Do I want to move?
Yes?
No?
Maybe?
Ughh, I'm too tedious right now to even come up with a decision. More lazy. It's a no to moving. What time is it anyway?
Knock Knock Knock
"Who is it?" I ask. My body feels faded and tedious. They never heard me.
I sloppily climb off my bed and slouch over to the door. I rose my hand slowly from tediousness and opened the door. Chance is standing outside my door in the hall. My eyes widen and I stiffed straight.
"Chance?" I examine him by a glance.
He's wearing a backpack over one shoulder, a crimson plaid short sleeve shirt - showing his nice biceps - and black jeans. He never had a watch on this time. Still, his hair looked fine, very fine. Makes me want to fiddle with it and slowly run my fingers in it. Sniff it like fresh air. I like brown haired guys with blue eyes. I even like blond haired guys with green eyes. I'm weird like that. I have many type of guys for me but if you have brown hair and blue eyes or just brown or blue eyes, I'm going to be attractive to you right away.
"Hey, Tomster How you feeling?" he asks with a friendly smile. His voice is just so ecstatic to my ears. Very sexy. But I can't like him, even though I do. Ugh!
"Tired," I reply tiresomely. "What are you doing here?" I ask.
"I said I'll be your guide," he repeats from yesterday. I thought that was a one-time thing. Only for yesterday when he gave a tour around the huge dorm. "You better ready. School starts today," he adds.
"OK," I say. "Give me a minute."
I completely forgot that school starts today. When I'm tired, I literally forget what's important, occasionally.
I close the door and went over to my drawer. I pull out a pair of boxer briefs and fresh clean clothes from my closet. I lay the clothes on the bed and explore my hands in my bag for my toothbrush. I was going to shower in the bathroom outside the rooms but I realized we get small bathrooms in our rooms. I shower quickly after brushing my teeth clean; like who wants stanky breath and green bean teeth. Not me. When I was finished, I dry off and got dressed in my clothes
I grab my backpack and haul it over both shoulders. I lace up my shoes and ready to go. Before I open the door, I think to myself. Would Chance like my clothes? A striped plaid shirt with a sweater shirt over it and tinted blue jeans? I hope so.
I open the door. "I'm ready now," I say, smiling with my teeth.
"Took you long, let’s go," he says.
I lock the door and follow Chance to the mini cafeteria where they serve breakfast for any students that need - and we do need it. Breakfast is a source of energy that helps us get through a full day of school, or in an adults case, work. Chance and I both order cereal. Guess what? It's free! Best news ever. They serve free breakfast here. I'm loving this so far.
Chance sits across from me eating his Cinnamon Toast cereal while I eat the oh so delicious Froot Loops. You can never go wrong with Froot Loops. They taste amazing. I love them. Yet, I couldn't stop gazing at him. Gazing at his complexion, a sexy appearance. Luckily he doesn't notice me gazing at him.
He looks up at me and I quickly bow my head to my cereal. I feel embarrassed but I don't think he notices. "Do you think you'll have a good first day?" he asks.
"I might. I always do when I moved for Grade 9, 10 and 11," I answer clearly and then look at him.
"You moved that much?" he questions. He seems surprised.
"Yeah, I moved even more when I was younger," I say. "My family had money troubles," I add.
"Wow," he says. "Then you must've of been Tori's best friend that I over hear her saying moved a lot."
"Yup. That's me," I say.
"Don't worry about your first day. I bet you'll get lots of friends soon enough. Especially since you're my friend," says Chance.
I feel all warm and fuzzy inside just hearing him saying we're friends. And so quickly too. He's my first friend here - besides Tori. I'm making great progress; wonder if I'll be more than a friend. No! I got to stop thinking like that, it'll never happen.
After we finish our breakfast we leave for school. We walk across the street to school. We arrive in the office to receive our schedules for both semesters. Three classes in the morning and two after lunch. For second semester, two classes before and after lunch. This school system is really different than the other high schools I went to.
