*Troye's POV*
I tried to hide my laughter as I watched Tyler and Zoe drunkenly dance around the room. They looked like they were having so much fun I kind of regretted agreeing to be Tyler's designated driver. The rest of the people at the party had agreed to just stay the night, but Tyler wasn't have any of that, saying it'd mess up his whole schedule. Part of me knew the only real reason he wasn't changing his mind was because he'd forgotten his laptop at home.
"Troye, come dance with us!" Zoe giggled, slinging her arm around Tyler's neck and practically collapsing in giggles. I just rolled my eyes at them, grabbing my phone to take a picture.
"Say cheese!" I cooed, smiling when both of them slurred out the word. This would be good blackmail material for when they were sober. As I tried to shove my phone into the pocket of my jeans I felt the couch sink down next to me. I looked up, surprised to see it was Tyler sitting next to me. I could smell the alcohol on his breath from here, wrinkling my nose up in distaste.
"Hey, Tilly, what's up?" I asked, already smiling in anticipation of his drunk reply.
"I'm bored of dancing, I want to do something new." He pouted, tracing awkward little patterns into the back of my hand. I pulled away, the familiar butterflies returning to my stomach that always accompanied his touch. The worst part was he had no idea what he did to me, so he just kept fooling around. Whether it was slapping my ass or just dropping some sort of flirty one-liner at the perfect time, he was always finding new ways to make my stomach flip flop. I was amazed he hadn't figured me out yet, I always turned into a blushing stuttering mess when he did these things. Or maybe he had. Maybe he already knew exactly how I felt, he just didn't care. It's not like I could blame him, I was just some inexperienced kid to him.
"Troye? What are you thinking about?" He asked, leaning his head on my shoulder and fluttering his eyelids shut. I smirked, knowing it'd only be a matter of time before he was begging me to drive him home.
"Boys." I replied honestly, enjoying the way his eyes shot open and he sat up slightly, obviously interested in the topic.
"Do tell. Is there someone at the party you want to frickle frack?" Tyler teased, purposely jabbing me in the ribs. I rolled my eyes, but really it was only to cover up the blush rising to my cheeks. Truthfully, the answer to his question was yes, but I'd never tell him that... Even if the person wasn't him.
"No, just boys in general." Tyler seemed a little disappointed with this answer at first, but a moment later he was nodding eagerly again. He jumped up suddenly, extending an arm to me. I shook my head slowly but firmly.
"I don't dance, Ty." He pouted a bit, but compared to usual he was pretty good about it. He ran back to Zoe, who happily greeted him back with open arms and show tunes.
Tyler seemed to have really renewed his energy with that three second nap, because it was now over an hour later and he was still going, drunker than ever. He was going to be fun to get home later on. I didn't really mind though, I kind of liked looking after him. It made me feel needed, like I wasn't just that awkward kid he hung out with sometimes. He depended on me for this.
"Let's play a game!" Zoe's shrill squeal was even louder than the blasting music. Everyone else obviously thought the same because they were all looking at her with matching glares of distaste.
"What game?" Alfie asked, eyeing her suspiciously. Zoe didn't even seem to know, as she then began stroking her imaginary beard thoughtfully. Her eyes brightened suddenly, excitement bursting out of her. She'd obviously thought of a game.
"Let's play spin the bottle! It'll be scandalous." She said, weaving her fingers together like some sort of evil genius. I couldn't help but snicker to myself at how insane they were when drunk. Tyler wandered over then, now finished his conversation with Connor. He automatically wrapped his arm around her waist. He acted like it was just a casual friendly embrace, but I had a feeling he really needed her support to stand up straight.
"What are you, some sort of sixth grader? Let's play seven minutes in heaven!" He suggested with a fist pump, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Zoe frowned, mumbling something about how she wasn't fond of dirty deeds going on in her closet. Tyler wouldn't let it go though, whining and mauling her with hugs. I leaned back against the couch knowingly. It was only a matter of time before she caved, everyone always did when it came to Tyler. There was something about him that you just couldn't help but love. He was just so positive it rubbed off on everyone else and made them want to feel positive. I guess that's one of the reasons I liked him so much, one of the many.
