*El's Point of View*
It has been eight whole days since I have left the flat in London.
There has been text message after text message, call after call and email after email. I deleted my actual twitter account and made a new one under a different name. I couldn't stand the hate that I got from those stupid fangirls. I couldn't even open a magazine without a picture of Harry and I, in a broken heart. I got a new number; one becuase I was in America and I don't need a UK number and two because I want to move on and start over. Yeah, I kept my other phone too. But right now, I can't let myself look at it.
Today has been the third day I actually left my room and today I was going to push myself to go outside. I slowly walked to the bathroom down the hall, passing my sister's room where she was with Alec again. "What time is it?" I groaned. I couldn't believe that this kid was still here. All I wanted to do was kick him out.
"El, its two in the afternoon." Aly said, obviously irritated.
"Oh, so that's why you are here." I slurred still half asleep to Alec. Okay, so don't get me wrong, Alec was a cute kid. But the way he looked like reminded me of the boys. He had that messy sex hair like Louis. From what I heard, since my room is next to her's, is that he is always hungry. He is like a dad, coming in to check on me, make sure I am eating, never making a move on me. Making him like my best friend Liam. Oh Liam! I miss him so much. What I wouldn't do to talk to him again. Then from the awkward noises I hear too, I heard he has a big.. ya know.. Like Zayn. But then when you see his eyes, he green eyes that make you feel like you are laying in soft grass.
"El..." someone in the distance was yelling. "El, El, Elexandra!" I felt strong arms catch me. I was looking at the ground. "El, are you feeling okay?" Alec asked me worried.
"Yeah, I am just clumbsy. No big deal." I said before trying to walk to the bathroom. "Bye guys."
I lied to them. I wasn't feeling okay. I stepped on the scale like I do every morning. It read one hundred and 7 pounds. All I could think about how it was to much. To much weight on my body. My curves were to big. I opened the toilet seat and I stared at it. As much as I hate puke, I shakingly put my finger to the back of my mouth. The foul taste in my mouth helped me puke a couple times more. I got up flushing the toilet. I washed my hands, brushed my teeth and stepped on the scale again. This time it read one hundred and 4. "That's better." I told myself.
I decided to take a long shower, letting the hot water beat down on my skin. I sighed as I began to shave my legs. Looking at the razor reminded me of that night. Flashbacks of me crying into Liam's chest and drunk Harry screaming at me. These flash backs haunted me every night and day. This couldn't be good. I refused to go to a therapist. I stared and stared at the razor. Remember the feeling of it on my arms and hips. How it felt like pressure that was building could be released if I just.. drew.. blood. It felt nice, the pain of the fresh cuts wasn't there felt almost non existant.
I got out of the shower smiling. Nothing bothered me anymore. I felt free. I looked at my wet curly hair and decided to actually do it. I decided to scrunch it with a Snooki bump. I walked out in my robe and passed Aly's room again. They had disapeared to do whatever. Man, I was actually going to ask them if they wanted to hangout. I was left to my own agenda then. I reluctantly opened my still packed suitcases for my clothes. I dug around until I found a pair of high waisted black shorts, a white laced t-shirt and my black bandeau. I slowly took off my robe as I studied myself in the mirror. The scale must be wrong, "I look so fat." I quickly got dressed and decided to put on some make-up. I have looked dreadful the past few days and I know that my family would like the change of scenery. Then I grabbed my bag, my camera and my sketch pad and walked out of my room.
I walked into the kitchen to find my mom making some lunch. "Hi Mom." I whispered as I looked at the food. I was so hungry, but I could'nt eat it.
"Oh El, you look amazing. Would you like some lunch?"
"No, Im okay. I'm not really hungry." I lied.
"You sure, you didn't eat anything this morning?"
"Yes mom, I'm sure. I am just not hungry."
"Okay," she said looking at me with worry.
"Is it okay if I go to the park?" I asked.
"El, you do know you are 19 years old now, right?" She asked starting to laugh.
"Yeah, I just wanted to know if I could take the car?" I answered back. "I already got my licensed changed back and took the driving test again since in Europe they drive the totally opposite..."
"El, your are blabbing again. Just go have fun. Don't stay out to late." She gave me the keys to our little convertible and a big hug.
"I'll stop and get lunch if I get hungry." I shouted as I walked down stairs into the garage. I slipped my silver toms and opened the garage door. I sat my old covertable and I grabbed my sunglasses from my bag quickly and put them on. I started the car and turned on the radio. That's when What Makes You Beautiful came on and I started to breathe heavily as the lump in my throat tried coming up. I looked in the car mirror and looked at my aviators, totally forgetting that those used to be his. I can barley say his name without wanting to break down. I controlled my breathing, and smiled. "Well El, you can't let him get to you. You have your own life now." I said to myself as I turned the radio station and drove away with the wind in my hair.
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A/N!
Hey guys, El here. So what do you think so far? What do you think about Alec, Aly's boyfriend? I decided that Alex Pettyfer was a good match to his description. Its a younger photo, but he is still oh so sexyyy. I hope who ever is reading this story likes it. I am very shy about posting this story. I dunno why though. I feel like that you guys won't like it. I was never popular in anything. Again, any suggestions, I would love them. Please feel free to comment or vote. Thank you so much!