Jin Perspective
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I'm no longer worrying for Hoseok.
He stands in front of me, smiling to himself as he stares at his feet.
His hands are empty, but his ring finger will be occupied soon after,
soon after he moves on with his relationship.
I'm no longer worrying for Hoseok.
Smiling as I align the microphone near my mouth, we're going to perform, and I need to ease my breath from racing from adrenaline. Carrying myself with might, we're all in a line, a sequence, and I'm too focused on the dance moves to pay attention on Yoongi who holds bags under his eyes. The man is tired and still hiding from something. Something I don't know of yet.
My feet pat the ground, my shoes silent when compared to the maknae-line that positions themselves.
Fans are already screaming and waving their lights, the ARMY bomb. We have not yet started, and the audience is in chaos. Screaming screaming screaming, and then suddenly silent from the awe they experience when we turn and start.
I can't see the audience in full view because of the blaring spotlight heating my skin, my pores starting to sweat. But I can see an ocean of bobbling heads that squeal and enjoy our music up close and personal. We're on tv, broadcasting, and on a music show that is familiar to us – I'm not that nervous.
I sway, fight through the moves I've mastered, and do my best to not have my voice waver when I sing my parts. It's hard being an idol, singing and dancing at the same time is something to master. I feel like I've mastered it, the occasional bad day makes me think differently sometimes.
I blink, I blink, my contacts are irritating me more than usual.
When I run to the side, and let Jungkook and Taehyung sing their parts, I notice a face in the dark amongst the crowd. No longer blinded, I smile when I notice you with your very own light stick. You see me in awe of your sudden presence and I almost trip when Yoongi pushes me onto stage for my part that nears.
The fans see me disoriented for a second. They're confused, and I hear it through the changes of their screams. I swallow hard, focus on the performance of 'DNA' as I strike for my solo. I blush, I see you smile with laughter from my embarrassing fails and that eventually makes me smile like an idiot.
Your eyes are on me,
and I'm aware your eyes are on me.
Involuntarily, unknowingly, I work harder, dance harder, and sing with all my heart.
I put on a show for you and your screams are what I hear, as you enjoy yourself, clap and sing. You're with the rest of the ARMY that are oblivious to who you are...
And what you mean to me. Stop it Jin! I scold myself, focus!
The performance finishes with a bang, my neck is sweating, my jacket is warming up. The jean I wear is black, so it absorbs the light that makes me hotter, while my feet numbingly move quick down the stairs to backstage. As I sneak off stage however, I consider the audience and spot where you once were.
You aren't there any longer, my eyes narrow.
"Yah, that was good." Hoseok chimes, smiling hugely. I wonder if he's happy because of the performance going well, or because of his life now has a fiancée to cherish. I think it's the second one.
"It was," Jimin laughs, noticing Hoseok overly excited when we stomp past other idols, and towards our specific room in the back. "I'm just glad we don't have another broadcast until the concert coming soon."
"Ahh, I can't wait to rest man," Jungkook mumbles, wiping the sweat off his face with the sleeve of his jean jacket. Moving into the room and following the others that are beyond tired, just like him.
I witness them out of breath and notice that I'm probably the same. Everyone speaks other than one of us who is missing tonight. As a band we falsely told the fans that Namjoon was on sick leave, but, the man was hiding in a secret cabin somewhere with the mystery girl that had jumped in our car a while back. I hope he's okay...and I hope he watches our performance without him today, and is proud!
I smile to myself as the others fool around, speak of the performance, and laugh in conversations I stay quiet and listen to for now.
I watch,
Hoseok smile.
Jungkook smile.
Jimin smile.
Taehyung smile.
Yoongi's smile doesn't seem to exist.
I stare at Yoongi for a long moment. When he stares at me, I stare away quickly and save any panic or defensive mumbling as I say, "I'll be back. I'm going to use the washroom."
With that, I leave.
Yoongi eyes me carefully as I do.
The hallways are packed with people, then empty the next.
I walk, bumping into walls when allowing groups of idols walk by me. Bending and greeting as politely I can, I'm too tired and sweaty to be clearly presentable so I pick up my pace with a hurry. I get the stalls, throw open the door and toss the tissue I used to dab into the garbage.
My feet drag to the urinal. My hands are on my zipper. Staring at the wall in front of me, I start to pee. It is tiled and white. I see a mismatched black blur on the surface when noticing another form joining the washroom.
The feet work to my side. Not choosing the four other urinals away from me, this individual stands right next to me. This individual stands at the urinal right next to mine. It takes me a while to look over, awkward and about to greet them – my weirdness for them falls when I see who it is.
It's you.
