Never Kiss a Toad

By JudeKnight

244K 20.8K 1.2K

[A Victorian romance continuing family stories begun in the various Regency books of Jude Knight and Mariana... More

Co-written novel by Jude Knight and Mariana Gabrielle
Prologue, Part One
Prologue, Part Two
Chapter One: Part One
Chapter One: Part Two
Chapter Two, Part One
Chapter Two: Part two
Chapter Two, Part Three
Chapter Three
Chapter Four, Part One
Chapter Four, Part Two
Chapter Five, Part 1
Chapter Five, Part 2
Chapter Five, Part 3
Chapter Six, Part 1
Chapter Six, Part 2
Chapter Seven: Part 1
Chapter Seven, Part 2
Chapter Eight: Part 1
Chapter Eight: Part 2
Chapter Eight: Part 3
Chapter nine
Chapter Ten: Part 1
Chapter Ten, Part 2
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen: Part 1
Chapter Fourteen: Part 2
Chapter Fourteen: Part 3
Chapter Fourteen: Part 4
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter sixteen
Chapter seventeen
Chapter eighteen
Chapter Nineteen: Part 1
Chapter Nineteen: Part 2
Chapter Twenty
Chapter twenty-one
Chapter twenty-two
Chapter Twenty-three: Part 1
Chapter Twenty-three: Part 2
Chapter Twenty-Four: Part 1
Chapter Twenty Four: Part 2
Chapter Twenty-Five: Part 1
Chapter Twenty-Five: Part 2
Chapter Twenty-Six: Part 1
Chapter Twenty-Six: Part 2
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Part 1
Chapter Twenty Seven: Part 2
Chapter Twenty Eight
Chapter Twenty Nine: Part 1
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Part 2
Chapter Thirty: Part 1
Chapter Thirty: Part 2
Chapter Thirty: Part 3
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two: Part 1
Chapter Thirty-Two: Part 2
Chapter Thirty-Three: Part 1
Chapter Thirty-Three: Part 2
Chapter Thirty-Four: Part 1
Chapter Thirty Four: Part 2
Chapter Thirty-Five: Part 1
Chapter Thirty Five: Part 2
Chapter Thirty-Six: Part 1
Chapter Thirty-Six: Part 2
Chapter Thirty-Seven: Part 1
Chapter Thirty Seven: Part 2
Chapter Thirty-Eight: Part 1
Chapter Thirty-Eight: Part 2
Chapter Thirty Nine
Chapter Forty: Part 1
Chapter Forty: Part 2
Chapter Forty-One: Part 1
Chapter Forty-One: Part 2
Chapter Forty-Two: Part 1
Chapter Forty-Two: Part 2
Chapter Forty-Three: Part 1
Chapter Forty Three: Part 3
Chapter Forty-Four: Part 1
Chapter Forty-Four: Part 2
Chapter Forty-Four: Part 3
Chapter Forty-Five: Part 1
Chapter Forty-Five: Part 2
Chapter Forty-Six: Part 1
Chapter Forty-Six: Part 2
Chapter Forty Six: Part 3
Chapter Forty-Six: Part 4
Chapter Forty-Seven: Part 1
Chapter Forty-Seven: Part 2
Chapter Forty-Eight: Part 1
Chapter Forty-Eight: Part 2
Chapter Forty-Nine
Chapter Fifty: Part 1
Chapter Fifty: Part 2
Chapter Fifty-One
Chapter Fifty Two: Part 1
Chapter Fifty-Two: Part 2
Chapter Fifty-Three: Part 1
Chapter Fifty Three: Part 2
Chapter Fifty Three: Part 3
Chapter Fifty-Four: Part 1
Chapter Fifty-Four: Part 2
Chapter Fifty-Five: Part 1
Chapter Fifty-Five: Part 2
Chapter Fifty-Six
Chapter Fifty-Seven: Part 1
Chapter Fifty-Seven: Part 2
Chapter Fifty-Seven: Part 3
Chapter Fifty-Eight: Part 1
Chapter Fifty-Eight: Part 2
Chapter Fifty-Nine: Part 1
Chapter Fifty-Nine: Part 2
Chapter Sixty: Part 1
Chapter Sixty: Part Two
Chapter Sixty: Part 3
Chapter Sixty-One
Chapter Sixty Two: Part 1
Chapter Sixty-Two: Part 2
Chapter Sixty-Three: Part 1
Chapter Sixty Three: Part 2
Chapter Sixty-Three: Part 3
Chapter Sixty-Four: Part 1
Chapter Sixty-Four: Part 2
Chapter Sixty-Four: Part 3
Chapter Sixty-Five: Part 1
Chapter Sixty-Five: Part 2
Chapter Sixty-Five: Part 3
Chapter Sixty Five: Part 4
Chapter Sixty-six: Part 1
Chapter Sixty-Six: Part 2
Chapter Sixty-Seven
Chapter Sixty-Eight: Part 1
Sixty-Eight: Part 2
Chapter Sixty-Eight: Part 3
Chapter Sixty-Eight: Part 4
Chapter Sixty-Nine: Part 1
Chapter Sixty-Nine: Part 2
Chapter Sixty Nine: Part 3
Chapter Seventy: Part 1
Chapter Seventy: Part 2
Chapter Seventy-One: Part 1
Chapter Seventy-One: Part 2
Chapter Seventy-Two: Part 1
Seventy-Two: Part 2
Chapter Seventy-Three
Chapter Seventy-Four: Part 1
Chapter Seventy-Four: Part 2
Chapter Seventy-Four: Part 3
Chapter Seventy-Five: Part 1
Chapter Seventy Five: Part 2
Chapter Seventy-Five: Part 3
Chapter Seventy-Six: Part 1
Chapter Seventy-Six: Part 2
Chapter Seventy-Seven
Chapter Seventy-Eight: Part 1
Chapter Seventy-Eight: Part 2
Chapter Seventy-Eight: Part 3
Chapter Seventy Nine
Chapter Eighty
Chapter Eighty-One
Chapter Eighty-Two
Chapter Eighty-Three
Epilogue