"Fine, Tyler!" Zoe shouted, her annoyance obvious in her voice. Tyler gave her a sloppy peck on the cheek and turned to face the rest of the room again.
"So everyone's playing? He shouted, making sure everyone looked at him. It didn't really sound like a question, more like an order. Was I going to play? The idea of getting shoved into a dark confined space with a stranger when I couldn't see didn't exactly appeal to me, but Tyler definitely seemed into it. I mean, I guess I wouldn't mind getting locked in a closet with him. But with my luck there was no way I'd end up with him. I scanned the room, scoping out the other options. The party wasn't anything big, just a small new year's celebration among youtube friends. Zoe, Alfie, Caspar, Joe, Marcus, Joey, Jim, Tanya, Louis, Louise, Connor, Tyler, and I were the only people here. I guess there were a couple I wouldn't mind getting locked in a closet with, but it'd be awkward considering how much younger I was than them.
They were all circling around a glass coffee table in the middle of the room now, scribbling names down on little scraps of paper. I had to wonder how clear their cursive would be considering how drunk they were, but I wasn't about to ruin their fun. Zoe scrambled back into the room then, holding a piece of pink fabric over her head triumphantly.
"I found the blindfold!" She said, plopping down at the table with the rest of them. I knew I probably should get off the couch and go sit there if I plan to play, but I just can't bring myself to get up. I lazily look around the table, giggling at most of their expressions. At least, until my eyes fell on where Tyler was sitting. He was cackling as usual, but for once it wasn't over nothing in particular. It was thanks to whatever Marcus was whispering in his ear. They both had matching coy smiles that told me whatever it was, was not appropriate to be shared with the whole group. I narrowed my eyes, glaring at them.
"I'm not playing." I announced loudly, looking around the table and daring anyone to argue with me. I was kind of disappointed when they didn't. Well, when Tyler didn't. That was his job, to bug me and try and talk me into stupid situations. I hated this disgusted feeling in my gut, the way I could feel the jealousy rolling off of me in waves. Since when was Marcus Buttface more important to him than I was? I knew I shouldn't be reading into his drunken actions so much, he'd never given this much attention to Marcus while sober. I was always his number one, the person he wanted to spend all of his time with. I'm sure it'd go back to normal tomorrow, when he didn't have alcohol clouding his thinking. At least I hoped so.
"Are you sure, Troye?" Zoe asked, holding up the slip of paper with my name on it. I looked to Tyler, still secretly hoping he'd realize what was going on and beg me to play. He didn't though, he didn't even look away from Marcus once. He was falling all over him now, half on his lap and half off. I turned back to Zoe, blushing when I realized she'd been watching me glare at Tyler. Hell, everyone probably had.
"Yes, I'm certain." I said firmly. She just nodded, turning back to the bowl and drawing the first name. I grabbed my phone, shoving my headphones in to block out the world. I didn't want to see who got drawn. I definitely didn't want to know who got to spend seven minutes in Tyler Oakley heaven, especially if it was Marcus. I leaned back against the couch, not before catching a glimpse of Connor being blindfolded, and forced my eyes shut. I wouldn't look, no matter what I heard over the music.
I was holding pretty true to my promise three songs later, when a loud cackle erupted through the room. I tried to squeeze my eyes shut even tighter at the sound, but it was pointless. It was like a train-wreck, so morbidly mesmerizing I had to look. I opened my eyes, the first thing I see being the whole table beside themselves with laughter. At first I'm not sure why, until I see a flash of movement out of the corner of my eye. I turn my head, my eyes popping out of my head when I seen the scene before me. It was Tyler, stumbling around the room both drunk and blindfolded. They must have left him to find the closet on his own and were laughing at him now. I felt like slapping them for being so cruel. It's not like there was anything I could do though. I started to lay back down, before noticing the empty beer bottles skewn around Tyler's feet. What if he fell on one of those! I jumped up without thinking, making a beeline to where he stood. I snaked an arm around his waist to help him stay steady.
