"And indeed We created man and We know what his ownself whispers to him. And We are nearer to him than his jugular vein (by Our Knowledge)."
[ Qaf : 16 ]
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Ibrahim's shoulders were tensed, his jaw tight. The sleeves of his neatly pressed shirt which had hastily been rolled up a few inches a while ago gave a clear view of his hands that were fisted tightly. His lips too were pursed but other than that his face was wiped clean of all sort emotions giving no clue as to what was running in his mind.
With each step he took forward, Ibrahim could feel his brother's eyes boring into his back trying to assess his every move. His brother was trying to gauge his line of thinking, trying to read the slightest hint of reaction he could notice. And from what one could make out, he was failing miserably at it.
From his peripheral vision Ibrahim could even see his sister standing at the entrance of the room, her child in her arms, waiting to peek into his head and to know what he was thinking.
He headed to the couch ignoring the way both the husband and wife seem to have had made him the subject of their scrutiny. He could already see the gears shifting in his sister Eshaal's head, could already imagine Tanvir calming her down but all of that came later. At present he had to break it to them and it was harder than what he had earlier thought of it to be.
"This is the twentieth meeting and I'm intending on making it my last." Ibrahim announced noisily slumping on the couch and choosing to make himself comfortable. He closed his eyes before moving his right arm and placing it over them. "This is the last one."
"I don't get it." He heard Tanvir say. "In the sense you are okay with this proposal and are planning to go ahead with it?"
Ibrahim shifted his hand a little to see his sister standing a few feet from him. His eyes then flickered to her husband who seemed as anxious as her. He could practically smell the apprehension in the atmosphere and he hated it. Even the stench of planning and plotting that seemed to float in the air was too hard to ignore. He hated that they were waiting to know what he was thinking, he hated that they were waiting for his decision with hopeful expressions while all he could do was sulk at how things had gone just a while ago. He had disliked the man. Moreso, he had disliked how he had made him feel.
"I mean to say this cannot go on. I mean to say I'm fed up of having people look me up and down as if I'm not worth anything. And I mean to say I hate their guts. This guy was the last straw. I am not and will never be wanting to meet anyone regarding this matter again."
"Bhai-", Eshaal started.
"Period." Ibrahim shut her up leaving no room for argument.
Eshaal's cheeks tinged pink with anger. Her face scrunched up. The only thing which seemed missing in order to make her look like a real angry figure was the smoke from her ears. She shook her head at him muttering a few things under her breath before handing over her kid to her husband. "Take her." She then turned around and marched off inside the house making sure she let her brother know she didn't like what he was doing in the least.
Just as Eshaal disappeared inside the house, her daughter stirred in her husband's arms and he turned all his attention towards her, cooing over her, rocking her back and forth with such care and with so much love that Ibrahim was left no choice but to smile at the scene ahead. His foul mood left him in an instant. Just like a deflated balloon all his pent up frustration left him and he quickly sat up from the couch beckoning his brother to take a seat so his niece could be comfortable again.
He waited until he thought it was safe to speak again. "Has she fallen asleep?"
"Yes, she has. She didn't sleep yesterday, stayed awake the whole night so nothing would wake her up now." Tanvir smiled at the little bundle in his arms and took a seat across Ibrahim. "Look how she sleeps with such a sweet smile on her face after having yelled her lungs out the night before." He chuckled softly.
"You mean to say you stayed awake the whole night with her?"
"Not entirely. Eshaal and I took turns. I would have caught four hours of sleep tops and it's the same story almost every other day. My lil' one could not differentiate between night and day and has so much energy that she hardly wants to waste it by sleeping."
"Woah man! You don't look like someone who has only four hours of sleep on an average."
Tanvir smiled, his face mellowing with a quick glance at the jewel he held. His three months old daughter was dressed in a yellow summer frock and cute red infant socks. Her hands were balled up, her eyes shut tightly as she smiled in her sleep. Her negligent brows were raised. She was probably dreaming of something nice, something beautiful, pleasant. He wished for her to stay that way. "Some days it gets too much with the workload at office and all but then, she is worth all that I'd have to face. Worth all the hours of sleep that I'd have to miss. Even when I'm having a terrible day one look at her eyes, one kiss on her cheeks, one smile on her face and all my tiredness melts away."
Ibrahim looked down at her fondly, prodding at her fist with his long fingers. "She is tiny but still manages to hold all our hearts in her little fist."
