"Hey Shizuka," Kazumi called out asking. "Are you okay? You haven't really spoken much."
"Oh sorry, it's just... I'm really tired that's all, "I lied. In reality, I am trembling on the inside by just the thought of going back home. This mission has been nothing like my previous ones. How am I going to face my family after the things I had to do? I would like to imagine that they would be proud of me. Why do I feel so much guilt? I had to do those things to protect the village. I had no other choice... right?
"What's the first thing you're going to do once we get back in the village?" Akihiro asked interrupting me from my train of thought.
"Go home, eat, take a shower and just sleep for the rest of my life," I sighed tiredly avoiding eye contact. My team and I were assigned to an S rank mission which has lasted a little over two years. Even though I have been an ANBU for almost seven years this was my longest mission yet.
"I swear once we're inside the gates I know none of you guys until our next mission. Which better not be anytime soon!" Kazumi exclaimed trying to lighten up the mood. But even I could tell that she wasn't doing okay either, there was fear in her eyes.
Unlike myself, Kazumi and Akihiro have been in the ANBU for five years. They came around the same time and I later found out that they have been dating for a while. The luck of them being on the same team is purely by chance but one thing is for sure. I'm surprised and impressed by how professional they can be with each other especially on missions like this one.
"Agreed," the rest of us responded speeding up our pace to not fall behind. As we kept making our way through the slowly clearing path I found myself running my hands over the newly formed scar next to my right ear. My fingertips grazing my mother's earrings as well as my own in the process.
'Do I really want to continue being an ANBU?' Recently I have been asking myself this same question over and over again. As quickly as those thoughts came I shook them out of my head. 'Maybe I am just homesick...'
"Come on guys I can practically see the village from here!" I exclaimed forcefully putting on a cheerful face. 'Hopefully seeing my family can lift my spirits...'
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" 'Come on' they said 'just around the corner' they said," Akihiro muttered annoyingly in the back sending daggers my way. "You did not just make me run two miles after a long mission in this heat." Okay so maybe I was stretching the truth when I said I spotted the village... just a little though.
"Oh please stop complaining-look you can see the gate from here," I commented relieved to finally see the gates to Konoha so close.
"Alright team quiet down," Eiji, our team captain, ordered waiting for us to obey allowing him to continue. "Alright once we make it inside go home... please this has been a long mission and like Kazumi said I also don't want to see your faces anytime soon," he joked trying to lighten up the mood. "I will be giving the mission report. Remember rest up and wait for your next mission but always be on alert."
"Hai!" we all agreed before walking up towards the gate. 'Mm weird why are the Hokage's faces covered with paint?' Seems like I'm not the only one thinking this as the rest of my team stares up in confusion on why someone would do this! 'How much have we missed in these past two years? Seems to me like the youth nowadays doesn't know how to be respectful... oh how I miss Guy.'
"Well I'm done here, bye guys see you around," Kazumi called out catching my attention back towards the group.
"Same here, bye!" Akihiro spoke out catching up to Kazumi as they walked into the crowd of villagers. I, on the other hand, was a little more reluctant to go inside.
"You alright Shizuka?" my team captain asked walking towards me. "You seemed pretty excited to be coming back home just a while ago."
"O-oh, believe me, I'm thrilled to be back it's just that... it doesn't feel like I'm actually back here and well..." I trailed off not able to think of the right words.
"Don't let it bother you too much. It happens to the best of us believe me. It will you do good going home and catching up with family and friends."
"Hai Captain," I obeyed pulling a tight smile. 'How did Eiji manage to keep his emotions in check even after these types of missions? I guess you just get used to it eventually... do I want that?' With one last nod, I walked further into the village mixing into the crowd of villagers.
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Walking down the streets of Konoha filled me up with a bittersweet feeling. Lots of memories came rushing in both good and bad, but still, I treasure them all. The only thing that upset me was wondering if anything will ever be the same. My friends and I didn't end on a good note when they found out about my mission. Let's just say they weren't too happy that I was still in the ANBU. Especially when finding out about this mission. 'Maybe I'll feel better once I see my family... yes that sounds right.' Quickly I hurried my way down the familiar road leading towards my family's house.
Approaching the wooden door I pulled my hair untucking it from my ear to cover the scar. Bringing my hand up ready to knock on the door I retreated my hand slowly standing frozen in my spot. Just being here in front of my house already brought me so much relief calming me down a bit. Slowly until I finally had the courage I hesitantly brought my hand up once again this time knocking a couple of times as my stomach filled up with butterflies waiting for my mother to answer. It was still early in the morning so Shikamaru should be at the Academy and my dad at work with the Hokage.
"Coming," I heard a faint response from my mom followed by light footsteps making their way towards the door. Finally with a slight turn of the knob the door opened revealing my beautiful mother. Her tired eyes still held the same worried look she had when I told her I was leaving for my mission.
"Hey m-mommy," I whispered as tears filled my eyes.
"Oh my baby!" my mother exclaimed bringing me into a bone-crushing hug which I gladly returned. "You're actually here," she cried pulling away cupping one of my checks. Her soft fingertips grazing under my eyes wiping away the tears that have fallen.
"I-I missed you so m-much."
"Oh I've missed you more-Oh my god are you okay! Did you get hurt?" she exclaimed going into mother mode quickly checking me for any injuries. "Oh sweetie what happened?" she questioned softly tucking my hair back behind my ear eyeing the scar with concerned eyes.
Finding no words to explain all I could do was cry harder remembering what I have been trying to push back all this time. Sure this was just one scar but it brought back so many terrifying memories of the torture and of the people who lost their lives on this mission.
"Shhh it's alright, you're here now. You're safe..." my mom whispered comfortingly into my ear after bringing me into a warm hug. "I've got you."
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My mother kept me in her arms until I stopped crying and I reassured her a couple of times that I was fine now. Still, she looked hesitant to believe me but decided not to push it any further. She then led me to the restroom urging me to wash up so I could go to sleep for a while before lunch. I felt nice laying in my bed being able to sleep with multiple pillows and blankets.
I did manage to get a few hours of sleep before getting up to clean my messy room. Almost everything was covered in a thin layer of dust, there were a lot of drawers that had been open with things piling out including clothes and paper, the floor had lots of boxes and clothes scattered around, and of course, the bed was a mess. Usually, it's never like this but because of how rushed I was when I was packing for the mission I didn't care to organize everything back before leaving. Let's just say I'm a very frantic person when it comes to packing.
'Wow, it's very crowded here maybe it's time for me to get my own place... I mean I am 25...' Moving out has been in the back of my mind since I turned 19. The plan was always for Kurenai and me to move out together but as you can see it didn't quite work out that way. I found it easier to just stay with my family since I usually was out on missions.
"Shizuka please come down for lunch!"
"Okay, mom I'll be down there in a second!" I responded putting the last of the boxes into the closet. Closing my bedroom door I made my way toward the kitchen to help my mom set up the table for our lunch. My dad and brother won't be back until dinner time so it will just be us.
"I made your favorite," my mom stated in a sing-song voice handing me the plates to set up.
"Ah, thanks, mom! You have no idea how much I have craved your food!" My mouth watered by just the thought of my mom's homemade rice balls and I quickly set up the table already eager to eat.
"Oh, honey a mother always knows."
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Hello readers! Thank you for clicking on my story, I hope you enjoy it. Please if you have any critic don't be afraid to tell me, I'm always looking for ways to improve my writing!