Dan hadn't spoken to Chris since his birthday, and if he was being honest, it was because he was slightly scared to. They hadn't exactly parted in a good way, and he didn't know if Chris was still mad at him or not.
There was a phone in the big building at the front of the camp that people could use to call their friends or family, but since it was usually crowded with other campers who wanted to laugh and gossip and cry about their time here, Dan had never really put in an effort to use it. He had to try though, because as much as he was reluctant to face his friends anger or dismissal, he had some important stuff that he could only tell Chris.
So he was awake early in the morning, and luckily enough, the line wasn't completely wrapped around the building yet. It was his turn for the phone in less than an hour.
He entered the phone number from memory, and while it was ringing, it occurred to him that Chris might not even pick up. He didn't usually answer calls from numbers he didn't know, and Dan had no way of telling him. But it was 7 in the morning, and Chris probably didn't care enough to look at the caller I.D. because a few moments later, he answered with a groggy, "Hello?"
"Hey," Dan said, trying to sound calmer than he actually was. "It's Dan. Sorry it's so early, but it's pretty much the only time I could get to the phone."
"What the fuck, Dan?" He said, and then paused to most likely check the time on his phone screen. "I hate you. You'd better have a good reason for this treachery."
Dan was entirely aware of the people waiting behind him, who could probably hear everything he said, but he tried to block it out as best as he could. "I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry. For like, being kind of a douche bag to you when you came to visit. I didn't want you to hate me forever."
There was a long silence after that, and Dan almost had the sneaking suspicion that Chris had fallen asleep again, but then he sighed heavily on the other end of the line. "No, I was the douche bag. I saw you with all your new friends, and how you actually liked it there, and I..... I was jealous."
"Jealous?" Dan asked doubtfully. That was never a word he would use to describe his friend. "Of what?"
Chris laughed at that for some reason. "Dan, you have no idea how hard is it to even become your friend. I had to punch a guy in the face for you to talk to me. But you go to this camp that you said you'd hate, and now you have all these new people to hang out with it, and I thought it was a joke or something. You let them in so easily."
"Not like I had a choice," Dan said, and it was true. His bunk mates had pretty much forced him into being their friend, and he couldn't just ignore them the whole summer when they lived together.
"Okay, so we're not mad at each other anymore," Chris said, trying to change the topic. "Let's get to the good stuff. What've you been up to?"
And, well, Dan told him. He summed it up as much as possible, knowing he had to give up the phone soon so he wouldn't get in trouble. He just wanted to talk to his friend for a little while.
"And how's that going?" Chris said after a Godzilla-like yawn. "You and Phil. Are you guys dating?"
"No." Dan sighed. "Yes. Maybe. It's complicated."
"I can tell," Chris laughed. "Hey, it can't be any worse than me and PJ."
"You and PJ?" Dan questioned, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "What the fuck is going with you and PJ?"
It was Chris's turn to sigh. "I don't even know what's going on with me and PJ. I'm, like..... courting him, I guess."
If Dan had thought that Chris being jealous was out of character, the idea of him 'courting' a guy was even further down the list. In the last year, Dan had seen him with his arm slung around a variety of love interests that never lasted very long. He wasn't a commitment kind of guy.
"That sounds terrifying," Dan said.
"It very much is. He's so fucking frustrating. I want to hold his hand like all the time."
"Well, good luck with that," Dan said in amusement. "I should go. This is the only working phone in this place, and people are ready to shed blood for it."
"Okay," Chris said. "Call me again, don't disappear or something."
"I'll try not to."
"And have fun." He said it in the most suggestive way possible, and Dan rolled his eyes before hanging up the phone.
Outside was hot, despite it still being pretty early in the morning, and Dan huffed lightly before heading back to his cabin. He was happy that he hadn't lost Chris as a friend, and right now, pretty much everything was okay in his life. No one cared about him being the new kid anymore, and there was no doubt or tension about his situation with Phil.
