Joy Division
••• Atmosphere •••
walk in silence,
don't turn away in silence,
your confusion, my illusion,
worn like a mask of self-hate,
confronts and then dies,
don't walk away
•••••
hello welcome back this chapter physically murdered me and i am nothing more than a spectre writing from beyond the grave
this chapter's for my marvel girlies
Before Lloyd could even think to pull me into the monastery for a tour 2.0, the surface of the pond before us rippled and rose into a serpentine-like tube, before shooting out and wrapping around his waist.
"Uh," I said, looking down at the rope of water.
Lloyd just had enough time to follow my gaze before he was yanked back into the pond. I gasped at the suddenness as he skimmed across the surface, unsure whether to be terrified or laugh. I settled on a choked, stunned giggle.
Lloyd surfaced with a yell and furious red eyes. They were directed beside me, where the ninja of water had appeared out of thin air. I startled at her soundless arrival and placed a hand over my heart to calm it.
Ninja. They were going to give me a heart attack one of these days.
"Nya!" Lloyd shouted as he began to swim back to the grassy shore with snarling, gritted teeth. "Come on!"
"You're an actual idiot!" Nya snapped back, her fury a living thing. "Do you know what kind of danger you could've put her in? It's not like your bike is exactly inconspicuous, genius!"
I glanced between the two ninja masters as I slowly slipped my bike jacket off. I didn't know Nya well, but I sure now knew never to get on her bad side. Her angry face was terrifying.
"Oh, lighten up," Lloyd grumbled as he pulled himself out of the lake with a cascade of water. He knelt upright and squeezed his shirt. "It's not as if we've never taken people on our bikes before."
"Yeah, and every time that happens, scandals break out, too," Nya hissed with a poke to his chest. "But this time there wasn't an attack to excuse it!"
Lloyd sighed heavily. "Nya, please, we just got back-"
"Don't pick on me for playing leader when you're the one slacking," Nya cut him off with a scowl. "I love that you're happy and everything, but really, Lloyd, you gotta remember who you are."
Lloyd's face greyed at her reminder. Nya dropped her head back with a sigh and wearily ran her hand along her forehead. She turned her stormy gaze to me and I tried my best not flinch, just incase her expression twisted at me, too.
"Sorry, Y/n," Nya said with a huff before plastering on a warm smile. She brought me in for a firm hug while Lloyd pouted beside us. "It's great to see you again."
"... good to see you, too," I replied hesitantly, still unsure what to think after their argument had left tension hanging in the air. She flashed me a reassuring smile - I wasn't the one she was pissed at - before turning back towards the monastery's entrance.
"You're a party pooper!" Lloyd shouted at Nya's retreating back. Another rope of water yanked him right back into the pond with a yelp.
I giggled in shock. Lloyd thrashed to the surface again with a curse and a mop of darkened blond hair plastered to his face. Behind him, the Bounty disturbed the surrounding trees as it lowered to the forest floor.
Lloyd, agitated, lifted his arms with a splash of water. "Welcome back, Y/n!"
I laughed loudly - I couldn't help it. Lloyd's frustrated frown melted into a grin as I completely lost it, legs stumbling beneath the weight of my mirth. I dropped to my knees on the grass and hung my head as my body trembled. I didn't know what affected me worse - genuine amusement from seeing Lloyd get tossed across the water like a skipping stone, or delirious amazement at seeing Nya's powers up close.
"Are you laughing at me?" Lloyd said playfully. I shook my head with a snort that I didn't have time to be embarrassed about. "You're laughing at me!"
"She was so scary," I said between pants for breath. I was almost in tears. "I thought I was gonna pee."
Lloyd laughed louder at my confession and planted his arms on the lip of the grassy bluff between us. I covered my face as I wept with humour. But then my amusement suddenly chilled.
"Am I in trouble?" I whispered.
"No, I am," he corrected. He rolled his enigmatic red eyes and I watched them, quietly inquisitive. "Which isn't really new, as of late."
"What on earth is going on here?"
We both glanced over to find Misako getting out of her car. She looked at the scene - Lloyd, drenched and in the pond, and I, catching my breath from my laughter that still rang through the branches of the forest surrounding us - and smiled.
"Never mind." She waved us off and picked up a leather satchel from her car seat. "I don't wanna know."
The rest of the ninja, Garmadon and Dimitri emerged from the direction where the Bounty had been parked. They saw Lloyd in the water and burst out laughing. Even Zane smiled in amusement.
"So that's where Nya disappeared to," Jay said between giggles. "Didya have a nice dip?"
"Ha-ha." Lloyd gave a mighty swipe of his hand and promptly drenched the Lightning Master. Jay yelped and stumbled back before whining in complaint.
