I know it's been forever and for those of you wondering, I'm not dead.
:)
Chapter 7
Nell’s POV
“Don’t be mad at me,” Craig said, sinking into his chair and twisting so that he was facing me.
I quirked a brow, my eyes darting to the stack of books he’d carelessly plopped onto the desk. My fingers itched to straighten them, to make sure all the spines were facing the same direction and all the edges were lined up. “Why would I be mad at you?” I asked, distracted.
“I told my dad you were looking for a job.”
My gaze shot to his, my eyes going wide as his words sank in. “Why?”
“He’s partner at his law firm. I figured he might be able to find something for you.” Craig scanned my face, looking for clues to determine what I was thinking. “It would look good on your college application?” he said, uncertain.
I frowned. “He doesn’t even know me. I’ve never even met him.” I shook my head. “Why would he want to hire me?”
“It’s not guaranteed, Nell. You’d still have to give him your resume and go for an interview. I just mentioned that you were looking for work and he said to send you to him. He wants to meet you.”
I blinked, narrowing my eyes at him. “He does? How does he even know who I am?”
He shrugged, looking down at the scarred desk in front of him, his long, athletic fingers reaching out to flip through his chemistry textbook aimlessly. “Your name’s come up in conversation a few times.”
“You talk about me with your parents?” I mumbled, shocked.
His gaze locked on mine, something like determination filtering into his features. “We’re friends,” he said, his lips tilting into a warm smile as he gave his shoulders a slight shrug. Clearing his throat, he continued. “Is it so weird that I mention you from time to time?” His lips tilted a little further. “Are you saying you never talk about me with your folks?”
My spine straightened and something cold slithered through my veins. “They’re not much for idle chit-chat.” Understatement. They could barely stand it when I talked about myself, never mind bringing another person into the conversation.
In fact, I think they might even prefer it when I didn’t talk at all.
Facing forward, I took my pens from their case and lined them up at the top of my desk, barely stopping myself from getting out a ruler to make sure they were all the same distance apart.
“Nell,” Craig said, his voice quiet, gentle as he reached out and placed his hand on top of mine, staying my movements. When I looked over at him, that determination was back in his eyes and when he swallowed hard, I frowned. Was he nervous about something? “The truth is―”
“Hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Grayson said, pulling a stool up to the shared desk where Craig and I were sitting. He sank onto the stool, eyeing Craig’s hand still resting on top of mine.
I pulled my hand away, breaking the contact.
“What do you want, West?” Craig snapped, his tone bordering on hostile.
“I had a question about the homework. I was hoping Cupcake could enlighten me.”
“What is it?” I asked, not even bothering to remind him not to call me that.
“Number four,” he said, opening his notebook and shifting the stool so that he was closer to me, our bent heads nearly touching.
I frowned down at his work, seeing that he’d gotten all the other questions with no issues. “This question is really similar to number three and you got that one. Which part has you stumped?”
“All of it,” he said vaguely, resting his hand next to my pens, shifting them one by one until they sat at an angle.
My teeth gritted and I barely resisted the urge to straighten them. “Okay, I’ll walk you through it.”
One of Craig’s friends had shown up and started talking to him but I could feel his gaze on me every once in a while, his disapproval obvious.
Once I was finished the question, I looked up to find Grayson already looking at me. “Get it?” I asked, wondering if he’d even been paying attention.
“Yeah,” he said, one corner of his lips tilted up in a crooked grin. “So, I was thinking about that paper you wrote and the more I think about it, the more it pisses me off.”
I shrugged, inwardly wincing at the reminder of my failing grade. “I’ll do some extra credit.”
“You shouldn’t have to,” he said, his grin fading, his dark eyes getting a little darker.
“I don’t have much of a choice.”
“Want me to beat him up?”
My lips twitched but I shook my head. “No, thanks.”
“You sure?”
I felt a smile slip onto my lips, pretending to consider it for a moment before giving a resigned sigh. “I’m positive.”
He blinked a couple times, his gaze going a little unfocused for a second, like he was distracted by something. “Nell―”
“Mr. West, is there any chance you’ll be taking your own seat sometime today?” Mr. Wright snapped, arms crossed as he glared at the back of Grayson’s head.
“Only if you say please,” Grayson replied, turning slightly so he could shoot Mr. Wright a mocking grin.