He passed the lake on his way, and standing on one of the wooden tables with a few other people, was Nick. They nodded at each other in silent acknowledgement, and Nick flashed a quick smile at him, before they turned away and went back to their separate lives.
***
There was a problem.
It wasn't big, but it was consistent. Dan liked his friends, even though they kept making him go outside and do stuff. They laughed at his jokes, and they didn't care if he left his boxers in the middle of the floor. It was a pretty good setup.
The problem was that sometimes, he wanted to be left alone, and they never understood it.
He could deal with the sun, and being social, but in small doses. Soon enough, he got to the point where it was too much of an effort, and his facade would slip, and people would get worried. He wasn't sick, he just felt drained.
That was where he was now: hiding from pretty much everyone, curled up underneath one of the docks that lined the lakeshore. There was about three feet of dry ground there for him to sit on, and he'd probably been here for about an hour now, throwing rocks into the shallow water in front of him. He supposed they might be looking for him.
He would find them later and give them some flimsy excuse for his absence, but they wouldn't care.
He was just coming up with the perfect story when someone's shoes appeared next to the dock, and a second later, Finn's head dropped down to look at him. "Oh jeez, there you are," he said.
"You don't have to—," Dan started to protest, but Finn either didn't hear it or didn't care, because he folded himself into the small space right beside him. "Hi."
"Now this is depressing," Finn said, staring at the dark and warped wood above them with mild discomfort. "Where did you even get the idea to climb under here?"
"You'd be surprised what I'd do for some peace and quiet."
Finn laughed, entirely missing that subtle hint for him to leave, but Dan didn't try to force it anymore. If anything, it was better that there was only one of them instead of more. "I know you get tired of being around people all the time," Finn said. "But you're always so busy making heart-eyes at Phil. I wanna, like, talk and stuff."
Dan scoffed because he most definitely did not make heart-eyes at Phil, but knew it was pointless to argue about it. "Fine. Maybe I have been distant."
Finn wrapped his arms around his knees. "I mean, that's fine. You just have this penchant for vanishing into thin air. One second, you're there, and the next, it's like you never existed or something."
"I'll try to warn you next time," Dan said with a small smile.
"I actually wanted to tell you something," Finn said. He was staring at his shoes, and Dan had the worst suspicion that this wasn't gonna be good.
"Okay. Go ahead."
"I, um," Finn started. He rubbed his hands against his jeans nervously and took a deep breath. "I'm the one who told people about you sleeping with Nick and Phil."
At first, Dan doesn't entirely comprehend that sentence, and it takes him a second to get angry. "You what?"
"Look, before you hate me—," Finn begged, but Dan doesn't let him finish, already unfolding himself from under the dock, ready to find another hiding spot as soon as possible. "Dan, please just let me explain."
"I really don't have to let you do anything," Dan snapped at him. "You fucking saw how much that whole thing messed me up. Why did you think that was a good idea?"
"I don't know." Finn bowed his head, and Dan could see his shoulders shaking but it did nothing to spark his sympathy. "But I regret it so much, and I just need you to forgive me before I go crazy."
He looked up, staring Dan in the eye with the most broken expression. Dan stared right back.
"Fuck you," he said, and turned to walk away.
He was glad there weren't many people outside today, because he didn't want them to see him so spazzed out. His hands were shaking at his sides, and he balled them into fists to try and stop it, but it didn't work. He didn't know how long he could last without punching something.
There were lots of places in the campgrounds that were secluded and hard to find, and Dan was rounding the corner in search of one when he ran into Phil.
"Hi," Phil said in amusement, grasping Dan's shoulders to stop him from falling over. "You're in a hurry."
"Sorry," Dan said. "Wasn't paying attention."
He wondered vaguely if he should tell Phil about Finn. He was king of apart of it, but he also knew that Phil hadn't cared about the rumors that had spread about him. Especially now that they weren't false. It was probably a good idea to leave it alone for now.