"Drunkard." I grumbled, pretending to be annoyed by having to help him. He knew how much I enjoyed looking after him though, so he just smiled up at me cheekily before letting his head fall against my chest.
"My knight in shining armor." He whispered. I couldn't see his eyes right now, but I knew he'd shut them. I also couldn't ignore the pride swelling inside of me at his words. I was like some sort of puppy that had just received praise from their master. I couldn't help it, it made me feel special, like I had something that set me apart from all of his other flirting buddies.
I didn't reply to him, not certain I'd be able to manage a reply without my admiration seeping into my voice. I had to practically drag him into the closet he was so lazy. I hauled him in, setting him down in the corner. I clumsily detached his arms from my waist, laughing a little bit at how much of a mess he was.
"We're going home after this, okay?" I asked, sounding freakishly similar to a concerned parent... Or a concerned boyfriend.
"Yes, sir!" He said, mock-saluting me and smirking. I snorted at his teasing and reached out, ruffling his hair up playfully before leaving the closet. I closed the doors behind me, turning around to face the room. None of them were looking in my direction, but I knew that I was what they were thinking about. Was it really such a big deal I didn't want my best friend to fall on glass? I ignored them, slumping back to the couch and eagerly fumbling with my headphones. I really didn't want to hear who's name got called now. What if it was Marcus? What would they do in that closet? I squeezed my eyes shut, burying my face into the cushions. I thought I was doing a pretty good job blocking out the rest of the world until I felt a pillow hit my head. What was their problem? Couldn't they tell I just wanted to be left alone right now? I tried to bury my angry feelings, but I couldn't help it when another pillow hit me. I sat up too quick, ripping my headphones out.
"What?" I roared, jumping to my feet and looming over the table. I didn't get angry often, but from what I heard it was terrifying when I did. Except they didn't look terrified. They all had matching sly grins and mischievous eyes. What was going on?
"Shush, you're going to give it away!" Zoe scolded, slapping my knee playfully. I furrowed my brow, trying to read their expressions and find out what they were on about.
"Give what away, Zoe?" I asked, making sure my voice showed just how annoyed and done with her I was. She frowned, obviously not happy I was killing the party's atmosphere.
"That you're the one going into the closet with Tyler Oakley." Alfie said suggestively, wiggling his thick caterpillar eyebrows around. My jaw unhinged, my mouth falling open. They were kidding. Please tell me they were kidding. I wasn't even playing!
I stumbled backward a step, sitting down on the couch so I didn't fall over. I could already feel the sweat on my palms, the nervous zings of adrenaline coursing through my veins. I couldn't do it, what if it messed up Tyler and I's friendship? What if it made it completely obvious how I felt? What if I'm actually a horrible kisser and ended up making a fool of myself? No, I wouldn't do it. I couldn't.
"I'm not playing." I said firmly, laying back down on the couch.
"Troye, you'd have to be an idiot not to notice the way you look at Tyler. We're doing you a favor." My eyes went wide and I scrambled to think of a reasonable response, but Zoe just smiled knowingly and placed a hand on my thigh. "Don't worry, Tyler is an idiot so he's the only one that hasn't noticed."
"Fine, but even so I can't just go in there and suck face with him. It'd make things way too awkward between us."
"That's the point of the blindfold. He doesn't have to know it's you. I don't know where you two stand, but that doesn't matter. You have seven minutes to do whatever you want in there, and it doesn't count." I sat up then, realization dawning on me. She had a point, a very good point. If I pulled this off it could be completely confidential. After all, maybe this was all I needed to get over him. I had seven minutes to do whatever I wanted. Seven minutes to prove he wasn't as great as I made him out to be. Seven minutes to get him out of my system, for good.
