Song for this chapter: Slooms by Of Monsters and Men. Play when told to do so, Song on the side.
Literally falling in love with my own story.
➴harry
When meeting Estella, I sort of felt some sort of connection with her.
It was so heartbreaking to see someone as beautiful as her to be stuck in a hospital.
It amazes me how bad the world is, that there's so much more than this small bubble I'm living in.
She has to wake up in tears sometimes.
It's no different for her; her life is a cycle.
Wake up, shower, receive horrible breakfast, receive injections, go to the day room, perhaps receive even more injections, eat crappy lunch, etc.
She was sure beautiful though. And the dress she wore.
It went beautiful with her skin tone.
I felt bad though. She looked so frail and weak when she tried to grab a chair for me.
How can someone so productive be in that position?
She was perfection.
She drew, painted, sang, danced, wrote, was athletic, played the guitar.
She has a talent, she truly does.
And the only way she can express herself is by just staring out the window, admiring the grand view she had.
I couldn't help but feel my heart break a bit when she asked me to return.
It was as if she was desperate, desperate to have someone she can talk to about anything.
I had to promise her, it was only fair.
If I were in her position I'd love one of the boys to promise me that they'd visit.
The one thing that had surprised me was the way she didn't seem to recognize me.
Nancy did, the staff did, but why not her?
I don't want to seem like I wanted her to squeal, but, it just startled me on how she didn't notice that I was part of a band.
Has she really been locked up in there without any sort of knowing of bands and such?
I threw on a blue tank, sliding into a blue plaid shirt, along with white shorts along with my dirty converse.
I had told the boys about me visiting the hospital, and they took it well.
Zayn walked by, glancing towards my direction. He stopped, took two steps back and leaned against the doorframe smirking.
"Do I look fine?" I nervously ask, spraying on a bit of colon.
"Who's this for?" He pushed.
I attempted to not smile, trying to hide it.
"Estella."
He chuckled, walking towards me.
"Well pony boy to-"
I stopped him, laughing.
"I am not pony-boy curtis."
"You saw the pictures the fans made?" He chuckled.
I nodded, returning to the mirror in front of me.
Sighing, I sat down.
"Harry, just dress the way you want. The girl is probably already head over heels for you."
I shook my head, taking off the plaid shirt and tank.
"She doesn't even know about us," I said as I replaced it with a white shirt, and a red plaid shirt on top.
I'll just go with the black ripped skinny jeans, and my brown boots as usual.
Zayn smiled, walking over to where I held my bandannas.
He picked out one that matched my plaid shirt, passing it over to me.
I took it from him, wrapping it around my head.
They pushed back my hair that I needed to cut - it was becoming really long.
"Thanks, mate." I said, smiling at him.
"That's what we're here for," he smiled back, moving out of my room.
I walked out, shoved my wallet into my pocket and grabbed my phone and keys.
"I don't know when I'll be back, but tell the boys I'm going somewhere."
I opened the door, and quickly made my way to my car.
I heard the door open again.
"Somewhere," Zayn snickered as he walked over to his car.
"I'm off to Perrie's. I'll tell Paul where you're going," he smirked.
I nodded and hopped into my car, turning it on.
We were at a random beach house, hoping to stay for a while before the interviews begin to pile on us.
The hospital wasn't so far away - just about ten to fifteen minutes.
I drove through the crowd, attempting to smile and give some time to the fans as I made my way to where Estella was.
I couldn't help but smile at the thought of her name.
It was unique.
You'd usually hear Darcy, Rosalie, Julie, Isabelle, Daniella and such, but Estella was the one who stood out.
And the way that she was, was just unique to my eyes.
The hospital came into view, indicating I was getting closer.
I made a promise to this girl, and I want to keep it.
I pulled up into the parking lot, parking in the B section.
I quickly made my way up into the hospital before anyway would spot me.
The way I saw people in wheelchairs, people being rushed into the E.R broke me.
It's so sad, it truly is.
It's something I never want to experience.
It's something no one should experience.
I walked over to the front desk that controlled Section C, where they held Estella and the other patients.
"Hello, I'm here to visit Estella Rose."
The secretary nodded, typing away, her nails hitting the keyboard.
"Estella is in the day room I believe." She pointed to the area.
"Thanks," I nodded.
"Sir, excuse me. You need to sign in."
I took two steps back, signing their volunteers and visitors book.
The lady passed over a piece of paper.
One was her number, and the other was a visiting sticker which had my name written on it.
I looked back up to her, catching her wink at me.
I forced a smile, walking towards the day room.
How disgusting. How can you still attempt to hook up with someone in a place full of people crying for help?
I scanned the room, no Estella in sight.
I then turned for where their rooms were, looking for room one hundred eight.
I peaked through each tiny square, stopping once I saw Nancy.
I glanced at the room number to make sure, and it was certainly room one hundred eight.
Silently knocking, Nancy looked over.
Her eyes made contact with mine, a smiling growing on her face.
She walked over to the door and opened it.
"Hello, Harry. Come in, let me just finish giving some shots to Estella, have a seat." She points to a wooden chair with a green cushioned seating.
I nervously smiled, closing the door and taking a seat.
"Hold still, sweetheart." Nancy sweetly spoke.
I heard a whimper, and then a small thud.
"All done. Don't worry, it'll be over one day." She positively stated, opening the curtain that kept me from seeing Estella.
There she laid on the bed, looking even weaker than yesterday.
"Hi Harry," her voice croaked, weakly smiling.
"I'll leave you two alone," Nancy said as she took the injections with her.
I rolled my chair next to Estella's bed, taking a seat.
"You came." She softly said.
"I promised you. I keep my word."
"Thank you," she sniffled.
"How are you doing?" I asked, placing my hand on top of hers.