"True Masha'Allah."
They fell silent for a while neither speaking what was on their mind, both unaware of how to broach the topic.
"This cannot go on forever you know." Tanvir was the first to speak.
"What cannot go on forever?"
"Oh come on! Don't act as though you don't know what I'm talking about."
Ibrahim drew in a deep breath. "But did you see the way he was asking me questions? Did you at least hear the questions he had to ask? He had the audacity to--" Ibrahim left the sentence hanging for fear of losing his temper.
"Okay, I admit he was rude but that doesn't mean all the fathers out there who have daughters are going to be the same!"
"Most are!"
"But not all!"
"Every single one of those who I met were unreasonable. Every. Single. One."
"Ibrahim", Tanvir said calmly, "is their attitude the reason or is there something else?"
"Not you too!" Ibrahim buried his face in his hands and groaned seemingly tired of having that question directed at him time and again. His mother, then father, sister and now his brother-in-law.
"No, I'm not listening to what your parents or your sister have to say. I'm asking you as a friend, as a brother, as a well wisher, tell me what is on your mind. Maybe I can help you out with it."
Ibrahim looked away unable to meet his brother's eyes. He settled with the curtains instead, watching how they interweaved and parted in the breeze. Silence stretched. The ticking of the grandfather clock hung in the living room grew loud and distinct.
"Ibrahim", Tanvir pressed. "I agree the guy we met today had no filter in his mouth but that was not the same case with everyone else. Of course they had questions, questions which made you uncomfortable but what else do you expect from them? They were contemplating handing over their daughter to you and that's not a joke. Of course they would have wanted to know about you in and out.
"Take me for instance, my daughter is hardly three months old but I already fear the day she'd leave me for someone else. I fear the day I'd have to place her hand in someone else's. I fear her moving away, I fear the things she'd have to encounter alone while growing up. I fear for the hurt she might feel, the rejection she might have to face. I fear she won't be able to settle, I fear she'd not be happy. I fear he'd make her cry. I fear a hundred different things when it comes to her and it is the same with everyone else. No one wants to hand over their daughter to someone who cannot meet their standards. Forget about me, think about the way you threatened to break my bones if I ever harm Eshaal."
Ibrahim involuntarily smiled recollecting how he had threatened to break Tanvir's bones if he ever caused pain to his sister. "And the threat still holds good."
His brother rolled his eyes. "If you could threaten me - actually threaten me for real then it is perfectly alright if someone wants to throw abrupt questions at you."
Ibrahim refused to open his mouth, eyes still transfixed on the curtains.
"Tell me what is actually bothering you."
"I'm scared." It was barely a whisper.
"Huh?"
"I'm scared I won't be able to find her."
Tanvir carefully got up with his kid and walked away. When he returned without her moments later, Ibrahim was still seated in the same place, eyes still on the same curtains.
"Tell me what makes you think you won't find her."
Ibrahim exhaled placing his elbows on his knees, joining his finger tips and pinching the bridge of his nose. "I just feel so."
"There is a reason why you feel so."
"It's them alright!" Ibrahim looked up gritting his teeth. "It's those stupid men I meet in those stupid meetings. Their questions and their opinions and their way of thinking. Tell me do I look like an extremist with just a little facial hair? In what angle does that make me an extremist? I'm just trying to follow a Sunnah over here. Why don't they get it? Why does my beard have to be a problem? And why do they have to be bothered that my father is retired and that I'd have to care of my parents? For God's sake I'm the one living with my parents and it's not the other way round!" Ibrahim threw his hand in the air in exasperation.
"Don't even let me get started on those stupid divisions. Community and what not! They always seem to have a problem when I do not belong to their community. Am I looking for a wife or for something else? Why does it have to matter whether I'm a labbai or a dekkani or a pathan or something else? Is it not enough that I'm a Muslim? On what basis does categorizing people by their community work? Why do we have to divide ourselves by communities when Allah has united us by faith? Why? Just why?"
Tanvir blinked not having been accustomed to this side of Ibrahim. "So...", he drawled.
"I'm fed up of having to look at the face of such men. If they do this, what guaranty is it that their daughters won't do it too? How can I be sure their daughters won't think of my parents as baggage too? I come as a package, family and all and if they can't understand that I don't want to meet any of them."