"Science, English and Math. We have three classes together. That's great," I feel his breath as he glances over my shoulder. It is warm, but quite nice. Makes my hair bristle for some reason. Now, the three classes we have together are second, third and last period. In that order of what he said. Sweet.
This is just a random thought but nothing will happen between us. I wish something would happen. He could call me his guy and I call him my man. It'll be so cute. But it won't happen. I hope this doesn't turn into a full crush, not even a crush. It'll be pointless.
"That's cool," I say.
First bell rings and they announce that we have 3 minutes to get to class or we're late. Chance escorts me to my first class; History.
No orientation, like getting to know each other. Just straight away to taking notes. Ughhh! Really? Well, this is grade 12, I don't think we go around learning about each other. It would be nice to get to know my classmates names and know them. Oh well, time to focus. But notes are boring to write down. Even though they help with the preparation of unit tests, which are stressful. Exams are even more stressful to begin with.
World War I. Learning about the Canadians, Americans, British Empire, Soviet Union, et cetera. I will say that History is a pretty intriguing subject. You learn about the past that could have changed your future in a drastic way. Makes me feel like traveling back in the past to serve as a soldier. Sounds cool shooting rifles, duck and cover. Nothing like Call Of Duty. Every FPS is better than Call Of Duty. But I will admit, I played COD before.
I will admit another factual fact, I really don't like COD, and it feels boring after a couple hours. It's stupid. And it's repetitive nature lacks any true skill. And just because I'm gay, doesn't mean I don't like first person shooters, and games in general.
Some people are just gayist. That's my way of saying they’re stereotypical about gays. Don't judge gays in general because of a few you have witnessed. There can be masculine gays stronger than straight men. A masculine gay guy can be the straightest gay ever while a straight guy can be the gayest straight ever.
Back on topic now. No more sidetracking in thoughts. I always get lost in my mind, conjuring up things I wouldn't normally think about or about how arrogant straight people can be. Only some of them are.
I'm a thinker. That's what I do.
Bell Rings
Now I need to find my Science class. Wherever the heck that is.
I stroll out of class as soon as the bell rang. I'm going exploring in this rain forest. Glaring at my schedule, I accidentally bump into someone.
"Sorry, it's-"
"Hey, Tomster. Good, I found you," I raise my head up to notice Chance standing in front of me. It is his voice who cuts me off. "Lets head to Science," he says as he patts me on the back.
-
Last class of the day. Thank God. Finally. I was mostly distracted, stuck in a trance, by Chance in Science and English. His soft looking flawless skin, no zits, pimples, and acne. Clean. Skin perfection. His eyes, his blue mesmerizing, trance eyes. They feel so passionate and caring when I look into them.
I wander off into a new undiscovered world, created by magical water flows, all across the earth. It slowly splashes on me, making me feel relaxed. I would run my fingers through that brown hair of his, bringing myself closer to sniff the roaming smell of his sweet hair. To me, he's perfect in his own way.
Once again, Chance sits next to me.
Now time to get some Math implanted in my brain by learning. I hate math. Mostly because I literally suck suck balls at it. I almost failed it in grade 11. Math is so not my strongest subject but everything else is. Kind of. At least I passed my courses in grade 11. I wouldn't want Summer School. Again.
You know, I probably might fail Math. Chance will be distracting me with his flawless, good-looking charm.
"OK class, just copy the lesson on the black board down in to your notebooks. I'll assign you textbooks to you later," Mrs. Mallock instructs us. I've realized they don't take attendance. How are they supposed to know who's here and whose not? Weird school with a weird school system.
Halfway into class and I gotta admit, this lesson is long to copy. Somehow Chance finished it early and is now working on the homework. He's flying through them like it's nothing. This guy a smart. A smart hunk. That's a guy I want but I'm never going to be with him. Once again, he's straight and I'm gay. It'll never, in a million years work out.
