Jimmy + his hoes
Jimoan: I have a confession to make
Succjin: I knew it was you who ate my food you piece of shit
Hoebi: What a great way to revive this gc
Jimoan: wtf no
Jimoan: it was your youngest
Succjin: JEON JUNGKOOK
Jeoncock: YOU PROMISED NOT TO TELL
Jimoan: yeah yeah I'm an untrustworthy bitch. moving on
Jimoan: I just want you all to know that I love you guys so so much and I honestly don't know where I'd be without you
Jeoncock: probably somewhere better
Succjin: stfu my son is speaking
Jeoncock: umm I thought I was your son too??
Succjin: after eating the food I specifically told all you fuckers not to eat, consider yourself disowned
Jeoncock: whatever. I still have my other faithful and much cooler dad
Succjin: oKAY but can he cook like me?
Jeoncock: He may not be able to cook for his life, but at least he lets me eat dessert past 10
Succjin: Would you rather have more tummy aches or a dad who actually feeds you properly?
Jeoncock: oH SO NOW THAT NAMJOON HYUNG IS MY FAVORITE YOU SUDDENLY WANT TO ADOPT ME AGAIN?
Succjin: I'D RATHER RE-ADOPT YOU THAN LET NAMJOON TAKE MY SPOT AS FAVORITE
Moanie: Should I feel offended?
Hoebi: lol
Jeoncock: WELL YOU BETTER BE KISSING ASS CAUSE RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE SECOND PLACE
Succjin: I WILL KISS YOUR ASS SO HARD YOU'LL BE BEGGING ME TO STOP
Tongue Technology: I unmuted for this
Tongue Technology: I regret everything
Jimoan: ok we get it. we're a dysfunctional family; can I talk now?
Succjin: Please, go on. I can't stand dealing with Jungkook anymore
Jeoncock: What was that? I couldn't hear you over the sound of me not giving a shit
Succjin: You wanna go, punk?!
Jeoncock: send me your location
Jimmy: But it's Jimin time (๑◕︵◕๑)
Tongue Technology: Everyone, listen to Jimin
Jimoan: Thank you! I knew you'd be there to back me up, hyung ❤
Hoebi: oh? What do we have here?
Succjin: Is that a heart?
Moanie: Interesting
Jeoncock: Interesting, indeed
Tongue Technology: SO
Tongue Technology: what did you want to tell us?
Succjin: We see you, Yoongi. you ain't slick
Jimoan: ??
Tongue Technology: it's nothing, pls go on
Jimoan: okayyy well, I haven't been completely honest with you all bc the truth is
Hoebi: omg he's straight
Moanie: I'm sorry for your loss, Yoongi hyung
Tongue Technology: shut up Joon :)
Jimoan: uh no. I'm gayer than a dick-flavored, rainbow-colored lollipop
Jimoan: Maybe even gayer than that, but that's not the point. All you need to know is that I'm allergic to pussy
Hoebi: can't relate
Jeoncock: we get it, hyung. you have girls and guys up your ass 24/7
Hoebi: bisexual goals!
Jimoan: aww don't be jealous, our sweet little Jungkook. You'll get laid someday
Jimoan: maybe
Jimoan: you know what? don't @ me on that
Jeoncock: first of all, fuck you
Jimoan: imma stop you right there. My ass belongs to someone else, but I'm flattered
Jeoncock: ew
Jimoan: excuse you? anyone would be glad to own this fat ass
Jeoncock: again, ew
Tongue Technology: you'll understand the beauty of an ass like Jimin's one day, kid
Moanie: I'd love to keep talking about Jimin's ass (no, no I wouldn't), but I have class soon, and I'd rather we wrap this up now. The anticipation is killing me.
Succjin: ^
Jimoan: ok, soooo
Jimoan: I have another best friend
Hoebi: But I thought we were your only friends
Jimoan: RUDE
Succjin: wait, are you saying we're gonna have to fight for our spots as bff's now?