“Get to your seat or you’ll be in detention all next week.”
Grayson sighed and stood, grabbing his notebook from my desk as he gave a salute to the teacher. Leaning close to my ear, he whispered, “Thanks, Cupcake,” before heading towards his own desk, propping his feet up and leaning back in his chair as soon as Mr. Wright began the lecture.
“What was that about?” Craig whispered, leaning in close. “Since when are you friends with Grayson West?”
I blinked, my eyes falling on the pens that were still sitting at an angle. “He’s been...decent to me,” I said, reaching out to straighten my pens. “I’m returning the favour.”
From the corner of my eye, I saw Craig’s hand clench into a fist before it relaxed again. “Just be careful. He’s not the type of person you can trust, Nell.”
I nodded, focusing on Mr. Wright, intent on listening to what he was telling us about the experiment we’d be doing that day.
But my attention was divided. Craig’s words kept whispering in my head. He’s not the type of person you can trust, Nell.
The odd thing was...I did trust him. Why else would I get on his bike with him? Why else would I have reached for him when I was having a panic attack?
Despite Grayson’s reputation, somewhere deep down inside of me, beneath all of the insecurities and fears, some gut feeling was telling me to trust him.
When Mr. Wright finished with the instructions, Craig and I did the experiment, the two of us used to working together. Because I was a control freak, I did all the measuring, making sure everything was exact. Craig poured the concoctions and jotted down the data.
“There’s a game right after school, do you mind if I leave early?” Craig said, just as we were finishing the experiment.
I shook my head, giving him a reassuring smile, a part of me glad that he’d be leaving me alone for the clean-up. I preferred doing it myself, anyway.
“Thanks, Nell,” he said, shooting me a grin as he took off his apron and goggles.
He collected his books and turned to leave but stopped suddenly, turning back towards me, his blue eyes unreadable. “Nell, I...” he trailed off, his forehead wrinkling as he seemed to search for the right words but with a wave of his hand, decided to let it go. “Never mind. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I frowned, staring after him as he left, wondering what the heck was going on with him.
Shaking my head, I stood, washing the beakers thoroughly before drying them. I brought the beakers to their shelf and placed them inside, adjusting the rest of them so that the spouts were all at one o’clock. Satisfied, I closed the door and stepped back, directly into a hard object.
I jumped and spun, my eyes narrowing when they landed on Grayson. “What’s your problem?” I snapped, stepping around him to get back to my desk.
“I’m not the one running into people, Cupcake,” he said, resting a hip against Craig’s half of the table.
“You snuck up on me,” I grumbled, gathering my books, belatedly noticing that the rest of the class had already left for the day.
“You were too absorbed in perfectly aligning all the beakers to notice that I was there.” He planted a hand on his chest and gave me a mockingly sorrowful look. “It hurts me to think that you care more about those beakers than you do about me, Cupcake.”
“I can’t help it if they’re more interesting,” I blurted, my eyes going wide as soon as the words left my mouth.
He stared at me for a long beat before tilting his head back and giving a deep chuckle.
Oh.
Everything inside of me went still as I watched his lips stretch, watched his throat work. Had people called him dangerous? Because right now, with that deep laugh echoing in my ears, I just couldn’t see it.
In fact, at this moment, Grayson West was undeniably...
Attractive.
I sucked in a quick breath of air, giving myself a mental shake as I took a step away from him.
No. No way. I did not just think that. I hadn’t slept well the night before and my mind was playing tricks on me. There was no way I found Grayson West attractive.
No way.
I packed up the rest of my books quickly, grabbing my bag and heading towards the door.
“Wait,” he said, his hand wrapping around my wrist, halting me in my tracks.
“What?” I asked, my voice cold, distant.
He didn’t let me go as he shifted, moving until he was in front of me, looking down at me with furrowed brows and something like concern in his dark gaze. “I wanted to ask you, are you okay? Yesterday with the whole...panic attack thing, I just wanted to make sure that you were,” he waved his free hand in the air, searching for the words, “better, I guess.”
“I’m fine,” I ground out, biting my lip as I looked down at where his hand was wrapped around my wrist, willing him to let me go. It was bad enough that he’d witnessed me freaking out, was it too much to ask that he forget it ever happened?
“Good,” he said, his voice a little lower as he slowly let me go before lifting his hand to run it through his hair.