Imagine how great that'd be, if we could just have a normal friendship. It'd never been like that between us. I'd been mastering the art of hiding my feelings since the first day I met him, shoving them to the back of my mind and trying to keep them there. It never worked though, it was always only a matter of time before I was blushing or stuttering over my words around him. He never broke a sweat though, skimming through one-liners and sexual jokes with me like it was nothing. It wasn't fair, that he had it so easy when I was left to deal with my spastic heartbeat. Just once, I'd like to see him be the one to clam up around me.
"Tyler's waiting." Zoe whispered, nudging me playfully and bringing me out of my thoughts. I took a deep breath, looking over at the closet doors. The butterflies in my stomach felt like battering rams, thrashing about and making it impossible to ignore them. Was this really happening right now? I got up on shaky legs and started toward the closet, my brain screaming at me to turn around before I had a heart attack. I made it halfway before I felt something hit my hand. I glanced down, my eyes widening when I seen a condom on the floor. The whole table burst into a fit of laughter then, obviously happy with my incredulous reaction. Assholes.
I turned back to the closet, grabbing the door handles. I don't know why it feels like such a big deal now, I'd been in here literally five minutes ago at most. I took a deep breath to steady myself and swung the door open, relieved to see Tyler in exactly the same spot as earlier. He was giggling to himself, fiddling his thumbs nervously. He really was adorable. I slipped into the small room, ignoring the whoops and cheers coming from behind me. I clicked the door shut and stood there, not sure what to do next.
Tyler was still giggling, now mumbling incoherent words. I felt a twinge of guilt and frowned. Was it considered taking advantage of him when he was this drunk? I pushed that thought out of my mind and reminded myself of the reason I came in here to begin with. I was going to kiss him a bit, maybe with tongue, and that'd be it. Hopefully that'd be enough to prove my feelings for him weren't anything more than some childish crush. Hopefully that's all my feelings were, because I really didn't know what I'd do if they were something more serious.
"Great, leave it to me to get stood up in a freaking closet." Tyler mumbled suddenly, sounding extremely pissed off. There was something else there too though, possibly hurt? Aw, poor Tyler got his ego hurt. I watched him reach for his blindfold, tired of waiting, and my eyes went wide. He couldn't see it was me! I fell to my knees, scrambling to where he was and grabbing his hand in both of mine. He tensed up immediately and I could tell he hadn't been expecting that. Even with his eyes covered I could recognize the familiar surprised expression he had. It was a happy kind of surprised though, judging by the huge grin he had on. I smiled back, even though he couldn't see it, happily raking my eyes over all of his beautiful features. I felt warm and bubbly, the smile permanently etched on my features. He always had this effect on me though, making me feel like I was on cloud nine all the time. He was like my own personal high.
"So, we're just going to hold hands for seven minutes?" Tyler asked skeptically, breaking our peaceful silence. I almost giggled before catching myself and forcing my mouth shut. He couldn't know it was me. This didn't feel right though, it wasn't how I'd wanted our first kiss to be. Sure, we'd kissed that time on stage, but that didn't count because we were forced to do it. Similar to how this didn't count because he didn't even know it was me. It was all I had though. I might not ever get the chance to kiss him again, and likely never in the way I wanted to. He just didn't feel the same and never would. I'd came to accept that long ago, but that didn't make me hate it any less.
I started suddenly when he shifted, moving my hands with his. He lifted them to his lips, kissing the back of my hand. I felt a blush creeping across my cheeks, a goofy smile taking over my lips. He looked up with a similar grin, except it had an almost comforting undertone to it. He was encouraging me to make a move. I started panicking slightly, my palms getting sweaty. I let go of his hand, wiping my hands on my jeans. How do people do this? I couldn't even make a move when he was blindfolded!
I watched a smirk invade his face, like he was amused at how shy I was being. Then he was crawling forward without warning, sitting down on my lap. I bit down on my lip, studying his face nervously. What was he planning? He didn't give it away at first, not until he tilted my head back and went for my neck. I squirmed slightly at first, but his lips felt so good sucking on my sensitive skin I couldn't fight it anymore. I let him work away, flicking his tongue and grazing the spot with his teeth, until I was beginning to see stars. I wandered my hands up his back, tangling them in his lilac locks. God, it was soft. I closed my eyes, smiling at the fact he was giving me a love bite. Marking me as his. My eyes flew open suddenly and I shoved him away. He was giving me a love bite! He'd definitely be able to see that once we were out of the closet and then he'd know. He'd know it was me and it'd ruin everything.
