Chapter Twenty: Until You Fall Asleep
I get halfway down the driveway before his hand clasps around the top of my arm, forcing me to stop.
I could easily rip my hand from his grip but I don't.
"Rosie, baby girl, I'm not going to hurt you." He puts his hand over his heart. "I promise."
"I'm not ready. I'm not. I can't, I don't want to."
"Nobody is asking you to do anything." He promises. "Come on." He nudges me towards the front door and I find myself walking back through it. I throw my keys on the coffee table and he guides me back to the bedroom. "You can leave my shirt on, baby girl."
"Why did you want me to take it off?" I ask shakily.
He looks down, fiddling with his hand.
"I took a massage class...back in Spokane, because I found through my research about gymnastics that gymnasts are usually sore, and I know how that feels from when I played football. I saw you rolling your shoulders in the kitchen and I was going to give you a massage. I'm sorry baby girl. I didn't mean to push you out of your comfort zone."
He has done research to learn about my sport. He took a class to help me.
He moved across the country to be with me.
Without another word, I turn my back to him and pull his shirt over my head. I crawl into the bed and drop down on my stomach in the middle.
I feel the bed sink down with his weight.
"If it hurts, you have to tell me, okay?"
"Okay." I mumble.
He rubs lotion all over my back and I feel him pull down my spandex a little bit.
"I'm not taking them off." He says when I tense up. "I promise. Just relax, baby girl. I'm not Lucas, I'm Alexander."
His voice is so smooth and gentle. His hands are so warm.
"Zane." I murmur. "Every time I'm not in gymnastics, I think about dropping out."
His hands falter on my sink for a moment.
"Why?" He starts rolling out a knot on my lower back and I allow my eyes to slide shut.
"Because I missed you so much. I've missed everything, even how mad you make me when you hit on me in front of students."
"Why didn't you call me?" He wonders, his hands skating up to my neck. I feel him brush my hair aside. "I couldn't. I didn't want to hold you back. I didn't want to be selfish. You're the whole package, Zane, and I was certain you were in love."
"I am in love." He murmurs. "With you." His hands rub the sore spots on my shoulders. "Besides, I couldn't get a girlfriend anyways."
"Why?"
"Because nobody wants to be with a twenty six year old that has sole custody of a nine year old girl."
I swear I almost moan when he rubs one of my really tense spots. It feels so good.
"I love Alice." I say. "And I don't care if you have custody of her."
"Alice misses you. She really wants to go to the gym to watch you practice."
"She can come." I say. "Mrs. Bennett doesn't care."
"Can we come tomorrow?"
"Sure." I nod. "Zane, you need to understand that I don't have much time for a relationship. I'm in the gym from nine in the morning to nine at night if I'm not working. I only have Sunday's off and I get a break every four hours. I have a full routine that I can't break."
"I know that." He says. "I know what I'm getting myself into."
"Alright." I murmur.
"I would like to take you on a date on Sunday." He says. "If that's okay with you."
"Okay." I mumble. "I love you." I whisper.
His hands pause again, and then, "I love you too baby girl."
For once in a long time, I feel like everything is going to be okay. He's here. He moved across the country for me.
"You left Colton." I mumble.
"No I didn't."
"What?" I ask.
"Colton came with me."
"Colton moved with you?" I ask slowly.
"Of course he did. Just like Vanessa came with you."
"Oh..." I trail off.
His hands are running up and down my body
"Today has been a hard day for me." He admits.
"Why?" I ask.
His hands pause slightly, and then he whispers, "It's my Mom's birthday. I miss her so much, Rosie."
"I'm so sorry." I whisper. He keeps rubbing out knots.
"My Dad called me this morning and asked me if he could come visit for Forth of July. I guess it took him losing Alice to realize what was wrong, and he divorced Alicia. I don't know if I can. After everything he put me through...after everything he put Mom through...after everything he put Alice through...Alice is okay with him coming, but I don't know. I don't want him to come here and stomp on my happiness."
"Baby, you're Alice's guardian. She's nine years old. She doesn't know any better. You know what's best for her. If you don't want him here, tell Alice he's not coming. Legally you're her father."
He's quiet for a long time, and I shift slightly to look at him.
"Can I tell you something? You can't tell anybody."