I followed the movement, noticing for the first time, a tension around his shoulders that wasn’t usually there. And were those bags under his eyes?
“I’d better get going,” he said, giving me a nod before turning his back on me and walking out of the classroom.
Without thinking, I followed him, my hand reaching out of its own accord until my fingers were wrapped around his wrist. When he turned to face me, I swallowed hard, calling myself stupid in a thousand different ways, wondering why I was holding him back even as I refused to let him go. “Is something wrong?” I blurted, thinking back to the day before when we were playing chess when that guy came up to us. “You look kind of...” I trailed off, shaking my head, not entirely sure where I was going with this. “Are you okay?”
Slowly, he turned towards me, his eyes focused on my fingers wrapped around his wrist. We were standing just outside of the chemistry classroom now and a few students were lingering in the hallway. A part of me knew I shouldn’t be doing this, I shouldn’t be stopping him, I shouldn’t be touching him.
I didn’t let him go.
“I’m fine,” he said, his voice a little lower than usual, gruffer.
I frowned, wishing he’d look at me. “Are you sure?”
A grin tipped the corners of his mouth and his gaze finally connected with mine. “You worried about me, Cupcake?” He took a step closer to me and I blinked, loosening my hold on his wrist.
“No,” I blurted, retreating a step but I barely moved before my back connected with a locker.
He tilted a brow, his dark eyes sparking with teasing light as he came even closer to me, resting a hand on the locker behind me, caging me in. “You sure about that?”
“Positive,” I said with a firm nod.
His lips tipped up in the corners but there was no humour in his eyes when he spoke. “It does sound weird, doesn’t it? Nell Watson worried about Grayson West. Who would believe that?”
I frowned. Was it so far fetched? Was it so impossible to believe that I could worry about something other than my grades? I wasn’t a robot. He looked distracted and tired so I’d asked him what was wrong. Why should that seem so foreign to him?
Maybe because you’ve told him you can’t be seen in public with him.
I swallowed, the thought ringing clearly in my head. For someone I couldn’t be seen socializing with, he sure was standing close to me.
Very close.
A shadow flickered across his eyes but in a blink it was gone, replaced by a bland look and a careless grin. “Since we’ve established that you’re not worried for my well-being, I’m going to leave.” He quirked a brow. “Unless you wanted to go for a ride somewhere?”
I blinked, shaking my head slowly, tamping down my sudden urge to go with him, to get on the back of his bike and forget everything else for a while.
“Didn’t think so,” he said with a firm nod and I felt something tug at the back of my head before he stepped away from me. He grinned when my hair fell around my shoulders, loosened from its usual low bun by his nimble fingers. “I’ll see you around, Cupcake,” he said before turning on his heel and walking away from me.
My fingers itched to fix my hair but something was holding me still, some force was keeping me exactly where I was, staring at Grayson’s back as he walked away from me, his shoulders still tense, his spine still stiff no matter how carefree he acted.
I shook my head when I realized I’d unconsciously taken a couple steps in his direction.
What was the plan, Nell? Catch up to him and...pat him on the back?
Right, it was perfectly obvious how absurd he found the idea of me being worried about him. What would he say if he knew I had the insane urge to figure out what was wrong and find a way to fix it?
I gritted my teeth to hold in a derisive snort at the thought, my feet carrying me back into the classroom to see if I forgot anything.
Frowning, I pushed my stool a little further under the desk, making sure it was right in the middle and that the legs were positioned so that two were under and two out.
A wry smile twisted my lips as I brushed my hand over the seat, satisfied with the result even as a bone deep sense of sadness washed over me.
I couldn’t fix Grayson’s problems if I tried. I was a second away from busting out a ruler to make sure I’d positioned the stool just right. The idea that I could help Grayson in any way was laughable.
Yesterday the lines had gotten a little blurred but nothing had changed. I was still Nell Watson and he was still Grayson West.
Reaching up, I tucked my hair back into its familiar bun before leaving the chemistry room.
I’d been tossing and turning for a couple of hours when the phone rang. I picked it up, seeing Paige’s name on the screen before I hastily answered. “Paige? What’s wrong?”
“Can you come pick me up?” she asked, her voice small, afraid.
“Where are you?” I breathed, lurching off my bed to find some clothes.
She rattled off an address, her voice shaking slightly. My gut clenched in fear for her.