Lloyd chuckled as the amused group of ninja disappeared into the monastery. The usual silence of the monastery's front settled over us again, accompanied by the wind rustling through the forest's leaves and the occasional trill of bird song.
I crossed my legs as Lloyd settled on the small bluff before me, resting his chin upon his arms. It seemed as though he'd accepted his fate to be soaked and in the pond for all eternity - but that was fine. I'd just amuse myself by picking the daisies and buttercups from the grass around me.
"So," Lloyd began, voice a soft hum that swept over the faint lapping of water. "You properly met my parents, then. How you feeling?"
"Terrified," I replied honestly. My eyes focused on the tiny bouquet I was gathering between my fingertips. "Your parents are great, though. I learnt a lot from them."
"Yeah?" Lloyd reached out and began drawing nonsense shapes upon my knee. My skin tingled in the wake of his path. "What'd you learn?"
"I learnt about how the Elemental Masters went into hiding," I answered. My gaze flickered from between the flowers in my grasp and the damp locks of Lloyd's hair - some loose strands of which had lightened into dry gold once more. "I learnt that you and your parents used to be estranged, but you're all very close now."
Lloyd's eyelashes fluttered as I began to poke the thin green stalks of my flowers into his hair. He looked like Persephone - strong and beautiful and as though life itself was compelled out to caress his corners. "Yeah?
"Mm," was my velvety murmur of an answer. Lloyd's face tilted onto his cheek, dozing like a cat in the sun as I worked on my masterpiece in his hair. His basil eyes watched me lazily.
"What else?" he quietly asked.
I hummed in thought, eyes following my hand as it went from the pile of flowers to Lloyd's decorated hair. "I learnt that you were the one who opened the Serpentine Tombs."
The tranquility on Lloyd's face suddenly disappeared as he paled. He shot up with an alarmed twist of his face, making me give a delayed startle at his sudden and overt reaction. Buttercups and daisies fell to the pond's surface.
"How'd you find that out?" he hurriedly asked.
Quickly realising I'd said the wrong thing, the flowers in my grasp dropped to the grass between us. I hadn't realised this was a touchy subject - from his father's easygoing amusement when he told me of Lloyd's transgressions from his youth, I assumed it wasn't a big deal.
"Your dad told me," I answered. I shrunk beneath the weight of the horrified look on his face. This wasn't how I wanted our reunion to go, and the stress from unintentionally putting my foot in my mouth made my spine knot up. "I'm sorry."
"No- no, it's okay." But he looked distracted, upset gaze flittering across the grassy bank I sat upon and unwilling to reach mine. The red colour intruded upon the green again, but I didn't have it in me to be curious about them. I already wanted to dig myself a hole and hide away inside it. "It's not your fault. I just... I didn't want you to know about that."
My brows furrowed. "Lloyd, you can tell me anything."
His eyes did turn to me then, but they were glassy; looking at me without actually looking, staring through me like I was the window pane before a view. I felt oddly empty. He wasn't meant to look at me like that. He'd never looked at me like that before.
"We all did stupid things when we were younger," I continued, though my voice had adopted an octave quieter, low with insecurity. "Besides, your dad said that you were misguided."
That had the undesired effect. Lloyd grimaced, either from my knowledge or from the memory of whatever it was that had misguided him, and pulled himself out of the pond with a cascade of water. He sat on the bank beside me and didn't reply, and the uneasy blanket upon me had tightened around my throat.
I wished we could go back to a few nights ago, where he travelled for an hour on dragon just to see me, where he crawled into my bedroom in the middle of the night and kissed me wide awake. It was easier then. I didn't like this... tension. He was Lloyd, my Lloyd. He wasn't meant to make me uncomfortable. I wasn't meant to tread on his toes.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. I had well and truly fucked up - I never got anything right but this was far worse than knocking him in the head with my wayward skateboard. My sight began to blur with the familiar sting of tears. "I'm sorry."
"Y/n." His gentle voice didn't seep into the disconcerted core of him, but his grip was soft and his calloused fingertips were like butterfly wings as they flittered across my cheek. The kiss was warm, though stiff, and his attempt of reassurance only made the guilt I was feeling choke me further.
For the first time, I realised that he wasn't a puzzle to be pieced together. His cards weren't laid out for me to find and figure out. He was a turreted wall, a bricked barrier overshadowed by frequent touches and soft kisses, showing only what he wanted and guarding away his imperfections and who he really was.
This entire time I'd known Lloyd, I hadn't been attempting a jigsaw. I'd been trying to scale an entire fortification. His eyes had been guarded since the moment I met him.
"I was just surprised," Lloyd mumbled against my lips, apology slipping from his tongue. He pressed his forehead to mine, wet as it was, and drops of water dripped from his hair and collected on strands of grass. "You didn't do anything wrong."
