Sorry the last chapter ended so abruptly; I had to go to Starbucks with a friend because why not. So anyways, Prettiest and I got married, she changed her name to Greatest, and we lived happily ever after. But how we got to that point is the whole point of me writing this story.
We got married in seventh grade, when we were twelve. We wanted to be the first ones to get married. We were overjoyed when we found out both of our parents allowed us to marry! We didn't even have to ask our parents; they were dead. So we just assumed that they would say yes anyways. I mean, the normal age to marry is 16, but we were rebels. We spilled chocolate milk on ourselves, we killed ants, and we climbed roofs and jumped down, broke our ankles, and went to the hospital and did not pay for the surgery, just because the docs insisted that we get the surgery for free.
The day before our marriage I met another girl named Sally the Singer, she was the only one who did not have an adjective name. She was so prettier; even prettier than the Greatest! So I killed her so that she wouldn't interfere with my emotions and destroy my relationship with the Greatest; we could have gotten divorced!
Don't worry, she had a smooth and painless death. At least, I hope. Chainsaws don't hurt, right? Good. Anyways, back to the subject.
The day we got married was two minutes after we met. I walked up to her and said,
"Hey, wanna marry me? PLEEEEAAASE?"
She replied with a cheerful singing voice, "Of course, my love! What is your name?"
She sighed and her cheerful smile turned upside down. "My name is the Prettiest, but truthfully I am very ugly. So I will change it to the Greatest!"
"What a great idea!" I said, not even mentioning that she was actually really pretty and not ugly.
We head off to our marriage. We married on the top of mount everest. There was one problem; we could not kiss because we had oxygen masks on; so we decided to kiss later if we survived on the way down. By the way, a helicopter brought us to the top. BTW, sandwiches are not effected by altitude. Just so you know.
So we got married, and our priest was called Priestly, at least we thought so because he was a priest. He did not talk, which was pretty weird. But that's ok. Oh and also, he was a snowball. Cool, huh?
We decided to spend our honeymoon on the beach, but we did not think about where we were going to stay. Since the helicopter we flew to Mount Everest had crashed (that was the Greatest's fault), we decided to walk. Fifteen miles to the nearest beach. When we got to the beach, we realized that sandwiches can't swim because we mold; rule number one taught to us the day we are born. Oops, that was also the Greatest's mistake.
It started to rain when we got there, so we took shelter in the nearest restaurant. We knew we used to be served at restaurants, but nowadays it was not allowed.
After it stopped raining, we went back outside and bought ourselves sundaes. We looked behind us, and that was when we realized what was about to happen to us.
A seagull was flying straight towards us, its mouth opened, talons poised to attack.