The new year didn't necessarily mean a new me. I didn't really have a resolution because they never worked out (admit it). If I had one, it would probably be to try and pull Ryan out of this haze he seemed to be in. He didn't listen, repeated everything four times over and got angry at me for really bad reasons. I started to worry (like I always did) and went home and learned a something for him every night so he could look forward to something from me. Remind him I was there (for him or otherwise).
Ryan had gotten a job, too, so that kind of scrunched up our time. He worked in the morning and joined us for lunch and the second half of school (where I had two classes with him but still). We had a new class we were all transferred to for the new semester ('all' meaning Patrick, Spencer, Ryan and me (some of the goons were there, too (ugh))). The class was world history or something and I sat between Ryan (yay) and Gerard (ugh). Mikey was in the class, too, because it was an advanced class and he had skipped a few grades and was going to be graduating with all the seniors (and he was only fifteen (unbelievable)).
The whole Ryan working thing made tutoring sessions with Dallon both easier and harder for the same reason. Time. Sometimes Ryan would have lunch at work, sometimes at school. Easier, harder.
I was having fun learning ukulele. I was for some reason having a lot of trouble learning it, but Dallon was a really good teacher. He was really cheery (and kinda loud) for a while, but one day, his entire mood changed. I noticed it as soon as I walked into the classroom; the whole energy was different.
He was staring at the cup of pencils on his desk either sadly or angrily. I couldn't tell.
I dragged a chair over to his desk loudly.
He blinked at the cup.
I dropped (practically threw) my bag on the chair in front of the desk to get his attention.
He didn't look up.
I got my ukulele out of my bag and played the song we had been working on as loud as I could.
He sighed at the pencils.
I put my ukulele back and picked my bag up, pulling only one strap onto my shoulder. "I guess you're busy," I mumbled, walking away. "I'll come back another time."
"Wait," Dallon said as I was about to walk out.
I stopped and turned to him. "Yes?" I asked.
He looked at me slowly and gave me a weak (and obviously fake) smile. "Come sit down," he said, gesturing to the chair. "I'm just having a bit of an off day."
I sat down warily and got my ukulele out. "An off day?" I asked. "How so? What can I do for you?"
"Nothing," he said, sounding tired. "You being here makes everything better already." He smiled at me again and it was a bit closer to being real.
"Ok," I said. "Oh! I think I finally got a name for my ukulele."
His expression didn't change. "Really? What is it?"
"Well, you know how some people say 'uke' as a short nickname for a ukulele?"
He nodded.
"And you know the name 'Eugene'?"
He nodded warily. "Yeah?"
"Well, what about combining them to name my ukulele... Wait for it... Uke-gene?"
He was silent for a while, looking at me like he was trying to figure out whether I was being serious or not. "No," he said eventually.
"What?" I asked. "You can't do that! You told me I had to name him myself."
"Yeah, but not when you keep trying to give him stupid names like Uke-y and Uke-gene and Lele," he said.
"Hey, I worked hard on those names," I defended.
"Yeah, but Uke-y?" he asked. "Really?"
I sighed. "Then what am I supposed to name him? Steve? Carl? Bob?"
"No, just..." He closed his eyes and sighed. "Be creative, but try not to be too punny."
I sighed. "Fine. But that's like asking The Rock not be muscular or Josh Peck not to be funny or... you not to be handsome. It's just impossible."
He looked up at me at the end of my sentence. "You think I'm handsome?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said. "I'd be stupid if I didn't."
He smiled, and it was almost completely sincere this time. "Thank you," he said. "You are making my day better and better every second you're in it."
I smiled at him. "Well, you do the same for me. Especially with the pizza you always have."
He laughed. "Yeah, about that..."
"You don't have pizza?"
"No, I just got only one today," he said, picking up a pizza from under his desk and placing it on top of it.
"Oh, that's ok. I wasn't that hungry anyways." I scooted my chair forward. "Pepperoni or cheese?"
"Both."
I laughed and he told me that I did a good job playing the song earlier (I got a chord wrong, though (bleugh)).
I shivered as I took a bite of my second slice. "It's kinda cold in here today," I observed.
"Eh," he said, dropping his pizza crust into the box. "The cold never bothered me anyway."
I laughed. "Frozen? You went to see it?"
"Yeah, but there was some kind of incident, I dunno," he said. "The projector caught fire or something. I couldn't finish watching. And it was right around that big ending, too."
"Well, uh, I think my mom's a little obsessed with that movie," I said, "so when she gets it on DVD, which she'll be, you know, camping out at the Best Buy for probably, you're welcome to come watch it with me."
"Aww," he said. "Thank you. That means a lot. But I've already got it pre-ordered."
"Oh." I laughed.
A few slices later, he complimented my new haircut ("It's almost like you copied mine..." he said, looking up at his own hair. "I would make a joke about you being stupid by cutting it in the winter, but I did the same thing").
