A/N=
1)InspiritRona has requested for RapSoul with the song ''Doll'' by Lovelyz
Thank you for requesting and please do let me know how it is!
Any requests anyone has then just comment and I'll add it in for you :D
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Do you know? I can't fall asleep
Soojung sighed to herself as she poured hot water onto the cup she just grabbed, making herself a hot green tea, before getting out of the kitchen with the drink in her hand. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was way past midnight, nearly two in the morning to be accurate but there wasn't even an ounce of her that felt like sleeping.
She recalled how it's been a usual pattern nowadays where she would get to bed mostly around midnight and try to sleep like her other members but unfortunately for her, hours past by yet all she did was turn around in a few sleeping positions and try to fall asleep. She even tried to count sheeps or not move for a few minutes to see if that would do the trick but it didn't do anything for her at all.
Do you know? I can't have a dream
Whilst browsing her phone and looking up on how to fall asleep, she saw that a hot drink could do the trick so here she was, seating on the sofa with a hot drink in her hand and her eyes looking out at the night view sky as she acknowledged her thoughts and wondered about things.
Soojung thought about a lot of things regarding her current situation, she wasn't sure exactly how to deal with it since this was her first time but she knew she wasn't the first one to go through this situation. She knew this was mandatory to go through and she had to comply with the law but she wished it wasn't this long. Was it really this hard to be away from someone in a situation like this?
Before she could overthink too much about it, she felt a hand on her shoulder, causing her to be startled as she looked to see who it was.
You have a dream peacefully, I stay awake all night
''Myungeun, you scared me!'' Soojung felt relief as she let a breath out of her mouth. ''What are you doing up so late?''
''I was about to go to the toilet but I saw you sitting here by yourself.'' Myungeun answered, sitting down next to her. ''Don't tell me you can't sleep once again?''
''I've tried for about two hours but I just can't seem to be able to sleep.'' Soojung groaned, feeling frustrated. ''Is it really this hard to sleep?''
''I think you're overthinking because of him hence why you can't sleep!'' Myungeun told her the obvious. ''You know every man in South Korea has to go through the two year military service and celebrities aren't any exemption from this! Namjoon oppa's just doing what he has to do and I know it's hard for you right now since you can't see him for the next two years at all!''
''I know he has to do it....there's a part of me that's proud yet another that wishes this didn't exist at all.'' Soojung looked down on the ground. ''I just can't help but wonder how is it going for him? Is he doing well there? Has he managed to adjust well or is he struggling with everything, including the long distance relationship, like I am?''
Even if I'm not in your arms, you fall asleep comfortably
''Overthinking things like this isn't going to help you at all.'' Myungeun reminded her. ''If it's doing anything, it's causing you to stress too much and making you sleep less! We only get a few hours of sleep anyway before we have to go through another busy day of schedule so you should get as much sleep as you can!''
''I know, I know!'' Soojung sighed as she stood up to look out at the view of the window and observe the inactive and quiet streets. ''I do this to myself but I miss him so much Myungeun! I know I should be sleeping like normal as it's been two months since he's been gone--''
''Yet you're still acting as if he was gone yesterday.'' Myungeun tried to make her understand. ''I understand you are struggling to adjust with the new changes but you can't ruin your health in the meanwhile! With the little sleep you have, I'm surprised you haven't fainted yet!''
''I wonder if he's sleeping right now...'' Soojung muttered out of her mouth as she watched a car drive by the street.
''I'm sure his body has adjusted to sleep on par with the schedule and so should you!'' Myungeun walked over to grab her hand. ''Now come on, let's go to sleep.''
That girl who dances on TV
The eight girls danced in sync before they stopped in their ending pose as the last few seconds of music started to dim down, their choreographer and manager watching to make sure they didn't break character or was out of place regarding both dance moves and stage presence.
''That's a wrap for now!'' The choreographer nodded her head. ''Let's take five before we come back to practice again!''
''Girls, take a break!'' The manager quickly clapped his hand once.
Soojung stood still with her hands on her thighs, trying to catch her breath over the tiring choreography they just did. She inhaled deeply before exhaling out the oxygen, trying to make herself more awake, and grabbed hold of the bottle she saw nearby. Myungeun watched her leader drink some water and knew the lack of sleep was taking a toll on her, she looked even more tired than she did a few days ago.
''I don't know whether to tell the manager to let Soojung unnie go home to rest or not?'' Myungeun looked to see Kei was watching her like she was. ''She looks like she has no energy at all.''
''She tries to look tougher for us even though I wish she would just be downright honest about how she is, right now.'' Jiae agreed.
''You know she doesn't want to let us down by skipping any practice.'' Myungeun replied. ''She would hate to be the reason to delay the comeback or make us spend more time on practice.''
''I wouldn't care if we had to.'' Jiae responded back. ''As long as we have our leader in good health!''