No, I hadn't. But what I had figured out was that Lloyd was Fort Knox, and all I had was a plastic spoon.
There was still so much I wanted to know. There was so much I'd been curious about and he'd pulled away, and I let him. I'd mention his eyes and he'd change the subject. I'd ask about his past, and he'd defer me to someone else. How much was he intending on keeping from me? I wasn't asking for everything, but some clarification on his boundaries would be nice.
"I know you're not perfect, Lloyd." I pulled back an infinitesimal amount so that my murmur wouldn't get lost against his lips. My fingers fiddled with my phone's case, energised by anxiety. "You don't have to hide your past."
"I know, I know," he soothed, chasing my eyes when I went to drop my head. "I'm just trying to get used to you not being everybody else."
I sent him a questioning look.
"Everyone here already knows me better than I know myself," Lloyd elaborated with a glance to the monastery. "And everyone out there have their made-up versions about me. I'm still figuring out who I am with you, how to act."
I shook my head. "Don't act. You don't have to pretend."
His smile in response was tiny, weak. "I'm trying not to."
I nodded, a little stunted, a little heavily. I should've expected this - everyone had secrets and Lloyd was no different. Actually, he would've had more. From what I heard so far, his upbringing wasn't exactly normal. Why would it be? His own mother had solemnly called him a soldier of fate. Zane had called him an enigma.
I hadn't even really known him that long. He was allowed to keep parts of himself from me. At least, until I knew him better. Until he was comfortable around me. Being vulnerable wasn't exactly easy, and I'd wager that it was especially difficult for Lloyd.
I should give him time. It was the respectful thing to do.
I cleared my throat and turned away from his forlorn gaze. If I had to physically beat away the tension with a stick, I'd do it. Anything to make it easy for us to breathe again. "You should get dried off."
Lloyd took the change of topic in stride and looked down at his damp clothes. There was still an occasional flower dotted in his hair, hidden in the drying curls of his shaggy locks. "Oh. Right."
It still seemed difficult for him to talk. I wouldn't badger nor would I pester. I didn't want him folding away even more from me.
I got to my feet on the dewy, slippery grass, intent on helping him up and heading indoors, out of the sun's heat. But I didn't realise how close to the lip of the buff I'd been standing, and my shoe's lack of grip slipped right over the smooth strands of boggy grass.
My world went sideways. And then, with a burst of bubbles, it went very, very cold.
I surfaced from the pond with a startled gasp, still having trouble to discern what exactly happened. When Lloyd burst into a sudden, loud laugh, I looked at him, bewilderedly blinking away the driblets of water that clung to my lashes. I spat water from my mouth.
I looked around myself as the events that had just transpired settled in. First, mortification greeted me like an old friend. Then I returned my attention to Lloyd, whose laughter rung sweet and pure and pretty over the tree tops of this sacred, tranquil place. The weird tension from before had been completely eradicated. My heart's worry soothed with the balm of relief.
"Are you laughing at me?" I chided, stealing his words from earlier with a hint of a grin. Lloyd frantically shook his head, attacked with chuckles, and he was so distracted by his own amusement that he didn't notice me grip onto his wrist and pull him back into the water with me.
"Y/n!" Lloyd exclaimed in shock as he broke surface, flinging water with a whip of his blond hair. I fell back against the rippling lake with a shameless ring of laughter, and his own joined near-on immediately, destroying the peace this magnificent monastery was built upon.
When our laughing fits calmed, sobriety broken with another string of giggles when our gazes met, I sighed with a serene smile at the sky. Lloyd's fingers wrapped ringlets of my soaked hair and my eyes dropped to him from the cerulean sea.
"Are you okay?" he asked, voice as light as the breeze that sent the millpond surface of the water purling, though laced with sincerity.
I slowly sighed through my nose as I took him in. Lloyd was attractive even bone-soaked, with fat drops of water contouring his best features. I patted down the little slip of fear that still lingered in the back shadows of my chest - secrets or not, Lloyd cared for me. I was content enough with that.
"I am," I answered quietly, just over the gentle lapping of water against us. But then a thought struck me, and I closed my eyes with a soft groan.
"What's wrong?" Lloyd asked, smile in his voice.
"I don't have a change of clothes."
"I'm sure Nya won't mind drying them for you."
I peeked open my eyes to send him an amused smile. "If she doesn't kill you first."
He rolled his eyes. "You'll be alright. She's already playing favourites and she's only met you twice."
"It's just as you said." I playfully flicked a tiny splash of water at him. "I'm irresistible."
Lloyd's face softened. "Exactly."
My face warmed at his genuine agreement to what was supposed to be a jest. Lloyd cleared his throat and looked towards the edge of the pond. "Should we get going?"