You're smirking and pretending to arch your pelvis forth, mimicking me peeing. I snort, laughing before finishing and quickly putting myself together again. "How'd you get in here?!" I'm genuinely surprised, trying to keep it down from laughing so loudly, I turn over to go wash my hands.
"Shh, they'll kick me out thinking I'm trying to harass you." Your voice is sweet and cute as you run to my back. Hugging me from behind while resting your chin to my shoulder, you coo, "I don't want to be forced into leaving so soon. I want some alone time first...especially since I snuck my way here. You know...because I'm a sneaky lil' bit– "
"Aye," I scold, grabbing at a napkin to wipe my wet hands. I can't help but smile when I feel you wobble with me, staying glued to my back for a hug.
"Aye." You make fun of my voice.
As I turn, I grab your hips and try to pull away from you. But the clasp of your hands around my neck makes me snuggle close to your hug.
You look up at me. Smiling flirtatiously, eyes happier than ever. You look light, beautiful, and unalarmed of my sweaty body that presses to yours.
"I loved seeing you up there today."
I smile a little. Giving into your hug, I wrap my hands around your waist and wobble with you, allowing you to cutely drag me towards a bathroom stall.
"I loved seeing you here today." I laugh, almost tripping when we enter the tiny stall. "It was a surprise I wasn't expecting."
"Well duh," you tease, "that's what surprises are."
"Don't be a smart ass with me, that's my job."
"We have roles to follow now?" You coo, leaning forward with a beautiful tap of your nose to mine.
"Yes."
"Hm." You lean to kiss me.
I laugh into your face, arching my head back and popping it out the stall to catch a glimpse of the door.
"Seriously, we shouldn't be doing this here. I'm an idol surrounded by idols, in an area where idols perform." I laugh loudly when your brow cocks.
"Well I want to kiss my idol, surrounded by idols, in an area where idols perform." You whisper, grabbing my cheeks and rushing to kiss me. I smile into your kiss, caving in for a second.
You slowly kiss me but I ruin the moment yet again, pushing my mouth away.
"Y/N, I—"
"Let me kiss you," you whine. It is the cutest thing, I smile, genuinely giving in and moving in to thoroughly match my mouth with yours.
Humming in contentment we both do, our eyes widen and snap mid-kiss when hearing the door to the bathroom open.
You laugh, I laugh. Placing my hand on your mouth so you aren't obvious, I close the door of the stall and lock it. You take that step to leap into my arms, having me catch you so your feet aren't seen under the gaps.
Shoes walk along the tiles and towards the urinal. It's quiet as the man pees. I'm trying not to laugh the entire time, but your snorting against my palm distracts me and makes me want to laugh louder.
"Jin hyung?" The voice of the man hums, "You still in here?" It's Yoongi who pees.
My eyes widen. You grin by my palm, flinch away and start to teasingly kiss my neck. I'm scolding you to behave and control yourself, all while holding you tight against me so you don't fall.
"Y-Yeah, Yoongi-ah." I speak with hesitation, "Just got a stomach ache so I'm seeing how this goes. I'll say hi to my turds for you." Yoongi doesn't laugh at my poop joke.
"Okay." His voice is bored.
I don't notice the clear distraction in Yoongi's tone as I'm stuck being weirdly aroused by your lips on my skin. You nip, nibble, and tease while I try to continue in flinching away; eventually I'm no longer flinching, caving into the arousal I feel.
"You in here alone?"
That scares me.
"Yes, Yes!" I grab your chin and force you away from my neck. Trying to get you to stand on the toilet, you're like a stubborn koala as you jump on me again, climbing onto my back like a tree when I turn.
I fall forward, embarrassingly bumping into the stall door before me causing a huge thud. Yoongi's curiousity and confusion to the noise can be smelt from where I now stand with red cheeks.
You giggle at my ear then close your own lips sealed. I huff in a breath, hastily figuring out a quick lie. "Damn!" I yell exaggeratedly, "there's no tissue paper!" Then I slam the door again. It doesn't sound like my body slamming in like earlier, but it's close.
Yoongi starts to wash his hands. "I'll pass you some, I guess. Wait."
As the water falls, I scold you under my breath and place you on the toilet again. You stand on it, ducking your head and not wanting to be seen. You pout but I try to stay strong.
"Why ask if I was alone? Everything alright?" I'm fanning my face with my hands. This is another tiring workout on its own.
The water stops.
Yoongi's feet are heard and it sounds like he's coming closer to the stall. "Yes, I uh..." the man is hesitant and my eyes narrow suddenly.
Even you're intrigued from the way you're no longer playful and listening to the oblivious idol on the other end.
"I wanted to talk to you about something," Yoongi says softly, breathless and almost...scared?