A love worth fighting for
Penelope's POV
Napabalikwas ako ng bangon nang magising ako sa malakas na katok na naggagaling mula sa labas. Groaning, the clock says it's already past midnight and whoever is knocking at my door clearly doesn't know the fact that it's already time for sleep and he or she shouldn't be knocking as someone's door like a madman.
The person was knocking so hard I wouldn't be surprise if the neighbors will come screaming at him.
"Saglit lang." Sigaw ko at bago lumabas ng kwarto ay kumuha muna ako ng mapinis na shawl na ibinalot ko sa balikat ko dahil nakasuot lang ako ng isang manipis na silk night dress.
The knockings grew even louder and I was almost annoyed at that person behind the door.
"I'm coming!" I yelled and opened the door only too see a drunken Maddox, one arm leaning against the wall in front of him, head resting against it while one hand was about to knock once again.
"Maddox." I whispered and studied him. There was a strong smell of alcohol coming from him and I knew he had been drinking.
Raising his head, I saw that his eyes were bloodshot red. "Finally, you opened the door."
"You're drunk."
"Just a little." He tried to stand straight but he almost fell. Thankfully, he managed to balance himself by leaning against the wall.
Napapikit nalang ako sa lagay ni Maddox. I've never seen him this drunk before and I felt like crying as I watch him struggle. He looked miserable. "Maybe you should go home."
"No, I'm not going home." He stated firmly. "We need to talk, babe."
"We can talk tomorrow when your sobber." I suggested. I really don't know how to deal with a drunk person. "Where's your phone? I'm gonna call someone to drive you home."
Behind him is his sports car which is not parked properly and was almost in the middle of the road. He shouldn't have driven to my house in his state. Pano kung sa sobrang kalasingan niya ay may hindi magandang mangyari sa kanya?
"Let's talk now. Please, El?" He grabbed both my arms and begged. "I have to... I need to apologize. I.. I'm such a jerk and... and- F*ck it!" He screamed and wiped his face with his hand in frustration.
I gasped when he suddenly punched the wall beside him repeatedly until I had to stop him.
"Dammit! Dammit!" He screamed and cried as he punched the wall.
"Stop. Maddox, stop. You're hurt." I had to touch his arms to stop him as I couldn't keep all the emotions from flooding in.
I can't help but cry when I saw that his knuckles were already bleeding as Maddox sat on the ground with one knee up, both hands clutching his head. He looked...ruined.
"I know it was my father. Hindi ko alam kung anong sinabi niya sayo at nakipaghiwalay ka sa akin. Why didn't you tell me? I had to hear from someone else." He said, eyes accusing me.
"How-" Then it clicked. Who else would tell him but Luke?
"Don't listen to my father. Please naman wag mo siyang paniwalaan. Whatever he told you, it's all lies! I thought... I thought you don't love me anymore that you have someone else kaya ka nakipaghiwalay ka sa akin. I thought I was going insane and when I saw you and Luke together I just snapped."
"I was hurt from your words, Maddox. You defended me from Sean for insulting me at the party but then you accused me the same thing."
Nasaktan talaga ako ng labis sa mga sinabi niya. Nagalit din ako dahil hindi ko akalain na kaya niya akong sabihan ng mga ganong klaseng bagay.
He looked up, eyes filled with tears and regret. "I'm f*cking sorry El. I was a jerk. I didn't mean to say those things to you. I'm such an asshole. Please forgive me. The slap you gave me wasn't enough. You can punch me, kick me, anything you want just come back to me, please." He cried and my hand ached to touch him, wipe his tears and tell him everything's okay. "The two days without you was complete hell. Two days and I already miss you. I don't think I can live without you, El."
Wiping my tears, I knelt down beside him and grabbed his wounded hand. Removing the shawl around me to wipe the blood in his head, he grabbed my wrist and placed my palm against his chest.
"You feel that?" Maddox looked up with his eyes full of different emotions. "Do you feel that loud thumping? How my heart beats only for you? How much it's hurting right now? Can you feel it all?"
"Yes." I asnwered softly.
"I love you. I will always love you." He caressed my cheek and I couldn't help but lean to his touch. I've missed him too.
His skin was abnormaly hot against mine. I wasn't going to make a big deal out of it but then, Maddox's head dropped over my shoulder.
Dinama ko ang noo nito at mainit nga ito. "Maddox, ang init mo ah."
He only groaned in response and mumbled the word sorry over and over again.
"You're sick." Nag-aalala kong sambit. Gamit ang buong lakas ko ay itinayo ko si Maddox at ipinasok sa bahay habang ang katawan niti ay nakasuport sa akin.