My eyes widened imperceptibly at the reality check. I nodded quickly before following Lloyd's lead in pulling ourselves out of the water, letting it drop from us in miniature waterfalls. My phone had, thankfully, survived the ordeal. It remained on the grass where it had been left.
With a trail of water following us, Lloyd led the way up the stairs to the monastery's entrance. I marvelled at the sight of the historical building with awe doubled from the time before. My memory of it was hazy due to the circumstances, but even if they weren't, I was sure my memories could never hold a candle to the real thing.
"I don't suppose I need to be blindfolded this time?" I joked as Lloyd held the door for me. He shook his head with a small smirk.
The inside of the monastery was surprisingly modern. Paintings adorned the massive entrance's walls, and an impressive rack of shoes lined the wooden floors. A large window faced us, opening right into the gorgeous maple-sakura garden that sat at the heart of the monastery.
I toed off my sodden sneakers with a wince at the mess and a grimace at my wet socks, before resolving to peel those off, too. Lloyd had done the same. If I weren't so eager to be dry again (and not smell like pond water), I would've lingered to examine the paintings for hours. They looked old, probably untouched staples of the ancient building.
"This way," Lloyd said, guiding me to the long stretch of hallway to the left. A wall of glass ran alongside the garden, interrupted only by the occasional engraved wooden column, softened with age. Lining the hall on our other side was the occasional door. Dark wood, just like the rest of the building.
My eyes took in everything greedily, still stunned that somebody could call such a magical place home. It was such a far cry from the suburban cottages and city apartments I was used to. This felt like taking a step right into the past, back when Ninjago wasn't so industrialised.
Lloyd stopped outside a door and hesitantly tapped his knuckles to the wood of it. The door was personalised, decorated with posters of modernised renaissance art pieces of the ocean. I could confidently hazard a guess as to whose room this belonged to.
Nya opened the door with a bored frown. From the glimpse of her room behind her, I saw a desk cluttered with notebooks and blueprints, along with the occasional technical trinket. A duffel bag was split open on the floor, fabric innards curling out like a crime scene. Nya folded a shirt in her hands as she stood before us.
"Fine," she groaned at Lloyd's unspoken request. With an elegant flick of her wrist, all the pond water from my clothes and skin was pulled into a ball before me, conjoined with Lloyd's. Then it burst into fine particles of nothing.
"This is why you're my favourite." Lloyd gave a hopeful beam as he lifted the bottom of my gaping mouth from the floor with the back of his finger.
"Stop sucking up just because you're in trouble with me," Nya scowled. "It's a bad look on you." Then she shot me a warm smile, returned to glaring at Lloyd, and slammed the door shut.
I bit my lip as amusement soared through me. I could see why Lloyd considered his team his family - not only did they share the same roof, but they truly did act like siblings. I had a feeling that, despite this place being a monastery, it was rarely quiet.
"At least we're dry," Lloyd said with an exasperated smile my way. He continued down the hall and I dawdled beside him. "Though, it doesn't take away the stink of pond water."
Brow furrowed, I lifted my arm to sniff. My face twisted at the lingering odour of warm, still water and algae growth. I wondered if the smell was worse for Lloyd because of his heightened senses. That must suck.
Lloyd shot me an amused smile at my scrunched face. "Do you want to have a shower?"
I went to deny it with a shake of my head before pausing. I didn't know how long I was going to be staying at the monastery - it could be until late, like last time - and the idea of Lloyd giving me a tour of his ancestral home while I smelt of pond water made me want to cringe. I gave a sheepish nod.
Lloyd turned to one of the doors lining the halls and opened it to reveal a gigantic linen closet that looked fit to serve the size of a hotel. How many monks did Lloyd say this place had?
"Here you are," Lloyd said as he handed me a soft towel. He opened the door beside the cupboard to reveal a bathroom. "Take all the time you need."
"What about you?"
Lloyd was already beginning to walk backwards down the hall. "Don't worry about me. I can use another shower."
Another shower. How many bathrooms did this massive place have? Two? Five? Ten? I gave a bewildered shake of my head before locking the door behind me.
As far as how ancient this place was, the bathroom seemed to have been updated to the 21st century necessities, which made me sigh with relief. I'd come accustomed to expecting the unexpected with Lloyd's side of the world and seeing a flushable toilet and a working shower filled me with a surprising amount of consolation. I was all too aware of monasteries that still didn't have plumbing.
After scrubbing myself until I was sure no unwanted scents lingered and was instead replaced with a calming lavender, I redressed and styled my wet hair out of the way. The long hallway was empty when I emerged, so I amused myself by leaning against the glass and watching the garden sway with the wind. Maybe I'd get Lloyd to take me on the path that wound its way around the pond and through the small pink-leaved forest next.