I finally finish the note taking and my teacher hands me the homework. Four freaking pages. Bitch of a teacher. Some first day this is. I stare at my lesson and my homework sheets. My mind clutters all these Math equations I see on the pages. I'm starting to get a headache.
I Hate Math!
I lean on my desk, resting my chin on my palm. I loosely hold my pencil, tapping the end of it on the desk.
Tick Tock
Time goes slow. Feels like it never moves faster than you want. Father Time takes his sweet time doing things. It's like he's too busy banging Mother Nature. They'll probably have a daughter after their intercourse. Wonder what she'll be named.
If Father Time bangs Mother Nature, is that why girls have periods? I feel uncomfortable if I ask a girl why they have periods. They might not know. Or he could be taking care of Cupid, his Son Of Love.
I believe Father Time, Mother Nature, and Cupid are a family. Cupid is the baby son with wisdom of Love beyond our mental capabilities on what Love actually is. He acknowledges the True Feelings of two individuals. He knows what True Love is, that many, of a few people know.
Typical guys just bang women and get money. They could become male hoes. Why do think guys think that it makes you cool 'cause you get laid a lot? To be honest, it's pathetic. I don't want a guy like that.
A guy should Love someone not just bang them for the pleasure or coolness. They should be faithful, loyal and honest when in a relationship. Guys have to know if they Truly Love someone before saying it. If they tell someone they Love them, they should honour it.
I don't want a man whore as a boyfriend. No, just no. Chance, he is the one I want as a boyfriend.
"Do you get it?" Chance asks, looking at me.
I turn my head to him feeling emotionless outside. "No," I say. I fix my face expression. "Do you?" Like I don't know the answer.
"I can help you if you want," he offers to me.
"That'll be nice," I say with a smile.
He runs through the lesson with me, trying to explain it slowly and clearly for me to understand the concept. I grimaced through it all, not having a single clue on what was happening. I felt so lost as if I lost in a rain forest, or even worse, lost in a mall. I really suck balls at Math. I never understand it. Even Chance explaining it to me slowly, I didn't pick up a single hint. I could be the dumbest person ever when it comes to Math.
Bell Rings
We shuffle through our sheets and packaged them into our bags.
As I walk back to the dorm alone, I think to myself. Tori was never in any of my classes. Lunch was interesting though. Tori and I ate outside near a tree. Peaceful until we were interrupted by Chance. Tori wasn't lying when she didn't like Chance. She 'really' didn't like Chance.
When Chance left, I asked her why she didn't like him. Her only and obvious response was, 'I don't like him.' Not an answer I was looking for. She's hiding something from me that close best friends shouldn't do. I need to find out.
I do gotta admit, I did like gazing at Chance's flawless perfection. Looking deep in his glistening tinted blue eyes was splendid. But of course, I didn't make it obvious. I ain't 'that' stupid. till, Chance is so cute and smart. It's rare to discover a cute, smart guy. No offense to nerds, but I don't find them attractive. Sorry nerds. I would become their friend, they are jokes, well the ones I know are.
I get back to my room and collapse on my bed along with my bag. What a first day this was. I hope it gets better when I'm further in to school.
-
Two months in and Halloween has past.
I realized Chance is a jock. He signed up for the basketball team, football team, baseball team, archery team, hockey team, soccer team and cross country team. He made it through all of them. Tori told me he's a jock of the school. He's extremely popular. Everyone knows him. Even when I hang out with him, I'm not noticed. I'm invisible to other around him.
Well, he is a jock and I'm average, normal teenager. It's pretty understandable.
Tori hanged out with me a lot. She and Chance were my only friends so far. I still haven't really made any new friends yet. I'm socially awkward at times. Sometimes I'm shy and a terrible conversationalist, other times I'm outgoing.
And no boyfriend yet. I should just give up. I'm never going to stumble upon one. Might as well wait till after school is over with and I step into reality.
High school is just a fantasy. When it's over, you're in the real world, the reality, real life.
Knock knock knock
Who could that be?
