A/n: I hate therapy so so much. It makes me feel stupid but I'm being forced to start going again:(
A few months ago I stopped taking my medication but my mum wants me to start taking it again. I don't want to but my anxiety has been really bad recently, especially this past week as I've had multiple panic attacks.
And sorry that I've recently been taking long to update.
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Tyler's Pov:
My face smushed against my pillow as I lazily rolled over in bed to switch my ringing alarm off. I sighed noticing how much colder my body was with out Josh sleeping close next to me. The empty feeling pooled up inside my stomach making me hurt inside........ Or maybe Josh just fucked me too hard.
But either way, I was still in pain. However it wasn't necessarily a bad pain.
I smiled at the thought of Josh and I last night. A blush filled up my cheeks as the memories flooded back into my mind, still remembering everything that had happened vividly.
Finally deciding to get out of bed, I quickly got changed into black skinny Jeans and a t-shirt, but as I turned around to look in the mirror, I jolted back in shock. I had trails of hickeys scattered all over my chest and stomach. The whole side of my neck was a dark mix of purples, blues and greens and it looked as if I had been beaten up really badly.
"That son of a bitch," I muttered as my fingers trailed over the side if my jaw in awe.
This was going to impossible to cover up. Josh did this on purpose, he wanted everybody to see at school. I chuckled lightly before before pulling my top over my head, then grabbing a thick black hoodie and putting it on as well in hope that it would cover my neck.
Adjusting the hood of the hoodie so that my neck wasn't visible, I sighed. "This will have to do," I spoke to myself before walking out if my room to the kitchen.
I also had noticed, when in my room, that Josh had taken the basketball from last night, but he'd still left the first one he threw over. Josh probably didn't see it as it was hidden underneath my desk behind my chair.
As I walked into the kitchen I saw my mum scrambling eggs in a pan. Zack was sitting up on the counter staring down at the phone in his hands. "You're back," I smiled going over to hug her.
She grinned kissing the top of my forehead. "How are you doing? Did you sleep well, Tyler?"
Zack snorted loudly looking up from his phone at me. I furrowed my brows at the boy.
"Yeah.... Uh I slept great, mum," I answered, looking at Zack questioningly.
"That's good," she said turning off the stove. "I'm just going to go and wake up Jay. You two can help yourself to some eggs." She exited the room and went upstairs.
I immediately turned to face Zack raising my eyebrow. He burst out into laughter clutching his stomach.
"What's so funny?" I questioned sternly.
"Oh, Josh Joshie. Fuck, you feel soo good in me," Zack mimicked in my voice with a smirk. He held up his phone showing a picture of Josh and I asleep together, my body snuggled up in his chest.
My mouth fell wide open causing Zack to fall into laughter again.
"Wha-what I-I... I'm...j-just...ZACK!" I had no idea what to say to the 14 year old who seemed to find this hilarious.
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone," Zack reassured putting his phone away. I sighed nodding my head.
"Promise?" I asked.
"Promise," Zack stated.
He smirked at me before speaking again. "I always knew there was something off about you. You and Jenna never fitted well together and I always had my suspicions. But I never really expected you to be gay," he laughed. "Does sex hurt a lot? To be honest I can imagine you having a dick shoved up your ass."
I rolled my eyes before walking off. "Don't worry! I don't judge, Tyler!" He yelled.
--------------time skip--------------
"Hey, Tyler!" Brendon called jogging up to me. I was grabbing books out if my locker for first lesson.
"Hi Brendon," I answered, shutting and locking my locker. "We have Italian now, don't we?"
Brendon rolled his eyes. "I hate Italian."
"Same," I responded as we walked down the hallway together.
The first two lessons seemed to whiz by and soon again it was morning break. I sat down at are usual table in the cafeteria, hissing at the pain shooting through my butt. Pete looked up at me confused.
"Are you okay, Tyler?" He asked.
"Yeah, I'm great," I smiled, biting the inside my lip to ignore the unpleasant feeling.
Josh looked at me with an eyebrow raised, making me blush and turn away.
This would probably be a good time to tell everyone but I was too scared. I stared down at my lap biting harshly on my lip. The taste of blood filling my mouth, leaving a metallic tinge on my tastebuds as my thoughts drowned out the sound of people talking. My stomach was sickenly swirling around making me want to throw up everything I had inside me. I couldn't hear anything, the ringing in my ears was getting louder and louder and my head was spinning blurring my vision of the world around me. My breathing pace quickening as I fiddled with the hem of my hoodie absent mindedly. I didn't notice how hard I was biting my lip until Pete shook me, bringing my mind back to reality.