"Greetings, Y/n."
"Jesus!" I shot around, only to find Zane standing behind me with a calm, composed smile. I gripped the shirt above my chest as I pulled my breath back into my body. "Oh. Hi."
"My apologies," he said. "It was not my intention to scare you."
I shook my head. "It's okay." I will never, ever get used to him. Or any of them. Maybe they all enjoyed scaring me half to death, Lloyd especially.
"Do you like the garden?" Zane asked with an inclined head. He came to stand beside me, looking out the window serenely. The afternoon sun peeked through the glass and made his white hair glow.
"I do. It's very pretty."
"It is, indeed," Zane agreed. "And beneficial, too. In the maple forest grows many medicinal plants. We have a fruit orchard not far, and a vegetable garden to the side of the monastery."
"Wow." The more I learnt, the more I was overwhelmed by how impressive it all was. "I suppose that would keep the food bill down."
"Yes," Zane said, before sending me a tease of a smile. "But not by much."
I laughed quietly. I could only imagine - I saw how much the team all ate while at Skylor's Noodle House. I shuddered to think how much food went through this place.
"If you do not mind, I have a question that I have been meaning to ask," Zane continued. His ice-blue eyes tracked a frog that leapt around the edge of the garden's small pond, the gentle swaying of the bamboo stalks. I watched them, too, and returned to my spot against the window.
"Shoot," I said.
Zane's cool eyes turned to me. "How long do you intend to keep who your father is from my family?"
All of a sudden I had fallen into the pond again. Except this time I hadn't moved, and the water was far, far colder. It was sub-zero. It had stiffened me still. I felt my veins freeze into ice as I stared at Zane in horror.
"How did you..?" I breathed.
"I must confess, I was wary of you at first," Zane admitted. His eyes turned back to the garden, but I still felt the suffocating weight of them on my chest, pressing down against my lungs like a boulder. "I am ashamed to admit that a brief thought of you using Lloyd to gather intel crossed my mind."
My throat tightened. I could barely breathe. "I would never-"
"I know," Zane reassured, though his voice barely changed cadence. "I was quick to turn that thought away."
I shook my head. "Why?"
This time Zane's gaze visibly softened as he smiled small. His eyes didn't turn back to me despite my gaze burning a hole into the side of his head. "Because the way you look at him could never be fabricated."
Despite my fright, my cheeks warmed. This entire debacle wouldn't be so awful if my father, the Sargent Major, didn't publicly hate the ninja's guts alongside the rest of the government. I could only imagine what other thoughts ran through Zane's head when he found it out.
"Was that what you meant when you said you looked up stuff about me?" I asked in reference to the first time we spoke alone - me sick and with a sprained ankle, and him, identity still secret from me. He'd interrogated me back then, too.
"Yes." Zane nonchalantly adjusted the hem of his thin sweater vest to sit flat. "And as I said back then, I am only doing so to protect my family. When will you tell him?"
I rested my forehead against the glass with an exhausted sigh. "I'm not sure. I'm scared it'll change everything." And hadn't I just been the one to get hurt because Lloyd was keeping things from me? I was a hypocrite. I sent Zane a pitiful frown. "Do you hate me?"
"No." Zane's answer was quick and resolute. "Hating you for your father's profession is no better than everyone else hating Lloyd for his." He paused. "Though, this situation is comedically similar to the tale of Romeo and Juliet."
"Oh, don't say that," I bemoaned. "They both die at the end."
"Hm. True." Zane turned to me with a frown. "Nevertheless, Y/n, I do implore you to let Lloyd know soon. It is an... unfavourable predicament, to say the least, but time will only make it worse."
I closed my eyes with a tired exhale. "You're telling me." I'd only been stressing over this very thing ever since I found out who Lloyd really was. Zane didn't respond.
Lloyd arrived as our silence stretched on, severing any continuation of our conversation topic. Zane gave me a well-meaning smile with eyes that spoke volumes before departing to his room. Unsurprisingly, his bedroom door was bare of any decor.
A small part of me twinged with fear that Lloyd had overheard us with his supersonic hearing, but his bright, unsuspecting countenance told me he didn't. His blond hair was damp and ruffled into something havoc, messy from being towelled. It was cute.
"Ready to continue the tour?" Lloyd asked with a brilliant beam. I nodded, so he took me in hand and led me back down the hallway, pointing out which door belonged to who. Cole had some posters of classic rock bands, Kai had a variety of photos of his sister, friends and Skylor, and Jay's had... Jay's was a lot of everything.
"And here's my room," Lloyd said, almost shyly. He leant against the doorframe as I took in the photos of him and his team - it seemed as though they used to take a lot of selfies after big battles, as a lot of them were shots of the team looking war-torn and donning exhausted grins. That, and fictional heroes. "I don't... I've never really had anyone..."
