Furrowing her brows in contempt, Aqua repeatedly flipped the pages of the hardcover book in frustration, unable to come to terms with the contents she was reading.
"Change diapers, sponge-baths until the baby loses her umbilical cord, breastfeeding..."
She swiftly shut the book, closing her eyelids in a desperate attempt to prevent herself from turning green. Unfortunately, the book's detailed and somewhat graphical illustrations inevitably resurfaced into her mind. Thereby forcing her to let out a cry in agony. Not long before tossing [The Comprehensive Guide to Infant-care] precariously across the living room.
"DAMN THIS KAZUMAH FOR GETTING ME SUCH A GRAPHICAL BOOK!"
...
Having been a month since their trip ended. The incurred cost of the vacation had mercilessly bitten away a massive chunk of their spare savings, Kazuma was forced once again to restart the arduous ordeal of kill quests as soon as possible. Alongside him, an overjoyed Megumin and Darkness were eager to display their improvements in combat upon his return. Although much to Kazuma's dismay, he had to leave Aqua at home due to her current state.
Unfortunately for Aqua, she was not left entirely to her own devices. Rather Kazuma had his own set of plans for her, dashing off headfirst to Axel's public library only to return with a dense, heavy book. Endowing it to Aqua with a vague set of instructions.
"You are going to be a mother soon. Please understand what you have to do."
Spoken like a true adult.
Adding on to that, Megumin and Darkness were not prepared at all for the sugary spectacle; Aqua obliging to Kazuma's request without any form of argument was already a huge shock in itself. Furthermore, after accepting the book with both her hands, she proceeded to plant a quick peck on Kazuma's cheek. Leaving both the Arch Wizard and Crusader gushing at their little public showcase, at the same time deep in thought about any possible seductive spell Kazuma had cast onto Aqua during their trip.
Though much to their satisfaction, Kazuma promised to satisfy their curiosities once the kill quest was completed.
...
...
...
Aqua blinked her tired eyes a few times as she brought herself slowly back into reality. Glancing around, her eyes eventually found the clock perched above the fireplace.
"They should be home right about now."
Although it had only been a few hours since their departure. The eerie quietness of the house brought about nostalgic vibes: The chaotic outbreaks and rambles of her guild mates were few of the things she dearly missed.
...
As if by fate, a set of clattering and heavy footsteps crashing from the main door jolted Aqua to her feet.
Gazing behind the couch, Aqua noticed how ravaged her compatriots appeared to be: Their clothing were worn and torn, with visible parts of their bodies covered in wounds or grit.
Yet the Crusader and Wizard remained as energized as ever. Leaving her Kazuma on the ground, struggling to get onto his feet in such a comical fashion; Aqua was unable to hold in her chuckles at the pathetic sight.
...
"BWAH! These Golems sure pack a punch! Its a good thing my explosions turned them into nothing but a bunch of cinders."
Megumin proudly slammed the foot of her staff downwards, loudly proclaiming her merits in utter delight.
...
Darkness grunted in discontentment at Megumin's triumphant exclamation.
"That's not fair Megumin! You'd at least let the golems smash me once with their rock hard fists."
...
"Well, you were to slow to take point... So I had to engage them first."
...
"Fine, Next time I will be faster."
...
Kazuma had enough of their bickering. Raising his hands up, latching onto the back of their necks by surprise, gripping rather tightly and initiating his Drain touch sequence.
The both of them collapsed onto the hard mahogany flooring before they could even retaliate.
...
Crossing his arms once before heaving a sigh of utter disappointment, Kazuma began chastising them with his trademark condescending demeanor.
"Darkness, you were too sluggish today! As for you Megumin, the explosion spell once again incinerated all the loot we needed to collect. You should have used the other spell back at the valley. "
...
"My my my, Kazuma conveniently blaming others. How are you going to be a father like this? ... SKSKSKSKS!"
Kazuma's vein burst at that degenerative comment.
...
"Hey you stinking Goddess... I doubt you would be any help even if you were there in the first place."
...
Darkness being the first to recover, gingerly assisted Megumin back onto her feet.
"Sorry Kazuma, we were too excited to hear about your holiday experience. As such we were distracted, too caught up in the heat of the moment."
Upon Megumin's convincing apology, Kazuma was about to let it slide. Darkness however has other plans in mind. Clasping her arms together, with mad pink streaks materializing across her cheeks. The blonde instantly closed the distance between them such that her nose was almost touching Kazuma's.
"PLEASE PUNISH ME AS YOU DEEM FIT! I PROMISE TO BE KAZUMA'S GOOD CRUSADER NEXT TIME."
