my full on opinion, we'd be better off not knowing each other. I forgot everything Deja meant to me. I decided to destroy all past memories of her because I didn't need them there to be a reminder of where I went wrong.
I deleted every picture, every message, every piece of Deja that I had left. It was for the best anyway.
Bridget has been calling my phone non-stop for the past 2 days. She tells me she's sorry and that she messed up. And I forgave her, but I didn't want her back.
I felt a lot more happy without a girl in my life. I didn't have to worry about making sure she knows I love her or trying not to mess things up with her. I could focus on my music and what make me happy.
For a while I thought the love of a girlfriend was what made me who I am. But it wasn't. I wasn't happy being torn in pieces and shoved to the ground. I was happy with just me and my boys. It took me a while to find who I wanted to be, but sometimes you gotta lose yourself to find yourself.
Even if it means throwing away the worst in you even if you thought it was the best for you. Throwing away my love for Deja made me realize, I'm still me with or without love. And love was the one thing that always brought out the best in me, but it was also what brought out the worst.
"Zach, what are you thinking about?" Jack asked as we sat in out hotel room.
"What?"
"You look like you're in deep thought..."
"I'm thinking about life," I said.
"What about it?"
"Isn't it crazy how love can change a person?" I asked. He looked at me.
"I totally agree buddy," Corbyn said with a sigh.
"Like one day, you think you know yourself, but then someone special come around and totally knocks you out of your place and make you realize that you don't really know who you are..."
"You sound like a girl, my dude," Daniel said.
"I don't know. I thought I knew who I was, but then I fell in love and now I know who I really am."
"Love can change a person," Corbyn said.
"It really can..."
"Who are you in love with?" Jonah asked.
"No one really right now... but I was in love with someone who totally changed me for a better."
"Who?"
"Deja..."
They all groaned and rolled their eyes.
"No guys, I'm not in love with her anymore. She just made me a better person and she made me find who I really am," I said. The still rolled their eyes.
Deja:
I took Hashbrown for another walk. This time Chloe joined us. Jayden was volunteering at the aquarium today. I thought it was pretty cute.
"I miss him so much," Chloe said as we walked through the park.
"Who?"
"Jack!"
"I miss him too," I said.
"You don't get it though... I love him..."
"You've only talked to him twice, Chloe." I laughed a little.
"No, I talk to him a lot."
"Yeah, over snap chat, but he's only ever talked to you in person twice."
"I still love him," She said. I laughed.
"Have you ever confessed your feelings for him?" I asked.
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm scared he doesn't like me. He could have any girl in the world!"
"And you can have any guy in the world!"
She just sat there quietly. I'm pretty sure she was thinking about what I just said. About an eternity of sitting and thinking, she finally spoke up.
"I mean, I guess..."
"Really, you spent a thousand years to say, I mean I guess?"
She nodded and I just rolled my eyes.
"I should get a job," I said.
"What?"
"Yeah, since everyone is so busy, I should just find a job!" I smiled.
We walked out of the park and towards the busy roads where all the stores were so we could get something to eat.
"I don't think that's a good idea," Chloe said. We walked into a gas station to buy chips and drinks.
"Why?"
"Well, it'll take your mind off of school. And you're already busy after school with basketball."
I sighed. "But everyone's so busy!"
"I know," she said.
"No, you don't. You're always at cheer practice and journalism!"
"You should join journalism!" She smiled.
"No thanks," I said.
"Come on! You can take pictures and stuff. And you said you want to be a sports photographer when you graduate! So, just start taking pictures at games!"
"I know, but how am I supposed to take pictures and play at the same time?" I asked.
"Do it when you're on the bench," she said.
"I only get taken out of the game 2 times. I'm in for most of the game unless I foul out which I rarely ever do," I said.
"You'll find something to do, but a job just doesn't sound right," she said. I just shrugged and agreed.
We had a long walk home, talking about random things and how life was for the both of us so far. Hashbrown just stared at the bright street lights.
We walked to Chloe's house and I said goodnight before walking home with Hashbrown. I got to my front yard and I already noticed something wrong. All the lights of the house except for one. And this light I made sure to double check was off.
Bridget wasn't home, Brianna wasn't home and neither was my dad. But my fairy lights were on. But they seemed a lot brighter than usual. I walked to the front door and tried turning the doorknob. It was surprisingly unlocked. I touched the lanyard that was holding my house keys. I was starting to worry because I locked the house and turned off all the lights when I left.