A doll in the corner of the room, I'm quietly waiting for you
The three girls watched Soojung walk towards the corner of the dance room, taking a look out of the window for a quick second before she sat down. Sadness was obvious on her face as she played with her phone. They could tell she was taking this long distance relationship thing quite badly as if a break up happened.
''I'll talk to her!'' Jiae assured the younger girls.
Jiae walked over to where her leader was and like she expected, Soojung was looking at images of Namjoon online. Soojung looked up to see it was Jiae standing near her before she sat down next to her.
''How are you doing, Soojung unnie?'' Jiae wrapped her arm around Soojung, who leaned her head down on Jiae's shoulder. ''Not too well?''
''I didn't expect it to be this hard.'' Soojung sighed, staring at the wall.
''We didn't expect you to take it this hard either but it will be alright! I know it's easy for us to say but after 2 years, you'll see him again.'' Jiae reminded her the crucial fact. ''I bet Namjoon oppa's missing you too and he should be proud to have such a devoted girlfriend, who loves him so much!''
''Thank you, Jiae.'' Soojung smiled at her friend.
I know I look like that girl, I know that girl looks like me
''But before he comes out, you ought to change yourself.'' Jiae told her before getting out her mirror.
''Change myself? What do you mean?'' Soojung wondered what she was telling her.
Jiae held the mirror in front of Soojung's face, making the girl to stare at her reflection.
''Look how lifeless your face has become.'' Jiae told her. ''Do you think Namjoon oppa would be happy to see you like this?''
Soojung stared at herself, looking at her imperfections and her skin definitely looked lifeless than the last time she had seen it. Was her face looking like this ever since Namjoon left? She was lucky that there wasn't much dark circles on her face for now.
''We need not only your face but you to be full of life and energy! You're going to need it during our comeback!'' Jiae advised her.
''You're right!'' Soojung's hands went through her face and hair as she let out her breath.
I am your doll, I'm still waiting for you
Yein the maknae watched the two eldest female members interact, wondering if there was anything she could do to help her leader. She glanced at the other members and noticed only Myungeun and Kei was observing them too. The others were probably busy with their phones, trying to utilise the minimum free time they had before another few hours of practice.
''Is unnie okay?'' Yein questioned her two elders. ''She looks like she's going to cry soon.''
''She's doing fine, maknae.'' Myungeun assured. ''She just misses Namjoon oppa that's all.''
''She's been like this for two months now.'' Yein sadly spoke as she continued to look at Soojung.
''How did you know?'' Myungeun looked at her with a surprised look.
''I hear her at times when she goes outside the bedroom late at night and sometimes I even hear her cry...'' Yein confessed. ''She's been taking this harder than I thought she would.''
''Our Yein may be young but she is a lot more mature and observant than we think.'' Kei smiled, smoothing Yein's hair with her hand.
''I wish there's something we can do to help her.'' Yein pouted, feeling unhappy to see her leader struggle like this.
Suddenly a flashlight popped over Myungeun's head as an idea got to her, making her smile as she got up to walk out of the door. She had to talk to someone over the idea she abruptly got and if this was accepted then Soojung would have the happiest smile on her face.
I am a doll who can't talk
Soojung was nervous but she couldn't have felt more grateful for this moment. Before the curtains had gone up, the girls were already standing in their position as they anticipated for the show to begin soon. They had a few minutes to speak to each other before it was show time, causing Soojung to walk over to Myungeun and hug her as tightly as she could.
''Thank you Myungeun!'' Soojung smiled happily. ''But how did you manage to do this?''
''This was the only way I could help you meet Namjoon oppa without being suspicious, it's a miracle that our manager was convinced with the idea of performing in front of the army.'' Myungeun smiled. ''This may not be the first time we perform our new comeback to an audience but this one is the one that counts for you so give it your all, unnie!''
''You can do it, leader!'' The rest of the girls cheered on.
''Girls, get back into position!'' The manager ordered as it was almost time for their performance. ''We're performing in ten seconds!''
Myungeun had managed to convince the manager, who convinced the CEO of their company, about the idea of performing in front of the army to promote their new song and to also show appreciation to them for their hard work and efforts. While this was not the aim of what Myungeun really had in mind, she was thankful that the manager fell for this reason and she was able to make Soojung closer to Namjoon.
I stop and keep looking at her
The girls saw the curtains rising upwards, it was time for them to perform in front of the hundreds of soldiers that were in the room and was waiting for the performance to begin any second soon. Soojung looked around, her eyes searching for her boyfriend and wanting to feel proud to see him in his uniform yet she couldn't find him at all, the lights hadn't come up yet.