Jeoncock: i'd like to voluntarily drop out of that competition, please
Moanie: You may not. If I'm stuck with them, then you can bet your ass, I'm keeping you here with me
Jeoncock: *sigh* fine
Hoebi: i'm glad to know you love us so much
Tongue Technology: what's so special about your best friend that we don't have?
Moanie: This is what motivates me to stay
Jimoan: I mean, it's not like you guys aren't my besties, too,but this person is my literal soulmate, my other half, the sugar to my spicy ass, etc.
Succjin: omg that's so cute :')
Hoebi: Yoongi:
Jimoan: Aww hyung, why would you be crying?
Hoebi: Wouldn't you like to know
Tongue Technology: shut your horse looking headass face up before I ban you from ever seeing Holly again
Hoebi: you wouldn't
Tongue Technology: but I would
Jimoan: I don't really know what you guys are talking about, but I can promise you that this person is just a best friend. Nothing more, nothing less.
Hoebi: Yoongi, thanking the Lord:
Tongue Technology: i'd skin you alive, but where's the lie?
Succjin: ooh Yoongi's finally admitting his feelings
Jimoan: what feelings?
Moanie: You poor, poor boy
Jeoncock a moment of silence for Yoongi's suffering, caused by Jimin's stupidity
Jimoan: that's HYUNG to you, you fetus
Jimoan: no but seriously, am I missing something?
Tongue Technology: oh would you look at that, class is starting soon. gotta go. bye
Hoebi: #dicksoutforyoonminspining
Jeoncock #dicksoutforyoonminspining
Succjin: #dicksoutforyoonminspining
Moanie: #dicksoutforyoonminspining
Jimoan: guys, please tell me what's going on
Jimoan: and wtf is a yoonmin?
Jimoan: guys?
Jimoan: we all know none of ya'll (except Joonie hyung) actually give a shit about class
Jimoan: fine.
Jimoan: ONE OF YOU FUCKERS LEFT ME ON READ
~ ~ ~
Jeoncock: EVERYPONE SHUT THE FUCK UPA ND LISTEN
Jimoan: A simple "hello" would've been nice
Jeoncock: THERE'S NO TIME
Tongue Technology: Hi Jimin
Moanie: Bonjour
Succjin: Hola everyone
Hoebi: HOLA COMO ESTAS SHE SAID KONICHIWA
Jeoncock: no she said put a dick in it cause it's my time to talk rn
Hoebi: Jokes on you child cause I'd love to get dicked down and have a drink
Jimoan: "have a drink" iM
Succjin: I raised a bunch of hoes
Hoebi: We learned from the biggest hoe of them all
Succjin: We suddenly have one less chair at our dining table
Jeoncock: Put that chair back where it was cause your youngest hoe just found the perfect ass to fill that chair
Jimoan: How can a virgin like you be a part of our hoe life??
Jeoncock: Can you like not attack me right now? thanks
Jeoncock: i'd rather we talk about that literal Adonis i just saw
Succjin: Pics or it didn't happen
Jeoncock:
Jimoan: Oh my god
Hoebi:
Jeoncock: Back off, I saw him first
Jeoncock:
Jeoncock: oH SHIT HE CAUGHT ME
Jeoncock: YA BOI'S GOTTA BLAST
Jimoan: Idk whether to laugh at you or enlighten you
Jeoncock: I WOULD FIRE SOMETHING ABCK AT YOU BUIT M BUSY RUNNING BEFORE I GET EBEN MORE EMBARRASSED
Jimoan: This is going to be fun
~ ~ ~
soulmates 4 life
My One: Minnie, the campus is so big. I think I'm lost :(
My Only: aww my poor tae bby
My Only: where are you? I'll come get you
My One: i'm by this cafe that's near a huge water fountain
My Only: alright i'm omw
My One: oh my god I forgot to tell you
My One: I just caught the cutest boy ever taking a pic of me, but he ran away before I could talk to him
My Only: did you, now?
My One: yeah, and he was so damn fine jfc
My Only: maybe I know him
My One: hopefully cause I'd love to meet him
My One: but oh whale, what are the odds?
My Only: you'd be very surprised