The wide, malicious and slobbering grin of hers combined with all that shivering, made Kazuma reconsidered his course of actions. Eventually running out of energy to bother, he nonchalantly dragged himself onto the sofa, laying himself beside Aqua.
"I thought you guys want to know more about the trip?"
...
Those words were enough to rejuvenate those two zombies lying prone on the ground, injecting their spirits with fresh adrenaline as they briskly sprang onto the sofa chairs with eager ears.
...
...
...
"Wow... How much I wished that I was there as well..."
Megumin was visibly saddened, dipping her head down depressingly. However, A shoulder tap by Kazuma brought her back upright.
"Cheer up, We will go there together next time."
...
"Are you sure thats all you both did? Not any lewd or forbidden stuff...Uegh."
Meanwhile, Darkness's breathing was heavy and raspy, her inner masochist ultimately claiming the moment. Kazuma glared at her in a shadowy, agitated state. Bringing up a finger and pointing it accusingly at her.
"You hopeless idiot, even if I did do any of those things. You will probably be the last person on my mind to tell."
...
"Urgh... Such a mean remark comment Kazuma."
Darkness then turned to Aqua, hoping for any kind of followup response. While much to her initial dismay, Aqua shook her head frantically to deny any consent towards Kazuma's sexual exploits. However, as the intimate moment at the private pool risen back into Aqua's memory, spontaneously forcing her to turn away to hide her bright pink flushes trailing across her cheeks. This little action of hers suggested otherwise, effectively answering Darkness's question though much to her weird pleasure.
"Uegh, you guys did it even when Aqua is pregnant, are there no limits to your hormones Kazuma?"
...
Kazuma turned to the blonde, about to grant her a piece of his mind.
"You little..."
...
Meanwhile, Megumin was the first to feel it. Their dampened moods from the results of the quest clouded the air with a filthy sense of dread. Being the one held responsible for losing the rewards, she took it upon herself to come up with a solution.
Think Megumin...Think.
...
She explosively bursted up from her seat. Cutting through the heated conversation like a hot knife through butter, prompting the three other sullen figures to direct their surprise towards her gleeing figure.
"Why not lets do some shopping for the baby! I am sure it would alleviate the mood, anyways it has to be done sooner or later."
Leave it to Megumin to bolster the morale of their party. A shopping trip was probably the best option for venting their fustrations
Meanwhile, Kazuma glanced at Aqua with a dead cold stare. His arm making her away around her shoulder, forcibly turning her entire body to face his.
"Eh? Couldn't you have went shopping in meantime we were completing out quest?"
...
"Hey Kazuma! I was studying the book as much as I could. You thought that I could complete the book in less than a day."
...
"Yeah, I found the book in the walkway... You do know its a library book right? Would you be ever so kind to pay for the damages?"
...
"I AM SO SORRY KAZUMAH!"
...
...
...
Since Axel was way too small to house a departmental store, they had to take the horse-carriage to another city. The trip didn't take very long, being located at most fifteen minutes away from Axel itself.
Unlike many of the towns Kazuma had been too, Capitol City Cherudim resembled that of a modern first world city from the 21st century. The city was vibrant and upbeat from the pop music thumping melodically in the background. Its townscape dominated with large, pristine shopping complexes with large scroll advertisements streaming from their sides, displaying an endless assortment of consumer goods and designer products.
The four of them were awestruck by the sight before them.
The Capitol City Cherudim had always been infamous for its crazy shopping scenes. Possessing a ridiculous track record of consumers having been through its colossal departmental stores. Leaving only with copious amount of shopping bags and shriveled up wallets.
...
The carriage pulled over at a multi-story Infant-Care Mega-mart, seemingly the first of its kind ever established. The four of them eagerly disembarked, rushing headfirst through the automatic glass doors that brought forth a blast of pleasant cold wind. Storming across the unending rows of shelves stocked full of different baby supplies. Kazuma could help back a snicker at their over the top reactions. It was only natural as the experience of shopping in such an exquisite, comfortable environment was entirely alien to them.
...
Aqua returned from one of the aisles with hands chocked full of baby-suits. Prompting Kazuma to raise an eyebrow at her selection.
"Aqua, why are all the baby clothes you picked blue in color?"
Aqua pouted in irritation at Kazuma's disapproving look.
"What other colors should I have picked... since She is going to be the daughter of the Goddess of water, she ought to start looking like her accomplished mother!"
Kazuma narrowed his eyelids, nonchalantly pointing his finger towards her accusingly.
"I will probably have even more nightmares if I have too take care of two Aquas. Pick something else..."
Aqua puffed up her rosy cheeks, her cerulean eyes shimmering and bulging pitifully. Giving Kazuma a small window of opportunity to brace for impact.