Throughout the session, I made as many jokes as I could and complimented him as much as I could and was really nice in general to him because I knew he was having an off day (I tried to make it more of an on day?). I hugged him before I left (apparently I'm a hugger now? (New Year's resolutions always come through anyways)) and he hugged back. He was really warm (and a really good hugger).
I kind of worried about him in the back of my mind for the rest of the day.
When I got to the lunch table everyone was at, they were all just about finished and I got to see Ryan a bit, but not much. My next class was with Ryan and I was grateful for that (although he still had that weird air about him (and he was really focused on class but time is time)). The rest of the day was kind of boring and bland (like school is every day) until music at the end of the day, because the original music teacher, Ms. Archer, was there. I wondered what had happened to her, because Dallon said that she was in an accident but turns out she was pregnant and got married. I congratulated her and said that I would've gotten her a wedding gift if I knew. She complimented my new hair cut (and so did Gerard (ew)) but said something about getting it cut in the middle of winter. I told her that I really had no other choice but to cut it and she asked why (because teachers always ask why to everything (I hate that)) and I told her that I got gum in it and she laughed and told me that I'd have to tell her the whole story sometime.
Ms. Archer wanted to take time to talk to every one of the students, so she did, and the rest of us jammed and talked until we wanted to go home because Ms. Archer said we could stay. I did some kind of drums/bass duet with Dallon (and it was pretty darn groovy if I said so myself (which I did)) before walking over to the Ross-Smith-Stump house. I only stayed there for about an hour because homework and dinner are things I needed to do at home.
In the middle of dinner, the house phone rang. I answered it and it was Dallon (he even sounded sad over the phone). I had left my ukulele at school and could come pick it up that night or the next morning. I told him I would pick it up the next day because I'm a lazy little shit.
I finished dinner then did my homework (ugh) then went to bed and dreamt about surfing on a sea of Diet Dr. Pepper (I don't know why, but it was very specific that it was diet) with a giant ukulele as a surf board.
The next morning when I went over to the Ross-Smith-Stump house, Ryan was there and he was dressed in his school uniform. I see him in it a lot, but today it was just hotter and different for some reason. Maybe it was that his hair was still damp from showering and it was curly (and to be honest, I didn't know he had naturally curly hair). He also had his tie untied and around his collar with his shirt unbuttoned four buttons (And it was very hot if I said so my self). I just kind of watched him from the living room, not really doing anything else. He was doing something at the stove and was eating (what looked like) a rolled up pancake.
"Oh shi--Brendon, what the hell." I heard come from behind me. I turned around (and I'm pretty sure Ryan did too) and saw Patrick at the end of the stairs.
"Y'know, you guys swear a lot when you're tired and scared," I said, sitting on the couch, with Ryan joining me shortly.
"Blame it on Jon," Ryan said with a mouth full of food.
"Have some manners and don't talk with food in your mouth," Patrick said, walking past the couch. Ryan opened his mouth at Patrick and Patrick just rolled his eyes and gave him the finger, causing Ryan to chuckle.
"Asshole," Ryan said.
I'd never really seen them acting this way, but in a way, it was kind of endearing.
My eyes just so happened to slip down to Ryan's unbuttoned shirt as they wandered over to his bare chest beyond that. I subconsciously leaned closer to him, taking in his curls. They were big and looked really, really soft. My hand kind of, subconsciously, of course, lifted up to them.
"Brendon?" Ryan asked. "What are you doing?"
I dropped my hand and leaned away. "Sorry," I said.
Then, that's when I realized what was so different about him wearing his school uniform. In the mornings, he was usually wearing his work uniform or already at work. I informed him of my observation and he told me he had switched his shifts from being in the morning to being at night. I hugged him because I was apparently becoming a hugger.
"No PDA," Spencer said, walking through the living room. "Please."
"We were just hugging," Ryan said.
"Still gross," Spencer said before he walked into the kitchen.
"Don't listen to him," I said. "He's a stupidface."
"He's a whiney bitch, that's what he is," Ryan said loudly.
"I heard that!" Spencer called out.
"You were supposed to, bitch!" Ryan replied.
"Jerk!"
"We're not turning this into Supernatural again!"
Spencer sighed. "Fine!"
"But you're still a bitch."
Spencer flipped him off (that seems to happen a lot in this family) and continued to make his bowl of cereal. Ryan laughed and shook his head a little.
*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*...*
We went to school after Josh and Tyler came over and I picked up my ukulele from Mrs. Archer (as we had to call her now(Dallon wasn't there)) and then continued with classes. Nothing really happened until lunch with Ryan (and Spencer and Patrick and Mikey and Vic).
I greeted Ryan with a kiss and everyone made gagging noises. Ryan flipped them off and sat down with his tray.
"I wanted to ask you all a question," Vic said after a few minutes. We all looked at him to let him know we were listening. "I, uhm, wanted to ask i-if, uhm, y-you guys would like to uhm... C-Come to my sixteenth birthday party?"
