By the time lunch rolled around, nothing eventful had occurred. Harry noticed that the talk and the stares from the football team and cheerleaders started to dissipate. It seemed like Louis' promise of getting them to stop talking worked, and Harry was thankful for that. It made his day run a lot smoother, and his classes were not as dreadful.
However, what did distract Harry was his conversation with Louis. It left him more confused than ever, and he had so many unanswered questions about what Louis was going through. Overall, it seemed like there was a distant chance, and it lit a tiny spark of hope inside that sort of was making it harder for him to resist.
Louis said he couldn't be what Harry wanted yet , as in, there would be a time when he could be. He just had no idea how long that time frame would be, and he wasn't sure how long he was willing to wait for that.
After Harry had grabbed his lunch bag from his locker, he turned on his feet and started to head towards the back exit of the school. He saw that Stan and a couple of football players were huddled outside the cafeteria. He wanted to do his best to stay out of their way.
As Harry was making his way through the school, successfully avoiding the people who made his life hell, he ran into Nick again. It kind of seemed like Nick was all over the place now.
"Hey, Harry," Nick greeted, pulling him in for a hug. He tried his best not to cringe, but he knew it didn't work. When Nick pulled back, he had a frown. "You okay?"
Harry huffed. "I'm alright. Not the best day."
Nick made a face, keeping a lingering arm around his waist. The hallway was now clearing up, and it was just the two of them standing there.
"So I've heard," Nick commented.
Harry made a face and stumbled back a little. He was hoping he didn't hear Nick correctly.
"What?"
"In the passing, I heard what Stan and those wankers were talking about." Nick scratched the back of his neck. "They weren't quiet either."
Harry ... was about to fucking die. He couldn't believe he was hearing this correctly. If Nick heard them talking about the video, then who knew who else heard them as well. Probably soon enough, the whole school will have heard about Harry's video. Who knows, maybe his mother would find out too.
"Harry," Nick began, but Harry quickly shook him off.
"It was an old video," he interrupted, feeling his stomach churn, unsettling. "It was with Reid, and I guess he sent it off. He's an immature prick."
Harry was surprised with himself by how easy it was for him to think of that. Actually, that could be a good excuse for the video. Nick seemed to believe it too.
"Oh."
"Yeah, oh ," Harry mimicked.
"He would do that to you?"
Harry nodded, gulping, feeling slightly uncomfortable now. "He would. He's a bastard. He'll do anything to make my life hell - more than it already is."
"Hey," Nick said softly. He trailed his hands back up Harry's arm and rested it against his shoulder. He pulled him in closer and cupped his jaw with his other hand. "It'll blow over. The video should have been deleted the second it was sent - " Harry roll his eyes - " How about we can stop for ice cream after school, right before my training?"
Harry toyed with that idea. Getting ice cream sounded nice.
"I would like that," he agreed, smiling.
Nick brightened up in response, and with the gentle hold he had on Harry, he pulled him in for a quick kiss. As the two of them pulled apart, Harry glanced behind him and noticed someone now in the hallway with them. His stomach sank when he saw it was Louis.
"I'll see you later."
Harry's eyes focused back, and he offered a tight smile. "Yes. Right."
After Nick walked away, Louis stepped forward, a dissatisfied look on his face watching him go. Harry opted to not make a comment and decided to continue his walk towards the back exit. He was keen on stepping outside to get fresh air and spend the next hour on the bleachers. If Louis decided to follow, then so be it, but he wasn't going to wait.
"That was disturbing," Louis ended up commenting as he caught up to Harry's side. When the two reached the exit doors, Louis pushed it open first and let him go out. They walked over to the bleachers and headed up halfway to the row of benches.
"I feel like I haven't seen you since this morning," Harry said once they were seated, slowly pulling his sandwich out of his lunch bag. They usually see each other in the passing, but ever since they had the conversation in the bathroom, it was like Louis was avoiding him again. "Have you been hiding from me again?"
Louis smiled as he turned his legs towards Harry, getting in close. "I have not been hiding."
Harry gave him a look and then took a bite of his food.
"So, are you and Nick actually official then? You two kiss quite a lot."
"It's happened three times," Harry corrected. Louis grimaced, looking away. "And no, nothing is official. He is taking me out tonight. Ice cream after school and then probably dinner after he's done with some training course."
Louis crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. "What if I was going to ask to meet up after school?"
Harry would honestly say yes, hoping that he would actually say no.
"Well - do I choose to have sex or get ice cream?"
Louis lifted an eyebrow, hand coming down to Harry's thigh. "Are you really debating about getting ice cream with Grimshit to having sex with me?"
"I love ice cream," Harry shrugged.
"How about I buy you ice cream, and then we have sex?"
Harry actually laughed, and he playfully pushed Louis back when he tried leaning in closer. "You're ridiculous. I already have plans."
"I'm not gonna lie. I really don't like you with him."
Harry rolled his eyes, really trying to ignore how nice Louis' hand felt on top of his leg. "That much was obvious."
"It sucks seeing you two kiss."
"What is your problem with him? What did he even do to you?"
