i feel so stupid
i have never once held a hand
i don't know what butterflies are
but i do know that they only live for a day
i have never seen an admiring glance
but i am an expert on disgusted stares
hugs are not in my field
but fake smiles are my experty
i know i will never smile when i feel him next to me
because my side will always be empty
my lips will always stay a virgin
they won't get touched by lustful kisses or even hesitated fingertips
i will waste myself away
sitting by my bedroom window
watching love trick people
but wishing to be tricked all my goddamn life
i know love is just an illusion
but i love magic