Chapter Forty-Three: Part 2

1.2K 123 17
By JudeKnight

For a few minutes, Toad stacked cold meat and cheese on bread and let the buzzing of taproom conversation in the background carry him into inattention. He might never write three more difficult sentences in his life, so he started with the pictures in the margin. Nonsense and opposite, and three notches to note it applied to the whole paragraph.

Because I cannot claim to know my immediate—indeed, long-term—plans, I must release you from any promise you have made me. For how shall I be a good husband when the ladies of Europe beckon? (My father always told me I could do worse than to marry an Italian princess.)

His hand shook as soon as he drew the interrogatory mark, leaving his last sentence noticeably shaky. If Sally were to take any statement in the entire letter wrongly, he prayed to god, it wouldn't be that one. He hoped she had received the note with the calling cards, so she would know Piero's sisters thought of him as brotherly, not as a marriage prospect. At least she would have knowledge of his immediate and long-term plans for the shipping line, as soon as Bey found her at Sutton's wedding.

"My brother is intolerable, Aber—Harburn."

"Come, eat, Piero. There is plenty." Piero took a seat across the table from Toad, sparing but a glance for the letter that, he would be the first to say, was none of his business. "What has Arturo done now?"

"He has made a deal with Firthley to invest, since neither you nor I would agree. He told Firthley he would invest in Delphinus, or he would split his investment in Seventh Sea and Kopet Dag. And Firthley fell for it."

Toad couldn't help a slight smirk. "You knew Arturo was never going to let you make money without him. He has peasants to feed, and now, so do you, Lord Landowner, and it is your bounden duty to help the family feed them. Especially if you will be chasing off to sea and asking Arturo to watch over things while you are gone."

"Just so. You look a little like him in the noble jaw when you speak of peasants, and when you start preaching."

"Excellent. One wishes to model oneself after good men, after all."

"Oh, do not say that in his hearing, I pray." Piero spread pate on a slice of bread and added a layer of soft cheese. "I feel I must warn you, my friend. You have not been back to Italia since Maddalena was invited to Court. She will add your heart to her list to be conquered."

Toad snorted. "Lena and I have an understanding."

Piero's head reared back. "You have a what?"

With a sly smirk, Toad asked, "You recall I taught her to fence with Arturo's permission, do you not?"

"Yes? And?"

"I taught her to gut a man with three different blades, and in exchange, she will never agree to marry me, no matter what Arturo suggests or what sort of stregheria your mother tries. Your sister is like a sister to me, upon both my honour and hers."

"Well... I suppose that is...." Piero cleared his throat and busied himself making himself a sandwich. "I say, did I happen to mention...? I meant to tell you, but with all the commotion..."

"Yes?"

"I met your sister in Paris, Lady Almyra." Color rose in Piero's cheeks, and he spent more time slicing soft cheese than was required. "Briefly, of course... in passing, really... when Firthley summoned me to the hotel. Not even truly a formal introduction... she rather... er... barged in to seek out a book while I was waiting."

"You were alone with my sister in Paris?" Toad asked, one brow raised.

"No! Not... Only for moments before Firthley... the door was open the whole time, Aber—Harburn."

"I see," Toad said, noncommittally. "How is my sister? Did she look well?"

"She... She looked very..." he trailed off. "She said she was longing to see you, but that was before your father..."

"Before my father turned up to disinherit me."

"Yes. Now, then," Piero turned away again, paying excessive attention to pinching a bunch of grapes from the pile on the platter, "if we can dispense with the topic of sisters for the moment, I have a plan for the management of Delphinus that I'd like you to consider."

"We can dispense with sisters for the moment..." Until he determined what sort of intentions were making Piero act so odd at the mention of Almyra.