Louis nibbled the inside of his cheek and shifted forward on the bench, no longer angled towards Harry. "He's a creep and grossly clingy ... and I don't like you with him."
Harry frowned and set his sandwich down.
"He's not bad, Louis. Most important, he's not bad to me ."
Louis bit his lip, holding his gaze onto the football field and remaining silent. Gosh, silence was so overrated. Harry was tired of the silence. He was tired of Louis not saying anything. It was driving him crazy.
"Nick actually wants to date me, and kiss me, and show off that he actually likes me. Fuck, he offers so much to me, and I don't even have to ask for it. All you want to do is have sex and keep it a secret. I told you earlier, I don't want that, and I'm not going to continue this thing with you unless something changes. You don't have the right to say you don't like him with me."
By the middle of Harry's monologue, Louis dropped his head into his hands and closed his eyes. He was breathing slowly like he was trying to calculate his thoughts and his response accordingly. When Harry finished, he had scooted away, their bodies no longer touching. Another silence lingered before Louis removed his hands from his head and let out a deep breath. He turned towards Harry, eyes getting glossy again.
"Can't you just trust me, please? I told you that things are complicated, and I can't be that person right now. It might not seem like it, but I'm doing my best."
"I can't tell what you're doing then."
Louis huffed loudly. "I know. I'm just not ready for it."
"It could be only you - us . There could be no Nick or anyone else."
"I know." Louis deflated.
Harry blinked his eyes away and looked out at the field as well. "So, why were you hiding from me all day?"
"I tried to handle the team about the video."
Harry jerked his head towards him, brows raised. "Did you?"
"I think so," Louis admitted. "I think they realized the severity of having this video sent and talking about it. Either way, the situation was fucked up."
"I'm never filming something like that again. Nick heard the team talking, and he asked me about it."
Louis snorted. "What did you say?"
"I said it was an old video of Reid and me."
Louis visibly cringed. "That is ... disturbing."
Honestly, Harry had to agree with that.
The two of them then sat in the silence again, this time, a comfortable silence. Harry went back to eating his lunch, and Louis continued to stare out at the football field. Every so often, Louis would glance at him thoughtfully. It was like he wanted to say something, anything, and Harry was anticipating it each time their eyes locked together. It was driving him a little crazy, and he knew something was bothering Louis. Still, once again, he was holding himself back. It seemed like that was all Louis was doing these days - resisting.
"Louis," Harry finally said after a moment, his stomach twisting each time their eyes made contact. "I meant it when I said the sex is over between us. My relationship with Reid wasn't real, it was based on a lie, and all it was for him was sex. I don't want the same thing to happen between us, and I don't to feel the way that I did when I was with him. I can't have that again."
Louis' jaw tightened, and he rested his hands on top of his thighs, digging his fingers into the muscle. He was breathing slowly out his nose, and his eyes refused to look anywhere other than the pitch. He was resisting again like he always did.
"I know you're not out yet - "
"I'm not gay," Louis corrected.
Harry swallowed. "Okay, you're not, and I'm not trying to label you, but whatever you identify as, or whatever you're trying to figure out with yourself, I can't be in the middle of it. I can't be in the middle of the terrible influence your friends have on you. In the end, I'm the one who is going to get hurt. I'm not willing to put myself through that. I'm not your sex toy that you can use to get off. I deserve better than that."
Again, silence returned, a tense one, and Harry was about ready to let the anger take over. He didn't know what more he could say to get Louis to respond. He was putting everything out on the line for him.
"Fine," Harry grumbled, abruptly standing from the bench. He grabbed all his things and shouldered his bag. "Don't say anything. Stay quiet. If you're against being committed to one person, then you're going to be alone for the rest of your life."
Harry left shortly after that, not bothering to wait for Louis to respond and not waiting for him to catch up. He nearly sprinted out of there, trying his best to rush inside the building so he could avoid any further interactions. His skin was on fire, and his pulse was rabbiting. Harry had never been so angry and frustrated in his entire life. If it was an option, he would skip school the rest of the day. He just needed to get away and breathe. He needed a change in environment and a change in the people he constantly saw.
Lunch was nearing the end of the hour, so when Harry walked through the hallways, he noticed some students started to exit the cafeteria. More importantly, he saw Stan. He was walking alongside Taylor. The two of them were casually talking, and with all the anger that had been building since Louis, he needed to let out all the steam. Harry immediately walked up to Stan without a second thought, catching hold of the collar of his shirt and pushing them away from Taylor. He continued to walk them across the way until he collided Stan into the closest lockers.
"What the fuck is your problem?" Stan grunted. He tried to push Harry off, but he put all his body weight into pinning him.
"You talk a lot of shit about me being slag, but what made you watch the video in the first place?" Harry spat out. He didn't care that there was now an audience, students slowly circling around where he was putting on a show. "If you're so bothered about me being here at this school, then why don't the fuck you go away?"
"Styles," Stan warned, wiggling underneath his hold.
Harry's eyes harden, and he yanked him off the lockers. He then pushed Stan on the floor, and the students nearby all stepped back so that he didn't land on their feet.
"You're a fucking immature pervert. Rot in hell."
Harry left before any more damage could be done. He was so fucking over it.