"Tyler," Pete spoke in a concerned voice, everyone at the table turning to face me. "Stop that, your lip is bleeding. Are you sure you're okay?"
I nodded my head slowly. The bell then went off indicating next lesson, I quickly stood up stood up and stormed off.
I didn't want to be in school right now, I wanted to be at home alone were I could silently cry to myself about all my problems.
But of course, that wasn't going to happen. I was in school were everything happening in real life and I couldn't stop it.
Walking down the hallway, the rest of my friends trailing along a bit further back behind me, I accidentally bumped into Jenna.
"Hey Ty," she smiled hugging me. I awkwardly hugged her back knowing that Josh was watching from behind me. I could feel his eyes lingering on my body.
I broke the hug turning my head back to get a glimpse at Josh. He looked pissed.
I noticed how Pete looked anxious and tense for some reason. I didn't question it though.
Turning back to Jenna smiling warmly, she wasn't paying attention to me. Her head was faced to the side as she looked over at Chance, who was hanging out with his friends.
I sighed clearing out my throat to gain the blonde girl's attention. "I need to go to lesson," I said smiling awkwardly.
"Right, we should get going," Jenna responded. She looked hesitant but still placed a quick kiss to my lips before walking away.
As she left, I immediately used my sleeve to wipe my lips clean from her. It didn't feel right.
Josh looked nothing other than annoyed, angry and sad. Deciding to walk over to the red haired boy, he just started to walk way. My hand gripped onto his sleeve pulling him back.
"Josh, please don't be angry," I pleaded. This caught the attention of all of our friends as they looked at us questioningly.
Josh shook his head pushing my hand away. "Was I just a one night stand to you?!" He yelled before speed walking off.
Brendon opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off. "Save it, twentyhead!" I seethed in annoyance before darting off to class.
Definitely not in the mood for making any human interaction, I took a seat at the back of the class far away from any of my friends.
-------------time skip-------------
The lesson dragged on for what seemed like an eternity although it was only 1 hour. Lunch break was tiring too. I didn't spend my time sitting at the table because I knew it would be awkward so I was sat outside perched atop small brick wall with Pete and Patrick.
The pair were chatting together but I wasn't listening. I sighed before speaking up. "I need to go and talk to Jenna about something," I mumbled standing up.
Patrick just nodded his head but Pete looked as if he'd just seen a ghost. "About what?" He questioned.
I shook my head unsurely. "It's just...." I trailed off not knowing how to explain this to them. Shrugging, I went back inside to building and down the hall where I saw Jenna chatting with Debby and Melanie. Pete and Patrick both followed after me.
"Hey, Jenna. Mind if I have a quick word with you about something?" I asked.
"Sure," She replied, however she looked nervous. I didn't know why though. I should be the one who's scared, not her.
"Recently, I've been noticing things," I began staring right into her cold blue eyes. Nodding her head, she attatched her hand with mine and started rubbing her thumb along my fingers.
My eyes wondered over her shoulder were I saw my friends walking down the hallway laughing together at a joke Brendon made. I gulped, subtly trying to detatch her hand from mine but the girl wouldn't let go.
"And I don't really think we're working out?" I stated although it sounded more like a question.
"Is it me?" Jenna asked.
"Jenna, I-"
"Because I'm sorry!" The blonde girl sobbed out. "I didn't mean to do it, I jus-"
"Wait, what did you do?" I asked, she looked at me in confusion.
"You d-don't know?" She said, struck dumbfounded.
By now there were crowds of students all watching the conversation evolve between me and Jenna.
"Jenna, what did you do?!" I said, my voice rising in volume.
"I've been cheating on you," she mumbled. There were gasps and chatters within the students.
"Whore!" One of Chance's friends called out recieving laughs from the rest if the students. Chance rolled his eyes elbowing the guy hard in the side.
My mouth fell open as I stared at the girl in front of me. "How long?"
"Since the start of the school year," she said, regret filling her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Tyler. Please forgive me."
"With who?" I asked.
"Tyler, that's not important."
"Tell me who."
"I'm not going to-"
"Who Jenna?!"
She sighed glancing around at all the on lookers. Eyes stopping at one specify boy and mouthing the words 'sorry' to him. She gulped before speaking, "Pete."
My eyes widened in shock as I turned around to face the boy. "Pete?!" I questioned.
He just shrugged in response. "Sorry dude. You are my best friend and all, but I'm hot and your girlfriend's hot so we've been fucking," he simply stated.
