It felt like forever before Vadik spoke.
We'd gone past the entrance to the woods and run deeper than I'd gone before. Wolves' howls shook the leaves of each tree branch, with dying rays of the sun peeking through.
When Vadik did say something, it was when his legs had given up and folded under him. He crashed to the ground, breathless, eyes closed.
I knelt beside him, too out of air to call out. Instead, my hand found his shoulder, where I squeezed. At first, he didn't move, but after a moment his weight shifted as he sat up.
A line of red ran down the back of his neck from his head. I reached toward it, but didn't touch.
"Your head..."
Those two words were all I could muster.
At the sight of me reaching toward him, Vadik backed away as fast as he could. His face twisted in a mixture of pain and fear. With his left hand, he brushed the back of his head, only for his fingertips to come away shining red.
"I got hit harder than I thought," he mumbled. He gazed at me with wild eyes.
It didn't take a genius to realize what he meant.
I stood with him. "I'm not dead, Vadik. That should be obvious by now."
He swallowed and kept going backward until he ran into a tree. "Unless you're a hallucination caused by me getting slammed into a wall."
I crossed my arms. "You grabbed me and gave me a hug a before that. I'm pretty solid."
"Zara," He let out a shaky breath. For the first time, it looked like he was genuinely frightened. "What I saw in there--right now I really need proof, okay?"
Leave it to Vadik to not believe me.
Then again, I couldn't blame him.
I bent down and plucked a small stone hidden in the grass. Without much thought, I flung it toward Vadik, where it hit his knees and bounced off.
While he stood trying to process what just happened, I walked to him and grabbed his arm. Without a fight, he let me pull him to the ground again.
I brushed some of his hair to the side. "While you're still going through your whole disbelief idea of the day, I'm going to look at your head, 'kay?"
A small nod was my reply.
Thankfully, the spot on his head wasn't as bad as I originally imaginied. Blood clumped up sections of his hair together, some of it dried and some of it not. The place he hit wasn't indented into his brain, but red and purple from where a bruise had already started to form. The cut itself wasn't deep, it long and wide enough to cause him problems before he got back to Edria.
I stared for a second, the made up my mind. "Vadik?"
He tensed. "Yes?"
Still, he believed me to be an illusion.
I bit my lip. "The spot's not bad, but I'm going to get water and a towel to try and clean this a little, okay?"
A nod was the answer.
I grabbed his hand. There as no doubt in my mind he thought I'd get up to get the items.
My heart pounded. If he started to run, the vespers would catch him before I did. If he panicked even more than he was, we'd both be dinner.
"Please don't freak out."
Vadik raised an eyebrow. "Why would I--"
"Kinisiv."
A bucket of water with a small, white towel draped over it appeared next to us.
My friend started to jump up. "Holy--"
I clapped a hand over his mouth. "Don't freak out! There are creatures here that will sense our panic and try to kill us."
His eyes widened to the size of plates.
I loosened my grip. "Promise you won't scream?"
"Mmhmm."
I let go and grabbed the towel next to the bucket. The water felt cool and clean against my hands--against the scratches and bruises of fighting and running.
As soon as the towel touched the back of Vadik's head, he visibly relaxed. With a sigh, he mumbled: "Next time you want to tell someone to calm down, saying there are monsters out there ready to kill isn't the best idea. Neither is randomly making objects appear."
I couldn't help but laugh. "I'll remember that for next time I have to run through the forest filled with magical monsters with someone."
A grin flickered across his face. "I'm happy you're alive."
"So am I."
His arm latched out and hit mine. "Come on, be serious for a second."
"You really did hit your head hard. I'm Zara, not Serious."
"Zara!"
In my crazy laughter, the water from the cloth dripped so much onto Vadik's head he looked as if he had just walked through a rainstorm.
He copied me, but his was more tight and maniacal. "It's good to see you again. Especially after... last time."
'Last time' when he turned me into Regol. 'Last time' when I was sent to kill Kvir.
"Let's forget about last time, okay?" My voice softened. "You have your duties and I had to obey."
He looked away. "It's still wrong. I lied, I betrayed your trust--"
"Vadik." I put the towel in the bucket. Red from it started to leak out and stain the otherwise-clean water a shade of pink. "It's okay. I trust you--and I will trust you until I am absolutely sure I can't anymore. You've kept my brother, and father, alive. Without me being here, they would be gone."
"But--"
My hands found his face, where the cupped around him. "You are--and will forever be--my friend. Nothing can change that."
The smallest flicker of a smile went across his lips. "Come back with me," he whispered. "Come back to Edria. Your brother misses you. I--" His voice was no more than a breath. "You have no idea how much I need a friend. Please."
I said nothing.
A howl came breaking through the trees. I tensed, but Vadik continued. "With your magic, you could stop my father."
