♧
I wish to see him.
To have me locked in
his arms.
His lips touching mine,
kissing me quite insane.
If I close my eyes,
I feel him.
His huge and muscular hands
creating friction and fire.
Our bodies moving against
eachother and hands running
up and down the others body.
If I close my eyes,
I see him.
His long, black lashes
falling onto his seen cheekbones.
And when they move apart,
his eyes are on display.
Charming everybody with a just a glance of admiration.
If I close my eyes,
I hear him.
His rasp and deep voice,
making music to my ears.
The words being said are
the ones that kept me near.
But it is all when I close my eyes.
When I open them, I am faced with reality, as painful and harsh as it is,
there is not escaping it.
They all keep pushing me.
Revealing the details of my captor,
of my lover.
Nothing left my lips though.
It will be my secret forever,
nobody will know my story,
only the two of us do.
I am sick of sitting here,
waiting for something to happen.
Knowing nothing will happen.
I am destined to continue my
boring life. To move on and forget.
Never will I forget him.
Never.
My panic attacks are
getting worse and worse.
It is almost everyday they
suffocate me.
Mother said it is time to
see someone,
so I can talk about them.
What she did not mention
but secretly thinks,
is I should talk about Harry too.
Two weeks,
fourteen days without
seeing him smile at me.
Two weeks and fourteen
days of being watched by my mother and those stupid police officers.
Lunatics, that is what they are.
They are growing at bit impatient,
although I love to see them this way.
Getting frustrated and sometimes even angry with my behaviour.
Nothing inside of me
feels an emotion.
I am empty and lost.
Nothing cheers me up
and the fact I am home again,
with my friends and mother
makes me even more sad.
Looking out of the window
is what I do every day,
imagining him standing in front his black car and looking up at me.
His green eyes holding me exactly where I want to be.
The trees are moving,
almost dancing with the rhythm of the wind and leaves fall every now and then.
I stare without a focus.
Not really looking at something
and just letting my mind wander.
A sigh escapes my lips,
spreading into thin air.
I swallow and blink with my eyes.
But flinch when I hear a door being slam shut downstairs.
Which is followed by footsteps running up the steps of the stairs.
Someone calls out my name,
I think it is my mother.
Footsteps are near and
not long after the door of my room is being opened by, indeed, my mother.
She walks towards me and
starts rambling like a fool.
I stare at her and do not move.
I do not even hear what she is talking about, just staring at her face and sparkling eyes is what I do.
She looks great, I think to myself.
Ofcourse she does,
her daughter is back,
maybe not exactly they way she is,
or should I say was,
but she is here; alive.
I see her lips moving and
her tongue pronouncing the words.
Her hands moving wildly,
and telling the story.
Until she stops.
Her eyebrows furrow and I see her mouth formed in a thin line.
Taking my hands in hers,
she touches them.
Blinking with my eyes
I come back to the surface.
Breathing in and out slowly,
I focus on her and what she has to say.
A deep breath escapes her
and she parts her lips,
"Sweetheart, Elijah is back."
My eyes grow wide
and I jump out of my chair.
She smiles brightly, he is back, finally.
She takes my face in her hands and kisses my forehead.
"Can I see him?"
Her eyes wander off and
she nods, her hair moving along.
She wets her lips and tells me
they said he was with his parents.
°
I find myself at the doorstep of the house where Elijah his parents live in.
I breath in and out,
letting the fresh air clean my lungs.
Finally outside after a long time I
feel my heart beating at a fast pace.
Relieved to know he is back
and nervous to see him again,
I knock on the big wooden door with shaky hands.
It does not take long before a police officer opens the door.
It is now, I notice three police cars
parked outside.
The police officer observes me
and I frown.
"Can I come in?"
I ask the taller man.
He shakes his head and his hands
fold together.
"Why not?"
"It is highly important a small
amount of people are inside.
Especially because the parents are not in a state they can recieve visitors."
Frowning my eyebrows at the man in front of me, I show him I do not understand it.
"They need to grief alone."
My breathing stops.
A loud gasp escapes my lips and
I feel my knees wobble and ready to fall on the ground,
but I am stopped when I
see Elijahs mother
coming to the door.
Her face and eyes are red and
tears are still visible on her cheeks.
She is a mess.
"Oh darling! Come here!"
Opening her arms,
I push myself past the officer
still standing in the doorway.
My body is being pushed into hers and she soothens my hair.
"They found him dead
in the woods. My poor baby, lying there like...like,"
She does not even finish her sentence,
loud cries escape her and cry I with her.
Hugging me tightly,
I realise Elijah is no more.
He is gone and there is nothing
left here anymore.
She lets me go and takes my face in her hands,
wiping the tears away.
"He loved you. He always talked about you as if you were the only one alive."
I let out a loud cry
and my ears drum loudly.
Air escapes me rapidly.
"He would give up everything for you.
Ever since he met you, his smile never dissapeared. And now, after all these weeks of him missing, he is back and no more. I lost my only son."
Her cries pain my heart
and hug the woman in front of me as if she was the only human alive.
One of the police officers
enters the hallway and
I see a glimpse of what is happening in the living room;
a bunch of police officers are standing and talking about something I can not hear.
Their faces evident of worry
and uncertain emotions.
Before I know what I am doing I rush into there and all of them look at me.
A blush creeps onto my face.
"I..I..where is he?"
I stammer a sentence.
One of them answers,
his loud voice echoing through the room that carries lost and sadness.
"Madame, you are not supposed to be here. Who are you even? Only family is allowed to be in here."
I feel a presence behind me and I turn around the see Elijahs mother entering the room too.
"She is allowed to be in here, officer."
They all nod and I find myself still asking where he is.
I want to see him because my best friend has passed away. As if my heart is not breaking enough, they took Elijah away from me too.
"To answer your question,
his body is not here,
he is being looked at for clues that show us who killed him."
•//////
Sorry for the wait. So already missing our boy Harry? I am curious to hear your thoughts! Vote, comment and share please!