I slowly crept into the house. Hashbrown was being quiet too, but he was smelling something. I didn't turn on the lights. I quietly unhooked Hashbrown's leash and set it down on the couch. I quietly took the lanyard off my neck and placed it on the couch next to Hashbrown's leash.
I was about to walk up the stairs when Hashbrown cut me off and ran up before me. I heard Hashbrown barking loudly from the room. My heart began pounding when Hashbrown's bark was cut off. I ran up the stairs quietly and peeked my head into the room. I slowly walked in. In my head, I imagined a killer standing there with Hashbrown in his arms.
I walked in and saw that there were more fairy lights decorating the room. And from each fairy light, a Polaroid picture or sticky note was pinned. The floor of the room was covered in gold and white balloons.
"So, uh, are you just gonna stand there?" I smiled when I heard Jayden's voice from behind. I turned and saw his head peeking out from my sliding door closet. I laughed a little.
"What are you doing in my closet?" I asked.
"Hiding..." I laughed. He pushed the sliding door aside and ran out tackling me right onto my bed which was covered with gold and white confetti. "Surprise!" He yelled still lying on top of me.
I smiled and messed up his hair a little bit. He just smiled and kissed my forehead.
"Okay, you can get off of me now," I said.
"Nah..." He hugged my body tight. I just sighed and played with his hair. He softly stroked my shoulder with his thumb.
"What's all of this for?" I asked.
He just shrugged. "You just deserve to be appreciated."
"For what?"
"You just deserve to be appreciated every day."
"Jayden, what's all of this for?" I asked. "I'm being serious."
"Well," He said getting off of me. He walked over to my dresser and grabbed something. I sat up to see what he was grabbing.
I sat on the edge of my bed with my legs hanging off.
"I've been so busy with school and Noah. And I haven't had any time to spend with you. So, I decided to decorate your room and show you that I still care. I may not spend as much time hanging out with you, but I'll never stop caring about you."
"I know," I said.
"No, I have to make it clear that I'm not forgetting about us. So, I took every picture we've ever taken and made them polaroids. And I know how much you love poetry and sticky notes, so I wrote poems on every single sticky note."
"I love it, but you didn't have to..."
"You have to be appreciated and loved."
"Yeah, but you can just tell me," I said.
"Words wouldn't be enough to express how much I love and appreciate you," He said. "And thank you."
"For what?" I asked.
"For just being you."
"You're so weird," I said. "But I love you."
He laughed a little.
"And..."
"And what?"
"And we haven't had a movie night in a long time, so I bought pizza and my laptop so we can watch movies in your cute decorated room."
I laughed. He covered his ears like usual.
"I love you so much," He said crawling into the bed next to me.
"I love you too."
"Oh, I almost forgot," He said. He clicked on this little white remote thing. The lights began twinkling. He switched off the room light so it was dark with the lights just twinkling. I smiled.
"I love it," I said.
"I love you..."
"Stop being cheesy, you dork."
"I'm only cheesy for you," He said with a smile. I rolled my eyes and shoved him off the bed. I laughed as he sat there and pouted. I swung my legs off the side of the bed facing him.
He sat there.
"Come here, you baby," I said giving him a hand.
He happily smiled and took my hand. I pulled him up and he rolled onto the bed. He rolled onto me and just lied on top of me.
"Jayden! Get off!" I laughed.
"I'm so comfy though!" He yelled not moving.
I just found a way to be comfortable and he started the movie.
"What movie are we watching?" I asked.
"Let's watch home," he said with a smile.
"Okay," I said. His head was on my stomach.
"I can hear the inside of your stomach," He said laughing a little and placing his ear on my stomach. I just laughed a little.
He set the laptop down so we could both see it and I played with his hair while he continued to listen. I just smiled. Hashbrown joined us on the bed.
"Jayden?" He hummed in response. "How did you get in my house without a key?"
"That's classified."
I just shook my head and smiled. He looked up at me and made a kissy face.
I sat up a little so his head was in my lap. He smiled up at me and made another kissy face.
I just squeezed his cheeks making him smile. His dimples showed. I gave him the kiss he wanted. He smiled a huge smile before turning and watching the movie.
Why does he drive me so crazy?