"KAZZUUUMAH! PLEASEEEE PRETTY PLEASEE.!"
...
"How about this red one?!"
Megumin popped up next to Kazuma, abruptly ending their bickering while suggestively flashing a bright red infant bodysuit.
Kazuma nodded his head once, after inspecting the article with a convincing look of approval etched across his face. Much to Megumin's satisfaction, Kazuma accepted it, folding up the clothing and depositing it into the basket.
"Hmm this looks fine I guess, I really do like the bright yellow accents that run along the sleeves."
...
"Funny, Darkness said the same thing too, guess she really likes yellow."
...
"Clothes aside, I really need the baby formula and some other miscellaneous toys and stuff."
...
"Say no further, I got you Kazuma!"
The burly blonde was clumsily tumbling her way towards Kazuma, unable to bear the weight of baby formula tins on her arms any longer. She offloaded them into the basket like a dump truck. Kazuma was very much amazed that the packaging was not damaged, given the haphazard manner in which she handled them.
"Kazuma! Aqua! Do you need more? I can carry another five hundred tins of those for you both. The weight of the tins pressing against my body ... Uegh."
Kazuma shifted a step backwards, genuinely frightened at the blonde flinging her head around in sensual pleasure. At the same time picking up one of the tins and meticulously scanned the content labels
"Golden milk powder for young, healthy infants. How did you know the brand to pick anyways?"
"Well, apparently this was the brand of baby powder my father invested in while I was still an infant. I figured it would be the best choice for her."
Taking a good look at Darkness's crimson face and quivering body, Kazuma began to feel slightly skeptical about this decision.
"As long as my kid doesn't turn out to be some masochistic pervert like you, why not."
...
Leaving their shopping bags in the carriage with ample time to spare, the group pushed their way through the streets, eventually ending up in another departmental store.
"We will meet back at the entrance in an hour, don't run off too far."
Megumin and Darkness peeled off from the group, leaving Aqua and Kazuma alone. Aqua encircled her fingers around his once both her female compatriots were out of their sight. Prompting Kazuma to pop a question.
"So what do you feel like seeing?"
"I don't know. Lets go walk around and find out for ourselves."
...
All of the boutiques were selling luxurious and pristine goods, unmatched compared to the quality of products back in Axel. Unfortunately, the prices were beyond the roof, heavily discouraging them both from partaking in the joy of extravagant shopping.
Everything was apparently fun and games from this point forth, the both of them scampering across different shops and trying on their vast array of seasonal wares. Kazuma had to make a mental note for himself during their little adventure: Not to stare to deeply at Aqua whenever she reappears from the changing room in some lustrous, revealing dresses.
...
"Kazuma! How do I look in this dress?"
...
"Its nice, I mean the skirt extends all the way to the ankles. Much more acceptable than wearing your common outfit, exposing your bare ass for all to admire."
...
Aqua tilt her head away from Kazuma, hiding her disturbed expression.
"Only a degenerate, no-life NEET like you would stare at me like, everyone else has better things to do than be distracted by my rear."
...
No but seriously, you have a lower body that other girls would kill to have.
...
...
...
One of the shops was able to catch Aqua's undivided attention, much to Kazuma's surprise. Aqua was forced to stop dead in her tracks, abruptly swerving around to face its glass display. Kazuma was coerced to turn his body as well to greet the oncoming sight.
Staring back at them was a glimmering pearl white wedding gown. The likes of which Kazuma had never seen before.
Upon stealing a quick glance at her, Kazuma noticed her deep cerulean eyes were entirely transfixed onto the dress, refusing to budge even the slightest. Her palm pressing gently onto the glass pane with a sense of longing, soaking in its radiance.
Damn I completely forgotten about it.
"Kazuma ... When are we getting married?"
Can't she be ever more blunt?
Kazuma murmured under his breath, partially tightening his grip around Aqua's hand.
"As soon as possible."
...
At this rate, how am I ever say no to her anymore?
Sighing once, he gradually released his hold on her. Moving inside the shop for a brief moment before returning to Aqua's side, much to her confusion of his irregular actions.
"Kazuma? What did you?"
...
"Nothing, I was just curious about the shop. Aqua I have everything figured out, just be a little patient."
Patience, a quality that was the last thing to expect from Aqua.
Kazuma casually shrugged at his response before catching on to Aqua's hand yet again, peeling her ever so gently from the display glass. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to her, his other hand carried a wedding brochure, slipping it stealthily into the depths of his back pocket as they made their way deeper into the mall.
...
With twilight eventually settling above the horizons of Capitol City Cherubim, it was officially time to depart.
"Look! The lovey dovey couple are back from their shopping date."
