How did I get here?

Chapter 3

I️ don't even get both feet in the door before Tyler starts to aggressively kiss me. He backed me against the wall and trailed kisses down my neck. All I can think about in this moment is when Maxon and I were kissing in his room and he had me against his wall of pictures.  This is honestly like a never ending cycle of torture! His kisses continued and eventually they started to get softer until he stopped, and I sighed in relief.
"Now go get ready for the dinner," he says.
I silently nod my head and go to the closet in our room.
"Also, America, remember the red dress," he calls to me from the other room.
"I'm going to wear my blue one," I say. The blue dress is so much more my style and personality, but also it's modest.
"I said to wear the red one," he says slightly raising his voice.
I try to think and for the first time since we got married, I decided to try out a little manipulation. I walk out of the room and look him in the eye so I know I've captured his attention. I gently walk over to him and push my body close to his and run my hands down his arms, then I kiss him. I hate kissing him but if this gets me a different dress, it will all be worth it.
I slightly break away from the kiss and say "why a handsome man like yourself would look best with a women in blue on your arm. The envy of your co-workers would be so intense as they took in how well you scored in the wife department."
Before he can answer, I seal what I said with a kiss.
"Go put on the blue dress," is all he says and I walk away blowing a kiss to him as I go. 
I'm giddy when I get to my closet and pull out my blue dress instead of the trashy red one. I pull the dress on and for the first time in years I feel beautiful. I smile at myself in the mirror then I hurry on my way to finish getting ready. I put on long diamond earrings and a diamond necklace. I run my hand over the necklace and admire its beauty. I then but my hair in a curled up do and then I start with my make up. I finish my make up and it's light, how I like it. Tyler takes one look at me and he puts his hand to his head.
"More make up you don't look good enough to be my wife yet!"
I wanted to say something snappy back but I didn't want to push my luck after he let me wear the blue dress so I nodded and applied more makeup. I put on a dark red lipstick that matches my hair and put on loads of mascara to make my eyelashes as thick as possible. 
I then look myself up and down in the mirror and I frown. I look so fake! I look like a Barbie doll! This is not me, this is not who I am. Tyler walks past in his suit with his hair slicked back and he gives me a nod of approval and I give him a small smile. Then I feel myself start to break down because at this moment is when I realized my life isn't mine anymore! I have zero control of my future and zero control of who I am or who I want to be. I move into a different room and start to cry, which seems like something I do a lot of lately. I'm a stupid girl! Maxon wanted me and now he never wants to see me again! I have do idea what's going to happen when and if I show up at the palace. The good news is I bought water prof mascara for this very reason, because I spend half of my life crying. 
"We need to leave soon," I hear Tyler say from our bedroom.
"Okay," is the only word I can manage to get out.
I stand up and take a look at my self in the mirror and try to put a smile on my face like I always do. Maxon was wrong about one thing, I was definitely not perfect, and I was wrong I certainly wasn't born perfect.  I take a deep breath slip on my heels and straighten out my dress and decide that I'm ready for whatever tonight throws at me. And with that Tyler and I get in the car to drive to the dinner.