“Is Brian with you?”
“I don’t know where he went,” she whispered.
“I’ll be there soon,” I said, hanging up so I could get dressed more quickly.
In seconds, I was out of the house and in my car, driving like a maniac to get to her. My heart was racing and panic was eating at me. The address she gave me was not familiar and the closer I got, it became more obvious why.
This wasn’t the bad part of town. This wasn’t even close to the bad part of town. This was the part of town that people who lived in the bad part of town wouldn’t even step foot in. My heart tripped in my chest thinking that Paige was here somewhere, alone.
I didn’t need the address to find the party. The house was overloaded with people, men and women spilling onto the lawn, not caring that it was past midnight and they were making enough noise to wake up the entire city.
The house was big enough but looked like it could fall over with one stiff gust of wind. The siding was decaying, the paint a mere memory and the windows were dirty, caked with what looked like decades of dust.
I parked the car across the street, my chest tight as I opened my door and stepped out.
What the hell was she thinking?
This wasn’t her kind of party. I didn’t care how different she was now, Paige did not belong here.
I searched the crowd on the lawn as I walked towards the house but she was nowhere. A few people gave me curious looks but I moved quickly enough that no one really paid me any close attention. The smell of drugs and alcohol, sweat and sex reached me before I even got to the front door. It was open so I walked right in, a fine sheen of perspiration dotting my skin as I eyed the crush of people inside.
I needed to breathe but the air was so choked with smoke that the idea seemed unlikely. My eyes shifted over the crowd, wincing when I saw the coffee table covered with lines of white powder, glad that my sister wasn’t one of the women bent over, inhaling through their noses.
These weren’t high school kids. Most of these people looked to be in their mid twenties or older and none of them looked nearly as out of place as I felt.
I was about to take a step in when a fight broke out right in front of me. Two big, burly guys suddenly lunged at each other, fists swinging madly. Someone in front of me was shoved into me and I stumbled slightly, my back landing against another person with a soft thud. The person behind me wrapped his arms around my waist, steadying me while we moved further away from the fight.
I breathed a sigh of relief when it ended, people stepping in to pull the two guys apart. I turned towards the guy I’d run into and my voice caught in my throat at the sight of him. He wasn’t much taller than me but he seemed to be made entirely of muscle. He was wearing a tight white t-shirt that displayed his arms which were liberally covered in tattoos, some looking more professionally done than others. His face was hard, unyielding and there was a long jagged scar along one of his cheeks.
He gave me a slow smile, licking his lips as he looked me up and down. “Where did you come from, Angel?”
“I’m looking for my sister,” I croaked, not liking the way his brown eyes darkened when they rested on my chest.
“If she looks like you, she ain’t here. I would’ve definitely noticed her.” He took a step closer to me and I fought not to retreat, thinking it would be a bad idea to show this guy how scared I was at the moment.
“I’m just going to call her,” I mumbled, pulling out my phone and dialling Paige’s number with shaking fingers. I turned slightly away from the guy as it rang, desperate for her to answer.
It rang six times before she finally picked up. “Hello,” she said, laughter in her voice and in the background.
“Paige? I’m here. Where are you?”
Her giggle was high pitched and filled with glee. “She’s actually there,” she said, her voice a little muffled, like she’d covered the microphone but hadn’t quite covered it all the way. “Oh Nell,” she said, her voice clear again. “You actually thought I’d call you?”
I blinked a few times, a weight settling on my chest as her question registered. “You’re not here, are you?”
“Nope,” she said, giggling again for good measure. “Brian and I stopped in earlier but realized it was a bit too heavy for us.”
Betrayal hit me like a semi, making my knees shake with the force of it. “I have to go,” I said, a chill settling into my limbs, working its way to my torso before reaching my heart.
“Oh come on, Nell. You have to admit it’s funny! I’m picturing you in that house with all those druggies and dealers. Get someone to take a pic okay? I totally want to frame―”
I hung up before she could finish, the ice in my veins somehow making the smoke in the room seem a little less oppressive.
A hand on my wrist stopped me when I turned towards the door, intent on getting out of there now.
“Where you going, Angel? I can help you find your sister.”
I turned towards the man I’d bumped into, trying to work some kind of smile onto my lips and failing. “She’s not here. I’m sorry I ran into you.”