"Being afraid of starting a new journey does not assure you safety in your abode."
"Being alone in my abode is much better than starting a new journey with someone I'm not compatible with", countered Ibrahim.
"But this can't go on forever."
"Look Tanvir", Ibrahim pursed his lips. "I do not expect huge things like some guys out there. All I want is a woman I can call my wife. Someone who would know my weaknesses and not judge me for it. Someone who would love my parents and treat them with respect. That is all I ask for. Nothing more."
Tanvir grinned. "I thought you'd say something along the lines 'would help me reach my Creator', 'strengthen my ties with Him'." No sooner had Tanvir finished the sentence, a pillow landed on his face.
"Will you stop teasing me?"
"What? You mean to say you don't want someone like that?"
"Sheesh. I know how life really works alright. It doesn't work the way these cheesy romance stories like to show you. Your spouse cannot bridge the gap between your Creator and you. Of course both can help each other reach their goals but you don't find God through your spouse! You find your spouse through God instead. In fact, you need to have a strong connection with your Creator first through which you can find your spouse, through which you both can cement a stronger bond."
"I wonder how you know these things. Don't tell me you have secretly married someone. One or two", Tanvir pretended to count off his fingers, "maybe--oompf." A second pillow landed on his face. He grabbed it. "The guy was right in his assumption bro. You are rude." The pillow was thrown back at Ibrahim.
"So are you. I'm worried that I can't find one wife without having to navigate through horrid people and you are joking about me being married more than once man."
"Ouch. Sorry man. That was a sore spot. By the way", Tanvir's playful expression changed, "what you spoke about the community issue - I think it is really valid yaar. Most do not even realise what sort of a grave mistake they are committing by paying heed to such trivial things. Dividing ourselves by something which has no basis in Islam can lead to destructive situations. Making communities as criterions will never help you find a pious spouse."
Nodding in acceptance to what Tanvir said, Ibrahim's thoughts flew back to the time Eshaal had first met Tanvir in his presence. The meet had demanded at least one mehram of Eshaal to be present and he was the one who had tagged along. Ibrahim had to stifle a smile thinking of the way both had behaved around each other initially - completely unsure of what to do and what not to do; walking on eggshells was what they had done.
When things had worked out, Ibrahim's family had had difficulty in letting their princess go but Tanvir had made sure she was in no way treated any less than what she was at home. In fact, he had gone a step ahead in making her his queen. Ibrahim's fear, his parents' anxiousness, none of them had lasted more than a few days, eventually subsiding after seeing how happy she truly was with her husband.
"Had we thought of your community to be an issue, you would have never gotten my sister's hand in marriage." Ibrahim wondered out aloud.
Tanvir eyes instantly travelled in the direction of the room his little angel was sleeping in. "And I would have never gotten her", he murmured. "But khair, Allah plans for the Best. Our match was predestined and so you is yours but do tell me how you are going to find her if you don't take any initiative."
"It will happen when it has to but for now, I'm tired. Let me be. It will happen when it has to and when Allah Wills it to be." Ibrahim ambled to the refrigerator loosening the buttons of his shirt leaving his brother still dissatisfied with his answer.
"Nice way of trying to shirk your responsiblities bro."
"I know bro."
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Glossary:
communities - I'm not very sure about the wider world but in India, people divide themselves into communities and those communities play a huge role when it comes to selecting suitors. It has no base in Islam and is of utter waste if you actually ponder over it deeply.
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Answers please!
🎯 How did you feel reading about Ibrahim after such long time? 😄
🎯 What are your thoughts regarding his insecurities?
🎯 Do you think communities should be considered while selecting suitors?
🎯 What are your general thoughts on communities?
🎯 Would you like reading about our 'other' characters over here? 😄😄😄
🎯 Is there anything else you wanna talk to me about?
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I'm really really sorry for the delay. I'm just that sort of a person who needs inspiration to write, draw, paint, basically do everything under the sun. And I've been getting inspired at very odd times these days. Like for instance when I'm getting ready to go to college or when I'm preparing to sleep or in the middle of a lecture😶 You know what will happen when I write at those times 🤕 so I had to wait but don't worry Insha'Allah I'd try to update once in a week here on. Hold on tight. The plot thickens with the upcoming chapters.
See you soon Insha'Allah.
Assalamu alaikum warahmathullahi wabarakatahu buddies!