I turned my eyes to him. He was struggling to find words, brows furrowed and face downturned. I softened.
"I know," I said with a gentle smile. He was a lot more used to personal privacy than I anticipated. "Bedrooms are sanctuaries."
The tension lining Lloyd's shoulders faded a little as his face turned with relief at my understanding. He nodded.
"I promise I won't judge," I vowed, "unless you've got dirty laundry everywhere and weeks-old mouldy food."
Lloyd chuckled lightly, a little thin. "I guess I'm in the clear."
My smile grew. I gestured to the door handle and upon his nod, I pushed it open.
The room beyond was barer than mine. A bed with a green duvet (of course) was pushed into the corner, and a desk sat at the end of it, holding only a small cup of pens, a desk light, a laptop and a low pile of notebooks. Above it was a cork board covered in notes to remember and more photos of his team at battle-ends.
On the other side of his room was a beanbag in the corner beside a long, skinny bookshelf that had comic books and ninjitsu manuals lining the shelves. A closet door was beside that, half-open. A large window took up the remaining wall, looking into the garden and sending dappled spots of sunlight against the dark carpet. A few old martial art movie posters were pasted against the walls.
It was just like Lloyd - orderly, private and clean. This was absolutely the room of the team leader of the Secret Ninja Force.
Lloyd awkwardly perched on the end of his bed as he watched me study the photos on his cork board. There was even one of Lloyd when he was teeny-tiny, grinning a wide-gapped tooth beam beside his four-armed father. It made me smile a little, though sadly. They loved each other even before their massive battle, it seemed.
I turned from the corkboard, noticing a bedside table with another light. A half-read book sat atop it, and leaning against the table on the floor was-
"Is that my old skateboard?" I asked with a confused smile. Both broken halves rested there, split almost evenly. "Why'd you keep it?"
"It felt wrong to throw it away."
"Why?" I knelt by the skateboard to take in the nostalgia of when I first bought it when I was thirteen. It was cheap but it was beside me for years. Or, rather, under my feet.
"It reminds me of the day we first met," Lloyd answered without missing a beat. I turned to look at him over my shoulder, eyes blown wide and lips parted with disbelief. His lips twitched when my heart began to beat twice as fast.
"You are so cute?" I said with a knot between my brows. I was a confusing mess of shock and infatuation, and filled to the brim with the white-knuckled urge to kiss him silly. I'd never been remembered so fondly of before, and especially not after causing someone harm. It left me floundering and flustered and unsure what to do with myself.
"Don't say that," Lloyd said with a faux sigh of disappointment. He couldn't hide the reddening of his cheeks, however. "I'm supposed to be the scary team leader. I have a reputation to keep."
"Oh, sorry. You're very terrifying."
"And balance has been restored," he said as though in reverence. He sent me a charming smile at the roll of my eyes, and I watched as his countenance began to ease into something more comfortable.
I straightened to continue my peruse of his room. I peeked my head around the open door of his closet and found a row of green and black coloured fabric, some donning worn leather, others with armour pieces dangling from the coat hangers. "Are these your gis?"
"Yep." Lloyd's voice was suddenly much closer and I jumped in surprise. He rested a hand against the edge of the closet door above my head and opened it wider. "You can have a look."
I stepped forward without hesitation, flicking through the gis curiously. There was a bunch the same as he regularly wore - the solid black with green trim and gold decals, but other styles were pushed to the back. One had heavier fabric than the others, and upon my intrigued look back at Lloyd, he shrugged.
"Digiverse stuff." He then refused to elaborate. I returned to my nosiness with a slow turn, swiping back through the suits.
I paused upon reaching a piece made of pure black and had to do a double take. I pulled it out to double check that what I was seeing was really real, before sending Lloyd a massive grin of disbelief.
"Is this a Batman suit?"
"Genuine replica." Lloyd leant on the door beside me with crossed arms and a smug smirk. "Jay made it one year when there was a Halloween contest at school. We went as the Justice Legue." He cocked his head to the side with an amused grin. "It was an inside joke."
"That's adorable if I ignore the red flag."
Lloyd registered my words slowly as I placed the suit back onto the rack. He sent me a confused frown. "What red flag?"
"That you dressed up as the Justice League and not the Avengers?"
Lloyd's brows raised. "Do you not like them?"
I sent him a long, calculating look as I assessed whether or not this was on the grounds of dumping him (it wasn't, of course). "I'm a Tony Stark truther."
He shrugged. "DC's better."
My mouth opened in horror. "You did not just say that."
"Sorry, doll. Just the truth."
I slowly shook my head. And I'd given him my first kiss, too. Who was this monster, really? "You're sick, Lloyd Garmadon."
