"Some people go to priests, others to poetry, I to my friends." - Virginia Wolf
Some of the best advice I received during my middle school years didn't stick until I was well into my twenties. (Possibly my thirties, truth be told.) For example, no one is looking at that blemish you're so embarrassed about, because they're too focused on their own issues to even notice yours. Envying or criticizing others is a waste of precious time and energy. There is room in the garden for all manner of flowers, and the beauty of one blossom doesn't diminish the loveliness of another. People may say cruel or hurtful things behind your back, but their words are a reflection of their true character, not yours.
It took me time to internalize some of life's finer points, and God knows there are plenty more I'm still working on (such as "moderation in all things" or, "worry is useless"). Fortunately, I was a quick study in one area that has helped me thrive in many others. This gives me hope, and makes me think I've made up for lost time. It's this all important piece of wisdom; you won't get far in life without good friends by your side.
Unlike so many aspects of our lives (significant others, cars, jobs), good friends are reliable. They'll make you laugh when you want to cry; take you to the movies when your broken heart suggests living like a hermit; and lovingly hold your hand when life hits any snag, major or minor.
You can count on friends to turn on the emergency landing lights when your inner landscape becomes so frozen and dark that you lose your bearings, and help you land the plane when you can't see the ground. In short, good friends will help you hold your world together when it feels like it is about to crumble into a million tiny pieces.
I can tell you where I was standing when each of my lifelong friends entered my story and changed the trajectory of my life- when I became permanently less alone. They appeared, and once they did, I wondered how I managed to bumble through life without their sheltering presence.
Looking back on the most difficult times in my life, when I lost family members, questioned my sanity, railed against God and convinced myself there was no hope, I've wondered if I would have survived without the love and support of my friends. I know there were times when the darkness would have enveloped me had it not been for the gift of their friendship. But those shadow days did not prevail, because God blessed me with reliable friends as guides and supports precisely when I needed them. Their unwavering support and kindness lifted me up and sustained me, and also taught me what being a friend to others truly means.
Their example showed me that friends support your dreams and hold them aloft,even when you lose faith in yourself. They will steer you towards hope and remind you that tomorrow is always a new day when you're positive all is lost.
Lovingly, gently, friends intuitively know how to knock good sense back into your head when a pity party has gone on too long. They'll never let you tarry too long in unhealthy or dangerous territory. Instead, they will help you find your way back home, all without poking deep holes in your self-esteem.
Above all, no matter how messy life becomes, good friends never flinch or run off. They are as willing to lift a toast in your honor as they are a mop and broom when your basement floods and you need a hand cleaning up the mess.
Today, if you are lucky enough to have good friends in your life, let them know how much they mean. Or, if you are in need of a friend, find someone who needs love and offer them your unwavering support. (Trust me, there are plenty of lonely people in the world who could use a great friend like you.) Remember that friends are one of life's most precious gifts. Rely on their love, and journey through life making memories and firm foundations together.
"Do not save your loving speeches
For your friends till they are dead;
Do not write them on their tombstones,
Speak them rather now instead." - Anna Cummins
Cover Art: Sascalia
* I hope you've enjoyed this essay. I very much thrive on connecting with readers through comments and messages, so please let me know what you think. Comment, vote and above all, please keep reading! It gives me hope and keeps me writing! :)