"Hey!" He hissed unhappily, struggling against my hands. I glared at him for how disobedient he was being, but it's not like I'd expected anything different from him. He was still fighting me, trying desperately to get his lips back to my neck. After a few more seconds of this he finally dropped his hands, crossing them angrily across his chest. He was pouting like a child that hadn't gotten his way and it made my heart melt.
"Look, I know you're the strong silent type or whatever but a little bit of an explanation would be nice. Did I do something wrong?" He huffed, sounding a bit exasperated. Once again I picked up the hurt undertone though, and it really made me think. Was it possible the Tyler Oakley wasn't as sure of himself as he let on? He had every reason to be, he was freaking amazing in every way imaginable. He was still pouting slightly and I smiled, realizing how to move on from this. I leaned forward, gently brushing my lips against his. He jumped a bit, but as soon as he realized what was going on he snaked his hands up to my jaw and deepened the kiss. I gasped in surprise, not expecting him to be so forward. I regretted that immediately though, because he took the chance to slip his tongue into my mouth. The kiss was quick paced, but definitely not sloppy. He really knew what he was doing, it was all I could do to keep up to him. I still had my hands tangled up in his hair, twirling stray strands around my fingers distractedly. I was finally starting to get the hang of kissing him, when he decided to throw me off balance again by grinding down against my lap. I moaned against his mouth, glad it muffled the sound enough to make my voice unrecognizable. He still heard it though, his body tensed up against mine and I froze, feeling his erection rub up against my stomach.
"Sorry." He mumbled sheepishly, running his hand through his hair. I glanced down, staring at the tent in his pants in disbelief. I'd done that? I wonder if it would have happened if he actually knew who I was. That thought makes my heart feel heavy and I frown. Why couldn't this be real?
I look up, my lips immediately engulfed in another sweet kiss. It didn't feel the same now though, the heavy dark cloud of reality hanging over me. This meant absolutely nothing to him. He was drunk and horny and seeking out the nearest slut that'd help him out. It wasn't anything like that for me. I wasn't thinking with my dick, I was thinking with my heart. It was nearly as stupid though, considering I'd only end up getting hurt this way. I'd been so wrong about this. Kissing him had just made me want him a thousand times more, rubbed everything I wanted in my face.
I shoved him off abruptly, watching him fall on his ass with a thump. He looked totally confused, but I couldn't explain. I couldn't even speak right now. I scrambled across the small space, to the opposing corner. He was smiling awkwardly, looking around the room blind.
"Where'd you go? Things were just starting to get exciting." I recognize his familiar flirty tone, but it isn't the same. I stay totally silent, silently loathing myself for ever agreeing to this. It'd be even worse now, when he flirted with me. I knew what it was like to have him, to feel his lips on mine, to hear his raspy aroused voice. I could never go back the way we had been. I hadn't exactly been happy, but I hadn't been sad either. I was stuck in the middle. I could have clung to my false hope forever, if it weren't for tonight. That wasn't going to cut it anymore, I needed to know. I needed to know exactly where I stood with him and if I was just wasting my time. I needed to hear him say it.
I looked up with full intentions to strike up a conversation with him, until I seen the state he was in. His knees were pulled to his chest and he had his face buried in them. I studied closely, noticing the way his shoulders were trembling slightly. Was he crying? Tyler never cried, ever. The only tears I'd ever even heard tell of him crying were tears of happiness. He was so strong, he was my idol for that. He'd faced so much hate and it had never got to him. Nothing got to him. So why was he crying? I started to crawl toward him again, every instinct I had screaming at me to hold him and make him stop crying. I made it halfway before a loud noise came from my right and the closet doors swung open. The harsh light temporarily blinded me, but once my eyes adjusted I glared up at Zoe.