"Uh-huh." He was unbothered. "Do you want to continue the tour or do you want to have the classic DC versus Marvel stand-off?"
I pointed at him, eyes piercing down the line of my finger and into his very own. My brows knotted further in discontent. "We'll be continuing this discussion later."
"Alright." Lloyd closed the closet door unabashedly, and it ended with his arm planted beside my ear. The tilt of his head was alluring. "You wanna check out the training wing?"
My pointing hand lowered slowly. My heart had begun to stumble again. "... yes."
Lloyd's smile grew at my admission, crooked and boyish and dreamy. It crossed over his face like the sun rising above a hill, bursting the world into warmth. He took my hand and the warmth cascaded through me, and suddenly I forgot that we were just on the precipice of the classic DC verse Marvel stand-off. I forgot that he'd been uncharacteristically guarded when I mentioned the Serpentine Tombs. I forgot my worries. My brain had unwound itself.
"Let's go, then."
I nodded listlessly, rendered dumb and helpless in the wake of his earthy, euphonious voice. How quick Lloyd could flip the switch in the back of my head. How quick I crumbled before him, leaving nothing but rubble and a racing heart.
As Lloyd led me down the hallway, I forced myself to stare out the windows and at the garden instead of searing his profile into the backs of my eyes. Love was debilitating, I decided. It made me stupid and useless and bumbling, and it was so wonderful that I wished to Lloyd's godly ancestor that this revering feeling never faded.
"You want to check out the garden before it gets dark?"
I nodded quickly, so Lloyd pushed open a set of doors for me. I stepped out onto the cobblestone path and admired the sand garden to my left, crowning the small pond Zane was watching before. A few monks were tending to the gardens. A lot of them stared at me curiously; no doubt already knowing who I was. It seemed that word travelled fast within Lloyd's world, if Skylor was anything to go by. I wondered how long it would take for me to find my place in it, if ever.
Lloyd let me explore at my own pace, lumbering behind contently as I followed the path across small wooden bridges and through the forest of maple, sakura and willow trees. He watched as I paused by magnificent greenstone statues of dragons that sat hidden amongst the trunks, smoothened by weather and age. He watched as I tried to identify the medicinal plants that Zane had mentioned, before succumbing to the fact that my thumb was about as green as the clear sky above.
"What's that?" I asked, pointing across the small pond. Beside an outdoor training yard was a fenced-off area, craftily hidden by towering bamboo. The fence was twice my height.
"It's an onsen," Lloyd answered. He found a door that was cleverly disguised and opened it for me, revealing a sizeable heated spring with smoothened stone edges and seats. The water was milky and a few pink petals from the sakura drifted across its surface. Steam rose, curling up to the sky, letting me know how hot it was even if I couldn't already feel its humidity.
"Is it some kind of heated pond?" I asked, feeling slightly awkward that my knowledge on onsens was so lacking.
"Kinda." Lloyd picked out one of the petals and flicked it to the side. "The water's pumped up from springs so it's full of minerals. It feels great after missions."
I made a hum of understanding. "How often do you go in there?"
Lloyd shrugged noncommittally. "Maybe once or twice a week after tough missions. More in winter, but that's just 'cause it's so toasty."
I smiled. I could almost picture it; heat of the water hitting the chilly winter air so vividly that the steam became a tangible thing. Snow lightly dusting the stone. The bare tree branches above splintering across the moon and veining between the stars. It looked cozy.
"Let me know if you want to hop in," Lloyd said, and I blinked back into reality. He was looking at me warmly, and I realised that he must've been staring while I was daydreaming. "I gotta warn you, though, we have to bathe nude."
The coziness of my imagination was abruptly shattered. My face turned awfully hot. "Why?"
Lloyd straightened from the edge of the pool and tossed more pink petals aside. "Tradition," he answered nonchalantly. "But mainly because we gotta keep the springs as clean as possible. We have to shower before we go in, too."
I peered at the cloudy water unsurely. "And you can't... see anything under there, right?"
Lloyd shot me an amused smirk from the side of his eyes. "Not a thing. I'll even put my hands over my eyes if that'll make you feel better."
I paused as I considered his hypothetical proposition. "... that would make me feel better, thank you."
Lloyd grinned. His hand found mine again and steered me out of the onsen's area. We entered the monastery's building again and continued down the long entrance hallway. Things began to become a little familiar, though fuzzy and unclear. I'd been through this part before.
"Here's the dining room," Lloyd said with a careless gesture to the empty room with the long table and zabutons to our left. We walked on to another familiar-looking area. "Games room. Med bay. You've been here before."