Before she could focus on searching for him, she heard Kei humming as she moved forward. She had to focus and keep in sync with her members, she couldn't disappoint any of them especially not Myungeun and their manager, who had helped her get this opportunity in the first place. She heard cheers and screams of joy as she and her members all danced in sync during the mini dance break they had before Jisoo sang the first line of the title song.
Luckily for Soojung, she could just stand still with three of her members as the other half of the group danced and sang in their mini-group for a few seconds, making her to look around and behold, she saw her boyfriend smiling happily as he stared at her.
Even when I'm smiling towards you
Before she could smile wider or become emotional, she got back into the performance as it was now her and the other three members turn to dance for a few seconds before the eight girls joined into one big group and danced and sang during their chorus. The reaction of the crowd was a lot more positive than they expected, they could see soldiers fangirling and staring at them in amazement as well as cheering and yelling their names with joy.
Whilst the other girls looked ahead as they performed, Soojung kept glancing over at Namjoon whenever she had the chance to. She missed him so much and felt so happy to be performing in front of him. She felt grateful to see him cheer her group on with a great big smile on his face, she missed his goofy self a lot more than she thought she did.
When it was Soojung's turn to sing her part, she glanced over at Namjoon and held her attention at him for a quick three seconds before she looked elsewhere at other soldiers to not make it suspicious and obvious about what was happening between her and Namjoon. She felt happy when she sang alone for ten seconds, trying her best to showcase her voice to the crowd.
Do you know? I can't move my feet
After their performance and the members interacting with the soldiers via the microphone, they had a few minutes left to speak to some of the soldiers and a lot of them were waiting in line to speak to them even though very few soldiers would have the chance too. Soojung looked around yet it was so crowded that she couldn't see where her boyfriend was at all.
She expressed to the manager that she wanted to go to the toilet, letting one of the assistants to lead her to the closest one. Before she went in, she insisted the assistant to go back and that she could manage to find her way back. At first the assistant refused but after a few times of insisting that she could manage to go back on her own, the assistant decided to agree to her demand.
After Soojung was done, she was about to go back when she heard someone make a sound which caused Soojung to look around the empty corridor to see who it was.
''I'm here!'' Namjoon quickly poked his head out of a storage room door, causing Soojung to hurry over to him so she could go inside.
Do you know? I can't speak a word
After Namjoon closed the door, Soojung immediately embraced him with joy. She had missed him so much and she felt like a similar feeling to home when she felt Namjoon's long arms wrapped around her and his head rested on her head. His smile suddenly started to die down as he lifted his head when he heard a sound as if Soojung was crying.
''Soojung, are you okay?'' Namjoon asked, seeing her face covered between her palms.
Soojung shook her head before wiping her tears. ''I-I'm sorry! I just missed you a lot!''
''Oh Soojung, I missed you too!'' Namjoon smiled.
''It's getting hard for me, Namjoon!'' Soojung sadly told him. ''These two months have been so hard, I don't know how I can last another twenty two months without you.''
You stay the way I first saw you
''I know!'' Namjoon sighed before he smiled at her again. ''But don't worry, I'll be out in no time! Whereas for you, just do your best with your career!''
''I will do, you do your best in here too!'' Soojung smiled back at him. ''I kinda wish you don't have to do this but I'm still proud of you to do it!''
''It gets tiring but I'll manage.'' Namjoon assured her. ''Keep doing what you're doing with Lovelyz! You guys have been doing great with your comeback, you make me proud too Soojung! Just make sure to change one thing!''
''What?'' Soojung looked at his face, curious to know what it was.
''Sometimes I don't see you smiling as you usually do on your interviews and live performances!'' Namjoon did a cute pout, causing her to giggle. ''Just make sure to smile all the time, I'll be supporting you from here!''
''You're still the supportive and caring boyfriend!'' Soojung hugged him tightly once again.
I'm peacefully waiting for you
''As much as I want you to stay here, I think you should go before they get suspicious of you taking so long!'' Namjoon told her. ''I only managed to get here after giving an excuse that I have to get some stuff in my room.''
''I'll wait for you on the outside!'' Soojung held his hand, wanting a last touch of him.
''Only twenty two more months!'' Namjoon smiled at her as he held her hand tightly.
''Bye!'' Soojung let go of Namjoon's hand and looked at him one last time before she went outside the storage room.
Namjoon decided to stay inside for a minute or two so that they weren't seen with each other and it was a good thing he did that as Soojung was near the toilets, which were opposite the storage room, when she heard her manager call her name.
''There you are, Soojung!'' The manager grumbled. ''The members are all in the van! I was looking for you! Where were you?''
''I got lost!'' Soojung sheepishly smiled as she lied to her manager but she had no regrets of lying or making her members wait since it was for a reason that her smile never left her face.
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Author-Nim=Thank you very much for reading the 45th drabble of the BangLyz drabbles series dedicated to RapSoul!
This chapter was inspired by the song ''Doll'' by Lovelyz.
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