A/N!
Hey guys! this is my first story. and when I mean mine, I mean mine. I do not own anything except for the story. I dont own the people, the places or songs that are mentioned in this story. I hope you enjoy. this story is copy righted. so its mine.
Did I mention this is my first story? Well, on here it is. I have written a lot but here I thought I could express myself. I'm very friendly if you want to get to know me. So comment or vote. Tell me things I neeed to work on. I am all ears. Thank you loves.
-El.
This story is an extreme trigger warning book, it has thoughts of suicide, abuse, self harm, and much more. I do not advise anyone to read this story if they do not like this stuff.
As a suffer from a mental disease, if anyone every needs to talk, don't be afraid to stop by my inbox if you need to talk. I'll be here for each and every one of you guys, I promise. I know how much a person you can confide in truly helps. I promise we will get through this together. ***************************************************************************************************************
Harry,
Today I am leaving. Today is the day where we start the rest of our lives without each other. I know this is hard but I can't take it anymore. I know that taking separate paths will be better. You career has been kicking off and I don't want to be holding you back. This past year has been great, but I feel as you treat me as your friend/sister and not your girlfriend. Please don't come after me. It will be okay because, I know that there someone out there that will make you smile and laugh again. Have fun on tour and with the rest of your life, Haz. I'll miss you.
~El.
I folded the baby blue colored note and left on top of the kitchen table. I walked out of the door quietly, trying not to wake any of the boys up. I closed the door behind myself and didn't dare to turn back. 'This will bea good thing,' I told myself. But the pain was creeping up and I didn't know how long I can last without breaking down.
I decided to take the train to the airport, instead of having the driver take me. I need to end all the connections back at the flat. I looked at the promise ring Harry gave me for my birthday. A promise for what exactly? I asked myself as I took the silver band slowly off. I began to tear as the train became closer and closer to the city.
"Am I making the right decision?" I whispered to myself again. "Yes, El, you are." I answered as I looked around as people were staring at me. I probably looked crazy, crying and talking to myself. I put my the hood of my faded orange hoodie up and aviators.
Right on cue the paparazzi was outside my taxi door. Airport security came quickly and I made sure that my face was not seen. I quickly got through security check and was soon boarding the jet. Almost a 9 hour flight. I spent it crying quietly, well trying to, and sleeping. I really did feel bad for all of the other passengers.
When I arrived back in Philly my mom was there waiting for me. "Mom!" I yelled and ran into her arms. And there I just broke down.
"It's okay El. Everything will be fine. I promise." She says into my brown curly hair.
We walked out of the airport and right past the paparazzi. We drove away in our pathfinder and I fell asleep. I was jet lagged, physically, and emotionally tired. I arrived home in cozy Allentown around two hours later. I just looked at my sister Aly and her boyfriend Alec and kept on walking without saying a word. They just stared at me like I was a zombie. Well, I felt like one. I didn't even say hello to my father. I just walked into my old room and planning to never coming out. I know I don't need food because I have been starving myself to stay pretty and skinny because being on the bigger side runs into in my family, and when you are dating.. well not anymore but.. a famous person you have a reputation to keep up.