♧
Well-known
things are coming ahead
of me, of us.
Shops, streets,
windows, houses, rooms;
places where it all began.
Where our romance began.
And where it will end.
Our end is right in front of us,
and never have I felt this lonely.
He is here, next to me,
but is does not feel like it.
It already feels like he is
somewhere else,
somewhere far away from me.
My hands are shaking,
my lips dry and my stained
cheeks slowly drying,
this is their only chance,
because I will be crying forever.
I stare at him as long as possible,
saving every detail of
his flawed face.
His perfections and imperfections.
Never have I seen such
addictive lips, long lashes,
beautiful eyes and dimples.
Never have I met such an
incredible mind that speaks
such enchanting words.
I have witnessed it all,
seen and heard it all.
All for the first and last time,
because I know I will never
meet someone as special as him.
No one can compare to Harry.
Such rare things came
up my path and I am glad
he was the one who crossed them.
I am delighted to say I fell
in love with someone so beautiful
and I will never forget this feeling.
He will be in my mind
and heart all the time,
and not once will he be free.
This pained person,
with a mind so deep and
memerizing, is the person I
have grown to adore.
My lover.
The one I will leave behind.
Leaving in the dark and
no light will ever come his way again,
because I was that light.
Now it is almost shut off.
His rough hands
will never be on my skin.
Never again to touch my soul.
To cherish me and make me crave.
Our time is near its end
and I already feel myself
shutting off from the rest of the world.
Because he was and is my world
and that is all that will ever be
important to me,
him.
My Harry.
Leaving him behind
is surely the hardest
thing I have to do and I must go and live my life the way I do not want to spend it.
I must leave him and
save my sanity,
although I know I already lost it.
We are one,
both insane, nor sane.
Opposites but in a way the same.
We are meant to be with one another.
And now we are pulled apart.
Like two loved ones
they tear us apart
and their is now way back
to the other.
My soulmate.
I do not know how to
say goodbye,
nor do I want it.
I look over at him and
I let out a breath.
His face is focused on the road
and I grab my chance
by asking what I have wanted to ask.
"Why did you change your mind
all so suddenly?"
He does not look at me and
continues driving
the car with an immense speed,
racing over the streets.
"What do you mean exactly?"
I clear my throat
and think of a way to explain
myself.
"Well, why you insist on
bringing me back home?"
He shakes his head
and strands of his hair
fall in his front of his face.
I long to touch them and put them back, but I resist.
"Because you have a life back there,"
he cuts it off. One short answer.
No enchanting words, nothing.
Seven normal words.
I give up and look out
of the window,
seeing we are almost there.
My heart begins to beat faster
and my hands begin to get sweaty.
Our goodbye is near and
I feel myself falling in
a hole full of sadness.
No panic attack this time,
but sadness that will bother me forever.
"I will let you out near your house,"
he announces.
I look at him with wide eyes.
I jump out of chair and the seatbelt
holds me a bit back.
"What? So that's it? You are just going to 'let me out near my house'?"
I speak up with an imitating voice.
"That's it."
Don't freak out, June.
Don't freak out, I say to myself.
"Harry! Please! I love you! Don't do this! Why are you doing this to me? Why are you being like this?"
I whisper the last part.
"It has to be this way."
He closes his eyes for a second and inhales deeply.
I shake my head and violently
hit his shoulders.
"No! It doesn't! Stop this Harry, you can't do this, to me, to us."
I burst out in crying and
I see a tear falling from the corner of his eyes too.
Being followed by many more
and so we find ourselves crying the last minutes spend together.
I cry even harder when we stop near the candy shop in our town.
He looks over at me with watery eyes and wet cheeks, the same way I look over at him.
"Where I first saw you,"
he starts about the candy shop.
"and where I see you for the last time."
I keep quiet,
unsure of what to say.
I feel my cheeks getting wetter and wetter and nothing stops me from crying.
"I love you, June.
More than anything in this world.
I have loved you, I love you and I will always love you,"
he looks at me with a pained expresion.
"I am sorry for taking you away from you family. I am sorry for ruining your life like this."
"You didn't ruin my life, you gave it purpose again,"
I interrupt him.
"You don't love me, nor do I give you purpose, that's what you think. You developed compassion and sympathy for me."
He smiles a bit and more tears are spilling out, making their journey down his face.
His plump lips collecting a few.
"I do love you, I know-"
I try to convince him.
"You should go, angel.
Go and live your life."
"Promise me one thing Harry."
I sternly look at him and he nods.
"Don't harm yourself, never."
"Goodbye June."
He already looks at his steering wheel, his pained face looking away from me. Without promising he lets me go and I feel myself breaking.
"Harry, promise it! Please."
I whisper.
"Just do it."
"I promise."
The way he looks away and does not look me in the eyes like he always does, pains me so much I start to cry even harder.
Also the fact he promises me something, which he does not mean.
"You don't mean it."
He sighs and lets out a breath that comes out deperate.
He looks at my hands fiddling in my lap and his eyebrows furrow.
"Don't make it any harder than it already is, June."
I cry escapes my lips and I connect myself to his body, grabbing it desperately and clutching
it very hard.
"Please Harry, don't do this!"
His tears fall on my head
and I feel them in a comforting way.
I am laying against his body, leaning over.
Grabbing his face in my hands and attempting to convince him.
His puffy eyes are closed now
and carefully he pushes me off him.
I do not resist any longer and I let myself fall back in the chair.
Defeated I open the door and the warm air immediately meets my cold and wet cheeks.
I look back at him and I feel myself getting pushed away from him,
not by myself, by him.
Mentally he pushes me away
from him.
"Goodbye Harry,"
I whisper and how deperately I want to throw myself in the car again,
I restrain myself from doing.
And for the last time our eyes meet
and I see the beautiful green of them,
one of the first things I fell in love with.
The sparkle they held when I was near, is gone and a sad green color took its place. Just as his smile that is now gone and lips are formed in a thin line.
This man,
once so full of passion and loving,
is now full of sadness and anger.
The one I fell in love with is gone,
he is no more.
Out of my sight,
out of my life but never out of my beating heart.
Never will I understand him,
the reasons he chose to do things the way he did,
but always will I be grateful for the things he gave me.
•////////
This chapter is so so so sad omg. The way they are separated. I am crying. Thoughts about this one then? Vote, comment and share!