"Where are you headed?" Phil asked him. "I was just on my way to the CTF meeting if you wanna join?"
"CTF?" Dan didn't think he would ever get used to this place and it's weird activities.
"Capture the flag," Phil answered. "They're doing it tomorrow night, but sign up is today, and they're going over the rules and stuff. It's pretty fun."
Dan shrugged. His anger was starting to disappear, another side effect that Phil had on him. "I'm not a sporty guy, you know."
"You won't even have to run, I promise."
He knew he was already going to say yes, but he took a little longer to think about it. "I guess I could spare my evening."
Phil smiled at him, before grabbing his arm and tugging him along. "Well, we're gonna be late if we don't go now."
They walked all the way to the main building up front, and Dan desperately hoped they didn't run into Finn on the way. Luck was on his side this time, because they reached it without complication. Inside was already pretty packed with other campers and a few counselors waiting for the meeting to start.
"Sign up here," Phil said, leading Dan to a row of tables with pieces of paper taped to them. "On my team, the blue one." Dan signed his name, and that was apparently all it took to join.
The meeting started soon after, but Dan barely heard a word. He figured he would just get Phil to explain everything beforehand.
His distraction method was working so far, but he didn't know what he would do when he had to go back to his cabin and face Finn. He fucking hated how stupid he felt, how much he had trusted the person who was supposed to be his friend. It probably didn't even matter, no one even cared about those rumors anymore, but he couldn't stop remembering how hopeless he'd felt when it had first happened. And knowing that Finn had been the one to start it was enough to put Dan on edge.
Of course, there was nothing he could do except throw a tantrum and never speak to Finn again. Not a good coping mechanism.
Maybe he could request a cabin switch. Except he didn't want to move into a new cabin with new people he didn't know. He could file a complaint, but that was so tedious and a little bit extra, and it would be on record forever.
He just needed to think about it on his own for a while.
The room erupted into motion and noise as people stood and started talking all together, and with a start, Dan realized the meeting was over. He'd been zoned out the whole time, even though it had only felt like minutes.
"Where do you wanna go now?" Phil asked as they stood together and headed for the doors. "Lake?"
"More secluded," Dan said. Phil smirked at him.
"Showers?"
Oh, he had never even thought of that. It would be empty this time of day, too hot and humid. Slick skin, and steamed walls and—
Nick.
Nick stopped in front them, wearing a wide smile with his hands tucked into his pockets. He glanced at Phil, but ultimately focused on Dan. "Hey. You guys playing tomorrow night? What team are you on?"
Dan smiled back, and didn't miss the fake one that Phil put on. He didn't like Nick, no matter the reassurances that Dan gave him. "Yeah, we're blue."
"Damn, I'm red." He shook his head. "Guess we'll see each other on the battlefield."
"Good luck," Dan said and watched him leave. Phil was still tensed up beside him. "You don't have to be so cold, ya know."
Phil stared at him innocently. "I was perfectly civil."
"Liar." Dan exited the building and waited for Phil to join him outside. "He's actually nice, if you talk to him."
"I just don't like the way he looks at you," Phil conceded. "And he's always trying to get your attention."
"Very possessive today, are we?" Dan teased him, watching his face flush.
"I know I sound like a jerk."
"You don't." Dan reaches out and tugged at the belt loop of Phil's jeans. "It's kind of hot, actually."
Phil bit his lip. "You're hotter."
"Prove it."
***
a/n: hello gorgeous people, i know this is short and kinda shitty but i am v sleep deprived and stressed and this kinda helped so :)
this is pretty much the only thing im working on right now, so it should (maybe) have more regular updates, at least not once every half a year. if y'all even still read this, hey wassup i love you a lot
um that's pretty much it I think I'm gonna go to sleep now
I hope you guys liked it and stick around for more cause there is a lot more coming stay tuned ;)
peace out