What did he do to himself? He couldn't even walk properly. With all the strength I have, I managed to lay him in the bed and removed his shoes.
"Ano bang ginawa mo sa sarili mo Maddox at nagkakaganito ka?" Sambit ko sa halos wala nang malay na si Maddox.
Iniwan ko muna siya sa kama at kumuha ng isang palangganang tubig at maliit na twalya. Pagbalik ko sa kwarto ay hinuhubad na ni Maddix ang t-shirt na suot nita.
"Hot. It's so hot." He mumbled, discarding the shirt on the floor and laid in bed again.
With the basin of water and a clean cloth, I used it to wipe and clean his body, being extra careful with his wounded hand.
I studied his face. He seemed at peace in his sleep. After all the things he told me, I still love him. I can't get myself to hate him.
He looked so distressed. There.are dark shadows under his eyes and indicating that he haven't been sleeping right.
"I'm so sorry Maddox." I whispered and kissed his forehead before going to the kitchen to get him some medicine and a glass of water.
Placing the glass of water beside the basin, I softly caressed his cheeks. "Maddox, wake up. You have to take medicine."
He groaned before slowly opening his eyes. He smiled softly when he saw me. "My lovely El. If this is a dream then I've gone f*cking insane."
"It's not a dream, Maddox. Come on, drink this."
"I don't need that, I need you." He whispered in a raspy voice. "Lay down beside me, please. I've missed sleeping in bed with you."
"Okay, but you have to take this first then I am going to lay beside you." I suggested and thankfully, he obliged and after a few minutes, he fell asleep again.
I sat in the small couch beside the window to watched him sleep and check his temperature from time to time. I don't know how many hours I've spent watching him until I fell asleep.
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Paggising ko ay nakahiga na ako sa kama. Ang huling natatandaan ko ay nakatulog ako sa couch habang binabantayan si Maddox. Bumangon kong bigla nang maalala si Maddox. He isn't in bed but when I roamed my eyes around the room, I found him sitting on the floor with his back resting against the wall.
Nakayuko siya kaya hindi ko makita ang mukha nito. Inalis ko ang kumot na nakapatong sa akin at nilapitan ito.
"Maddox, maayos na ba ang pakiramdam mo?" Tawag ko sa pangalan nito. "What are you doing on the floor?"
He looked up and sorrow displayed in his eyes. "I don't think I deserve to lay in bed with you. I wanted to be closer to you. My hands are itching to touch you but I can't. I am disgusted at myself. How can I call you a... a... f*ck!"
I was about to touch his cheeks but he flinched.
"Don't touch me, please."
Kahit na pinigilan ako nito ay hinaplos ko parin ang pisngi nito. He leaned closer to my touch. "Stop hating yourself Maddox. Okay na. Alam ko namang hindi mo sinasadya ang mga nasabi mo. Kung meron mang dapat na humingi ng tawad, ako yun."
Nang maalala ko ang araw na nakipaghiwalay ako sa kanya, hindi ko na napigilang umiyak. Hinila ako ni Maddox at niyakap ng mahigpit. "Don't cry, babe. Please don't cry."
"Naging mahina ako Maddox. Inaamin kong naging makasarili ako. Hindi ko man lang inisip ang mararamdaman mo kapag nakipag-hiwalay ako sayo. I'm sorry, I was too weak. I'm sorry, I gave up so easily. I'm sorry, I couldn't fight for our relationship. I still love you, Maddox. Please give me another chance."
"Sshh... it's okay." Maddox soothed, caressing my hair as I cried in his chest. "You don't have to ask, El. We never broke up. I know it's been two days since that day. I only gave time on your own, to realize that it's not worth to leave. That night, when you wanted to break up with me, I told myself that I wouldn't allow it that I will only give you time to think."
"So are we still together?" Tanong ko habang nakatingin dito.
"Of course, and there's nothing that will break us apart." He whispered, planting a kiss on my forehead. "It was hell without you. Promise me, El. You will never leave me again."
"I promise."
"I love you." Cupping my cheeks, he connected our lips and it felt like it's been years since we kissed each other. I'm only realizing now how much I really miss his kisses, how his arms pulled me closer to his body and how he caressed my face softly.
He licked my lower lip, asking for permission and I gladly opened my mouth to give him access. He groaned when our tounge touched and he pulled me even closer. We were chest to chest to each other, so close that I can even feel our hearts beating like a beautiful melody.
How can I hurt someone like him?
"I love you, Maddox. I will never ever leave you again."
"Even if you do try, I won't let you." He whispered.