"That's it? You guys have all of your clothes on? Wow, Tyler, I really expected more from the queen of thirst herself." She said skeptically, eyeing me suspiciously. I shook my head rapidly, jumping to my feet and making a run for the couch. I jumped onto it, scrambling into my previous position so Tyler wouldn't get suspicious. Crying or not, he still couldn't know it'd been me in there.
"Tyler? Are you crying?" I felt my heart constrict at Zoe's question. Well, that wipes away any doubt I'd had. Tyler Oakley was crying. I had my headphones in again, but I wasn't playing any music. I had to hear what they were saying.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't want to talk about it!" Tyler shouted suddenly, his voice a lot more sober than it'd been just a couple minutes ago. Not even two seconds later he was shaking my shoulder roughly with one hand, using the other to wipe his tears on his sleeve.
"I want to go home now." He said flatly, turning toward the door before I could even get out an answer. I hopped up, hurrying to gather up all of the stuff we'd brought. I could feel everyone's eyes on me, silently questioning what was going on, but I couldn't give them an answer. Maybe it was just a drunken mood swing on Tyler's behalf, but that didn't get rid of my overwhelming need to make him feel better any. It was all my fault. I'd done something wrong to make him like this.
It didn't take long at all for me to start jogging to the front door after him. I was just jostling the knob in my hand when I felt someone tap me on the back. Damn it, I was so close to getting out of here unnoticed. I turned around slowly, knowing very well who I was about to see. Zoe looked utterly lived, her big blue eyes bright with anger.
"What the hell happened in there, Troye?" She shouted, moving even closer to me. I backed up against the door nervously, biting my lip. It was obvious she blamed me, that made sense considering I wasn't the one crying. But I didn't even know what I'd done yet and she was only making me feel worse. Besides, it wouldn't have happened at all if she hadn't forced me to go in there. It could have went normally. Marcus could have gone in the closet, they could have done who knows what, and we wouldn't be in this situation. Even thinking that made my blood run cold, the idea of Tyler with Marcus. Either way, this was her fault too.
"Huh, Troye? What did you try to do to him?" She yelled, getting right in my face. Realization dawned on me then and my cheeks turned a hot pink. She thought I'd upset him by being too sexual! After the initial embarrassment though, I realized just how harsh her words had been. She genuinely believed I'd do something like that to my best friend? Wow, good to know everyone knew me so well.
"Sorry, Zoe, but isn't one of the game rules not to say what goes on in inside the closet?" She widened her eyes even more and started to scold me, but I was already gone. I slipped out the door, running across the parking lot to the car Tyler and I had rented. It was sort of funny how we shared everything when we traveled together. We never even planned it ahead of time, it's just always how it worked out. Just like how we always shared rooms together. We always said it was so save money, but really I think it was because we couldn't bare to be separated again after being apart so long. Whenever we were in the same city we were attached at the hip, because we always wanted to make the most of our time together. I frowned, sinking my face into my hands for a moment. I'd messed it up, hadn't I? He might not know it was me in the closet, but I did. It'd eat away at me for the rest of my life if I didn't tell him. It could wait until tomorrow though, when he wasn't so drunk and so grumpy.
I slipped into the driver's seat, looking over at him expectantly. He had his snapback pulled down over his face, an obvious sign he didn't feel like talking. I knew better than to argue and quickly began searching for the keys. After nearly a minute of this Tyler let out a long sigh.
"They're in the ignition. Good job almost getting the car stolen, twink." He sounded extremely overtired, but a lot more approachable than he'd been inside. I liked to think it was just because it was us alone, but it was probably because he'd had some time to cool down. I checked the ignition in disbelief, groaning inwardly when I seen he'd been telling the truth. I was such an idiot sometimes. I started the car then, eager to get the sleepy Tyler home.
A/n: Okay, I did not mean for this to get so long so apologies for that. I ended up splitting it into two parts because otherwise it would have been crazy long. The next part (sMUT) will be up in an hour, kay? Please comment/vote!