I wanted to. I wanted to so much. To get out of the castle with crazy magic and monsters--it would be so easy. I was already free. All it took was for me to walk away.
But, if I walked away, it meant I'd have to kill the king.
I was done killing.
Vadik saw my decision before I even had to speak.
"Why?"
Suddenly, I was cold. It was a chill that went down to my bones, to my heart. "If I do what you want me to do to your father, yes, Joshua would be free, but the enemies I'd make would be enough to kill all of us."
"Zara, I'm next in line for the throne. You wouldn't have to worry about enemies."
"If you protect your father's killer, then my enemies would turn against you as well. Your father has supporters. If they find his own son has betrayed him, no matter how loyal to the crown they are, they will try and kill you."
"Then you would go back to the monster?"
For some reason, his sentence bothered me.
Maybe it was because we were all monsters.
My voice was a whisper--a breath. "I trust him."
"He tried to kill us!"
"And we tried to kill him. Vadik, I think he trusts me as much as I trust him. I'm not dead after shielding you. If I were to be killed, I'd be gone."
He was silent. The wind rustled through the trees.
I clasped his hand. "It goes both ways. I believe in you; it is your turn to believe in me."
He nodded. Nothing he did let on his enthusiasm for the plan, but he did not fight me.
"Here." I took a deep breath. With the same spell I used earlier, the book with spells appeared in my lap. Never had it been specifically mine, but nothing had stopped me from doing what I wanted with it. "This is yours now. It holds instructions Regol doesn't know of--instructions on magic. Use it. Stop him."
Vadik took it from me, gently. His thanks was a nod. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a sheathed dagger with a rose carved into the wood on the bottom. "For the people who are against you."
I took it with a smile. "Be careful."
He pulled me into an embrace. "You too, Zara. You too."
In that moment, I knew we would be safe on our walks home.
I didn't know what would follow.
*****
The castle was the same as when I left. Cold and still.
Dead.
I had pocketed Vadik's knife after I left the woods, but couldn't help but finger it to make sure it was there as I opened the door.
Nothing had changed. Burn marks and dust still covered the stone floor; Vadik's blood still stained the wall, Kvir's the stairs.
The worst part was seeing Kvir where I left him--frozen on the ground.
My throat tightened. "Kvir?"
He didn't move, but that was expected.
I stepped forward, partially terrified it wouldn't be the man under the monster, but the Beast in control. "It's Zara."
His eyes found mine. Dull, dead, red stared at me, full of everything. All the words in the world and he couldn't have told me what his eyes did.
I fell beside him, not sat, but fell. My hand brushed against his back and in an unspoken spell, he was free.
Words started to tumble from my mouth, but were stopped by a quiet question.
"Are you okay?"
The barriers began to fall. The walls around me started to crumble to dust, only to be pulled up by stubbornness.
My hands were the only part of me damaged, and it was my own doing.
"You didn't touch me."
"Good." Kvir started to sit up. The little bit of color in his face drained away in the efforts. "The other?"
"Vadik's fine. He'll be a little sore from hitting a wall, but he'll live."
He nodded. His arms shook as he tried to stand, only to fall again, breathless.
I swallowed. He was so busy asking about the people he may have hurt, I hadn't asked him.
"Kvir?"
"Magic," he gasped. "I used too much earlier. Just... give me a minute."
I sat back.
Surprise flashed across his face. "You're not going to leave?"
"No."
"Why?"
Maybe it was because I froze him and ran. Maybe it was because, somehow, I felt guilty about the fight.
Whatever it was, I would wait.
"Lizaveta--" Kvir's voice cracked. "I tried to kill you. Why wait for me? Why come back?"
There would be no telling him why I came back. I couldn't answer.
Kvir clutches his head and looked away. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry for this--for hurting you and Vadik. For dragging you into this mess of a world."
At the word 'mess' he slammed his fist into the ground. I flinched, but didn't move.
"Why don't you hate me?" He stared at me, eyes wide with fire. "You should. It's because of me you're here, because of me your constantly in danger, because of me you are stuck. You should despise me with your whole soul, yet you don't."
Again, I couldn't answer. I just sat, still and silent.
When he finished, his shoulders shook. His fists clenched and uncleched, his eyes flashed blinding red.
"I'm sorry."
Two small words. Careful.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and did what I'd only done to Vadik and my brother.
Kvir tensed as I scooted closer. His body froze when one arm wrapped around his neck and the other under his arm. I pulled him close, but still far enough away there was no awkwardness in the hug.
Saying it would do no good.
Sometimes, forgiveness doesn't need words.
_____________________________________
This is so totally off the top of my head.
Who cares. It's here. Yay for brand new chapters I swore I wouldn't post but did anyway as an update!
This is hereby dubbed: plot barf.