"Hell yeah!" Spencer exclaimed, putting an arm around Vic and hugging him.
We all said we would come and asked him when it was. He said it was on Saturday and that all he really wanted/needed was a few more guitar picks, some new headphones and a microphone.
All of us talked and figured out who would get him what (the gang and I were all going to pitch in and get him really good headphones (but Spencer was going to get him hair products (typical))).
School was bleh and music was meh and instead of walking to the Ross-Smith-Stump house or my house, I walked to Ryan's work so I could walk him home. He worked at the local supermarket stocking shelves (that was what he liked to tell everyone, but he was a bag boy mostly).
When I got there, I practically ran to the checkouts and searched for Ryan. I saw him yawning and bagging an old lady's groceries.
I hurried over and grabbed about five candy bars that I'd probably inhale within the first five seconds of purchasing.
"Would you like these in a bag?" the cashier lady asked me after she had rung up my items. She was giving me a weird look, but it was probably just jealousy.
"Yes, please," I said.
Ryan didn't look up as he bagged the candy bars and handed me them. "Thanks for shopping with us," he said in a monotone. "Come again soon."
I took the bag from him and realized he had earphones in. I walked around to stand beside him and get out of the way of the next person in line.
Ryan walked away from that cash register and over to another one. Halfway there, I poked his side to get his attention. He turned around quickly and held up his hands like he was getting ready to throw down some karate moves. When he saw it was just little ol' me, his shoulders relaxed and he pulled out one of his earphones.
"Hey," he said, "what are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to come and see you in your work habitat and walk you home," I said. I held up my bag o' candy. "And maybe to get some candy bars."
He smiled, but it was tired. "Well, thank you," he said. "I should be off in" he pulled out his phone and clicked it to show the time "ten minutes ago." He closed his eyes and sighed. He opened them again a second later and looked at me. "So, you're walking me home?"
He clocked out and we walked down the sidewalk to our neighborhood (or, rather, my neighborhood that had woods near it that he lived in) and shared one of my candy bars.
"That's your house, right?" Ryan asked, pointing to the house that was, in fact, mine.
"Right," I answered. "Why?"
"Because my house is all the way in the middle of the woods," he said, on the verge of whining, "and I'm so tired." He looked at me with a pouty face. "Can I stay at your house tonight?"
"Yeah, of course," I said because I can't resist the pouty face. "But what are you going to wear to bed? What are you going to wear tomorrow? What are you going tell Jon?"
"I will wear these clothes or borrow yours," he said, counting the answers on his fingers, "for the second question, see answer one and I'll tell Jon I'm my own person and am and adult now. He can't tell me I have to come home."
"Fair enough," I said as we turned and walked up the path to my door. "But you do realize that you're going to have to meet my parents, right?"
"What are you talking about?" he asked as we stepped up onto my porch. "I've met your parents before."
"Yeah, but this time will be different," I said. "This will be dinner with them and Dad asking questions and Mom worrying whether you'll like the dinner she made or not. This will be Mom, Dad, meet my boyfriend dinner. Oh, God, I hope they like him dinner."
He nodded and took in what I had said. "Well, then. I'm glad I'm wearing my school uniform." He straightened his tie and looked at me. "Now or never, right?"
"Not really," I said. "I wish I would've been able to warn Mom, though. She could've helped me pick out something cooler to wear besides my hand-me-down pants with a hand-me-down tie."
"So the shirt is new?" he asked.
"No, not really," I said. "It was my school shirt since sophomore year. We purposefully got it larger so we wouldn't have to buy a new one every year, but it's still big on me. I didn't grow much."
"You look cute," he said, taking a step closer to me.
"Yeah, but you look cuter in that snazzy jacket." I stepped closer to him and tugged at the bottom of his jacket.
He smiled at me and we leaned in, but were interrupted by the front door opening.
"Brendon, are you-" Mom asked, opening the door. She stopped speaking when she saw us. "Oh, I-I just heard voices and...I'll leave you two..." She winked at me (but she couldn't really wink, so she more so blinked at me) before closing the door.
I looked at Ryan. "Do I need to get you to the bathroom?"
"Or you can just leave me out here."
I opened the door for him and he hurried down the hall to the bathroom. I walked into the kitchen to find Mom.
"Is that your boyfriend?" she whispered as I walked in.
I nodded and smiled slightly.
"Oh, he's cute!" she said. "Way cuter than I remember. You always pick the cutest ones."
I smiled. "Yeah, he's a cutie," I said. I walked over and sat on my usual spot on the counter. "So, when's Dad coming home?"
"Probably around five, like he usually does," she said. "Do you know if Ryan's a vegetarian or anything? So I can make him something separate?"
"No, he'll be fine," I said. "Thanks for offering."
"It's just what I do," she said, looking up to smile at me.
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yaaaay chapter up on time
Picture to the right is Brendon