Ramnath 's pov :
Shravan has decided to start an independent firm. ..He didn't even discussed with me prior to inform everyone. ..
This thought made me to think deep ..yes. ..He had grown up. .now. .He could decide what he wanted. ..
I don't know why, I felt like he was influenced by suman. ..
The very next moment, I kicked off my thought. ..after all, she was his only happiness. ..I didn't let him to feel the mother's love at his young age. ..
The guilt rose in me. ..I felt like crying. ..
I am growing old. ..I remembered the article that I read in a magazine. ..that emphasised the old age as a second childhood period. ..
Though I wasn't a child for sure, my mind needed someone to be close to share my happiness and sorrow. ..it could be done only with the better half. ..
I was mistaken. ..i realised my hasty decision that satisfied my useless ego. ..
Though everyone loved me , at one point, I would feel lonely. ..even now, I feel drained. ..
I feel to cry out loud. ..
'Nirmala. ..I need you .I don't know why. ..but I need you. ..I was wrong. ..'
But the words weren't come out. ..even now, I had my ego at its superior ..
I paced by clasping and unclasping my hands across the length and breadth of the narrow balcony. ..
I was clouded with thoughts. ..the so called stubborn lawyer has broken out ...perhaps, never be glued together. ..how ironical. ..!
I could neither leave my thoughts about nirmala nor recall her memories. ..even now, my ego is intact. ..
I squeezed my eyes to shut. ..if I had a boon to reset my past, how pretty it would be. ..!
I threw my sight as long as I could....to feel relaxed. ..
A child with his father and mother playing with the kite at the distance terrace hit my ego dead. ..
This is meant to be a family. ..a father. ..mother. ..and their children. ...
I was the one who should be accused to ruin Shravan's childhood. ..I separated him from nirmala. ..I fed the venom to his mind about his mother. ..what had I done to him. .?
I sent him far away, where he wouldn't meet his mother. ..it's all because of me not because of nirmala. ..
' Shravan. ..i was the only reason behind all your sufferings. ..will you forgive me. .?'
I decided to confront him about the truth which was buried all through the years. .. i didn't know whether shravan would forgive me . ..and accept me . ..
I rushed to his room before my evil mind could change my thoughts again. ..
I knocked his door twice and went in. ..
Obviously, he was surprised with my visit. ..
" Papa. ..aap. .? You could have called me. ..anything important papa. .?"
His innocent smile squeezed me. ...
' beta. ..I am sorry. ..'
My mind pleaded him. ..
" Papa. .."
His fondly touch brought me here and now. ..I gulped. ..what if he hates me. .?my thoughts flew recklessly. ..
" shravan. ...I wanted to talk with you. .."
" haan papa. ..tell me. ..is everything okay. .?"
His face turned to worry. ..
" nothing. .."
I paused for a minute. ..i sat beside him and held his hands. ..
" shravan. ..have you felt that your papa doesn't love you ..? "
" Papa. ..what kind of question is this. .? I never felt that. .i knew that my papa loves me a lot. .."
I sighed as like my burden left me partially. ..
" shravan. ..today....i wanted you to know that whatever I had done for you is only because I loved you more than my life. ..Please. . trust me. ..and never leave me alone. ..I had no one in my life other than you. .."
I managed to sound more or less normal. ..
He laughed at me. ..
" Papa. ..you are behaving quite strange. ..I trust you. ..and I won't leave you even if you ask me to leave. ..because I love my dad. .."
He hugged me. ...I patted him. ..
I bit my lips together, trying to suppress my tears that threatened to overwhelm me. ..I shook my head. ...
" shravan. ..carry on with your work. .."
I left the room hurriedly. ..
------------------------------------------------------
When I reached my room. ..I was astonished to see suman, waiting for me. ..
" suman beta. ..are you here. .?"
" haan. .papa. .."
She simply nodded. ..
After some time, she broke the silence. ...
" Papa. ..I heard you talking with shravan. ..definitely he may not know your turmoil. .. but I do. ..."
A tear drop had sprung up in my eyes and I needed it badly. ..I want to cry out loud my mind. ..
" Papa. ..actually, I went to meet aunty. ..she was broken after hearing shravan hates her still. ..believe me. ..even now, you can set everything right. ..nirmala aunty is Shravan's real happiness. ..though he lies that he hates aunty , his heart yearns to be with her. .."
I leaned at bed to hold myself. ..
" Papa. ..you are the only one who could change the past. ..you may be a reputed, powerful lawyer, but you had ruined Shravan's childhood. ..you can't deny it. .."
" do you know papa. ..you have killed the beautiful relationship with your ego and misunderstanding..."
Her words hit me brutally. ..
" and. ..this is the right time to confront everything to shravan. ..even now, you are selfish and worried about your reputation. ...why can't you tell the truth to him. ?"
I sat with my heads down. .in every way, she was right. ..
" Papa. ..it was a mistake. ..i Could understand. ..but the mistake should be corrected. ..aunty is ready to fly Australia. ..I've tried my best to stop her. ..i failed. .only you could stop her. .."
Her words weighed heavily on me. .the questions she asked were my own questions. ..I knew the answers which were buried deep inside heart. ..I had fooled myself by separating shravan from nirmala to believe that I was doing this only for shravan. ..
I decided to leave my guards down. ..
" suman. ..are you sure. .?"
She nodded with welled up eyes. ..
There was a pin drop silence ...
She sighed and Turned to leave the room. ..
" suman. ..when is her flight. .?"
Her face lit up. ...
" at 3 pm ..."
" Beta ...will you come with me to meet her. ..?"
She broaden her smile. ..
" ofcourse papa. ..I will. .."
With evident happiness she left. ..
I could see the rain falling like thread from the roof through the window. ..the far away grass lands dissolve in a haze of mist and drizzle. ..
As a child, the rain meant an endless amusement;.in youth it meant romance; in middle age, nothing mattered except the struggle of everyday. ..but now, I felt to stand at rain. ..
I stepped out to the balcony and waited for the rain to wash away the weight in my heart. ...
I was double determined to say everything to everyone. I had hope on shravan that he would understand me. ..I was excited to live with my family. ..my family. ..I with nirmala. ...