We continued into a new section, taking a turn of the hallway. This one was dotted with rice-wall doors, slid open to show off the spacious dojos and weapon rooms the monastery boasted. I pulled on ahead, tugged along by my ravenous curiosity. Lloyd wandered behind me as I took in the shelves upon shelves of swords and crossbows, armour and devices. It looked as stocked as the museum.
I slowly shook my head at the display. "This place is unreal."
"It's more normal around here than you think it is," Lloyd said. He pointed to a stain on the tatami flooring. "That's where Jay split a bowl of cereal. The milk didn't want to come out."
I shot Lloyd a grateful smile. I appreciated his attempts to mundane his inredible home down for me, even though it was in vain. I'd already gone in and out of shock twice, and now I was vying for lucky number three.
A monk with a pretty, heart-shaped face entered the room and, with a curious flicker of her eyes to me, bowed deeply.
"The afternoon class is about to begin if you would like to join, Master Lloyd."
Lloyd tensed. "I told you not to call me that, Hiyori."
Hiyori rose to her full height, revealing a smirk that didn't quite match the stereotypical tranquil monk practise she was currently pursuing - shaved head and all. "I know." She then left the room with a sweep of her red robes and a cackle. Lloyd watched her leave with an exasperated frown.
I turned to him with a wide-eyed smile. "Master Lloyd, huh?"
"Don't you start."
"No, no, of course not," I quickly said with a shake of my head. "I would never disobey you... Master Lloyd."
Lloyd shot me an irritated glare, though the upward curve of his lips gave him away. "Do you want me to throw you back into the pond?"
I raised my palms. "I'll cease."
He exhaled. "Thank you."
"Master Lloyd."
Lloyd raised his eyes to the ceiling a murmured a prayer for strength.
"Why do you have monks?" I asked as we continued down the hallway towards the dojos. "Isn't it risky to have so many people know your identity?"
"They're descendants of monks that came before them," Lloyd answered, "their lineage have been loyal to the Elemental Masters for centuries. They're the last line of defence if we fall and, well, they're family."
I looked outside the window to where a handful of monks were tending to the gardens. "They're fighters?"
"Best in all of Ninjago."
"But they look so peaceful." My eyes jumped between their faces as they weeded or trimmed bushes. Even in the sun, they wore long red robes.
"Adversaries with clear heads are adversaries unbeaten," Lloyd said. His voice turned unsure. "It's why they're better than me."
I turned to him with a face of shock. "Better than you? But you're..."
Lloyd shrugged sheepishly. "Just 'cause I'm the Green Ninja doesn't mean I'm the best. Just means I have to train harder than everyone else." He tapped the side of his head. "Too much going on up here. I'm still working on calming it down."
I could relate to that all too well. "When you get it, let me in on the secret."
A quiet laugh. "Deal."
We approached one of the larger dojos where the sound of fighting drifted from. Lloyd ushered me inside with a finger to his lips and led me to a small seating area - a handful of zabutons piled upon the tatami flooring.
Two monks were duelling with wooden swords in the middle of the room and a handful more sat watching. A few of the seated monks stared at me, and I wondered just how many of them knew about the prophecy that couldn't be spoken, and just how much they knew about it.
Circling the duel was Lloyd's dad, who watched the training with a hawk's gaze. I had the vaguest of suspicions that he never missed a thing. He barely offered us a glance at our entrance, focus razor-sharp and unyielding.
"Remember, the art of Ninjitsu is all about stealth," Garmadon said as he surveyed the fight. "You must be a shadow. You cannot make a sound."
I tried to tilt my head in an effort to pick out the duelling monks' footsteps but couldn't hear a thing. They were completely silent to the untrained ear. Beside me, Lloyd was watching the fight with the same intensity as his father. I leant closer to him.
"Are you going to be a Sensei one day?" I asked in a whisper. "Is that why they call you Master?"
Lloyd nodded. "My dad and uncle have already started training me for it, but..."
I tore my gaze from the fight after his hesitation lingered for a moment too long. "But?"
Lloyd gave a measly shrug with a face that spoke of uncertainty. "It just feels like I'll never be as good as them."
Ah. That was a universal fear, I was sure of it. Worried that you'll never be good enough, worried that you'll fall short. It was a fear I had, my parents had, my friends had. It was as common as a cold was, as reliable as the wind, but seeing it on Lloyd's face tore my heart in half.
I placed my hand over his and squeezed it. Lloyd's green eyes jumped to mine in surprise before melting into a warm smile. It was an unspoken comfort. Words weren't needed. Despite the wall I'd discovered, I was still given this much.
"Lloyd."
Lloyd and I looked up. Garmadon was watching us and the fight between the two students had ended. My face burnt as I snatched my hand back to my lap, though Lloyd didn't seem bothered.
"Would you like to join me for a demonstration?" Garmadon asked.
Lloyd grinned and leapt to his feet. "Let's give Y/n a show."