Thank god we had five days off. I needed to rest, I was so tired and frankly a bit over it.
I spent the first day mainly showereing, yes, showereing, and laying around catching up on sleep.
I lived in a two bedroom apartment by myself. Jacob lived with me at one point, but well, that didn't work out too well so he decided to move back in with his mom and dad.
I was laying on my couch thinking, thinking about Jacob when he called.
"Guess what?" he said as soon as I picked up, no hello, no how are you.
"What?" I asked sarcastically.
"Guess who called and asked us to hang out with them on Friday?"
Jesus, I was sick of this conversation already.
"Who Jacob?"
"Jimmy, The Rev." he was so excited "He called me to ask us to meet up with them."
"Wow, that's exciting." I meant that, I knew how excited he'd be about it.
"Your coming right?" He asked me.
"I dunno Jacob, I was thinking of sitting this one out." I was tired, I wanted to rest and honestly I didn't feel like going.
"You can't, you have to come." He whined "It wouldn't be the same without you, you've never not come."
"I know, I just, I don't know." And I didn't. I don't know what was going on with me.
"Well your coming Ana, it's not negotiable." He said sternly.
I sighed, of course I would go, how could I not? I wasn't desserting them now.
"Of course I'll come."I told him.
Matt. His name suddenly popped into my head. Oh god, I needed to get him out of my head.
Don't be ridiculous Ana, his girlfriend is perfect, you however are not. I sighed, it was true, maybe one day Jacob would want a perfect girlfriend like that too. I wasn't even sure where that thought came from.
"Ana, are you there?"
"Sorry, I was thinking." I told him.
"Ana, what is wrong with you lately? I just get this feeling that you don't want this anymore." Jacob suddenly asked.
I looked out a window, did I want this? "I just don't know Jacob, I really don't. "
He was silent for a moment. "Let's finish up this weekend then we'll talk. Okay?"
I agreed and hung up.
Talk about what? The band or us? Both? I couldn't imagine my life without either the band or Jacob, but something was definitely changing, I was definitely changing. Why was I suddenly feeling this way?
Suddenly one word popped into my mind again. Matt.