He grinned at me, tugging me a little closer. “I’m not. If you don’t have to find your sister then you can stay with me, can’t you? Let me get you a drink, Angel.”
“No, thanks,” I said, trying not to let the fear show in my voice as I pulled lightly on my hand, needing him to let go of my wrist. My breathing was speeding up, my heart tripping in my chest and I still couldn’t free myself of his hold. “Please let me go,” I whispered. I don’t think he heard me but he shook his head anyway, still grinning at me in a feral way.
The muscles in his arm bunched and I’m pretty sure he was about to tug me closer to him again when suddenly, someone else was gripping his wrist.
Jumping slightly, I turned to see Grayson standing next to me, his dark eyes on the guy still holding me. “Let her go, Vin.”
Vin chuckled, tightening his grip on my wrist until it was painful. “I don’t see your name on her, Gray.”
“I’m not asking again,” Grayson said, his eyes black, his face completely calm as he stared the other man down until something like fear flickered in Vin’s eyes.
“Yeah,” Vin said, unwrapping his fingers from my wrist, not taking his eyes off Grayson. “Okay.” Finally, he looked at me and winked. “See you around, Angel.”
“Grayson, what―”
“Shut up,” he growled, taking my wrist in his hand in order to drag me out of the house and across the street. “What the fuck were you doing in there, Nell? Why the hell would you even be here?”
“Paige called me and―”
“So you came running in on your white knight?” he shouted, getting right in my face. “What the fuck were you thinking? Did you even glance at the house before you walked in there?”
“Stop yelling at me,” I snapped, tugging on my wrist, trying to break his hold but he wouldn’t let go. “She sounded freaked and yeah, I looked at the house but all I could think was that she was in there alone and I...” I trailed off, waving a hand in the direction of the party. “I didn’t want to go in but I didn’t exactly have a choice.”
“You had a goddamn choice, Nell. You could’ve chosen to let your idiot sister deal with her own fucking problems for once!” he snarled, finally breaking his hold on my wrist so he could run a hand through his hair and pace in front of my car.
“I couldn’t just leave her!” I said, my voice going a little shrill as I pushed away from my car and stepped into his path. “I’m not wired like that, okay? She sounded scared and desperate and yeah, maybe it was dumb, but I tried to help her.”
He snorted, taking a step closer to me until we were nearly nose to nose. “You can’t help her, Nell. If your sister is coming to a party like this one, she doesn’t need a ride home, she needs an intervention.”
My indignation faded and my gaze slid to the side. “Yeah well, the good news is she wasn’t there.”
His forehead wrinkled and his jaw clenched, setting off a muscle in his cheek. “What?”
I sighed, taking a step back and running a hand through my hair, realizing belatedly that I hadn’t tied it back earlier. “It was a prank. She was messing with me and I was dumb enough to believe her.” I winced at my own stupidity, hating that she could get to me so easily. When was the last time Paige had called me herself? It was always Craig or someone else at the party but never Paige. I closed my eyes and shook my head. “I’m an idiot.”
“Please tell me you’re joking,” he said and my eyes snapped open at the tone of his voice. He was speaking slowly, like he was having trouble getting the words out but each word was laced with so much underlying rage that I felt it slip across my skin.
I frowned, a part of me wondering why I wasn’t running in the other direction right now. He sounded like he was ready to lose his shit and being that I was the closest person to him, things weren’t looking too bright for me.
Then again, I couldn’t seem to muster the required fear when it came to Grayson West. Logically, I knew he was considered dangerous. I’d seen him beat someone up in the past and Vin with all his muscles had backed off when Grayson showed up.
Still...I wasn’t scared of him.
Which was good because his tag was sticking out of his shirt and I needed to tell him to fix it before it drove me insane.
“Gray!”
We both blinked at each other before turning to look at the new guy joining us. I realized immediately that this must be Grayson’s brother. They looked alike, with similar dark hair and eyes but his brother was a bit shorter and stockier. He also had tattoos almost entirely covering both his arms. I briefly wondered if Grayson had any tattoos that weren’t revealed by the black t-shirt and jeans he was wearing.
“Is this your girl?” he said, looking me up and down as he came closer to us. “Not your usual type, is she?” he chuckled before sticking his hand out for me to shake. “I’m Pierce.”
“Fuck off,” Grayson said, smacking his brother’s hand down before I even moved to grip it.