"You are bringing your Sally into your home as your wife, and I have an estate that cannot run itself nor be left entirely in Arturo's hands. I believe very much in Delphinus Shipping, but I propose we each base ourselves in or near the port city of our choice and establish rotations, as we did in school, so we can each live nearby our other concerns and spend any needed time in port."

"That seems wise."

"And I propose a deep, meaningful conversation among the four of us—and any other interested parties we may or may not be shortly marrying—about who wants to travel, how often, and to where."

"I hadn't wanted to ask for special consideration."

"Then allow me. I can hire a man to replace myself aboard ship, and work from my estate two hours from Livorno. I can travel inside Europe, no more than three months in any year, and should I decide to marry and have children, I will cease traveling except by agreement with my wife."

Toad's mouth dropped open then snapped closed. Talk of his sister so near discussion of marriage was a bit more gravity than he could manage, given the weight of everything else in his life. "When you get married?"

Piero bit his thumb at Toad. "I'm a nobleman. Noblemen marry and have children. And smart noblemen who have wives defer to the ladies, and do not leave them lonely in port."

Piero rose. "We shall have the discussion as soon as the four of us are in close proximity. No, excuse me. The five of us, as Lady Sarah's opinions must now be considered." With a glance at the letter, he offered, "I shall leave you now to your lady's correspondence. We can board ship any time after eight tonight, and as late as ten o'clock in the morning."

I do remember you with affection, dear Monkey Face, and you are never far from my thoughts.

Truth.

But will I marry soon?

Wish.

I am young yet, and have oats to sow.

Opposite.

Writing this letter was intolerable. No matter how encoded, it galled to put down on paper the sentiment that anything was more important than Sally. He should be writing to her with the glad tidings of Haverford's agreement, not forced to write coded letters like a little boy.

And, of course, I never wish to hurt you.

Truth.

The outside door opened, revealing Arturo, shrugging out of his greatcoat, his manservant a step behind with a carpetbag. "Is my brother here?" Arturo asked, looking around. "I do not wish for him to think I am spying on him."

"Are you spying on him?" Toad asked, to his mind, a reasonable question where brothers and guardians were concerned.

"No, I am not spying. I am trying to get the three of us safely back to Italia, all sober enough to see mama when we arrive, and on the way, give my stubborn younger brother the information he will need to manage his new estate."

"And make a small investment in Delphinus Shipping with Firthley."

With the same hint of a smirk as Toad a few minutes earlier, Arturo said, "My brother has a duty to his family and the peasants we feed. Especially if the four of you will be chasing off to sea like pirates and leaving the estate management with me."

Arturo slid into the same chair his brother had just vacated. "Aber—Harburn, we have something to discuss."

"We do?"

"Yes. I am given to understand your father has disowned you? This is why you are Harburn?"

"Yes. Abersham was a courtesy title."

"Is il Conte de Pietranego a courtesy title?"

Toad laughed. "No, but it is not mine, nonetheless. Not until I inherit the rest of it."

"However... you are heir to Pietranego, with a palazzo in the family, you speak fluent Italian, and your formative years were spent on shipboard in a Venetian lagoon. You can make Italy home, Harburn, and I will help you. My mother will help you. To start, you are going to buy a piece of land from me."

"I am?"

"Yes. A good-sized house and gardens, abutting Piero's estate. I have kept it in case any of my sisters have need of it, but it is not the only property I have set aside for them."

"I cannot afford a house and gardens and an estate, Arturo."

"I will take a promissory note. You cannot bring a duke's daughter to a borrowed cottage on another man's land. I am proud of my brother for making the offer of a guesthouse, but you must give Sally a home of her own, especially if you will travel often on business. You are a marquess--"

"A baron."

"A duke's heir. Marrying a duke's daughter. You cannot begin your life with Sally living like a pauper."

Toad wanted to decline, if only because he did not want to be in debt to a friend, but Arturo's arguments were right on the mark.

"You are right. You are right. I can give you a partial payment and will appreciate a note for the rest."

"Excellent. I will require you allow my mother to entertain herself planning your Italian wedding festivities, so she will stop bothering me about mine."

"She will stop but briefly."

"Assuredly." Arturo stood to leave. "Now, I am going to my room to write correspondence. Do not tell Piero you saw me or I will be accused of following him."

"Of course not."

I don't not even have a house, nor a piece of land on which to grow food, so how can I think to support a wife?

Opposite

But who is to say what the future holds? Perhaps I will one day make my way back to British shores.

Truth.

Perhaps sooner than later.

Secret.

But our childish plans to run away together were naught but silly daydreams

Opposite.

A shadow fell across Toad, bent over his pen and ink. "My Lord Harburn, I got summat to say, If you please."

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Published: May 4, 2016 Completed: July 27, 2016 ** EDITED ** Sequel to The Affair, therefore, it may contain some spoilers for those who have not rea...