My eyes widened in shock. I didn't know whether to laugh or be mad at him. I heard Brendon snort from behind me which I couldn't help but let myself smile at.
I bit my bottom lip letting my face relax to a more serious tone before speaking with Jenna again.
"All this time?" I questioned, kind of hurt by Jenna's actions. Sure, I was going to break up with her anyway but her cheating on me just made the whole situation worse. Cheating on a guy just makes them feel like shit.
"Tyler, I'm sorry," she apologized, tear rolling down her cheek. "Please, I love you Ty."
I sighed looking straight at the girl. "Where were you on that night you went missing?"
"I was with Pete," she muttered shaking her head. "I was ignoring all the calls I was getting fro my phone because we were in the middle of some...'business',"
I rolled my eyes at the thought. "But please, Tyler. I won't ever do it again. I love you, so so much. Don't leave me, I need you, Ty," She sobbed flinging her arms around my neck and crying into my hoodie.
"Jenna," I grunted trying to push the pleading girl off me. He hands were gripped onto the rim of my hood that I purposely put on to cover my neck. My eyes widened in fear as I tried to pull the girl of me.
She stumbled back as I pushed her away, but her mouth fell open as she caught sight of the mess on my neck. I quickly tried to cover it up but Jenna pushed my hand away and yanked down the side of my hoodie revealing my neck.
I struggled trying to walk away. "Jenna, I-"
"Which bitch did this to you?!!" She yelled in my face. "I'm gonna beat the fuck out of this girl, nobody touches my man."
"Jenna, I'm not your your man," I stated with my arms crossed over.
"Then which girl has you?" She shouted. Everybody watching went quiet and started looking around at each other.
"Correction," I smiled, looking over at Josh with a smirk. "Boy. Which boy has you?"
Jenna furrowed her brows in confusion. Brendon looked at me with an eyebrow raised as Ryan cocked his head to the side. The football team stared at me dazed as all the basketball jocks and cheerleaders watched me in anticipation. Everyone looked confused, except for Josh. He smirked as I walked over to him and connected my lips against his.
Josh pushed back against the locker with one hand pushing down on my chest and the other one gripped underneath the curve of my butt. I smiled into the kiss hearing the raging yells of Jenna and the loud excited screeching from Brendon.
I ignored all of the chaotic yelling though and let myself feel Josh's touch. His teeth biting down on my bottom lip as his tongue explored the inside of my mouth.
Josh pulled away to start sucking on the side of my neck, that's as if he could even add any more hickeys already considering the state if it. My head rest apon Josh's shoulder as I let the boy glide his tongue along my skin.
A sheepish smile and a bright red blush displayed across my face as I looked around at everyone watching, some even on snapchat filming it on their phones.
Jenna was angry, she glared right at me before stomping off. I didn't care though, I was happy with Josh and nothing would change that.
Brendon was practically fan-girling over me and Josh right now. He had the biggest open mouthed smile on his face. "Holy shit!" He laughed with a smirk forming on his lips. He pulled out his phone to start taking pictures.
"Brendon, stop!" I whined trying to block the camera. Josh kept pushing me firmly down so I couldn't stand up, his lips still underneath my jaw.
"Josh and Tyler, who would've guessed?" Ryan chuckled. Each one of my friends stared at me in awe, either really shocked or amused.
I smiled digging my face into Josh's neck, trying to hide my red cheeks. I couldn't help but let out a whimper as Josh found my sweet spot.
"Wow," Jack laughed. "I bet you're going to be really kinky when you have sex."
Josh pulled away, his lips puffy as he turned around to face Brendon. "You owe Tyler £30," Josh smirked.
"You guys fucked!" Brendon yelled gaining the attention of people near by.
"Last night," Josh stated standing up straight and pulling me into his chest.
"Let me guess, Tyler bottomed," Pete chuckled. They all hummed in agreement.
I furrowed my brows as Josh nodded. "Why do you think I'd bottom?" I questioned.
They all shrugged. "You look like you would," said Brendon.
A blush filled my cheeks as a smile pulled at the corner of my lips. "So, Brendon. Where's my money?" I asked.
Brendon burst out into laughter. "You think I was actually going to pay you to loose your virginity?" He questioned with a smirk. "I just did that so you'd loose it quicker. You were missing out, dude."
Josh let out a breathy laugh rubbing my back soothingly. "And now that you're my boyfriend, I get to fuck you whenver I want."
"Boyfriend?" I said with an eyebrow raised.
"Yes," Josh smiled kissing the top of my head making me blush. "My boyfriend."