So cold and weak, so opposite of mine.
I scanned her face, the spark I saw in her hazel eyes weren't there like they were yesterday.
When she said six months, she was not lying.
It seemed as if the six months were being squished into one week.
"Weak as ever. I don't think I can do it."
My eyes widened, my hand tightening around hers.
She slightly winced, reminding me of the condition she was in.
"We're going to find a donor, don't you worry."
She lightly chuckled.
"Well, what would you like to do today, I've got loads of time to kill." It was exactly ten thirty and we had the whole day together, - that's if she doesn't have any other plans.
"Well, Nancy's going to let me call my parents to see how they're doing later, but other than that I'm free as usual."
Shouldn't her parents be coming to see how she's doing, instead of the other way around?
"You don't have a phone?"
She blushed, "Sadly, no. We can't afford with all the hospital bills they have to pay."
I nodded, "It's alright."
A moment of silence passed, an idea sparking in my mind.
"You play the guitar, right?"
She looked over at me, slowly nodding.
"Do you have a guitar?"
She sighed, "Yes, but it's all busted and what not."
I shook my head, not minding at all.
"Where is it if you mind me asking?"
She laughed, pointing to a door.
"What a gentlemen. It's in that closet."
I nodded, walking over to the tiny closet and opening it.
It had been full of items.
Canvases, paints, ripped up notebooks, a box full of clothing, shoes in another box, and quite a mess.
In the top of the shelf laid her guitar.
I carefully grabbed it, pulling it down.
The strap as beginning to break, the sides chipped a bit, and the wires seemed as if they weren't in the best condition.
"It's my fathers," she finally said.
"It was one of those hand-me-downs. I haven't had my very own brand new guitar but I hope one of these months I can enjoy one." She smiled.
I sat right back down next to her, placing the guitar on my lap.
"You're lefty?"
She smiled, nodding, "So far I'm the only one in the family."
I slowly placed the guitar on her bed, praying that she would be able to carry it.
She shakily grabbed it, succeeding.
"I haven't played my guitar in forever." She closed her eyes, arms wrapping around the instrument.
"What song should I play?" She asked.
I pondered on the question, my mind blank.
As I was about to respond, she began strumming.
Her eyes closed as she revised the music, as if she were picturing the music sheet in front of her.
I watched as she strummed slowly, putting all her effort into it.
She inhaled, taking a breathe of air.
(play song)
The sea said goodbye to the shore so the sun wouldn't notice
The seaweed that wrapped its arms around you
The carpet on my cheek feels like a forest
And I run through the tall trees with your hand chasing me
The books that I keep by my bed are full of your stories
That I drew up from a little dream of mine, a little nightmare of yours
To be us to take this plunge, to forgive and forget
And be the better man, to be a better man, to be a better man
So love me mother, and love me father, and love my sister as well
The cat's silhouette as big as a monster in this concrete jungle,
With street lights hanging their hats
So make all your last demands for I will forsake you
And I'll meet your eyes for the very first time, for the very last
So love me mother, and love me father, and love my sister as well
So love me mother, and love me father, and love my brother as well
So love me mother, and love me father, and love my sister as well
So love me mother, and love me father, and love my brother as well
Her eyes fluttered opened, looking towards me, ready to sing.
I met a man today and he smiled back at me
Now there are thoughts like these that keep me on my feet, that keep me on my feet.
She strummed the last note, coming to an end.
My heart pounded.
I fought to keep the smile off my face, foolishly admiring her.
She closed her eyes again, biting her bottom lip.
I scanned her face, confused.
And then I saw the tears trail down her face.
I carefully took the guitar away from her, placing it gently at the foot of her bed.
I sat down on the mattress, careful not to cause her pain.
I extended my hand to wipe away the tears, then gently placing my hand over hers.
"What's wrong, beautiful?"
She sniffled, slowly opening her eyes.
Weakly smiling, I saw a spark in her eyes.
"I haven't sang like that in forever." She finally spoke.
"It just felt good. It felt right. To feel the vibration of the guitar at the touch of my fingertips felt like home. To be able to sing out loud without feeling any judgments felt amazing."
I smiled, relief coursing through my body.
"Does that song mean a lot to you?" I asked.
She smiled again, that beautiful smile.
"It does, actually."
Nodding, I took her hand in mine, my thumb rubbing circles.
"You sing beautiful, Estella."
The way her voice flowed along with the song, smoothly following to the beat of the noise she produced.
The way her eyes would close in concentration, her heart being poured out through her voice, through the strums and notes of the guitar.
She blushed, smiling.
"Have you ever written a song before?"
I stiffened, not wanting to say anything.
"No," I quickly said.
Her smile widened, happiness radiating.
"Oh come on!"
I chuckled, "Yes, I have. Have you?"
She shook her head, "I've tried when I was five," she laughed.
A knock was prompt at the door, the sound of the door creaking filled the room.
"Hi Este-" A women came in, stopping in her tracks as she her eyes came in contact with mine.
"Honey, what happe-" I'm guessing her husband, had walked in as well, stopping in his tracks due to his wife.
I stood up, nervous.
"H-Hi, you must be Estella's parents."
"Mum, dad, this is Harry. Harry, this is my mum and dad," Estella introduced us.
Her parents smiled, walking to Estella's bed.
"Well, it was lovely meeting you guys, I'll be on my way out to give you privacy. Bye Estella," I smiled.
Her eyes disagreed with me, they pulled me back into the room, wanting me in the chair next to hers.
"Bye, Harry. Come tomorrow? Please?" She gave me puppy eyes, making it hard to resist.
"Of course," I smiled.
Her expression changed, eyes delighted.
She gave a full-on smile, wide and what not.
Damn, her smile could cure cancer.
➴
cough, john green.