Pierce just laughed, stuffing his hands into his pockets before eyeing me again, this time with more interest in his dark eyes. “Touchy, isn’t he?”
Unease slithered in my veins as Pierce continued to stare at me and I barely stopped myself from shifting closer to Grayson.
“Go back inside,” Grayson snarled.
Pierce’s smile vanished and his lip curled as he stared at his younger brother. “This is my getting out of jail party, Gray. I’ve been taking orders every single day for the past year. Don’t think I’ll be taking any from you.”
“Then maybe I can help you along,” Grayson replied, his tone filled with menace as he stepped closer to Pierce.
“Jeez,” Pierce said, holding his hands up in surrender as he took a step back. “Forget it. You used to be fun, man. We used to be a team. Or did you forget about that? Too busy walking the straight and narrow to remember your own brother.” He shook his head before his eyes slid back to me. “You can come back inside with me if you want, sweetheart. I’ll protect you.”
Grayson made a noise that sounded like a growl.
“I’ll pass,” I said, almost surprised when my voice came out steady.
Pierce shrugged and turned his back to us, walking towards the house. “The offer stands,” he said over his shoulder, raising his hand in a wave. “See you soon, Brother.”
Once his brother was inside, Grayson let out a groan and moved towards my car, resting his back against the passenger side door before cradling his face in his hands. Slowly, I moved towards him, keeping a couple feet between us as I leaned my weight onto the vehicle too.
“You should’ve never come here, Nell,” he said, his voice muffled.
“I couldn’t just leave her.” My voice was soft, just above a whisper and filled with the heartache I couldn’t help feeling. “She called me. She never calls me, Grayson.” I shook my head and gave a mirthless laugh. “I should’ve known, huh?”
He let his hand fall from his face before turning towards me. “Give me your phone,” he said abruptly.
I blinked but did as he asked, thinking he had to make a phone call. He pressed a few buttons before handing it back to me.
“Next time someone tells you to go pick her up, call me. I’ll go with you.”
I stiffened, frowning down at the phone in my hand. “I don’t need your help, Grayson. She’s my sister. I can handle her.”
“Maybe, but if she sends you blindly into a place like this again, I want to know. Just promise me you’ll call.” I looked up and our eyes locked, his dark and filled with determination.
I was going to say no. I had every intention of saying no, of deleting his number from my phone and forgetting he ever asked.
But there was something in the way he was looking at me, something that had me pausing to consider his offer. If he hadn’t been there tonight, I might still be trying to extract myself from Vin. More likely, I would be in there having a panic attack while a bunch of stoners watched.
“Okay,” I conceded. “I’ll call.”
He gave a satisfied nod before shifting his gaze to the house, the party still raging hard enough for the ground beneath my feet to be vibrating.
His lips tightened and his forehead wrinkled as he looked at the building. His eyes were twin pools of obsidian and his features were set in stone. The muscles in his forearms jumped from how hard he was clenching his fists and I was pretty sure I could hear his teeth grinding.
“Is this why you were tense today? You were worried about this party?”
His gaze shot to mine and his frown deepened but he didn’t respond.
“Why’d you come if you hate it so much?” I prodded, embracing the fact that I had no filter around him.
“I don’t know,” he finally said, his voice hoarse. “I guess I felt like I had to.”
I nodded, understanding what it meant to feel obligated to your family, regardless of whether or not you wanted to be.
We were quiet for a second and I unconsciously moved a little closer to him, feeling the chill of the night air on my exposed skin. I’d only managed to throw a t-shirt on before leaving the house.
“Nell?” Grayson rasped, his face suddenly a lot closer to mine. “What are you doing?”
I blinked, my body freezing in place just as my fingers gripped the tag at the back of his shirt. I had to stand on tiptoe to reach it and without realizing it, I’d shifted so close to him that our chests were nearly touching and my free hand was resting on his shoulder to keep my balance. “Your um, tag was sticking out,” I explained lamely, hastily tucking it into the back of his shirt, my fingers brushing lightly against his skin before I pulled away.
Before I could retreat fully, one of his hands shot out and gripped my wrist, his hold gentle as he stared at me. There was a loud boom from the house across the street, making me flinch and Grayson’s face hardened into sharp angles once more.
“Promise me you’ll never come back here. Whether Paige is here or not.”