I climb off my bed and strolled towards the door. slowly brushed the door open to reveal Tori standing in the hall.
"Tori?" I say, confused much.
"Hey, Tom Tom," she speaks with a upbeat tone. "Now let me in," she demands.
I greet her in. "Nice to meet you too, Tori. How was your day? Oh, good? Mine too," I huff then slam the door lightly. She sits on the edge of my bed with her legs crossed.
She glares at me. "Do you still like Chance?" she asks.
I fiddled with my fingers before answering. "No." Never thought she would bring that up again. And my crush on Chance still lingers around.
"You're lying. I can see it in your eyes. You make it too damn obvious," she says. I struggle to avoid her glaring eyes. "Stop trying, Tommy."
Man, I can't tell her that I still have a crush on him. She doesn't like him and I know she wouldn't approve of this. Plus, I'll never be with him.
Still, why do I try?
"Get over him already, Tommeron. It's never going to happen," she tells me, making it very clear with a strong voice in her.
"I know, stop reminding me," I say.
Knock knock knock
"Are you even expecting anyone?" she asks as she leans back, resting on her hands.
I open it. And it's wonderful Chance McClain outside my door. How unexpected, but joyful to me.
He walks in with his hands in his pockets.
"What are you doing here, Chance?" she asks unpleasantly. "Leave. Now!" she demands him.
I mean, how can you not like your brother for so long? What did he do anyways?
"Relax, Tori. I'm just here to ask Tomster something," he says, smiling.
I become all frozen up inside. Is he going to ask me out? My limbs stiffing with a feeling of being anxious. This question he's about to ask me can be anything imaginable. But what crossed my mind the most was him asking me out. I may want that to happen, but I shouldn't get my hopes up.
He turns to me. "Would you like to come with me to a party, Tomster?" he asks me.
"Bullshit!" Tori yells, standing up and stomping her foot down. "I was going to ask him to that."
"We can go together as a trio," I suggest, fidgeting with my fingers.
"That'll be fun," Chance agrees. He turns to Tori. "Is that fine with you?"
I look at Tori with pleading eyes, hoping she'll accept my suggestion. I really want her to.
She crosses her arms over her chest, turning her head to avoid his eyes and said the answer I loved to hear, "fine".
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow night. We have no classes tomorrow and I'll be busy mostly all morning and afternoon," he tells me. He comes closer to pat me on the back. "Catch you later, Tomster," his last words were. He rubs my head before leaving.
"God, I hate him," she says, rolling her eyes.
"Why?" I ask. "I thought you didn't like him?" I am confused.
Tori just has these moments where she doesn't make sense most of the time. She says things and forgets others she said before. Like now. Say one thing, forget another - in simpler terms.
"I lied," she says, looking away from me.
And Tori lies. Occasionally. Usually, only when it's the right time to lie to another.
"Why? Tell me," I beg. My curiosity about their past intrigues me.
"I'll tell you when it's time," her lips respond with.
And when she doesn't want to explain something to me. She always comes up with an excuse to tell me later; I feel sick, I'm about to vomit, I'll tell you later. When its time, and it's not time just yet. Wait dawg, hold your turn.
I open my mouth but she quickly comes up to me and closes it. She traces back to the door and she opens it leaving my room. She comes back to close it shut.
I walk over and caper myself on my bed. I lay on my side resting the side of my face on my hand.
I was actually hoping for Chance to ask me out. Then I came back to reality. A fantasy reality. He doesn't like me and never will. Only as a friend.
Tori fully hates him and I don't even know why. Is she ever going to tell me? She usually doesn't. But she made a promise to tel me till its time.
When will it ever be time? Father Time seems to take his long ass damn time with everything. Mostly banging Mother Nature.
With time comes..... I actually don't know the rest of the saying. Fail. But I actually can't wait for the party tomorrow. It'll actually be my first high school party. This will be fun, especially with Chance McClain, high school jock and heartthrob. My love interest.