Chapter Six; Is It Love?
We both smiled at each other “ well I better get in there before my mum calls the police wondering where I am” I said smiling, Alex lent in to kiss me, I pulled back “ no Alex. Please don’t do this to me.” I said closing my eyes and shaking my head, “what, why I thought this is what you want?” Alex said looking hurt and confused “no not like this, not now, not here! You have a girlfriend Alex!” I said angry all my emotions were going insane, I didn’t know what to do or think. “I want you Jess, not Michelle, you’re better than her” he said trying to convince me “ It’s not about who’s better or who will get hurt the most” I said looking him straight in the eyes “ it’s about who you truly care about. Can’t you see? That’s what having a girlfriend or boyfriend is about, someone you love and care about. You don’t know me enough to look me in the eyes and say you love me Alex. Do you? I said sounding more calm “Look and me and Michelle are done, I can start to care for you, I can start to love you. All I know is I really like you, it’s like I’m being drawn to you. You’ve been in my head for the past few days and I can’t get you out. It’s like something’s telling me I went wrong all those years ago and I should of chose you. I like you a lot Jess” Alex said, I couldn’t take all this in, I had to get out. Now, I opened the door and got out and started walking up the driveway. Alex got out and tried to follow me “Jess don’t do this” I heard him say, but I ignored it and his voice got quieter and quieter as I walked further and further towards my house I opened the door and closed it behind me and locked it. I ran straight to my room with tears in my eyes and jumped on my bed flat and cried into my pillow, I couldn’t believe what Alex had just told me. I cried for hours and hours, I eventually fell asleep. I woke up the next morning; it was Sunday so I didn’t have school which meant I didn’t have to face Alex. I got up out of bed and checked my phone; I had 4 missed calls and 2 unread text messages, all coincidently from Alex. I got dressed for the day in Black skinnies a navy blue hoodie, and black converse’s. I couldn’t build up the courage to call Alex, to hear his voice so I just texted him instead, “Alex I’m sorry for running out like that, it was all too much to take in, I know what you said was hard for you to say and I’m thankful for you telling me what was on your mind. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’m really sorry for last night.” I hit send and went down stairs and ate breakfast, after I ate breakfast I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket, it was Alex. I pulled out my phone and began to read it; the message said “I broke up with Michelle today, just to show you how much I’m willing to sacrifice for you. I want you to know you mean so much to me, and it’s weird because I barely know you but another part of me feels like I’ve known you forever. Jess don’t be sorry, I shouldn’t have dumped it on you like that. I’m the one who should be sorry, not you. X Alex” I didn’t know what to feel or what to do at this point. I loved Alex so much but I wasn’t sure if the love bit was just the crush part I’ve always had for him or actual true love.