I bit my lip. “I promise to call you first.”
He shook his head, his lips twitching as amusement finally pierced the darkness in his eyes. “Stubborn.”
I shrugged. “Yeah.”
“You should get going,” he said after a long moment, slowly releasing his hold on my wrist.
I nodded, turning to pull open the car door. I paused before climbing in, something keeping me from leaving him just yet.
“Grayson?” I said, facing him once more. His eyes were on me but his attention was elsewhere. Every muscle in his body was still tense and his face was a play of angles and shadows. Did he plan on going back inside?
“What is it, Cupcake?” he asked after I was silent for a long moment.
Just let it go, Nell. He’ll be fine.
“Do you need a ride somewhere?” I asked, totally not letting it go.
His lips tilted into a crooked grin and he took a step closer to me. “Worried about me again, Cupcake?” I narrowed my eyes and shook my head. “No? You sure?” I opened my mouth to reply but suddenly, he closed the distance between us, planting one hand on the open door of my car and the other on the roof, his big body surrounding me and making whatever I was going to say lodge in my throat. “You do realize that I can take care of myself, don’t you, Nell?”
“Of course,” I said, hoping I sounded more indignant than breathless. “I was offering you a ride, Grayson. That’s all.”
“That’s sweet,” he said, his voice low, his eyes locked on mine. “Does this mean we’re friends now, Cupcake?”
My lips parted but I didn’t know what to say to that. Were we friends? Was Grayson West my...friend? It seemed impossible. He’d been nice to me a few times and I didn’t doubt that if I ever was in a similar situation as the one I was in tonight, he’d help me out but...
Why would he want to be friends with someone like me?
He rode around on a motorcycle, flipping the bird to anyone who gave him shit. He laughed in people’s faces when they disapproved of him.
And I...
I had panic attacks and a cupboard full of pills and a laundry list of supposed neuroses that were casually jotted down on my permanent file like a curse.
Yet, despite everything, I felt comfortable around him, like I could say whatever came to mind without worrying that he’d judge me on it. I’d already stuck my foot in my mouth more times than I’d like to admit around him and he was still there.
Did that make us friends?
I sucked in a breath to reply but suddenly he was gone, his arms no longer caging me in, his expression cold as he looked somewhere over my right shoulder.
“I guess that answers that,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest and shooting me a mirthless grin. “I’ll see you around, Nell.”
I frowned as he turned his back on me, walking towards a line of parked cars, stopping beside his motorcycle and swinging his leg over it. I watched as he started the bike and took off down the street, the usually deafening sound of the vehicle barely even registering compared to the party going on a few feet away.
I got in my car and looked over at the house for a second, breathing a sigh of relief that Grayson hadn’t gone back in there. Maybe he looked the part, especially when his eyes went molten and his features turned to granite, but I couldn’t shake that feeling that Grayson didn’t belong in a place like that.
When I pulled into the driveway fifteen minutes later, Brian’s car was parked where mine usually went. I stopped on the road, pulling as close to the curb as I could get before cutting the ignition.
Gritting my teeth, I got out of the vehicle and walked towards the house only, when I reached for the doorknob, it twisted before I could grip it and the door swung open from the inside.
“Nell, baby,” Brian said, flashing his teeth as he took a step outside and closed the door behind him. “You just getting home? Did you have fun at the party?” he asked, chuckling at my expense.
“Get out of my way,” I muttered, inwardly cursing when my voice came out weak.
“No,” he said simply, shifting to block my path as I tried to push around him. “Can’t we talk, Nell? It’s been ages since we’ve talked.”
We used to talk, Brian and I, when he was still the captain of the football team, before his knee injury. He was nice to me though I suspected it was more to do with the fact that he was dating my sister and Paige and I were a lot closer then. “Not tonight,” I said, gritting my teeth when my chest tightened and the beginnings of panic sank into my skin. There was something in his eyes that made me think I didn’t want to be alone with him right now.
“Why not?” Brian asked, reaching out and gripping my bicep hard enough to leave a mark. “We used to get along, didn’t we, Nell?” he whispered, bringing his free hand to my face, dragging his fingertips along my cheek and down my throat until they came to rest at my collarbone. He tipped his head to the side and I caught a whiff of whiskey on his breath. This close, I could see the white powder clinging to his skin around his nose. He was drunk and high and I seriously needed to make him let go of me. “I guess that was before you lost your mind, wasn’t it, Nellie?”