Kazuma gritted his teeth as he fired a cold stare at Megumin' smug look.
"One more word Megumin and I will slap the living daylights out of you, anyways WHATS WITH ALL THESE SHOPPING BAGS."
Darkness interjected their conversation, standing between them with a sturdy, fearsome facial expression, bringing up her eyes to meet Kazuma's own.
They were burning with seriousness.
"Do not mind us, our wardrobes are getting empty as more clothes are destroyed during kill quests... Do try to understand Kazuma..."
Scanning the contents of the bags, recognizing the large numbers of sports skins that Darkness wore under her armor.
Just a little bit too many for Kazuma to be comfortable with.
With a suspicious tick triggering within him, the bags felt way too large to contain just mere skins. Much to Darkness's horror, Kazuma delved his hands underneath the bundles of clothing to uncover a much greater horrifying stash...
... Of handcuffs, a bundle of nylon rope, A whip and some other dangerous looking objects.
Kazuma spun his head towards Darkness, appalled by the items before him. However, he was abruptly cut off as Darkness swung her head back once more, letting her inner masochist run loose.
"Kazuma, please... Dont stare at me like... Its so fierce... So painful...UEGH!"
...
Megumin climbed atop the carriage first, piling up the shopping bags along the way. After which, she held out her hand to Aqua, gingerly assisting her onto the seats due to her oversized belly getting in the way.
"I did try to discourage her but she was pretty adamant about getting them."
Kazuma shoved a dysfunctional Darkness into the carriage before finally locking the rear - barrier. Signaling for the driver to take off for Axel.
It has been a pretty rough day.
...
...
...
What does it mean to truly be a good father?
A lone figure carrying a candlelight, meticulously tiptoed along the corridor. Having night arrived faster than expected, and everyone in the mansion should have hit the haystack by now. Yet Kazuma stood in front of Aqua's door, having been hit with another pang of Insomnia. leaving him wide awake but in a complete disarray.
Sleep just flat out refuses to meet him.
The amount of worries wrecking havoc inside his mind bears the equivalent force of a raging typhoon.
Knocking the sturdy wooden door once, seeking the antidote to the poisonous stress that was consuming him
"Hmm Kazuma, what are you doing here?"
Kazuma waltzed into the room without word, settling on the side Aqua's bed. Arching his back and slouching his head over with an air of gloominess hanging above him.
"Kazuma, if you don't answer my question, I would have you kicked out my room you know that! I might be pregnant but don't you dare test the limits of a goddess."
This unshameful bitch isn't doing me any favors...
Aqua let off a sigh of what seemed like disappointment, taking her seat next to Kazuma.
...
...
"Its happening really fast isn't it? I am going to be a father soon, its all really hard to believe. What if I screw up and something goes wrong?..."
Although Kazuma finally found the courage to break the silence, his voice jittery and ridden with fear suggested otherwise. His head remained bowed throughout, distracting himself by playing with his fingers.
...
All this unnecessary, contagious anxiety from her partner was driving Aqua up the wall.
"HUH, Maybe if I threaten you with some severe ass-whooping. Those concerns won't even cross your mind."
Facing her with dark narrowed eyelids. His hands made their way to her face and started forcefully massaging her cheeks from her vulgar remark.
"Yeah, probably cry me to death or something you bitch goddess!"
A tinge of crimson could be seen on her cheeks as he gradually released his hold on them.
"Fine, if I wouldnt convince you. Maybe she can!"
Aqua snatched Kazuma's hand, guiding it onto her oversized belly and gently placed his palm on it. As if on cue, Kazuma felt something amiss. The sensation from his palm provoking some sort of movement from within the baby bump itself.
"What was that tap?"
Aqua could only roll her eyes and break into a giggle at Kazuma's cluelessness when it comes to taking care of children.
"Its called a kick Kazuma... Sheesh you ought to read the books you borrow before handing them over to me! I guess you too have much to learn about childcare."
...
A warm, husky whisper made its way into Aqua's ear, sending chills down her spine.
"Maybe I will get more familiar if I start sleeping with you more often."
A gentle, affectionate slap reached Kazuma's forehead to subjugate his inner demons. After that, Aqua let loose a smirk much to Kazuma's confusion. Walking over to the study table and returning beside Kazuma with an all too familiar book.
[The Comprehensive Guide to Infant-care]
"I have a better idea... Why not lets read this together."
With the couple finding their comfortable positions against the bedframe, reading the book together to each other in. Filling up the atmosphere of the room with endless stream of childish insults, heated debates and cynical jokes.
Falling asleep in each other's comforting embrace, gallant smiles etched across their lips. At long last, able to accept their newfound responsibilities as parents.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.