"Of course." I say.
"My dad wants partial custody."
My heart twists for him.
"Why?"
"He's better now, I guess. He told me he knows he messed up. He wants partial custody. He wants Alice every summer."
"That's absurd. He wants to take a little girl away from her friends every single summer?"
"Yes, and I'm thinking about letting him."
"Why?" I ask.
"She wants to do gymnastics so badly, especially knowing you're training for the Olympics. She talks about you all the time. She looks up to you. She deserves to live her dream, and I can't afford to give it to her. I've done thorough research and calculating. I even had an accountant check my money to see if I could swing it. Leotards are too expensive and lessons are like, twenty dollars each time you go. Gosh, why am I tell you this? You already know all of this."
"I can get you a discount." I say. "As for the leotards, she can wear my old ones and when she has competitions you can buy them. I bet I can get you discounts for those, too."
"I can't accept that." He says.
"Come on." I say. "If she gets serious about it and I win the Olympics, I'll train her myself. Can you afford like, a hundred and eighty a month?"
His hands pause on my shoulders.
"I...yeah."
"You should talk your Dad into paying for her competition leotards." I say, sighing when I feel him rolling out a bad knot in my back.
"What about when she goes to gymnastics just to practice?"
"She can raid my closet."
"So you would get a discount and give her your leotards? No, I'm not comfortable with that."
"I want to do it for Alice and for you. You told me I deserve the world, but you know what? So do you, and so does Alice. She wants gymnastics, and I can give it to her."
"I don't know..."
"Please?" I ask.
"Let's see how she is tomorrow watching you practice." He pulls his hands off of my back. "How do you feel?"
I sit up and cover my chest with my hands.
"Better, so much better." I get out of bed and turn away from him, pulling my tank top over my head. He stands up. "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
I slip out of the bedroom and put my sweatpants back on, and then I walk back into the bedroom and plop down on the bed. He shuts off my ceiling light and turns on the lamp on my side table.
I yawn loudly and he smiles.
"You are so adorable." He murmurs, climbing into bed with me.
He lays down on the right side.
I have never cuddled with a man before. When I was with Lucas, he would just make out with me and try to get me to do stuff.
I roll on my right side and prop my head up with my arm, studying him. He rolls on his left side and mirrors my position.
"I feel like this is a dream." I admit softly. "Because I was certain you moved on."
He frowns, reaching out to brush an eyelash off of my cheek.
"It's not a dream." He murmurs. I promise."
I think of how badly I've wanted to kiss him and hold his hand, and now I can because he's here. I reach out and push a dark curl from his eyes.
"You're so handsome." I whisper. He smiles.
"You're so beautiful."
"Are you sleeping over?" I ask.
Please say yes!
"I can't." He whispers. "I promised Alice I would take her to the new house tonight."
"Okay." I try to hide the disappointment in my voice.
"You'll see me tomorrow." He whispers. "I promise, baby girl."
I scoot closer to him. He rolls onto his back and puts his arm out, and I rest my head in the crook off his arm. My right hand rests on his bare stomach.
"When are you going to leave?" I mumble, throwing my right leg over both of his. I'm on my side and I can smell his alluring skin. He's so warm.
"When do you want me to leave?"
"I don't want you to leave."
He chuckles quietly and I can feel his chest vibrate beneath my head.
"How about I stay until you fall asleep?" He whispers.
"Okay." I respond weakly. I reach over to grip is side, pulling him closer to me. I feel him rubbing my back through my tank top.
I can feel his chest rising. I can hear every bit of air entering his lugs, and every bit leaving. I can hear his heart beating steadily against his chest.
"You promise that I will see you tomorrow?"
"I promise, Rosie. I'll be there as soon as I can."
"Okay." I mumble weakly.
"I love you." He says softly.
I'm already so tired from the working out I did today.
"I love you, too." I whisper. He keeps rubbing my back slowly, slipping his hand under my tank top. His thumb brushes against my skin and I sigh contentedly. His touch leaves a trail of heat in it's wake, and I fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat and his lungs filling and emptying.
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I'm so emotionally unstable I cried for no reason what is wrong with me
Vote and comment and if you cried tell me so I don't feel so insane lmao
~Sam