I winced, the tightness in my chest making it hard to breathe. Relax, Nell. You’re fine.
“Let me go, Brian,” I wheezed.
His grip on my arm tightened and I bit my lip to keep from crying out. “You think you’re better than me?” he snarled, his smile vanishing as he pressed his hand to my chest and pushed me against the brick wall hard enough to knock the wind out of me.
I gasped, fighting for oxygen, my fear working against me as my vision went a little hazy for a second. Finally, I managed to suck in some air and when my eyes cleared, Brian was looming over me, his handsome features twisted and ugly, his mouth closing in on mine.
“Don’t act like you haven’t thought about it, Nell,” he sneered lowering his hand until his fingers were brushing my breast.
“Don’t,” I whimpered, trying to break free of his hold but he was a lot stronger than me.
“Just one kiss. With your hair down like this, you almost look normal. Are you as frigid as you seem, Nellie?”
I jerked my head to the side when he moved his lips towards mine and he lifted his hand from my breast to grip my chin.
“Stop it!” I shouted, my free hand moving quickly, connecting with his cheekbone hard enough to shock him, hard enough to break his hold on me.
Hard enough to fucking hurt.
I didn’t think about the pain in my knuckles as I stumbled away from him, my heart beating wildly. I backed up, keeping my hands raised in front of me, fear and panic tumbling through me in waves. Would he hit me back?
He was holding his cheek, his eyes wide in shock as he watched me move towards the street, looking like he was just waking up from a dream.
“Nell, jesus, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t mean...” he trailed off, shaking his head hard, lashing out with his fist and connecting with the brick wall with a sickening thud. I thought I heard something crack but he didn’t flinch. “Stop,” he said after a moment, his voice dead, devoid of emotion as he moved towards the lawn, keeping several feet between us. “I’m leaving,” he said, walking out onto the street, leaving his car in the driveway.
I didn’t stick around to watch. I bolted inside, closing and locking the door behind me, adrenaline and fear mixing in my blood, making my hands shake furiously.
My ragged breathing echoed around the empty foyer and followed me as I ran up the stairs, lurching into my bedroom and closing the door firmly behind me.
I propped the chair from my desk against the door, wishing I had a lock, bitter that my status as a mental patient didn’t allow such luxuries.
My legs crumpled beneath me, my ass hitting the carpet with a muffled thud. My mind was going a thousand miles a minute but I couldn’t think of anything aside from the way he’d held my arm, the way he’d pushed me, the feeling of his fingers on my chin, the image of his mouth coming towards mine.
I shook my head, trying to dispel the memories, lifting a hand to wipe at my cheek where I could still feel his lips as they’d missed my mouth.
I winced when my knuckles protested at the movement. Looking down, I saw that they were swollen, bruising already beginning around the bone.
Something about the sight calmed me down and wiped the images from my mind. I focused on my bruised and swollen knuckles and something like satisfaction welled inside of me. A slow smile slipped across my lips. I’d punched him.
I’d actually punched Brian in the face.
My smile widened as I stood up and made my way into the bathroom, flicking on the light and turning the water onto its coldest setting before thrusting my bruised hand under the tap. My eyes shifted upward, landing on my reflection and my smile vanished. My skin was so pale it was almost translucent. My grey eyes looked huge on my face and there were dark circles beneath them. My hair was wild, untamed and tangled and my fingers itched to smooth it into a bun. I frowned at the slight bruising on my chin where Brian’s fingers had gripped me, anger welling inside of me.
Had he ever laid a hand on Paige?
The idea had rage curling in my gut, making my hand under the water fist painfully. I’d punch him again if he was in front of me now.
After my hand was numb, I turned off the water and picked up a brush to work it through my hair. When it was smooth, I pulled it into a high bun, making sure all the strands were smooth and in place before brushing my teeth and washing my face.
I smoothed out my pillow before getting into bed and as I reached over to turn off the light, I shifted the book on my nightstand just slightly so that it was perfectly flush with the edge, my water sitting just a couple inches away, right in the middle of its coaster.
With a sigh, I turned out the light, thinking wryly that maybe I couldn’t handle having anything crooked or disorganized in my life, but at least I could punch a guy in the face when he was asking for it.
And I hoped I left a mark.